Lonely Me And The Lonely Caring Goddess - Chapter 207: What It Means to Rely on Someone.

What It Means to Rely on Someone.

“Kazu… nari… sa…”

Amid her calm, rhythmic breathing, Sara-san softly murmured my name, perhaps in a dream.

When I gently stroked her head, she rubbed her cheek against my chest with a blissful expression.

Usually, I’m the one being pampered like this, so having it reversed for once doesn’t feel so bad. Besides, with how openly she’s clinging to me today, I just want to spoil her even more.

……

After Sara-san finished her bath and was finally relaxing, I gathered my courage and invited her to lie down with me. I thought that maybe, if she settled down while lying next to me, she might open up and talk a little. Of course, I had no other intentions.

As soon as we lay down together, she clung tightly to me. When I wrapped my arms around her in return, her tense expression melted into relief, and before I knew it, she had drifted off to sleep.

She must have been utterly exhausted… Even though I know it isn’t Masaomi-san’s fault, I couldn’t help but feel anger welling up at how strained Sara has been.

As I felt her warmth against me, my mind replayed the conversation I had just had with Mayumi-san…

“I understand this is still too heavy a topic for you two right now. But since the other side has already made their move, just sitting by and doing nothing might lead to even worse problems down the line. If you don’t want that, then even if it’s just vague thoughts, I want to hear what you plan to do going forward… Just tell me what’s truly on your mind.”

Going forward…

What do I want with Sara-san…?

Deep down, I already knew the answer.

I never became her boyfriend while thinking about breaking up someday. I want to stay with her forever. No matter what anyone says, that is my genuine and honest feeling.

And I know, if we continue like this, someday the word “marriage” will naturally come up.

But honestly, as someone completely inexperienced in love, I can’t claim to truly understand what marriage entails. To me, it was just something far in the future, beyond our current relationship.

So then, was Mayumi-san’s question too difficult for me?

No, not at all.

My desire to stay with Sara-san forever hasn’t wavered one bit. If that’s how I feel, then no matter what lies ahead, there is nothing to hesitate about.

Though the topic felt heavy and overwhelming at first, I realized the answer was surprisingly simple.

“I… I want to stay with Sara-san forever. I can’t say anything complicated, and honestly, I know I probably don’t fully understand marriage. But… if it’s something waiting for us down the road, I won’t hesitate. When it comes to Sara-san, there’s nothing I would ever hesitate about.”

I don’t know if that was the answer she was looking for, but it was my true, unfiltered feeling.

There are things I don’t know, and that’s okay. Instead of putting on a front, I should just keep expressing my honest desire to be with her. If something is necessary for that, I won’t waver.

“Thank you… I understand how you feel now, Takanashi-san. You want to stay with her forever, and for that, you won’t hesitate… That’s what you’re saying, right? Ufufu… Now I feel motivated as a future mother-in-law too!”

Mayumi-san’s demeanor softened as she returned to her usual calm, gentle tone. Hearing her speak like that filled me with relief.

“Then… I’d like to speak with Masaomi-san.”

“Yes, you should definitely have a proper talk. I’ll ask him to make some time this weekend, so please keep your schedule open.”

This weekend…

Things have shifted so much that I can’t even consult with Sara-san now. But if that’s how it is, then I’ll convince Masaomi-san myself. I will make him accept me – no matter what.

“I’ll be there too, for that conversation. If it’s come to this, then for Sara-chan’s happiness… Takanashi-sa… No, Kazunari-kun, you have to become part of our family!”

Part of their family… She means me, right? With words like “fiancé” and “marriage” being thrown around so casually, it’s no wonder I feel a bit flustered.

…Wait, did she just call me by my first name?

“Leave arranging everything with Masaomi-san to me. Now, about Sara-chan…”

Yes, what to do about Sara, who ran away from home.

Forcing her to return is out of the question.

“Kazunari-kun, I’m sorry to impose, but could you look after Sara-chan for a while longer? I’ll give you the necessary living expenses when we meet this weekend.”

Honestly, I thought that would be best too.

Right now, she’s too shocked to calmly process anything. Giving her some distance to regain her composure before talking things through again would be ideal.

“Leave it to me. But… there’s no need for living expenses.”

“No, please accept it. We’re the ones asking you for this favor. Now, we should end this call before Sara-chan gets out of the bath.”

“Right… I’ll leave Masaomi-san’s matter to you then.”

“And I’ll leave Sara-chan to you. Good night.”

……

I have no doubts about my path.

I will choose to stay by Sara’s side, no matter what.

But… from what Mayumi-san said, I understood that our opponents aren’t just simple obstacles. Even if we announced our engagement, it might only seem like things have calmed down on the surface while the embers remain hidden beneath.

I couldn’t shake off that unsettling thought.

Thinking back, dealing with Yamazaki felt much simpler compared to this…

***

The Next Day.

Sara-san seemed normal this morning.

No… it was obvious she was just putting on a brave face. Seeing that made my chest ache.

But if she’s holding herself together, then I have to as well. What I can do now is stay by her side and make her feel safe.

And earn Masaomi-san’s approval as soon as possible. That’s the first step.

I can’t wait for the weekend.

“Good morning, Takanashi-kun.”

The somewhat curt greeting came from Hanako-san, who became my classmate just yesterday.

With her now being both a precious friend and classmate, her presence felt even more irreplaceable.

“Good morning, Hanako-san.”

“……”

Why is she staring at me like that…? All I did was greet her, yet she’s looking at my face intently as if trying to read something.

“…Look, they’re gazing at each other again this morning.”

“…Yeah, so lovey-dovey.”

“…Ugh, so jealous.”

“…It’s fine. I still have Satsukawa-senpai.”

“…She’s been getting even prettier lately. But there are too many rivals…”

“…For flowers beyond reach, it’s best to just admire them from afar.”

“Come with me.”

With that short command, Hanako suddenly grabbed my sleeve and pulled me along.

Surprised, I quickly realized she must have a reason, so I followed silently.

“Hurry back before homeroom starts~” someone called out behind us as she led me down the corridor, pulling me along until we reached the quiet landing by the stairs where I often chatted with Hayato.

She found this spot after just two days of transferring in…?

“Hanako-san, what’s wrong?”

“That’s what I want to ask. If something’s bothering you, talk to me.”

“Speak up.” Her gaze said it all as she stared at me. Am I really that bad at hiding things…?

“…I don’t think we have enough time for me to explain it all.”

It might sound like an excuse, but homeroom was approaching fast. If I started explaining now, there wouldn’t be enough time.

“I see… So it’s that big of a deal. Then tonight, call for an assembly at RAIN.”

Assembly!?

…Oh, she means a group call.

“Idle thoughts lead nowhere. Whatever you’re worrying about, if you talk it out with everyone, you might find a solution. I get it’s probably about your ‘wife,’ but don’t forget – people being willing to help you is a strength of yours too.”

People helping me is my strength…? What does she mean by that…?

Sometimes, I feel like Hanako sees the world from a completely different angle than the rest of us. In those moments, she suddenly cuts through everything with sharp insights or cryptic words.

This felt like one of those times.

“You have everyone. I’m here too. If you can’t handle it alone, then rely on us.”

“Hanako-san…”

We’re quite different in height, but she stretched up on her tiptoes and just managed to reach and pat my head.

I understood her words clearly.

If a friend is in trouble, I want to help them too. And surely, everyone feels that way about each other.

I’d been so consumed with thinking I had to handle everything for Sara-san that I hadn’t even considered asking my friends for help.

“You’re amazing, Hanako-san.”

There were probably better ways to express my gratitude, but that’s all that came out.

“I’m your big sister, after all.”

She smiled mischievously, using her recent favorite phrase, “big sister.” Considering everything she just said, though, I couldn’t deny it this time.

“Hanako-san, about that ‘big sister’ thing—”

Ding-dong…

The warning bell echoed through the school, telling us to return to class.

Once again, we couldn’t finish our conversation.

We exchanged glances, then silently began walking back. As we did, she murmured softly behind me,

“I’ll tell you next time.”

***

Lunch Break.

After finishing my lunch and taking a short break…

“U-um… Kazunari-san, really…”

“Of course. Come on, quickly!”

“Auu…”

I patted my lap, urging Sara a little impatiently.

She blushed deeply but timidly obeyed. I wonder if a part of her felt happy about it too.

“…What are they doing?”

“…Looks like Kazunari is offering Satsukawa-senpai his lap for a pillow.”

“…I wonder what it feels like to get a lap pillow from a guy.”

“…You’ll find out if you get an ikemen to do it.”

“…Ehh!?”

If they make too much noise, Sara might get embarrassed and back out… I wish they’d leave us be.

“Th-then… Excuse me.”

With a tiny “ei!” of determination, Sara gently laid her head on my lap – or rather, my thigh.

I draped my blazer over her and began stroking her head, the classic lap pillow move.

“Fuaaa…”

Whether from happiness or comfort, she let out a small, blissful sigh I rarely hear. Seeing that, I couldn’t stop myself from stroking her hair again and again. Eventually, she must have relaxed, as the weight of her head seemed to settle more deeply onto my legs.

Stroke… stroke…

Time seemed to flow slower in this peaceful, quiet moment just for us.

Her hand, resting against my leg, squeezed gently, as if to confirm something, and I couldn’t help but smile at the gesture.

Maybe now I finally understand a little of how she feels when she gives me lap pillows.

“…Um, Natsumi-senpai, what are you—”

“…Just recording it to show Eririn later~”

“…Kazunari-kun looks so happy. Just watching them makes me feel happy too.”

“…If it feels that good, maybe I’ll ask him next time… No, actually, I want to give him one.”

“Kazunari-san…”

I’d noticed, but as I expected, Sara wasn’t asleep. When she rolled slightly to look up at me, our eyes met, and she smiled softly.

“You couldn’t sleep after all?”

“Fufu… I felt so happy that I didn’t want to waste it sleeping.”

“In that case, shall we do this at home too?”

“Thank you… But if anything, I’d rather be the one giving you a lap pillow.”

So she really prefers being the one I rely on… Maybe next time, I’ll gather the courage to ask her for that.