Lonely Me And The Lonely Caring Goddess - Chapter 266: Fate and Possibility.

Fate and Possibility.

Afternoon Break – Relaxed Tea Time.

Lunch was over, and we were all sprawled lazily on the sheet, sipping juice boxes and letting the breeze do the rest.

“So, Takanashi-kun,” Natsumi-senpai said, squinting at me. “What exactly did you come to our classroom for earlier?”

“Uh… well…”

I’d had a feeling this was coming.

How was I supposed to answer that?

The only honest reply was, “Because I desperately needed to see Sara-san,” but saying it out loud would earn me another round of white-hot stares.

“Summer-sea,” Sara-san cut in gently, “that’s something I should hear from Kazunari-san himself. Now then, Kazunari-san… shall we continue where we left off?”

Here it comes.

Sara-san gazed straight into my eyes, cheeks faintly pink, lips curved in a delighted smile.

She opened her arms wide, palms up, waiting for me with the same posture of someone who had been looking forward to this exact moment all day.

Exactly as promised during break: she was going to hold me, right here, right now.

“…Dear wife, what are you doing?”

“Eeeeh!? You’re seriously doing this!?”

“W-What’s going on…?”

Natsumi-senpai, who knew the whole story, let out a blatantly disgusted groan.

The rest of the group just tilted their heads in innocent confusion.

I couldn’t blame them; nobody had warned them.

I was the one who’d asked for this, and deep down I wanted nothing more than to let myself be spoiled rotten.

But there was one huge problem: we weren’t at home. We were at school, surrounded by friends.

If this were our living room, I’d have dove in without a second thought.

Here, though… jumping into her arms felt a little… impossible.

“Fufu… very well. Then allow me.”

Softly…

I hadn’t said a word, yet Sara-san bowed slightly as though I’d accepted.

She leaned in slowly, wrapped her arms around my back, and drew me into the gentlest, firmest embrace: just tight enough to feel secure, never enough to hurt.

Then she placed a hand on the back of my head and guided me forward.

Naturally, my face settled into its reserved spot.

Stroke… stroke…

Once I was perfectly nestled against her, she began stroking my hair.

Haaa… bliss.

“Whenever I hold you like this, I feel so calm,” she whispered. “If you’d let me, I’d do it every single day at school, too.”

“Sara-san…”

I feel the same way.

If she really did this every day, I’d be over the moon.

But Natsumi-senpai would explode, and Hanako-san would probably demand equal treatment.

Stroke… stroke…

While my mind wandered, Sara-san kept petting my head and rubbing slow circles on my back.

Her warmth seeped straight into my core, melting every ounce of tension away.

Being in public, looking uncool, seeming pathetic: every excuse shrank smaller and smaller.

All that remained was the overwhelming joy of being held by her, the unbearable happiness of it all, until I…

“Fufu… such a good boy. Come closer.”

She noticed I’d finally surrendered.

Her voice brushed my ear like silk as she pulled me even tighter.

My already limp body lost the last of its strength and collapsed completely against her.

Now it wasn’t just a hug; I was literally being cradled.

Stroke…

“…Sara-san.”

“Kazunari-san, you’re adorable♪”

“…I can’t believe you’re doing this right in front of us.”

“…I knew the wife only has eyes for Kazunari, but she’s on another level today. It’s getting dangerous.”

“D-Dangerous, you say?”

“You can tell just by looking at her face.”

“Ahaha… she really does look incredibly happy…”

This is bad.

Not afternoon classes bad, but I’m-about-to-turn-into-a-puddle bad.

Sara-san is spoiling me so thoroughly that I’m in real danger of forgetting how to function.

I want to stay like this forever…

No.

I have to at least apologize properly.

Just once. Just one sentence.

I don’t care if it’s embarrassing or pathetic.

Everything I did today came from loving her so much it hurt.

There’s no shame in that.

“Sara-san… about break time—”

“Yes?”

I forced my melting resolve to solidify and pushed the words out.

“I need to apologize first.”

“But you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Stroke… stroke…

Even while we spoke, her hand never stopped its gentle rhythm, soft, soft, impossibly tender.

“I barged into your classroom. That wasn’t my intention at all…”

“So you came because you needed something from me, right?”

“Yes. But it wasn’t really ‘business’… I just wanted to see you for a second and then leave.”

I wasn’t going to hide behind excuses like “force majeure.”

She’d given me this chance to speak, so I’d tell her how I truly felt, at least the parts I could say out loud.

Everyone else exchanged glances.

“…So what exactly did he do?”

“…Pretty much exactly what’s happening right now.”

“Ah… in the classroom… yeah, that’s insane.”

“Y-Yeah… insane…”

“I’m sorry… I can’t tell you the exact trigger. But seeing it made me imagine a world where we never became lovers, where I lost you. I got scared. And at the same time, I realized all over again how impossibly lucky I am that we’re together… so I couldn’t bear it anymore and ran to your classroom—”

Chu…

!

I never finished the sentence.

Sara-san pulled back just enough to bring her face close: then sealed my lips with a kiss.

“…Wha—!?”

“I knew it.”

“R-Right here!?”

“K-Kyaah, they’re kissing in broad daylight!?”

“Mnn…”

A moment? Five seconds? Ten?

Time lost all meaning.

She drew away slowly, reluctantly.

“…Fufu.”

Even after the kiss ended, she stayed close enough that our foreheads almost touched, gazing into my eyes.

Heat flooded my face; I could feel myself turning scarlet.

Smiling at my reaction, she guided my head back to its rightful place against her chest.

Stroke… stroke…

“I am certain meeting you was fate. But if we speak only of possibilities… yes, a single wrong button could have kept us apart. Even then, though, we would have found each other. I would have searched the entire world until I did. And I would have fallen in love with you all over again.”

“I feel the same. I’d find you no matter what. But that’s not what I wanted to say.

The point is: in this reality, I met you. We fell in love. We’re together. Calling it fate feels too easy now. Seeing those other possibilities made me understand all over again how precious, how irreplaceable you are. That’s why I couldn’t wait another second—”

Squeeze.

Her arms tightened: not painfully, but stronger than I could ever remember.

“I heard every word, Kazunari-san. All I feel right now is joy. So please… don’t apologize.”

She didn’t loosen her hold an inch, voice impossibly gentle.

I already knew she wasn’t bothered in the slightest.

I knew apologizing would only trouble her.

But this was about my own pride.

“I knew you’d say that. Still… I showed up at your classroom—”

“I told you I would hold you anytime, anywhere. Classroom or here, it makes no difference. I hugged you because I wanted to. I kissed you because I wanted to. Everything was my choice. You have nothing to feel guilty about.”

Of course I understand.

If our positions were reversed, I’d say exactly the same thing.

Which means dragging it out further would only hurt her.

“Thank you. I knew apologizing would just worry you, but still—”

“Then let us end it here.”

I’d managed to say everything I needed.

That was enough closure for me.

Which also meant… the hugging session was about to end.

A little sad, but…

Stroke… stroke…

…Um.

“Sara-san? I’m done talking, so…”

“Yes, I know♪”

“Then…”

Yes, the conversation is over, but she shows absolutely no sign of letting go.

I’m happy: really happy, but if we keep going without a reason, I’m just being spoiled for no purpose…

“…It’s your fault, Kazunari-san.”

“Eh?”

Her voice was half pout, half ache.

She squeezed even tighter.

“I’m so happy… so happy you feel this way about me… my heart is overflowing. When I’m like this, I can’t possibly let you go. So it’s all your fault, okay?”

“But—”

Her embrace was stronger than usual; she must be feeling it too.

And honestly? I don’t want to separate either.

Call me spoiled, call me weak; I want to stay like this a second longer, a minute longer, forever.

“Kazunari-san… I adore you… I love you… only you…”

“Sara… san…”

“Call me Sara… my love.”

The arms around me grew tighter still.

My own feelings surged in answer.

I really am—

“W-Wait wait wait!! Something’s getting seriously dangerous here!?”

“I told you it was dangerous.”

“This isn’t the time to be calm!”

“Wawawawawa what’s going to happen!?”

“ENOUGH ALREADY!! HOW LONG ARE YOU TWO GOING TO FLIRT!?”

!!!

Natsumi-senpai’s half-panicked, half-furious shout stabbed through the haze and yanked me back to reality.

That was close… I have no idea what exactly was close, but something definitely was.

We’d completely forgotten everyone else existed.

“I-I’m so sorry… I got carried away because I was too happy…”

Sara-san apologized, cheeks flushed: but to me, not to them.

Looks like both of us had almost lost control.

“No, I got carried away too…”

Now that my head had cooled, the full weight of what just happened crashed over me.

We really overdid it this time.

Sorry, everyone…

“We stayed quiet because it seemed serious, but you’re just flirting now. You’re making the rest of us uncomfortable: cut it out.”

“I kinda get how she feels this time, but it’s frustrating, so still no. Separate.”

Yeah, we deserve the scolding.

I never expected my feelings for her to flare up that much.

Maybe we should’ve saved this talk for home…

Anyway, time to ask her to let go.

“Sara-san, it’s about time—”

“Yes… though I don’t want to.”

She slowly, reluctantly loosened her arms.

The faintly sad look on her face as we parted made my heart skip again.

Once we were properly separated, I finally looked around.

Natsumi-senpai and Hanako-san were staring in open exasperation.

Hayato wore an awkward grin.

And Toudou-san…

“Auuu… haauuu…”

She was crimson to the tips of her ears, hands over her face but fingers spread wide in the classic “I’m-looking-through-my-fingers” pose.

“D-Did you two forget we exist!?”

“S-Sorry…”

We really went too far this time. A sincere apology was in order.

“I’m sorry too. I’ll reflect on my actions,” Sara-san added meekly.

“Well, it’s partly my fault for egging him on, so I’ll let it slide,” Hanako-san surprisingly came to our rescue.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’m the one who told him to go to his wife.”

“Now I’m curious what happened…”

“Nothing huge. I’ll tell you some other time. If I explain now, these two will probably start round two.”

I wanted to protest that we’re fine now, but I currently have zero credibility.

Sara-san bowed again. “I truly am sorry… I was simply too happy and…”

Hanako-san sighed. “Just do that stuff at home where it’s only the two of you. Nobody will complain there, and you can continue what you started.”

Logical, but remembering what almost happened at home sends a different kind of shiver down my spine.

If we did that every night, even my iron (self-proclaimed) willpower might crack.

Please don’t talk about continuations…

“You’re right. Kazunari-san, let’s be very, very close again tonight until you fall asleep, okay?”

“Y-Yes…”

Looks like another fierce battle awaits me tonight… a solitary war of manhood.

“…Uuu, just listening is embarrassing…”

Ah, crap.

I need to apologize to Toudou-san separately later. Sorry, Toudou-san…

***

Night. The usual futon, the usual position: curled up together under the same blanket, my head resting against Sara-san’s chest.

“Are you cold, Kazunari-san?”

“I’m fine. You’re really warm.”

Today felt like I spent the entire day being held by her… and honestly, I probably did.

I was spoiled more than usual, and while it was pure heaven, I do feel a little bad about it.

“Sara-san, about tomorrow’s cooking class—”

I needed to say this before I melted again.

“Yes?”

“I want you to treat me exactly like everyone else in class. Teach me properly.”

I don’t expect her to actually manage it, but I want to learn at least try.

I can’t participate in most of the class’s festival prep, so I can’t slack off on the one thing I can do.

“…Understood. I’m not confident I can, but I will never ignore your resolve. I’ll do my best.”

She accepted without even asking why: as always, she sees right through me.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. But even if you learn to cook…”

“I know. All home cooking stays yours forever.”

“Then I have no complaints.”

That’s her unbreakable rule, and I’m not going to fight it.

Someday, maybe, but only if it wouldn’t make her sad.

***

Stroke… stroke…

“Kazunari-san… thank you so much for today. I was truly happy.”

If anyone should be thanking, it’s me.

And apologizing, too.

But before I could open my mouth:

“Kazunari-san, bad boy.”

Squeeze.

“Mmgph!”

I almost apologized again.

Of course she wasn’t seriously angry; still, she silenced me with the ultimate technique.

“S-Sowwy…”

“Kyahn, t-that tickles…”

I spoke while still pressed against her; bad move.

“Ahem… We promised no more apologizing about lunch, remember?”

Nod nod.

Talking is dangerous right now, so I just nodded.

“Then promise you won’t do it again? Next time there’ll be punishment♪”

Nod nod.

I’m dying to know what “punishment” means, but I can’t make her sad.

I’ll stop apologizing about today. Promise.

“Good boy. I’m sorry, was it hard to breathe?”

She loosened her hold so I could pull away… but I didn’t move.

“Kazunari-san?”

“Fufu… you’ve turned into such a spoiled little boy♪”

Squeeze.

She hugged me again, this time pressing my head firmly but lovingly into place.

“Shall we fall asleep just like this tonight?”

“Sara-san…”

“Tell me if it gets hard to breathe, okay?”

“It’s perfect.”

She adjusted the pressure to the exact sweet spot where I could stay forever.

Stroke… stroke…

Pat… pat… pat…

The steady rhythm on my back, the gentle strokes through my hair.

Whenever she does this, comfort and security flood me until I can’t keep my eyes open.

She knows it, so this is always how she lulls me to sleep.

“Let’s do our best tomorrow, Kazunari-san.”

“…Yes…yes… I’ll… do my best…”

Stroke… stroke…

Pat… pat… pat…

“…Sara… san…”

Sleep rushed in like a warm tide.

“Good night, Kazunari-san. Sweet dreams…”

Chu…

Something soft brushed my forehead.

I think… it was a kiss goodnight.

But before I could confirm…

I was already drifting into the happiest dream, cradled in the arms of the person I love most in every world that exists.