Magic Maker - How to make magic in another world - - Chapter 95

Magic Maker – How to make magic in another world –

Chapter 95   Winona’s circumstances

The day before the training session.

The sun had already set, dinner was over, and all preparations for sleep were in place. After washing away the dirt and fatigue from my body, I returned to my room and looked out the window.

The moon was yellow, not red. There are times when I wonder when the days dyed in red will come. It’s said that it won’t be a problem for several years, but whether it’s two years, three years, or more is uncertain. It’s a period of anxious days, but I usually try to keep those thoughts out of my mind. After all, when the time comes, I will be the first to know.

I collapsed onto the bed and gazed up at the ceiling.

“So, it begins tomorrow.”

The training session starting tomorrow seemed more challenging than treating lazy syndrome in a different sense. To be honest, the training session felt heavier than the treatment itself.

Treatment could be managed with time, physical strength, magical power, and determination. While there might be friction and complicated relationships, interacting with people inevitably led to such situations, but the treatment itself wasn’t that troublesome. So, the rest was a battle against myself. It had its tough aspects, but for me, it was relatively stress-free. Quietly working on something suited my nature, which is why I delved into researching magic, something I didn’t fully understand.

However, I’m not good at leading people or teaching them. It’s not a matter of being incompetent, but rather, it causes me a lot of mental stress.

Originally, I was shy, and while I had forgotten about it since there were things I needed to do, I didn’t have the ability to smoothly communicate with others in normal situations.

In my childhood, I managed to overcome it to some extent thanks to my sister.

Of course, even when I was in Japan, it’s not like I didn’t interact with people. However, as a working adult, being shy usually doesn’t bode well in most situations. Therefore, many working adults, despite being shy or not good at socializing, manage to get by, forcing themselves and enduring.

I was one of those people, masking my discomfort and doing things I wasn’t good at. This only added to the stress. In other words, I’m not good at dealing with people. It’s not an inherent trait that can be overcome; it’s something to endure somehow.

Placing my hand on my chest, I felt my heart beating faster than usual. The day before the event, or rather, the day before an important task, it felt like nervousness. It was an obsessive thought that failure was not an option.

Indeed, if the training session ended in failure, there would be consequences. Both I and Queen Milhya would likely be held accountable.

“…I’ve done it so many times before, haven’t I? Overcome it many times…”

I unconsciously spoke to myself as if reminding myself. There were two opinions within me—one that believed I could do it and one that doubted. Both opinions were not entirely wrong. The fact was that I had overcome difficulties in the past. However, the nature of the challenges faced before and this time was different. Trying various opinions, denying them, and ultimately failing to convince myself, I approached tomorrow in an unstable mental state.

Let’s be honest. I’m extremely anxious. Filled with the fear of failure, I got up from the bed and headed towards the desk. On top of it lay the magic book I intended to use for the training session. I had created it myself. I handed one of the two books to my sister. This one was the other one I had created. The contents were the same. I wanted to make enough copies to distribute to all the trainees, but due to the scarcity of clean paper, it was impossible. While substitutes such as parchment or wooden boards were plentiful, using them for the nobles’ classes would be problematic. In the end, I settled for verbal explanations. Having paper was a luxury, I realized.

I flipped through the magic book, simulating in my head what kind of lecture I would give repeatedly. Adapting on the fly might work, but it’s not efficient, and teaching someone something is not a lax endeavor. A single mistake could implant incorrect knowledge in the other person’s mind, leading to different, incorrect conclusions. That’s why educators must take responsibility for each word they say. If you don’t know, admit it. Never claim to understand something you don’t. After running through dozens, maybe hundreds of simulations a few times, I returned to bed. There’s no point in thinking any further. I should have done what I could. Even if there are deficiencies now, I won’t be able to address them. So, it’s more constructive to rest as much as possible to prepare for tomorrow.

“All right, let’s sleep.”

Once a decision is made, the next step is execution. In other words, it’s time to go to bed. I extinguished the candle flames. Even in my room, I never used a flare during ignition. It might sound a bit self-righteous or awkward to say, but I’m just diligent, or perhaps clumsy. That’s just the way I am, so there’s no helping it. Well then, time to sleep. I closed my eyelids in the room painted in darkness. Right as I was about to do so, there was a knock on the door.

“Winona? Please come in.”

I said, and a few seconds later, the door opened, allowing the candlelight to spill into the room. As expected, it was Winona. I sighed internally. Ah, the usual.

When Winona entered the room, her face turned red. Well, she might have been blushing even before entering the room. Even in the candlelight, her face was visibly red. It was the usual scenario. I could predict the unfolding events.

She looked embarrassed, avoiding eye contact, and said, “Um, were you going to bed?”

“Were you going to bed?” Her words were identical. I wasn’t sure if she was aware of it, but the consistency suggested… she was probably practicing. When preparing in advance, I often rehearse such conversations in my head. Consequently, similar words tend to come out in the actual situation. I believe Winona is doing something similar—practicing her lines in advance.

I slightly altered my response. However, the gist remained the same: either I was about to sleep or hadn’t gone to bed yet. She usually arrives somewhat early for bedtime, prompting her to respond, “Is that so?”

“I-Is that so?”

Bingo.

Winona’s line hit the mark, not that it brought any joy. I observed Winona. Despite the familiar situation and identical dialogue, today seemed a bit different. She appeared slightly more scantily clad than usual.

Sleepwear for women in this world tends to be quite thin. It typically involves a camisole or babydoll-like undergarment with just a cardigan thrown on top. Although there are variations between individuals, the general theme remains consistent. However, this applies mainly to nobility. I don’t know much about commoners and their sleeping attire because I’ve never seen a woman’s sleepwear outside my family.

Even considering that, Winona’s attire today is thin. No, the style is similar, but the fabric is, how should I put it, quite transparent. Too thin. You can see the skin—enough to notice the distinct curves of a woman. Despite wearing a thin cardigan over it, very little is left concealed.

Today, there’s an even stronger allure, or something of that sort. Winona is still young, around the late teens, I suppose. Therefore, there’s a sense of youthfulness and innocence, yet her breasts and hips appear mature. It wasn’t something I paid much attention to before, or rather, I couldn’t see it, so I didn’t notice.

An unspoken atmosphere. In the midst of it, each slight movement from Winona sends the sound of fabric rustling through the silent air. It’s seductive. However, I am composed. I should be calm. I am calm, right? Yes, I am!

“A-um…”

“Y-yes!?”

For some reason, my heart is pounding. I’ve never experienced this before. Not understanding the reason, I feel embarrassingly flustered.

“Um… W-Would you… um, spend the night with me?”

Until now, I would have immediately refused. However, on this particular day, I couldn’t give an instant answer. Faced with Winona’s beseeching gaze, my body stiffened. Suddenly coming back to my senses, I hastily shook my head.

“S-Sorry, but, you know, that’s not necessary.”

Although my voice sounded firm, the embarrassment overshadowed any composure, preventing me from reflecting on myself. Upon receiving my response, Winona looked disappointed and was about to leave the room – that’s what she would normally do. However, today’s Winona remained motionless in the same spot, tightly pursing her lips.

What’s going on?

I think this, but I can’t say anything. Despite refusing once, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her to leave. Another bout of silence. Within it, Winona finally spoke.

“I-I mean… Do I not have any appeal…?”

“Huh? N-No, I think you do. Yeah.”

“B-But, Shion-sama, you seem uninterested in me, um, in that way…”

“I-It’s not that I don’t want to… It’s more like, I can’t, or rather…”

Winona widened her eyes and approached my face.

She’s close, too close, this girl!

“S-So, in a physical sense?”

“Wha- No, not like that.”

“T-Then, what do you mean!?”

“It’s not that, okay?”

“Then! I-Is it because I’m not attractive to you…?”

Her face looks like she might burst into tears. Usually, if someone gets this close, Winona would panic and retreat, but she’s the one who came this close, seemingly unaware. What’s visible on her face? Frustration? What could she be anxious about? I sighed and responded to Winona’s question.

“No, it’s not like that. It’s not because of Winona or any issue with my body.”

“T-Then, why?”

“It’s because of a promise.”

“A promise…?”

“Yeah, a promise. It’s not something someone else imposed on me. I decided it myself. I made a choice not to engage in that kind of relationship with anyone.”

More precisely, I won’t get married. I believe that includes romantic relationships with the opposite sex according to the promise I made with my sister. So, I won’t get involved romantically, won’t have physical relationships, won’t date, and won’t marry. It’s a promise from my childhood. But I intend to keep that promise. Even if there’s a risk that not losing my virginity might affect my ability to use magic. I won’t break the promise unless someone appears whom I want to embrace enough to risk breaking it. I doubt someone like that will ever appear, though.

“W-Why did you make such a promise!?”

Winona pressed me with a questioning tone. Her distance is closer than usual. But I, who has somewhat gotten used to the situation, could think about it relatively calmly. Why, indeed. I wonder why. I can’t come up with a fitting answer.

“Hmm, maybe it’s because I don’t want to cause sadness.”

“S-So, for that reason, you gave up on major life choices!?”

“Nah, not just marriage but also romantic relationships and physical relationships. Well, it turned out that way.”

“That’s absurd!”

Emotionally shouted at, I felt overwhelmed. Why is Winona acting like this? She’s not her usual self. Some kind of impatience and a peculiar emotion are distorting her expression.

“It might be strange, yeah. But I’m the one who made that decision. So, I’ll keep my promise. No matter how absurd it may sound, I decided it, you know.”

“F-For someone else’s sake…?”

“For someone else’s sake and for my sake, maybe.”

No regrets, no hesitation. That’s how I feel. So, I faced Winona’s gaze directly. Her eyes are wavering. I don’t understand why she’s doing this. What’s clear is that she isn’t satisfied with this action. It’s not what she truly wants.

“Even if there’s no promise, I would have declined.”

“W-Why?”

“Well, Winona, you don’t have any special feelings for me, right?”

“T-That’s, well, I, I-I-I…”

Winona was visibly shaken. It’s evident to anyone that she doesn’t harbor romantic or admiring feelings for me. Maybe she didn’t realize it herself.

I wonder if she thought that if she kept asking me to sleep with her every day, it would be interpreted as having affection for me. Normally, one might think there’s an ulterior motive behind it. However, being the king of virgins, I remain unfazed. A resigned virgin possesses infinitely clear eyes, remaining unperturbed by various matters.

In other words, it’s acceptance.

Acceptance leads to resignation, and resignation leads to optimism. Ultimately, you start thinking that it doesn’t really matter and may even take pride in it. That’s the essence of being a human… no, a virgin.

If I were to accept Winona’s proposal and engage in a physical relationship, I believe we would only gain temporary pleasure and mutually cause more harm.

There is no bond between us.

No friendship, trust, or love.

Therefore, this act should not be condoned.

As I stare at her, Winona avoids eye contact.

She’s easy to read.

It’s clear she can’t tell lies, and I’ve come to understand this over the past two weeks.

She’s not a bad person.

Just not someone who appears to be strong.

“Hey, Winona. Why are you doing something like this? Is there a reason behind it?”

I spoke to her as calmly as possible.

“W-Why would you ask such a thing?”

“I can’t imagine Winona doing something like this lightly. Even though we’ve only known each other for about three weeks, I feel like I understand you to that extent. If it’s okay with you, could you tell me?”

Winona had been looking down, hugging her body, but she eventually nodded slightly.

Sitting on the bed, I gestured for her to join me.

“Sit.”

Normally, she might have hesitated.

But today, the current Winona was straightforward.

She placed the candlestick on the table and sat down next to me.

She seemed to be contemplating something.

Then, after a moment of silence, Winona unexpectedly began to speak.