Lonely Me And The Lonely Caring Goddess - Chapter 234: The Steps to Reconciliation.

The Steps to Reconciliation.

As always, I found myself savoring another delicious dinner prepared by Sara-san, followed by a peaceful cup of tea to unwind. While enjoying our usual after-dinner routine, I was also carefully contemplating the right moment to bring up the conversation I needed to have with her today.

But just as I was working up to it, Sara-san cheerfully suggested, “Why don’t you take your bath first?”—which threw me off a little more than I expected.

It wasn’t exactly a matter of urgency, so there was no real problem… still, my momentum had been interrupted.

As for the bath, of course, we take turns like any normal couple.

There were times in the past when Sara-san had helped wash me, but ever since we started living together, we’ve stopped doing that. Not because I disliked it—but because, frankly, if something like that kept happening, I knew my self-control wouldn’t survive for long. So, I made it clear to her the other day: from now on, we’d each take care of ourselves in the bath. I didn’t explain the “self-control” part, of course.

And as for how I convinced her… well, that’s too embarrassing to remember.

…………

………

……

As always, there’s just something different about Sara-san after she comes out of the bath. Of course, I understand it’s partly because she’s freshly washed and relaxed, but even so, it makes my heart race every time.

And that—more than anything—makes me feel just a little unsteady. That’s why I try to avoid looking directly at her in those moments.

After finishing her bedtime routine, Sara-san walked over and sat right beside me with a soft plop.

I figured this might be my chance to finally start the conversation—until she beat me to it.

“Kazunari-san, what exactly did you talk about with Hanako-san today?”

“Eh? Um… She laid her head on my lap.”

I hesitated for a second, but I decided it was better to come clean before she found out some other way. If she pressed me later, I was sure I wouldn’t be able to hide it. And besides, there was a good chance Hanako-san had already told her everything.

“Yes, I heard it from Hanako-san. But I’m glad you told me yourself. Good boy, good boy.”

It was the right decision to be honest. I’m relieved I didn’t try to dodge it.

With a gentle smile, Sara-san began softly stroking my head. To an outsider, it might have looked like she was treating me like a child. But I know that’s not her intention at all.

After a while, she straightened up slightly and patted her thigh—offering me her lap once again.

In other words, she wanted to continue our conversation in the same way.

I steeled myself. Because the truth is, Sara-san’s post-bath lap pillow is… dangerous. In more ways than one. And she doesn’t hold back—at all. So the only thing I can do is muster my willpower. It’s just a lap pillow, but for some reason, it takes everything I have.

Soft…

The warmth of her skin, still lingering from the bath, and the softness of her thighs—barely veiled by her thin pajamas—hit me with near-direct intensity.

It’s deeply comforting… yet at the same time, there’s something about it that stirs a sense of unease within me.

But when I look up and see Sara-san smiling so lovingly down at me, that inner turbulence gently fades away. My heart, full of love and devotion for her, grows ever stronger. As long as I hold onto that, I’ll be alright.

Stroke, stroke…

As I calm down, I begin to sink into a blissful sense of peace. Her gentle hand stroking my head is so soothing, I feel like I could melt right then and there. Which is exactly why I had to brace myself again—because if I don’t, I’ll be too relaxed to say anything.

…

Having gathered my resolve again, I started explaining everything in order.

About Hanako-san’s past—how she created an imaginary brother to cope with emotional burdens, and how that dependency grew stronger. How the incident with Yamazaki left her deeply wounded. How, after we met, she began projecting her ideal brother onto me. And finally, how—by becoming her “older sister” today—I believe she found a form of salvation.

“Salvation… I can understand that. Before I met you, Kazunari-san, I was someone who only thought about herself. I chased validation and dressed myself in it, but deep down, I was hollow. I think, even then, I was waiting for someone who would truly see me… no—for you, Kazunari-san.”

“That makes two of us. I was waiting for you too, Sara-san.”

We may have had different experiences, but in the end, both Sara-san and I were searching for someone who would accept us just as we are. For me, that someone was Sara-san. And for her, it was me.

“So really, we were waiting for each other. We met, and we saved each other. But Hanako-san… Hanako-san didn’t have someone real. The brother who was supposed to save her was only imaginary.”

“And then you appeared—someone who resembled that imaginary brother. She had been waiting for someone like you all along… and today, she was finally saved.”

“If that’s true, then I’m happy. As her friend, I truly am.”

Sara-san seemed to fully understand, even the more abstract parts of my explanation. Perhaps that’s partly because she had already heard from Hanako-san directly.

“Please don’t be so modest. You saved Hanako-san, Kazunari-san. I could hear it clearly, even over the phone. Her voice said it all. So… thank you. Truly. You did a wonderful job.”

And with that, my explanation was complete.

Sara-san looked at me with a deeply satisfied smile. She must have felt that everything finally made sense now—that Hanako-san’s account and mine had fit together like puzzle pieces.

“I’m glad everything turned out well. But… if I’m being completely honest, I was a little worried. I feared Hanako-san might come to see you as more than a friend—as a man.”

“I told her plainly. If we couldn’t agree that our bond would be strictly sibling-like, I couldn’t continue. I didn’t want to cause you any pain, Sara-san.”

“Fufu… thank you. Sigh… Now I can finally relax.”

She didn’t show it on the surface, but I could tell Sara-san had been anxious. That’s why I made it a point to set clear boundaries with Hanako-san. I told her that I would continue to treat Sara-san exactly as I always have—because above all else, Sara-san is the most important person in my life.

“So, what will happen going forward? Will you two continue the sibling dynamic to some degree?”

“No. I made it clear to Hanako-san that I can only see her as a close friend. Although… it seems she still wants to act like a big sister from time to time.”

Truthfully, I wasn’t sure how we’d handle that dynamic. I did tell Hanako-san she could do as she liked, but I also promised Sara-san that I wouldn’t do anything that would make her uncomfortable.

Come to think of it, I hadn’t told Sara-san about the “nickname” part yet…

“Ah, right. Hanako-san did ask me—just occasionally—to call her ‘Onee-chan.’ So I agreed to that one thing.”

“…Excuse me?”

“Hm?”

Sara-san froze in place, still smiling. That was… unsettling. I thought my explanation had matched what Hanako-san told her.

“Did you say… Onee-chan?”

“Y-Yeah. She just asked that I call her that from time to time, and I…”

“!!??”

Something’s off. I swear I saw a shadow behind Sara-san’s smiling face… like that same ominous aura Nishikawa-san used to give off. She was still smiling—but the pressure was intense.

“Wait… Hanako-san didn’t tell you that part?”

“She did not. She never mentioned anything about being called… Onee-chan.”

Apparently, Hanako-san had forgotten to mention the most crucial detail.

Watching Sara-san’s reaction now, I was hit with a powerful sense of déjà vu.

It reminded me of the time I used to call her “senpai” and she got jealous when I used that title for Natsumi-senpai. I had to start calling her “Sara-san-senpai” just to smooth things over.

Isn’t this the exact same situation?

“So… you’re going to call her Onee-chan?”

“Uh, well…”

“You’re really going to call Hanako-san Onee-chan?”

“Sh-She asked me to…”

Puff…

Just like back then, Sara-san’s cheeks puffed out in adorable frustration.

Yes—just like before. She was clearly… jealous. Or maybe even a little angry.

With her cheeks full and her eyes glaring, Sara-san was practically shouting, “I’m mad!” without saying a word. She looked unbelievably cute—but I knew better than to say that out loud. That would only make things worse.

No, what mattered now was damage control. Adorable as she was, this was no time to be distracted.

“S-Sara-san, I mean—Hanako-san just wants to be a sister…”

“…I know that! But still! It bothers me. Just imagining you smiling and calling someone else Onee-chan—it’s infuriating!!”

Puff!!

Her cheeks puffed out even more, swollen to their absolute limit. I almost worried they might pop if I poked them. But despite the tension, her expression was so irresistibly cute, I nearly forgot myself…

But seriously—what do I do now? I didn’t think she’d get this upset…

Even if I think back to the incident with Natsumi-senpai—or the one with Mayumi-san—there’ve been name-related misunderstandings before. Yet here I am… being foolish again.

Determined to apologize, I hurriedly sat up to meet Sara-san’s gaze—but she turned away with a quiet pout. I’d never seen that reaction before. I was genuinely bewildered.

“Sa‑Sara-san? I’m not… especially happy about it or anything…”

“Then… was it troubling for you?”

“N-no… that’s not it…”

“…”

She was sulking completely. I never expected she’d get this upset. Still, since I understand why, I knew there’s only one proper response if she dislikes it.

“Sara-san, I’ve told Hanako-san that I wouldn’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. So I won’t call her ‘Onee‑chan’ anymore.”

“…”

“I’m truly sorry for hurting you…”

I’d promised to never do anything to upset her. And yet I had. Feeling both apologetic and frustrated, I offered my heartfelt apology. Knowing how much she cares about naming, I was angry at myself for being so careless.

I really—

“Uh…”

But then something shifted. Sara-san looked conflicted—reaching out to me a few times, then pulling back. Eventually, she gathered courage and slowly wrapped her arms around my back and hugged me.

“…That’s unfair. After that, how can I keep being mad at you?”

“No, I didn’t intend…”

“I know. I was acting like a child.”

Then softly, she stroked my head. After a little while, her voice steadied, and her gentle touch returned.

“If Hanako-san really wants it, then, once in a while… please call her ‘Onee‑chan.’”

“No—I won’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable…”

“Then please grant my request. If you do, I’ll be fine.”

Sara-san had clearly found a compromise I could accept—not as a replacement for Hanako-san, but because it was her request. I promised to honor it fully.

“And… will you sometimes call me just ‘Sara’?”

“!?”

“Rest assured, only after we marry. Not always—but if I choose to call you ‘dear,’ then could you call me ‘Sara’ in return?”

Calling her by her given name—how am I supposed to bring myself to do that? We’ve done it a few times before, and each time, the embarrassment almost made me lose myself.

Still… if that’s what she wants—

“O-okay. If that’s what you’d like… I’ll do my best.”

“Thank you! Please don’t forget—if you do, you’ll be punished.”

Punishment… the way she said it sounded less like a rebuke and more like… a reward.

“Dear?”

“Sa‑Sara.”

“Now, again. Dear?”

“Sara.”

“…My dear.”

“…Sara.”

My face felt like it was on fire—what sort of shameful little test is this?!

“Ah, um, Sara-san… that’s enough—”

That’s when her gentle weight closed over me again, forcing me into silence. If this is her specialty now, it’s a lovely one in my opinion.

So I ended up completely hushed in her arms, unable to speak.

“…Punishment, as promised. From now on, call me Sara. And work on your tone. If you forget again, I just won’t answer you.”

“O-okay… Sara.”

She softened her embrace a little, so I could finally get a word out. Her calm voice told me she’d forgiven me. I felt relieved, but I also knew this was a new habit I’d have to get used to—and changing my speech style too might take some time.

“Hehe… Please get used to it soon, okay?”

“I’ll try… really try, Sara.”

Oh man, the combination of embarrassment and awkwardness made me feel like melting. Meanwhile, she looked thrilled.

When we finally climbed into bed together, she immediately drew me in. She reached for the remote and turned off the light.

We always set up two individual futons—but I ended up in hers, embraced tightly. We talked quietly about today—but suddenly Sara-san stopped. I thought she might have fallen asleep—but her hand was still gently stroking my head.

“Kazunari-kun… please let me apologize.”

“Huh? Apologize…?”

I had no idea what she could be sorry for. In the dark, the moonlight revealed a pensive expression on Sara-san’s face—something between troubled and quietly remorseful.

“I mean… because I got mad at you, without reason.”

Even though-kun I was technically the one who messed up, I started to feel guilty.

“Kazunari… I might get jealous sometimes again. And if I overstep, please—scold me. Get angry.”

I understand her position, but I honestly can’t. Sure, jealousy makes me happy, but choosing to scold her? That is not something I could bear.

“It may sound odd, but… honestly, hearing you’re jealous… makes me happy.”

“Still… yes, sometimes I’ll overdo it. But if I do—please reprimand me. And I might need forgiveness later too.”

Believing in the chance she’ll be happy again, I leaned into her. She hugged me tightly, and held me deeper.

“Then we make up quickly. Couples may fight—they might hurt each other. But we make up fast. Because as long as we have this… we’re happy.”

I can’t imagine ever truly arguing with Sara-san—but if it happened, I know we’d fix things quickly. We’d be okay.

“Then… we finish with a make‑up kiss?”

“Huh?”

“Turn to me, please.”

Despite the dim room, I turned and saw Sara-san’s face in the moonlight, her expression soft and tender. I felt a rush of delicate warmth.

She closed her eyes—and I knew she wanted me to kiss her.

I leaned in, but our position made it impossible. I couldn’t move without breaking her embrace.

Seeing my hesitation, she opened one eye to check if I would—and when she realized, she came forward and bridged the small gap.

Smooch…

This kiss was different—maybe it was because we both reached out. It felt strangely beautiful and left both of us unable to break eye contact afterwards.

Eventually, I surrendered to embarrassment and backed away.

“Hehe… you are adorable, Kazunari-kun.”

In response, Sara-san giggled softly.

“I’m sorry…”

“You’re fine. Because now I get to see that adorable you all the time.”

Her joy erased the earlier tension. The darkness was gone, replaced by warmth and tenderness.

“Now we’re truly okay again. And from here on, you can spoil me as much as you like.”

“Eh?”

“Because you’re forgiven. Now—spoil me all you want. And I’ll spoil you back.”

Whether it’s some weird logic or not, this is what Sara-san sees as harmony.

“Hehe… until you fall asleep, I’ll keep giving you love, you know?”

And so she did. Until I drifted off, Sara-san continually showered me with affection—until I was utterly content and softly melted into sleep.