Lonely Me And The Lonely Caring Goddess - Chapter 262: Being the Object of Someone’s Affection.

Being the Object of Someone’s Affection.

Yamakawa’s face as he looked at us carried an atmosphere I’d never seen on him before.

Of course, the reason was obvious: he was finally about to have “that talk.”

But… the timing could not possibly be any worse.

Hanako-san’s mood was visibly sour because of the idiots still making a scene right in front of her. If Yamakawa—who she currently lumped in the same category—was to approach her now, anyone could guess how it would end.

“…What?”

“Um… well…”

“I believe I’ve told you before—if you have no business with me, stop talking to me every single time.”

That was harsh.

Hanako-san’s tone made it clear she wanted nothing to do with him; she was pushing him away with outright rejection.

No—this was already rejection in its purest form.

“N-no, I do have business!! It’s something serious!! We don’t have time right now, so please, just give me the next break!!”

Faced with colder treatment than usual, Yamakawa rattled off his request in a panicked rush.

I’d seen Hanako-san treat him negatively plenty of times, but I don’t think I’d ever seen her this severe.

“Can’t you say it right here, right now?”

“I-I’d prefer… just the two of us…”

At this point, even the densest person on earth would realise he was essentially announcing, “I’m about to confess.”

Yet Hanako-san already knew how he felt, so she offered no reaction. She merely glanced at him with eyes grown even colder and let out a small, weary sigh.

“Let me say this clearly: I have zero interest in any man besides Kazunari. And I have zero intention of ever speaking one-on-one with any man besides Kazunari.”

The words were a man never wants to hear, delivered without a shred of mercy.

Even for someone as irrepressibly optimistic as Yamakawa, hearing that made it impossible not to understand there was no chance at all.

And the fact that I was the comparison point had to sting in a complicated way.

Hanako-san had no romantic feelings for no one—not even me—yet she still clung to me alone.

“…I know all of that. Even so, I still want to talk to you.”

This is rough…

From what he told me on Sunday, Yamakawa already understood he had no chance and exactly what kind of answer he’d receive.

Yet here he was, pleading to speak anyway—either planning to confess knowing he’d be shot down, or to apologise for what he’d realised on Sunday, or perhaps both.

“…Fine. I’ll hear you out.”

“Eh!? R-really!?”

It wasn’t just Yamakawa who was shocked; I was too.

Considering Hanako-san’s current mood, I’d half-expected her to end it right then and there.

“There’s no deep reason. I’m simply returning the favour from earlier.”

Favour…?

What does she mean?

As far as I’d seen, Hanako-san hadn’t even participated in the earlier conversation. She shouldn’t have any connection with Yamakawa today, let alone a debt.

If anything, I was the one who owed her for stepping in between me and the guys…

Don’t tell me…

“Hanako-san, that’s—”

“Don’t worry about it, Kazunari. Just let your Onee-chan act a little like a proper big sister, okay?”

So my guess was right.

She was trying to repay Yamakawa on my behalf.

Whether that was her only reason or not, that was at least the direct one.

Of course I’m happy she cares about me that much—how could I not be?

But at the same time, I absolutely hate the idea of causing her trouble because of my own problems.

Even so…

Stroke… stroke…

Hanako-san reached up and gently ran her hand through my hair two, three times, slow and tender.

She smiled softly, gazing at me with eyes far kinder than moments ago.

That expression alone stole every protest from my tongue.

Her gentle gaze refused to let me say another word.

“Takanashi…”

Yamakawa watched us with a complicated look.

He murmured my name—whether calling me or simply thinking aloud, I couldn’t tell.

“Could you… come with us too?”

“…Got it.”

Are you sure?

The question almost left my lips, but I swallowed it.

Considering Yamakawa’s resolve, there was only one reason he’d want me there. Asking would just be tactless.

Besides, if Hanako-san was doing this for my sake, I couldn’t possibly stand by in silence. I wouldn’t interfere unnecessarily, but if anything went wrong I’d step in immediately.

“Thanks, man! See you both next break, then!”

Forcing unnatural cheer, Yamakawa returned to his seat.

I hope… at least he can find some kind of closure he’s satisfied with.

…

……

………

Morning homeroom.

“Tomorrow after school is the cooking class. Unless you have a special reason, everyone is required to attend.”

The announcement I’d delegated to the class rep concerned tomorrow’s long-awaited cooking class.

Originally only the cooking teams were going to participate, but thanks to popular demand it had been changed to full-class participation—though that decision was made before Saturday’s chaos.

Now there was real concern about whether the boys would actually show up.

“What’re you gonna do?”

“I’m going, obviously. That’s a separate issue.”

“Exactly. A cooking class with Satsukawa-senpai is a once-in-a-lifetime!”

“I already bragged to guys in other classes. They were crying tears of blood lol.”

“But… she’s marrying Takanashi, right?”

“““DON’T REMIND US!!!”””

“Are they idiots or just tough as nails…?”

“Idiots, duh.”

“But it really is a rare event! It’s Satsukawa-senpai we’re talking about!”

“We seriously owe Takanashi big time.”

Looks like the boys’ enthusiasm hadn’t dimmed in the slightest.

That’s good, I guess… but their reasoning still bothers me.

Kawamura’s theory—“they’ve given up romantically but can’t abandon their idol worship”—seems to have been spot-on.

If that’s the case, does it mean the risk of anyone hitting on Sara has more or less disappeared?

If so, I suppose that’s the best we can hope for…

…

……

………

End of first period—break time.

We didn’t have much time, so the three of us headed straight for the usual landing on the stairs.

The upper floor is mostly unused classrooms after school, so during the day it’s practically deserted—a perfect hidden spot.

“Thanks for coming, both of you.”

“…We don’t have long. Talk.”

The moment we arrived, Hanako-san urged him to get on with it.

She wasn’t nervous; she simply wanted this over quickly.

“…Got it. First, I want to apologise for everything up till now.”

“…Huh?”

Hanako-san blinked in genuine surprise.

She clearly hadn’t expected an apology right out of the gate. If I hadn’t heard Sunday’s conversation, I’d probably have reacted the same way.

Which means her initial assessment wasn’t wrong.

“Until now I only ever thought about myself. You probably already realise, but I fell for you, Hanasaki-san—love at first sight, dead serious. I was desperate to get closer to you. I never thought I was bothering you. I couldn’t think it. So… I’m sorry.”

There it was—the heart of the matter.

Confession and apology. For Yamakawa, both were his way of settling things.

But judging by his demeanour, the apology was the main focus. There wasn’t a trace of embarrassment—only sincere remorse.

“…I see. I don’t know what made you change your mind so suddenly, but simply realising that already makes you better than those other idiots.”

Perhaps because he’d placed more weight on the apology, Hanako-san’s tone softened a little.

Only a little—she was still far from friendly, but at least back to her usual level of frost.

“I really do feel terrible. But honestly… I never imagined you’d hate it that much.”

“…Let me be perfectly clear while we’re at it. I despise love at first sight. It’s nothing more than judging someone by appearance alone. You never even try to see the person inside. And then having the nerve to pursue them anyway? It’s so shallow it’s not worth my time.”

Even if he’d prepared himself, having it spelled out so brutally by the girl herself had to be orders of magnitude more painful than hearing it second-hand.

Hanako-san spat the words like they were something foul, her icy gaze stabbing straight into him with an unspoken “that includes you.”

“…Y-yeah… you’re right. I won’t make excuses—I did fall for your looks first.”

It must have hurt, because Yamakawa still flinched.

“…But I wanted to get to know you, Hanasaki-san. I wanted you to let me in. That’s why I was so desperate. And… I panicked because you were only close with Takanashi.”

“Now that you mention it, you were so obvious it was almost made me cringe, but you never actually said it to my face.”

True—thinking back, I’d seen him try desperately plenty of times, but I don’t think he ever put it into direct words.

“I never planned to confess out of nowhere without knowing anything about you. I wanted to become friends first, then… properly. Yeah, it started with your looks, but I honestly believe love that begins that way can still be serious.”

Normally, I’d say he has a point.

Starting with attraction to appearance and then building a real relationship before confessing isn’t shallow at all.

But in reality, Yamakawa had skipped every step. And with Hanako-san, that mistake was irreversible.

“I see…”

What did she think hearing that…?

Did it make her waver even slightly, like it would have me…?

Instead of shutting him down outright, Hanako-san closed her eyes for a moment, as if thinking.

“I’ll say it again—I wanted to become proper friends with you first, then confess. But I couldn’t get close, and I ended up doing things that made you hate me. I’m sorry for that.”

He bowed deeply.

Hanako-san remained lost in thought, but the sharp hostility in the air had definitely faded.

“…Fine. I accept your apology. I also overreacted at times.”

So something in his words had reached her.

Even if the core issue remained something she despised, she’d found a part she could accept calmly.

She wasn’t rejecting everything wholesale anymore; there was a new flexibility in her heart.

A small but undeniable sign that Hanako-san was growing, too.

“Thanks! Then… this is the last thing.”

The confession, most likely.

He sounded relieved, his tone returning to its usual lightness, but his face still betrayed tension.

“Hanasaki-san… from the very first day we met, I’ve liked you. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I know you hate love at first sight, but I’m confident I can take this seriously enough to overcome that. If being your boyfriend right away is impossible, then… at least let us be friends with that possibility in mind. Please!”

He bowed low and extended his hand straight toward her.

All that was left was Hanako-san’s answer.

And yet… even though this had nothing to do with me… why was my heart pounding this hard?

Because it’s Hanako-san?

Because it’s my friend?

No—that should have been the same when Yūji and Natsumi-senpai confessed.

So what’s different?

What is this tension—this impatience—boiling inside me?

I don’t understand myself at all.

Hanako-san met Yamakawa’s gaze head-on.

Her expression hadn’t changed. Still the same cool, almost emotionless mask she always wore.

That, in itself, was the answer.

“I’ll answer first. I’m sorry. I can’t go out with you. I can’t see you that way, and… somewhere inside, I still feel uncomfortable. So it will remain impossible.”

Classic Hanako-san—direct, merciless, and final.

I’d known this was coming, so I wasn’t surprised.

And yet…

An indescribable unease gnawed at me.

What’s wrong with me…?

“Yeah… I knew it. I knew, but… guess it really is impossible, huh…”

Yamakawa had known too.

He’d prepared himself, and yet hearing it directly still hit like a sledgehammer.

He wasn’t crying, but the sadness on his face was plain.

“Hey… just hypothetically, okay? If… if I were even a little better than Takanashi—”

“Impossible. Kazunari is irreplaceable to me—someone absolutely special. No one, no matter who, could ever surpass him. Not even stand equal.”

“Ah…”

She cut him off instantly, mercilessly.

He probably hadn’t seriously meant the question, but the moment my name left his lips, Hanako-san shot it down with even greater certainty.

“In the first place, comparing you to Kazunari is meaningless. He’s my little brother, not a romantic partner. Even if someone surpassed him, even if they stood beside him, they still couldn’t become my lover.”

That cleared one thing up, at least.

She truly, clearly saw me only as a little brother—nothing more.

Not the time to think about it, but… knowing that let me relax a little about our relationship.

“…But at the very least, if someone isn’t on Kazunari’s level, it’s hopeless.”

Ouch.

Well, I agree—if anyone’s going to be with Hanako-san, they’d better be at least my equal or above.

Not that I think Yamakawa is below me or anything. That’s for her to decide.

“I see…”

In the end, it was total, utter rejection.

Yamakawa looked completely deflated, but this wasn’t something I could butt into.

“But… thank you.”

Suddenly, Hanako-san smiled—small, but genuine.

She had never once smiled at Yamakawa before, so the sight left him stunned and entranced.

“…Hanasaki-san?”

“No one’s ever confessed to me before. No one’s ever told me they liked me. But… it made me happy. I really felt happy.”

So that’s it…

This was her first real confession.

I’m close to her, of course, but I’ve certainly never said “I love you” in the romantic sense.

Friendship “like,” yes—romantic “love,” never.

So this was the first time anyone had ever said those words to her.

The first time someone had harboured romantic feelings for her.

And for the first time, she felt genuinely happy about it.

“That’s why—thank you. Thank you for liking me. And… I’m sorry. I can’t go out with you, Yamakawa-kun. I just can’t see you that way.”

She called him “Yamakawa-kun.”

Maybe it was part of the thanks, but the change alone was shocking.

There still wasn’t much warmth in her voice, but compared to before it was night and day.

If this had happened when they first met, maybe… just maybe the outcome could have been different.

But with this, Hanako-san had given her final, crystal-clear answer: “At best, friends.”

Nothing more was possible.

Yamakawa clearly understood that too.

His face looked like he might burst into tears at any second.

And watching him…

That “something” I’d been feeling swelled even stronger.

I don’t understand it, but a wave of negative emotion—almost painful—crashed over me.

The indescribable “something” from earlier had grown unmistakable.

“I got it. Sorry for taking your time, Hanasaki-san. Hey… not trying to push my luck or anything, but… would it be okay if I at least talked to you sometimes from now on?”

“We’re classmates, so that much is fine. But don’t get any strange hopes. If you can promise that, then… normal friends is acceptable.”

“R-really!? Just that is more than enough! Then I’ll aim to be at least as close as Takanashi—”

“I already told you that’s futile. No one will ever reach him. To me, Kazunari is that kind of existence—irreplaceable and eternal.”

“Ugh… y-you’re too harsh…”

Whether he’d already bounced back or was just putting on a brave face, Yamakawa was acting like his usual self again.

Hanako-san seemed to understand and responded in her normal cool tone.

And with that, the matter was settled.

The fact that Hanako-san could now feel joy at someone’s affection was, honestly, something to celebrate.

But man… Yamakawa is strong.

He’d prepared himself, yet after being rejected so completely he was already trying to move forward, aiming at least for friendship.

If that had been me… could I have done the same?

I’ve only ever confessed to Sara. I’ve never been rejected, so I don’t know how it feels.

But if Sara had turned me down…

Ah…

I get it.

I finally understand what this “something” is.

Yamakawa right now…

is the other future that could have been me.

If I hadn’t met Sara—if we hadn’t become lovers—what would have become of me?

I just glimpsed that possibility.

It’s nothing but a “what if,” a meaningless hypothetical.

Yet the fact that Yamakawa’s single misstep led to an irreversible outcome means…

if I had taken one wrong step—if even one button had been fastened wrong—there absolutely existed a future where Sara and I never ended up like this.

I’d thought about that possibility before, but it was always abstract, unreal.

But seeing Yamakawa right now made it real.

Even though I know it’s pointless, the anxiety still hit me.

And yet, precisely because of that…

I can say it with all my heart now:

Meeting Sara was a miracle.

And it was fate.

Right now, an overwhelming rush of two contradictory emotions—fear and gratitude—swirled inside me, colliding, merging, becoming one single feeling.

That was the “something” that had been tormenting me.

That’s why…

Right now, more than anything, I want to see Sara.

I want to see her right this instant.

I want to run to her classroom immediately.

A feeling close to panic welled up in my chest, and I could feel it myself—how urgently I needed to see the person who had become my everything.