Magic Maker - How to make magic in another world - - Chapter 172

Magic Maker – How to make magic in another world –

Chapter 172   You should also consider romantic relationships

The ceiling I looked up at from the bed was becoming familiar. It was a silent night in the Count’s residence. I was drifting through the sea of thoughts as usual. I recalled the conversation with Dominic.

“Both, huh? I don’t think it’s entirely wrong.”

I could understand Dominic’s perspective. He provided quite objective advice. However, I couldn’t bring myself to act exactly as Dominic advised. Perhaps because it wasn’t something I had thought of myself.

“I’ve always thought and found answers on my own. About magic and everything else.”

Generally, when I talked to someone, the answer had already been found or the action had already been taken. Sharing genuine concerns with someone might be a first, maybe even the first time with Dominic. Yet, that made me feel more strongly about it.

I couldn’t just accept someone’s words blindly and entrust my fate to them. In the end, I had to think for myself and convince myself. So, the policy for the future was decided.

“Same as magic. Analysis, hypothesis, verification, and then results. That’s my way. Love, too!”

My way was to think systematically. If that was my approach to magic, then relationships should be the same. With the method decided, all that was left was to think. Let’s organize the current situation.

First, I was confessed to by Winona, and I put the response on hold. Then, there’s Marie, my sister. We made a promise in our childhood that neither of us would marry anyone. It meant that by not marrying someone else, I wouldn’t leave Marie alone since we couldn’t marry each other. However, that promise was recently broken in Marie’s own words. Now, what should I consider in this situation?

First, let’s consider the choices.

1. 1. 1. 1. Choose Marie.

1. 1. 1. 1. Choose Winona.

1. 1. 1. 1. Choose both.

1. 1. 1. 1. Choose neither.

Excluding the option of being indecisive and running away, these are the four choices.

To make a choice, I need sufficient reasons. So, let’s start with analysis and assumptions to gather criteria for judgment.

Thinking about my emotions, I realize I like both Winona and Marie. However, whether it’s romantic feelings or not is unclear. It feels like a mix of familial love and affection for the opposite sex. What can be stated for sure is that I can’t determine which one I like more. Nevertheless, I can’t help but prioritize Marie, thinking of her more like family, even though I feel sorry for Winona. When it comes to entering into a romantic relationship, the scale is still tipped toward Marie, but it’s not an unwavering decision. Depending on the situation, prioritizing Winona might also be an option.

Now, let’s consider my feelings towards them from a romantic perspective. This is a crucial aspect. If I can clearly determine that I like one more than the other, it would be a powerful criterion.

First, I recall Marie. She’s been my sister since childhood, although not by blood. But Marie likely considers me her real brother. Setting aside how Marie actually views me for now, let’s focus on my feelings.

Do I see Marie as a romantic interest? Honestly, there might be a subconscious aspect where I saw her as the opposite sex. In our childhood, there were times when the three of us—Mom, Marie, and I—bathed together. I remember feeling a bit embarrassed but also being aware of her as the opposite sex. Of course, I consider her family, but it’s not that simple. I’m a reincarnated person with memories from my past life. During childhood, my awareness of this fact was minimal, but when Marie became afflicted with the Lazy syndrome, and I thought I might lose her, what did I truly feel? When facing the possibility of losing a cherished and close presence, did I merely see her as a sister? I don’t know. However, I do have memories of being terrified. I feared the loss of someone important and close. So, at that time, did I see Marie as a sister?

So, what about the days we spent together after saving Marie, being separated, and then reuniting until today?

Was Marie truly my sister?

I suddenly recall the moment when I gave her the necklace.

The expression on her face at that time.

The genuinely happy smile from the depths of her heart.

What did I think when I saw that face?

…I must have thought she was cute.

Would one normally think such a thing about their sister?

While it’s common to feel happy when a family member is delighted, is it usual to purely think they’re cute?

Even if one finds their family members cute, the feeling seems different from what I felt at that time.

I was excited, my heart pounding.

That wasn’t a feeling one would harbor towards a family member.

“I see… I…”

At that moment, I must have distinctly recognized Marie as a girl.

Not as a sister, but as an individual woman.

Otherwise, I wouldn’t have experienced such emotions.

During our childhood, she tried to become strong to protect me.

Despite the uncertainty of the existence of magic, she searched for it with me, never losing her smile.

She found the Trout and taught me about it.

She earnestly assisted me in magical research.

She was always by my side, offering support.

She said she loved me, that I was precious.

And now, I find Marie charming.

I realized this fact, and while surprised, it also felt right.

Perhaps, I might have noticed it earlier.

One conclusion has been reached.

I see Marie as a woman and find her attractive.

It’s quite an astonishing conclusion, but I need to accept this fact.

My heart suddenly skipped a beat.

No exhilaration, just a warmth growing in my chest.

It felt calm and somewhat pleasant.

I mustn’t forget this feeling.

“All right. Let’s move on.”

I’ve understood my feelings towards Marie. Now, how about my feelings towards Winona?

Initially, there was a desire to help a pitiful girl in a difficult situation. As we spent more time together, a sense of closeness developed, and she began to resemble a protected figure. Winona, in turn, began to cling to me. However, it was a form of codependency, and we both needed to reconsider our thoughts. I pushed Winona away, and she, determinedly, expressed her wish to stay with me. Since then, we’ve had a relationship akin to master and servant, yet also akin to friends.

So, until the confession, did I consider Winona just a friend?

No, it wasn’t just that. There was indeed a part of me that saw her as a woman, but I hadn’t considered her as a romantic interest. It was the confession that prompted me to reassess my impression of Winona.

I realized my heart would race when I was with her. Winona has a good figure, a good personality, and is beautiful. Anyone would find her attractive as a woman. I strongly became aware of having such a woman near me. Being close to her made my heart flutter, and meeting her gaze would make me feel embarrassed. It seemed like a situation characteristic of youth. However, whether this was romantic affection remained uncertain. Perhaps, it was just the awkwardness of dealing with a girl I had a liking for.

Once again, a conclusion was reached. I see Winona as a woman, and just like Marie, I find her attractive.

To summarize:

I have romantic feelings for both of them, but it’s unclear if these are romantic emotions. In other words, choosing one over the other is currently impossible.

“In that case, let’s temporarily exclude the options of ‘Choosing Marie’ and ‘Choosing Winona.'”

That leaves us with either ‘Choosing both’ or ‘Choosing neither.’ Despite being a challenging decision, I must make a choice.

Next, I should consider the feelings of both of them.

I’ve understood my emotions, but what about Marie’s and Winona’s feelings?

Starting with Marie:

As mentioned earlier, Marie made a promise with me during our childhood. The promise was not to marry anyone, but a few months ago, she voluntarily dissolved that promise. Marie said she didn’t want to bind me with a childhood promise. Why did she do such a thing?

The general assumption would be that she changed her thoughts as she grew older. While some children may express the desire to marry their parents in their childhood, such thoughts usually change as they become adults. Therefore, it’s reasonable to think that Marie developed a more realistic perspective and annulled the promise.

“Is that really true…? It’s about Marie.”

Even during my stay in the royal capital Sanostria, there has been a significant shift in someone who liked me enough to try to come to me, as confirmed by my parents’ testimonies. Father mentioned that she must have learned about my activities in Sanostria and had some thoughts about it. But would that be enough to change one’s perspective so drastically? I don’t know what Marie is thinking.

After the goblin attack, I recall Marie practicing swordsmanship alone. Even at that time, I couldn’t understand Marie. It was only when we talked that I learned she was troubled and battling something. Even now, she might be pondering something and struggling alone, just like back then. Still, Marie follows me without saying anything, and she was genuinely delighted with the present. So, I don’t think she dislikes me or is trying to distance herself as a sister. Then, what is the reason for her recent calm attitude and indifferent demeanor? The possessive sister who monopolized me in the past and expressed joy and sorrow over my matters is no longer there… Is that really true?

If it is, how would I feel about it? I would feel lonely and sad. And at the same time, I would feel a painful ache in my chest. However, I also thought that these were selfish emotions. Marie doesn’t know that we’re not blood-related. I don’t understand Marie’s current thoughts. But still, there was a sense of discomfort.

“…I still can’t understand, huh?”

To know Marie’s thoughts, I have no choice but to ask Marie herself. I don’t know if she will answer after I ask her. Anyway, for now, I’ve reached a conclusion about Marie’s feelings. I don’t know what Marie is thinking, but I believe she likes me. Whether it’s romantic feelings or familial love is unclear.

Now, let’s consider Winona’s feelings. Initially, when I first met Winona, there was a considerable barrier between us due to mutual reservations. Winona’s backward personality was also a factor, but the main issue was her father. Winona’s father, a fallen noble, lamented their current situation. To regain nobility, he schemed to bring his daughter, Winona, closer to me, a marquis, and marry her off.

Winona’s father treated her as a tool. However, as we talked and got to know each other, understanding deepened, and the distance between us shortened. Winona became a puppet of her father, unable to have her own will. But after meeting me, she gained self-awareness, began to express her own desires, and gradually acted on her own decisions, while still being somewhat dependent on me.

She has become stronger. The evidence lies in her increased ability to express her feelings. As a result, Winona confessed her feelings to me. I was taken aback. I never expected her to convey her affection.

I knew that Winona respected me. There were times when I thought she might even be somewhat deifying me. However, it was admiration, reverence, not romantic feelings, or so I thought. Yet, Winona clearly told me that she likes me.

Words such as admiration and reverence might sometimes convey liking. However, I don’t believe Winona expressed her affection for me from the feelings that stem from blind admiration. The reason being that she couldn’t have her own will for a long time.

If she admired me and was only dependent on me, she would have just quietly stayed by my side. But she asserted her feelings and conveyed her emotions to me. That’s something that can’t be done without clear romantic feelings. Even if she herself thought it was romantic feelings, it might actually be dependency.

However, looking at Winona recently, I couldn’t think that way. Winona has been thinking on her own, acting on her own, and has started to walk her own path in life. Her words are likely a reflection of her true feelings.

To summarize, the Winona of the past lacked her own will, but recently she has begun to stand on her own. The tendency to depend on me has disappeared, and beyond admiration and reverence, she wanted to be in an equal position. Her desire to become a magic user was an expression of that sentiment.

As a result, Winona developed romantic feelings and confessed to me. The conclusion about Winona’s feelings has been reached. Winona is in love with me, and the confession stems from clear romantic feelings.

I felt my face getting warm. To think I would embarrass myself by blushing over my own thoughts. Feeling even more embarrassed, I buried my face in the pillow and let out a small scream.

“A-Alright, calm down, me!”

Having considered my emotions and the feelings of the two individuals involved, when viewed from a romantic standpoint, I find both of them equally likable and attractive as potential partners.

For Marie, it’s unclear whether she sees me as a romantic interest or has romantic feelings, but she values me as an important presence.

As for Winona, she sees me as a romantic interest, and there are indeed romantic feelings involved.

Considering the current available evidence, there may not be any other decisive criteria.

The remaining choices are between ‘Choosing both’ and ‘Choosing neither.’

What to do?

Whom should I choose?

The conclusion I’ve come up with is…