Jobless Man’s Zombie Survival Life - Chapter 72: The Matter of a Day That Would’ve Been Nice If Nothing Happened

Chapter 72: The Matter of a Day That Would’ve Been Nice If Nothing Happened

“Ugh… Seven o’clock, huh…”

I stir in the darkness, checking the alarm clock’s glowing face.

The windows are boarded up tight, so it doesn’t feel like morning.

Can’t open them, though—too risky.

Getting chomped by a zombie in my sleep? No thanks.

I’m sleepy, but not enough to doze off again.

Rubbing my eyes, I shuffle to the kitchen.

I splash my face with well water I’d stored up.

Gah! Cold!!

I’m awake now!!

I rinse my mouth, stretch, and feel my joints pop.

Must’ve slept weird—my body’s creaking like crazy.

A quick stretch, then I ditch the pajamas for casual clothes.

It’s a day off!

…Well, every day’s kinda a day off when you’re jobless.

No plans to hit the shelter or occhan’s place today.

A whole day to laze around!

That’s what makes it a real day off!!

Gotta rest sometimes, you know?

Especially since I’ve been busting my ass in this mess.

Yeah, yeah, even I deserve a break without divine punishment.

What? Missing persons requests?

That’s, uh, volunteer work, so…

※

“Let’s see… A’s part ① goes here… Oh, it fits there.”

Under the glow of a rechargeable lamp, I snap parts together.

There we go—right arm done.

I’m assembling a model kit I snagged from Ooki-kun’s bookstore the other day.

Good thing I still have my old tools.

Used to build these in high school sometimes.

Man, modern kits are something else.

They look cool even without paint.

Maybe I’ll do some panel lining and a matte finish, though.

I play a favorite movie in the background, piecing together a green mass-produced robot.

Left arm, torso, legs, machine gun, bazooka… Maybe paint the heat axe’s blade?

I ignore the manual and save the head for last.

Always done it that way—feels like I’m actually building a robot, gets me hyped.

“Hmm, badass! Gotta display this properly!”

The green machine stands firm, gripping its glowing axe.

Damn, I love this guy.

I set it on an open spot on the DVD shelf.

Oh, I’ll put the original show’s box set next to it.

Now I wanna build the enemy’s mass-produced model too.

Mass-produced units are the best.

That perfect mix of… kinda weak but cool!

Main character mechs? The first one’s enough.

I’m not into those wing-covered ones.

Anyway, I’ll scavenge more kits later.

In this chaos, I’m probably the only nutcase into this.

It’s a day off, but it’ll kill time on rainy days too.

※

What time is it?

Feels like I spent a while… Ten, maybe?

What, noon already!?

…Time flies when you’re having fun.

Haven’t even had breakfast. What’s for lunch?

I whip up some instant salt ramen nearing its expiration date.

Only topping is green onions from the garden.

Simple is best!

…Would’ve loved an egg or some ham.

Tasty.

Salt hits the spot sometimes.

I down some veggie juice and a vitamin supplement after.

The garden veggies should be ready soon—looking forward to it.

Hmm, maybe I’ll scout a farm soon.

Can’t exactly ask for Yurei’s chicks.

The neighborhood’s empty, so if I find chickens, I’ll borrow someone’s yard.

Nobody’s coming back, probably.

If they do, I’ll just apologize.

※

Time for some training to settle my stomach.

I head to the garden, strip to the waist, and swing my bokken.

I chain strikes without losing momentum, as long as my breath holds.

Against a crowd, stopping means death.

Even weak foes can kill if they keep hitting.

Strike the vitals, move to the next, and keep going.

I catch my breath, switch to the sword, and practice forms.

Slicing a torso like in manga or movies? Impossible.

Aim for vitals instead.

Unlike a bokken, a sword cuts arteries or nerves easily.

Speed’s key—slashes too fast for reaction.

I drill the forms into my body.

No talent here, just relentless practice.

I mimic sensei’s fluid movements, repeating endlessly.

Phew, I’m sweating buckets.

Time to heat the bath.

I flip on the generator, fill the tub with well water, and drop in the electric heater.

Three hours, and I’ll have a hot bath.

Civilization’s the best!!

※

Still got time before the bath’s ready.

Might as well keep moving.

I climb the fence to the yard opposite the Sakashita house.

An old lady lived here alone.

She left for a senior trip and hasn’t come back.

Hope she’s okay…

“Oh, there it is.”

A weed-choked patch that used to be a garden.

The old lady’s hobby gone wild.

Her plot’s way bigger than mine.

I’ll borrow it.

First, weeding.

I tie a towel around my head and start pulling.

It’s a garden, so they come out easy.

Lots of them, but this won’t take long.

Mostly done, I take a break.

I sip well water from a bottle and stretch.

Ow, my back!

…Gotta up my strength training.

One last push.

I grab a hoe from home and till the soil.

Once it’s soft, I scatter fertilizer from the lady’s shed.

Helped her with gardening before, so I know my way around.

Mix the soil, and it’s looking like a proper garden.

Garden, check!

I’ll plant potatoes, tomatoes, and soybeans.

Got seeds from the hardware store.

Enough for one guy to eat.

Soybeans and potatoes keep well.

Tomatoes? I just like ‘em.

Phew, worked hard today.

It’s just before four, according to my watch.

Time for a bath and some movie-watching while lazing around.

Maybe swing by occhan’s tomorrow.

What a fulfilling day off!

※

Would’ve been a great day off if it ended there.

As I prep a towel and underwear for my bath, I hear something from the open second-floor window.

I creep upstairs, silent, grabbing shuriken and sword.

I strain my ears.

“Yo, this place is a jackpot, right?”

“Whoa, that’s gotta be a generator—look at the cords!”

“There’s even a customized truck!”

Young voices, male and female.

Two guys, one girl, probably.

They’re at my fence.

…Scavengers finally reached this far, huh.

What now?

“Damn it! What’s with this lock!?”

“Come on, let’s climb the fence! There’s gaps in the nails.”

Whoa, already?

I could strike first, but I don’t want bodies piling up near home.

Probably pointless, but I’ll warn them.

“Hey, you lot! What do you want with my place!?”

I shout from the balcony.

Three faces look up.

Twenties, trendy-looking.

Weapons: metal bat, iron pipe, wrench.

No ranged weapons.

No armor either.

“This is my house. Mind staying out?”

I warn again.

“…Sorry! We’re exhausted, can we rest here?”

“Please, we’re starving…”

“Come on, ojisan, pleeease!”

…They’re straight-up mooching.

Their half-assed polite tone and smirking faces piss me off.

“Sorry, I don’t have food to spare. This area’s full of empty houses—try those.”

That’s as far as I’ll compromise.

If they just need a spot to crash, an empty house’ll do.

But from what they said, they’re after my truck and generator.

If they back off, I’ll let it slide… Hope they do.

“Nah, come on, don’t be like that!”

“Help each other out in tough times, right!?”

“Let us in!”

Yup, saw that coming.

No choice—final warning.

“No way! No, no, no!! This is my house!! I decide who comes in!!”

I raise my voice.

“Listen up! Climb that fence, and I’ll kill you!! Get lost, brats!!!”

They glare at me.

One guy silently grabs the fence.

“I’m not saying it twice! Stop! Go home!!”

He ignores me, grinning as he slips his hand through the nail gaps.

The other two follow.

Guess they think they can take one guy.

Ugh, your funeral.

I lower a ladder from the balcony and climb down.

The first guy’s standing on the fence as I hit the ground.

“Hey, punk, get down. Go. Home.”

I enunciate each word.

He just smirks mockingly.

He leaps into the garden…

“GYAAAAAAA!! AAHHH!! AHH!!”

He lands hard on the nail board I buried.

Nice—five-inch nails pierced both feet clean through.

“Hey! What’s—!?”

The second guy climbs up, sees me, and freezes.

Probably spotted my drawn sword.

“It hurts!! It HURTS!! Help…!!”

“Eek…! Yo, Mika, this guy’s got a sword!!”

“H-Help…!”

The guy jumps back to the street, grabs the girl, and bolts.

“Hey!? What about Daisuke!?”

“Shut up!! Run!! He’ll kill us!!!”

They disappear around the corner in record time.

Now, gotta deal with Daisuke-kun.

“Eek…! S-Sorry, please spare me!!”

Every time, man. Wish they’d said that before…

※

So, here I am, hiding in the dark.

Why? You’ll see soon.

Hope I’m wrong, but…

There they are.

Eight armed figures in my line of sight.

The two who ran are among them.

Sigh, they came back, huh.

Kinda sad how predictable these types are.

They strut confidently but sprint when they spot something.

“Daisuke!” “Dai-kun!?” “Yo!!”

I propped Daisuke-kun against a wall where they’d see him.

Took him from my place, through the alley, to the corner they fled to.

“Daisuke… He’s dead… Dead!?”

“That bastard… I’ll kill him!!”

“With this many, even a sword’s nothing…!”

Yup, murder vibes received.

I light a lighter and ignite something.

I leap from the shadows, tossing it into the middle of their mourning party.

“What—” “Gross!” “What’s—”

“AH! AAAAAAAAHHHH!!”

A pillar of flame rises in the neighborhood.

I threw a homemade Molotov cocktail.

Learned their value at the hardware store incident, so I’ve been stashing them.

I toss another for good measure and jump from a nearby roof to the street.

Crap, broke a tile on landing! Sorry, Jounouchi-san!!

I charge the screaming, panicking group, slashing the least injured first.

“Gya!” “Guh!?” “Higi!?”

No resistance.

Easy peasy.

It’s over quick.

“Please… Help… Help…”

I finish off the last groaning one and check around.

…No zombies drawn by the noise.

This area’s really clear.

Six guys, two girls.

…First time I’ve killed a woman.

I let one die before, but still.

Doesn’t hit me much, though.

Enemies get no mercy.

Gender equality, you know?

I warned them plenty, and they came back for revenge.

Had to wipe them out, or they might’ve torched the place later.

Good thing I was home, but if they’d snuck in while I was out…

…I hope they don’t have more buddies.

Gotta beef up the first floor and fence defenses.

Now, these bodies…

Can’t let them rot near my house.

“Ugh, more work…”

※

Grunting and sweating, I dig a hole and dump them in a mass grave.

It’s in an empty lot by the community center.

Dug it deep to keep zombies and strays away—exhausting.

A backhoe would’ve been nice…

Oh, I don’t have a license.

It’s nearly eight p.m. by the time I’m done.

Too late, and zombies might sniff me out.

Glad I finished in time…

I drag my worn-out body home.

Soaking in lukewarm bathwater—gone cold by now—I sigh.

Damn it, the day was perfect until it turned into the worst…