Lonely Me And The Lonely Caring Goddess - Chapter 305: Hayato’s Resolve
I Reincarnated As A Trash Prince
Hayato’s Resolve
Yuuji’s POV.
“I’m sorry, Natsumi-senpai. I lost.”
In my mind, I could say I had no regrets—I’d given it everything I had. But unfortunately, a match is a match.
This time it was a crushing, utter defeat. I’d known from the start that Kazunari was simply better at ring toss. So truthfully, the sting of loss wasn’t all that sharp.
Still… having boldly declared I would beat her, it doesn’t exactly look good for me now, does it?
“You don’t look very upset about it?”
“You can tell?”
“Well, yeah. I play tennis too, so I can sort of understand how Yuuji feels.”
“I see.”
“Fufu. Anyway, good work out there. I’ve never seen you look so serious before…”
As she said that, Natsumi-senpai’s cheeks gradually began to flush.
Good grief… She’s usually so bold and straightforward, yet she has this terribly shy side. It’s honestly lethal.
And… that very part of her is so unbearably cute that I can’t help but—
“What?”
“Eh?”
“Finish that sentence.”
“Uwahh…”
Before I knew it, something teasing slipped out of my mouth. But really, who could blame me? Faced with such an adorable Natsumi-senpai, even I have my limits.
“…was cool.”
“Hm?”
“…You were cool.”
“I can’t hear you.”
“Uuuu… I said you were cool!! Did you hear that!? Satisfied now!?”
In an instant, her face went beyond flushed and straight to blazing crimson—like a kettle that had just come to a boil.
Seeing her like this, my honest impulse is to pull her into my arms right here and now…
But if I did that in a place like this, it was obvious Natsumi-senpai would melt into an irreparable mess.
Which is exactly why we can never be like Kazunari and the others.
“Ughhh… I absolutely won’t forgive you. I was going to let it slide because you tried so hard!”
“Eh? What are you even—”
“As promised, I’m going to punish you properly. This is your penalty for losing to Takanashi-kun!”
“Ehhh…”
Even now her face remained tinged with red, yet she wore a fearless grin as she delivered her verdict like a judge pronouncing sentence.
Maybe I let my own desires show a little too openly… And that smile of hers is giving me a very bad feeling.
“Now then… I need to think carefully about what I should make you do.”
“Please go easy on me…”
Even as I said that, deep down—exactly as Kazunari had warned—I was secretly looking forward to whatever “punishment” Natsumi-senpai had in store.
But if I actually told her that, it would ruin the fun she was clearly having planning my torment. So for now, I decided to stay quiet like a good boy.
That said…
“Here you are, Natsumi-senpai.”
I gently offered her the prize I’d been holding—the one I’d won earlier.
I’d aimed for victory above all else, so I didn’t have any particular attachment to it… Wait, what even is this thing?
“Um… what is this?”
“…I have no idea.”
A kappa-like costume, swirly glasses, and a tiny puckered mouth.
I have to wonder how on earth I managed to win something so incomprehensible.
“Sigh… Even in the middle of the match, Takanashi-kun was clearly thinking about how to make Sara happy.”
“Urk…”
When she puts it like that, I really can’t argue back.
Of course I wanted to win for Natsumi-senpai’s sake, but when it came to the prize itself, victory took priority over everything else.
In that sense too… I really did lose completely to Kazunari. This is true and total defeat.
“But… looking at it closely, maybe it’s kind of charming?”
“R-really?”
“Alright, its name is officially ‘Yuuji’ from now on.”
“Ehhhhhh?!”
Seeing my reaction, Natsumi-senpai laughed even more delightedly.
Come on… is that really necessary?
“Nfufu. Well then, I’ll take very good care of it.”
“…Hearing that actually makes me feel better.”
“You should be grateful to me.”
Why does she have to sound so superior about it…? Well, whatever.
Is this already part of the punishment, I wonder?
“But…”
She paused there, cheeks flushing once more as she nervously glanced around.
I have no idea what she’s checking for, but acting so suspiciously is only going to draw more attention…
“Um… you know.”
“Yes?”
“…Th-thank you… Yuuji. I was… really happy… that you tried so hard for me.”
Her face was bright red as she murmured the words in the tiniest voice.
The gesture was so unbearably adorable that my heart started pounding violently.
I couldn’t tear my eyes away.
“H-hey… don’t stare like that.”
The moment our eyes met, she began fidgeting in embarrassment, looking everywhere but at me.
This is unfair. This is way too unfair…
For the first time, I truly understood how Kazunari must feel whenever he loses control in public because of Sara’s little gestures.
So that’s what it’s like for him…
“Th-that’s enough!!”
“Ow!?”
The next instant, a sharp pain shot through my right shin.
It seemed Natsumi-senpai’s embarrassment had finally reached its limit, and she’d resorted to physical force.
…Could you at least hold back a little…?
This seriously hurts.
“Owww…”
“Hmph. This is punishment for making me go through that embarrassment play.”
Maybe to hide her own fluster, she struck an even more assertive pose than usual.
Yeah… we really aren’t suited for the kind of sweet, lovey-dovey stuff Kazunari and Sara have.
If every nice moment ends with me getting kicked like this, it’s honestly no joke.
***
Hayato’s POV.
Satsukawa-senpai truly walks her own path.
Even in the upperclassmen’s classrooms, she scatters noisy guys without hesitation, stays true to her feelings, and never wavers no matter who’s watching.
Her eyes are always fixed solely on Kazunari.
And when anyone shows even the slightest hostility toward him… she crushes it with terrifying decisiveness.
Once someone has been warned that harshly by “Satsukawa-senpai,” the sheer risk would make them think twice before trying anything stupid.
Moreover, by making her affection for Kazunari so blatantly obvious in public, she forces everyone else to accept that they have zero chance.
When you think about it that way…
At first glance her behavior might seem like she simply doesn’t read the room—just acting on pure whim.
But in reality, those public displays are actually clear warnings and declarations of intent.
She’s fully aware that she’s popular, that countless people direct their feelings toward her.
But she dismisses all of it as trivial nonsense—not worth a second thought.
At the same time, she must understand that simply being near her could invite vulgar jealousy or hostility toward Kazunari from others.
That’s probably why even the tiniest hint of malice directed at him triggers such a ferocious response.
Of course, this is just my speculation. The truth could be entirely different.
Maybe her unrestrained, sugary affection in public is simply because she loves Kazunari so much that she can’t help wanting to be affectionate.
Maybe her anger toward other guys is just because he’s that precious to her.
I could very well be overthinking everything.
But still…
Even if that’s all it is, watching Satsukawa-senpai like that makes me wonder…
What should I do…?
I never thought of myself as a playboy or someone who messed around.
I’ve taken tennis seriously ever since I was little.
But I’m still a guy. When girls cheer for me, of course it makes me happy.
And if someone says that’s made me a people-pleaser who tries to look good to everyone…
I can’t exactly deny it outright.
I don’t have the courage or the resolve—or the sheer ability—to stand alone the way Satsukawa-senpai does.
So I’ve always chosen the path of not making enemies. Even with people I didn’t particularly want to get close to, I just smiled and let things slide.
The result of all that self-preservation? The dishonorable titles “womanizer” and “playboy.”
Being treated like a promotional panda at group mixers.
The only reason I was finally able to change was because of Kazunari… but let’s set that aside for now.
Right now, if I were to clearly express my feelings for Toudou-san in this situation—especially in front of the girls I see every day—what kind of reaction would I get?
Wouldn’t it be exactly the same as what happens to Kazunari because of Satsukawa-senpai…?
I think I’d already vaguely realized it somewhere in my heart.
But seeing that scene earlier forced the reality of the problem right back in my face.
Even if someone calls it self-consciousness, the truth is that there really are girls who call themselves my “fan club” and give me special support. I get stopped on the street sometimes. I’ve received confessions—not as many as Satsukawa-senpai, but enough. So I have to accept that part honestly.
In other words, the jealousy and envy that being close to Satsukawa-senpai invites toward Kazunari… if the roles were reversed, all of it could end up directed at Toudou-san.
Which means the response required of me would naturally be the same as hers.
I can’t become like Satsukawa-senpai, yet I’ve ended up with the exact same problem.
And it’s all my fault—for always putting on a pleasant face to everyone, accidentally turning myself into someone “popular.”
“Yokokawa-kun? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, really. More importantly… here.”
I gently held out the prize I’d won at ring toss.
A chibi-style penguin mascot that even I, as a guy, thought was cute. Actually, Toudou-san had been aiming for it partway through too. I’d decided that no matter what, I was getting at least this one for her.
“Eh… but…”
She hesitated to reach out, clearly holding back.
Looks like I need one more push.
“Even if I keep it, a guy like me would just be troubled by it. So please accept it. Think of it as helping me out… okay?”
“Fufu, I don’t think that’s true.”
“No, it really is. …Do you not want it?”
I know that saying it this way makes it impossible for someone as kind as Toudou-san to refuse.
I’m fully aware it’s a little underhanded—but I want her to take it.
The truth is… I won this for you.
“No, that’s not it! But… are you really sure?”
“Of course. I want you to have it, Toudou-san.”
I pushed the mascot a little closer so it would be easier for her to take.
At this distance, all she has to do is reach out.
“U-um… okay then…”
“Here you go.”
Toudou-san extended her hand and carefully took the penguin from me.
She lifted it with both hands, cradling it like something precious… and broke into a beaming smile.
“Ehehe, it’s so cute!!”
She held it up to eye level, hugged it tightly against her chest, treating it almost like a little pet…
If this isn’t what an angel looks like, I don’t know what is.
So…
Toudou-san really is an unbearably cute angel.
“Thank you, Yokokawa-kun! I’ll treasure it!”
“Yeah. If it makes you happy, then I’m happy too.”
“Ehehe, what should I name it~?”
Seeing her this delighted made every bit of effort worth it.
Honestly… this feels even better than winning a tennis match.
Yes.
Seeing Toudou-san’s happy smile…
makes me happier than tennis, happier than anything.
So… I’ve decided.
No more hesitation.
There’s only one way to protect that smile.
I have to make it unmistakably clear how precious Toudou-san is to me.
No matter how pathetic I look, she’s the only one who matters to me—so I have to ask everyone to bless that.
For her sake, I don’t care how embarrassing it gets.
So I’ll tell her my true feelings. My honest heart.
I’ll ask her to accept them.
If once isn’t enough, I’ll say it again and again.
As long as it doesn’t cause any harm to Toudou-san.
And so, to Toudou-san… I will—
***
“Onee-chan will praise you for trying so hard, Kazunari.”
Hanako-san tugged insistently at my sleeve with her usual routine appeal. She wanted to pat my head… and since Sara had already given permission, there wasn’t really any reason to refuse.
I lowered my head to about her height, and her small hand immediately reached up.
Pat pat… pat pat.
“Good boy, good boy.”
Again and again, Hanako-san stroked my head with surprising care. I couldn’t see her face while looking down, but the gentle warmth of her hand conveyed plenty of kindness.
“…If this happened at my school, it would’ve caused a pretty big stir.”
“…Really?”
“…Yeah. Hanako-san was actually pretty popular with the boys? Especially after that one incident.”
“…I see. But she’s popular here too, right?”
“…Seems like it. People call her and Marina the ‘Twin Angels’ or something (lol).”
“…Uuuu, Youko’s being mean!!”
“…Ughhh, Vice President, I’m insanely jealous!”
“…I wanna be a little brother too… pat pat and hugs pleaseeee…”
“…What is this feeling? Toward that tiny body, I—!?”
“…Phew. Now that the idiots are gone, I can finally look at Nishikawa-san without holding back.”
“…So pure… the classic type is unbeatable!!”
“…For me, it’s Nishikawa-san or nothing! I’ve given up on Satsukawa-san!!”
“Kazunari, where to next?”
“Hmm… we’ve gone through all the third-year classrooms, so…”
Logically, the next stop would be the second-year floor.
Which means Sara and Natsumi-senpai’s classrooms… and naturally, that also means Yuuri-senpai, who I’m really not good with, will be there too.
Ugh. If it weren’t Sara’s class, I’d be seriously tempted to skip it.
“Honestly, I think it’s fine if we don’t force ourselves to visit our classroom.”
“Yeah. To be blunt, the history research booth is way too obviously angling for extra credits—it’s actually kind of a turn-off.”
Even though it’s her own class’s exhibit, Natsumi-senpai sure doesn’t hold back…
Still, for personal reasons, I’m quietly grateful.
“But we still have to at least make an appearance during the rounds. We’re going through all the second-year rooms anyway…”
“My old classmates are split across different courses, so I don’t even know which room they’re in… It’ll be fun to see where we run into each other.”
“Ours has a few too, right?”
“Probably. Unless someone’s aiming for a super difficult national university, there’s not much point forcing yourself into the special advanced course.”
By the way, I only learned what Nishikawa-san meant after I started seriously thinking about university myself…
In this school, the special advanced course doesn’t qualify for designated school recommendations.
Actually, a lot of private high schools don’t give designated recommendations to students in super-advanced tracks like that. So it’s not particularly unusual.
The reason is simple: it’s tied to the school’s overall university admission rate. Unless you’re seriously aiming for a top national university, there’s basically no advantage to choosing the special course.
Well, since I’m not aiming for it anyway, it doesn’t really concern me.
“Alright then, Kazunari-san. Shall we head to the next classroom?”
“Yes. Let’s go—”
Ping pong paaan pooon
Just as I was about to thank the senpai, the classroom speakers began playing the familiar chime for announcements.
When they bother using the “announcement” format, it usually means either trouble or something important…
Sara must have thought the same; her expression tightened as she turned toward the speaker.
“Yahhooo~~~ Everyone’s idol, Minamin here~!! Are you all having fun at Rinka Festival~!?”
“Having fuuuun!!” came the filthy, guttural roar of guys somewhere in the distance.
I have no idea where it came from, but why did my mind immediately go there…? I hate myself sometimes.
“So here’s your business announcement~. Following this morning’s incident, yet another group of boys has been reported running wildly… and I mean literally running… through the halls~. We’re also getting reports of disturbances popping up all over. But hey, the broadcasting club isn’t your complaint desk, okay~?”
Hearing Minamin’s report, I could more or less guess…
No, no. I have absolutely no idea what she’s talking about.
Strange things happen, huh.
“So here’s the real topic~”
Real topic?
There’s more…?
“To the insanely lovey-dovey super couple on the third floor of the classroom building!!! Your influence is way too strong, so I’ve been telling you to rein it in, haven’t I!!!! Knock it off already, you idiots!!!!”
Keeeeen…
A piercing feedback squeal burst from the speakers, followed by language so vulgar it didn’t suit Minamin at all.
She really ought to watch her wording.
But… third floor of the classroom building… what a coincidence, yep.
“…That’s all from Minamin~”
Ping pong paaan pooon
“…………”
The mysterious announcement ended.
At the same time, I suddenly felt an overwhelming wave of stares from every direction.
While a terrible premonition crept over me, I discreetly glanced around…
Why is everyone looking at us?
“Honestly… we’re going to have to speak to Minamin-san again about her language. And that announcement was far too vague.”
“…Y-yeah, you’re right.”
Vague…? No, that’s not the part that needs commenting on.
While fervently agreeing with Sara, I scanned the room once more.
Everyone was staring at us with cold, dead eyes.
No helping it.
In my heart, I quietly apologized.
Sorry… as always…
***
This time I changed plans a bit and inserted a scene with friends/parents and a little bonus(?).
I was originally planning to move straight to the next classroom…
But God told me, “Write that too.”
Strange things really do happen (lol).
On another note, starting from this chapter, I’ll be using the afterword space to provide supplementary information that should have been explained earlier.
Because somehow we’ve reached 300+ chapters without properly explaining a lot of things that really ought to have been covered.
Ideally I should rewrite and insert those descriptions into the main story. But right now I don’t have the leeway, so I’m adding them here in supplementary form for the time being.
I know it’s a bit of a cheat, but please bear with me.
First, about the school: please just accept it as “that kind of school” for now. It’s still not fully fleshed out, so if anything feels unrealistic, feel free to overlook it.
Private Rinka Academy High School.
Most of the funding comes from Sanami.
The academic level is fairly high, and there are many designated school recommendations available.
It has an affiliated middle school, making it a so-called “six-year integrated” system, though the buildings are separate—just in the same city.
Sara entered from middle school and has been on the special scholarship track ever since.
Because it’s an escalator system, most students advance automatically. So even kids who went delinquent in middle school can usually move up unless it was really extreme.
There are also sports recommendation students and others who didn’t enter via exams…
The guys who caused trouble for Kazunari and Sara early on were mostly from that group.
Kazunari himself was reasonably serious back in middle school, so his internal evaluations and grades were never bad.
After entering third year and becoming isolated, he started studying obsessively with the goal of escaping to a school outside the prefecture. That’s why his grades improved even further.
That background is how he was able to aim for a relatively high-level school like Rinka.
The main reason Kazunari targeted Rinka was that it was in the area where his aunt lived.
The second reason was that historically, the entrance exam competition ratio drops for high-school entrants (since most spots are taken by escalator students).
The last was to convince his parents that attending would give him many advantages for future university admission.
In reality, though, he wasn’t thinking deeply about his future path at the time (see the conversation about future plans at the Satsukawa house).
Students like Kazunari who entered via general exam are mixed into classes with escalator students. However, to catch up on curriculum they missed, certain subjects are taught in separate rooms.
One of the reasons Kazunari couldn’t fit into the class was precisely that system.
His initial drop in grades was also largely due to falling behind in lessons.
Thanks to Sara’s daily tutoring, that’s been mostly resolved now.
By the way, starting in second year the school splits into courses: the special advanced course (literature/science) for students aiming at top national universities, and the standard college-prep course (literature/science) for difficult private or public universities (plus others).
Sara is currently in the college-prep literature course—not the special advanced one—because before meeting Kazunari, she had already decided she didn’t need to aim for a top national university.
She chose the safe route of attending a solid local private university (one of the more difficult ones).
The fact that both her parents are alumni was another factor.
So that’s the rough outline of the school.
There may be some unnatural parts, but please think of it as “that’s just how this school is.”
Next, rough profiles for the main cast.
The numerical values have fluctuated a bit since I answered some comments earlier—please forgive the inconsistencies.
Takanashi Kazunari
Height: 169 cm
Build: Average
Hair: Short, neat 7:3 part that fully exposes the ears
Completely ordinary appearance with no standout features. He’s even been mocked for it by some people, so he’s probably not on the upper end of the scale.
No particular fashion preferences. Hobbies are average—games and manga at a normal level.
Currently known talent: ring toss.
Not bad at studying; grades have risen to slightly above average thanks to Sara.
Having looked after Yuzuha for so long, he’s naturally considerate toward others.
He thinks it’s normal to speak up when someone’s in trouble, return lost wallets to the police, etc.
On the flip side, because of his past, his self-evaluation is extremely low.
But when it comes to anything involving Sara, he has zero hesitation and complete confidence.
He still hasn’t realized that marrying Sara would mean he eventually becomes Masaomi’s successor, or what that truly entails.
Right now most of his focus is on dating Sara, and the scale is too large for him to even imagine. The current president isn’t Masaomi, so he has no mental image of it… etc.
Sara Satsukawa
Height: 158 cm
Build: On the slim side
Hair: Straight long hair reaching just above the waist
Called a traditional Japanese beauty / Yamato Nadeshiko (both modern compliments). She has a calm, refined aura, perfectly proportioned features, and glossy black hair that naturally draws eyes.
Looks more mature than her age; in plain clothes she doesn’t look like a high-schooler at all.
Dresses in a way that hides her figure (she’s a “clothes make you look thinner” type).
So the fact that certain parts are actually larger than most guys imagine remains surprisingly unknown.
She hates drawing male attention, so she almost always wears long skirts in casual wear.
Never wears anything above the knee.
Hobby: cooking. Skilled at all household chores. Loves cute things, especially cats.
Special ability: can somewhat sense what Kazunari is thinking/feeling (not perfectly).
Always at the top academically. Good athletic ability too.
However, she usually keeps herself restrained—only goes all-out when it involves Kazunari. Her true physical potential is therefore unknown.
The oddly polite speech she uses only with Kazunari came from not knowing how to talk to the first boy she ever wanted to get close to.
She agonized over not wanting to be rude, and this was the result.
She was already somewhat formal to begin with, so it stuck and became natural.
She’s unaware of it herself.
Yuzuki Natsumi
Height: 166 cm
Build: Slim
Hair: Short, boyish
Cool, stylish beauty with a slightly androgynous vibe.
Slim build overall thanks to tennis—including in certain areas.
…Apparently growing very slowly (her own words).
Frank, refreshing personality. Good with people and very caring. Popular with both genders, though especially with girls.
Prefers practical, easy-to-move-in clothing—complete opposite of Sara.
Also quite intelligent; ranks high even within the same college-prep course as Sara.
She sometimes envies Sara’s “girl power,” so she’s secretly studying cooking and occasionally shows gap-moe behavior toward Yuuji. In reality she has quite a few girlish sides.
Hanasaki Riko
Height: 143 cm
Build: Small (in every way)
Hair: Classic straight twin-tails (no waves)
Alias: Hanako-san.
Adopted a chuunibyou-style persona and “sealed” her past self, hence the fake name.
In truth, she originally saw her connection with Kazunari’s group as purely transactional and temporary, so she hid her real name for that reason too.
Has a complex about her height and other aspects barely growing since elementary school.
Believes she’s a “late bloomer”… though genetics might say otherwise.
Doesn’t smile and speaks bluntly, so people tend to think she’s hard to get along with.
Despite her childish appearance she has a unique cuteness, and is even more wildly popular than Sara among certain “mature” fans.
Hobby: reading. Occasionally slips into chuuni speech/behavior.
Has the same special ability as Sara (if Sara is 10, she’s about 7).
Prefers frilly, cute clothing—seems to understand her own appearance quite well.
Grades are top of the year despite how she looks; mental age is surprisingly high.
Secretly wants to attend a big summer or winter festival at least once.
That’s all for this time.
I plan to gradually add profiles for the other main characters in future afterwords.
See you next time~.
P.S. When Sara carries Kazunari in her arms, she pulls his head close, so he naturally ends up leaning forward.





































