Lonely Me And The Lonely Caring Goddess - Chapter 232: Salvation Takes A Different Form For Everyone.

Salvation Takes A Different Form For Everyone.

Hanako-san continued to gently stroke my head, her hand moving in a slow, steady rhythm, as she began to speak—her voice quiet, deliberate, almost as if she was weighing each word before letting it go.

“That photograph… that’s my younger brother.”

It was the answer I had expected.

Well—almost. I hadn’t known his gender for sure, so I had narrowed it down to four possibilities: younger brother, older brother, younger sister, or older sister. Still, this much I had been prepared for, so it didn’t exactly come as a shock.

“Kazunari died when he was still a baby. I was so young myself that… I have no memories of him.”

!?

Kazunari… Of course, she didn’t mean me.

Her younger brother had the same name as I do—though likely written with different characters.

And somehow, at that moment, I began to understand the meaning behind Hanako-san’s insistence on calling herself “Onee-chan.”

“Since I had no memories of him, I just… made them up. I would imagine his face, his personality… what kind of little brother he might have been.”

“…”

“I think there were a lot of different triggers. I can’t even remember which came first anymore. But before I knew it, I was thinking about him often. Then I got hooked on light novels, and that made me start wishing I had a little brother. I had too much time on my hands, so I devoured every sibling-themed story I could find.”

By this point, I could piece together the rest.

Too much time on her hands… which likely meant Hanako-san either had very few friends, or none at all.

I might not be one to talk—given my own history with isolation—but I doubted Hanako-san was naturally good at making friends either. If people could see the real her, she would have had plenty. But she was probably easy to misread as someone difficult to approach.

And so, she began to long for a younger brother…

“When I was thinking about my little brother, it made me happy. Reading so many books made me start shaping my own ideal of him. Before I knew it, Kazunari had become my perfect younger brother.”

Escaping into imagination…

I understood that feeling all too well.

Back then, when I had given up on everything, I lived in the classroom purely to spite the world—to exist as a constant source of discomfort to my classmates. If my presence could keep the atmosphere tense and uneasy, that was my small act of revenge. No matter what anyone said to me, I held out until graduation for that single purpose.

It was all I had.

For me, the one thing that sustained me was that petty revenge.

For Hanako-san, it was the fantasy of a little brother.

“That’s why, when I saw Yamazaki buying an entire set of my favorite novels, I couldn’t help but talk to him. Looking back, he was probably just humoring me, but I mistook it for finding a kindred spirit. I suspect now he just bought them as a gift for some girl.”

I didn’t know what Hanako-san looked like back then, but if she was even a fraction like she is now, it wouldn’t surprise me if Yamazaki had jumped at the chance to talk to her.

Then came the whole Yuzuha incident, and she got caught in the fallout.

Still… it was probably a blessing in disguise that things hadn’t gone any deeper.

“What made me angrier than being mocked myself was the feeling that my precious little brother had been insulted too. I swore I’d get revenge for the both of us.”

And from here, the Hanako-san I knew began to emerge. The pieces finally fit together.

“My little brother would be clingy, even after he grew up—still spoiled enough to lean on his onee-chan. But he’d also be brave, showing his manliness when it really mattered. He’d do what needed to be done, seize the moment when it counted, and be incredibly kind…”

It was clear this was her ideal younger brother. To balance that much sweetness with that much strength… that was no easy feat. Which is why it was, indeed, ideal.

At that point, Hanako-san paused her hand for a moment, cupped my cheeks, and turned my face toward her.

Looking at her directly, I saw—yes—she had been smiling at me all along. Our eyes met, and she resumed gently stroking my head.

“At first, I thought you were just clingy. And that I only noticed you because you had the same name. But it wasn’t just that. You also have that manliness, that charisma—people naturally want to help you. You can gather them together and overcome difficulties. You’re a dependable, kind boy who freed me from being trapped in revenge. But… you’re still a little spoiled.”

The look in her eyes left no doubt—she wasn’t talking about an ideal anymore.

She was talking about me.

But I’m no such grand person. That’s far too generous an assessment.

Still… given that I was literally resting my head on her lap right now, I couldn’t exactly deny the “spoiled” part.

“I want to be an onee-chan… no, I want to try being one. I know it’s just make-believe. I’d be fine if it lasted only until we return to reality—until the moment you feel it’s a nuisance, or that it’s gone too far. When that day comes, you can tell me directly.”

So this was it—the true reason she’d been emphasizing “onee-chan” all along.

An older sister… no, an honorary older sister. One without blood ties, bound only by a verbal agreement.

“I won’t get in the way of you and your fiancée. Because I’m the older sister. The person my little brother treasures will also be precious to me.”

How was I supposed to take this?

Sara-san must have decided not to reject Hanako-san because she believed Hanako-san truly saw me only as a younger brother—or maybe she had already heard about Hanako-san’s real brother before making her decision. The latter seemed more likely.

When Hanako-san says she won’t “get in the way,” she means she won’t wedge herself between me and Sara-san. She only intends to treat me as a younger brother.

“I know exactly what I’m saying. I promise I won’t be a burden. So…”

Her expression tightened with a quiet sorrow. I’d never seen her look like this before. Hanako-san rarely showed her emotions so plainly, which meant that, here and now, she was utterly serious.

“I want to try being an onee-chan. I want you to be my younger brother. That’s all I want. And I know what you’re worried about. I don’t know if it’ll put your mind at ease, but I swear—I will never cross that line.”

She had thought it through that far…

If all she wanted was that purely platonic, sibling-like relationship, then I had no reason to refuse. If that truly satisfied her…

But if, someday, she wanted more—then, for her sake, for Sara-san’s sake, and for my own, I would have to end it.

Even so, if she fully understood and accepted that, I could say yes.

Because it’s only natural for people to seek a form of salvation.

Salvation takes many forms.

For me, that salvation had been Sara-san.

Meeting her, loving her, being loved by her—that was what saved me.

And if Hanako-san could be saved by seeing me as her younger brother, then I wanted to give her that. Because she is, without question, a dear friend to me.

But first—we needed to talk things through.

“I understand how you feel, Hanako-san. You’ve been calling yourself my sister all this time, so hearing the real reason behind it clears up a lot. But honestly… I’m still shocked about your real brother, and I don’t even know what to say.”

“…Yeah.”

“And about your ideal little brother… I’m not sure I fit that image. I can’t deny the spoiled part, and that’s embarrassing enough.”

“…”

“But in the end, it’s not up to me—it’s what you think that matters. If you want to see me as your little brother, that’s your choice.”

“…Yeah. I may not have known you long, but I’ve watched you closely. What I said earlier—that’s how I really feel. I do think of you that way.”

“To be honest, I’ve always seen you as a close friend, never as a sister. Though… sometimes you do seem older than me.”

In maturity and mindset, she was undeniably ahead of me. That much was true.

“But Hanako-san—if I say yes, I don’t think I can start seeing you as an older sister. I’ll still treat you as the close friend you are. If you want to treat me as a younger brother, that’s up to you.”

“Yeah. If you’ll accept me, that’s all I need. Just let me act like your onee-chan—that’s enough.”

If she put it that way, I had no real reason to refuse.

The only remaining question was whether Sara-san would be okay with it.

“Then let me make this clear. Sara-san is more important to me than anyone. I will never do anything that could trouble her. So can you swear—that you’ll be satisfied with just being my sister, nothing more?”

Even if it was only a verbal promise, this was something I couldn’t compromise on. If she ever broke it, our trust would be gone instantly.

It was the kind of promise that had to be absolute.

“I swear. If I ever break that promise, you’re free to cut ties with me. I’ll even put it in writing if that helps.”

If she’s willing to make such a clear and resolute promise, then I should accept it too. Of course, with a few conditions of my own.

“I’ll say this to you, Hanako-san, but I also want you to hear it from Hanako-san herself: I want a promise that you’ll never trouble or burden Sara-san. If Sara-san is even the slightest bit uncomfortable, then this whole discussion is off. That said, if things stay the way they’ve been up until now, I don’t see any problem.”

“…Actually, we’ve already talked. Satsukawa-san said the exact same thing. That if I ever became a nuisance to you or made things difficult, she wouldn’t forgive me. She said that if I could truly keep to the bond of a sibling relationship, then the rest was up to your decision. You two really are alike… a married couple, through and through.”

So Sara-san already knew all this. In that case, the only question left is whether I can trust Hanako-san—not just as a friend, but as a best friend.

And I want to trust her. No… I will trust her.

“…Alright. I’ll hold you to that promise. Though, to be honest, I still have no idea how I’m supposed to act like a younger brother.”

“…Huh?”

“I’m saying I trust you, Hanako-san. But I’m just as confused, so please go easy on me. And don’t expect me to suddenly start acting all ‘younger brother-like.’ I wouldn’t even know what that means. For now, can we just stick with how things have been?”

Hanako-san looked dumbfounded, like she couldn’t quite process my reply.

Even though she was the one who brought it up, she seemed genuinely shocked that I had accepted.

“…Is that… really okay?”

She finally asked, her voice quiet. I nodded back, a little embarrassed.

After all, she had been referring to herself as “Onee-chan” this whole time. I guess this was just me finally allowing it—no, accepting it.

If she really means it when she says it won’t trouble Sara-san and that it won’t go any further than what we’ve already seen, then I’m sure it’ll be fine.

And someday… when she grows a little more, when she’s able to move past these feelings—until that day comes, we’ll just be temporary siblings.

And then… perhaps truly understanding my answer for the first time, Hanako-san gave me the kind of radiant smile I’d never seen on her before—like a flower blooming in full light.

“Thank… you. Thank you so much… I’m so happy. So happy…”

Her eyes shimmered slightly with tears as she looked at me.

“I’m happy… so happy… I’m your big sister now, Ichisei. I really am your big sister, right?”

“Y-Yeah. Just… be gentle with me, okay?”

“I understand. I won’t overdo it in front of others. And I’ll absolutely restrain myself around your girlfriend. But just for now…”

If she truly understands that part, then for the time being, this arrangement should be okay.

Seeing her like that, I felt reassured that I hadn’t made the wrong decision—that Hanako-san had found some measure of peace in this.