Jobless Man’s Zombie Survival Life - Chapter 46: The Swordsmanship Class

Chapter 46: The Swordsmanship Class

“Don’t swing with brute force! Keep it small, precise!”

“““Hai!”””

“Forget kendo basics! Hit vital points, and humans drop!!”

“““Hai!!”””

“No such thing as one-on-one out there! Outmaneuver and overwhelm with numbers!!”

“““Hai!!!”””

“What’s this…?”

I came to the shelter for my biweekly check-in, but the sports field’s buzzing, so I peek over.

A group of mostly men, some women, stand in formation—probably the shelter’s cops.

Their eyes are locked on a metal platform, the kind principals use for sports day speeches.

And atop it, for some reason, is Mondo-occhan, wielding a bokken.

“Hey! It’s Ichiro-ojisan!”

While I’m staring, Miku-chan spots me, runs over, and hugs my thigh.

“Ehe, hi!”

“Hey, Miku-chan.”

I pat her head, and she beams.

Since I brought her grandparents, she’s gotten even clingier.

Unconditional affection feels nice but a bit ticklish.

“Miku-chan, what’re your grandparents up to?”

I ask, seizing the chance.

“Hm? They’re doing sword training or something!”

“Sword training?”

“Yup! Miyata-ojisan asked Ojii-chan to do it!”

I see.

Boosting the police force’s combat skills, huh?

I spot some younger guys who don’t look like cops—probably open to anyone.

“Well, if it isn’t Tanakano-san. Hello.”

Speak of the devil—Miyata-san strolls up in a T-shirt and sweats.

His casual gear highlights his insane muscle mass.

What’s this, body fat under ten percent?

“Sword training, huh?”

“Yes, since Nakamura-san’s visiting regularly, I asked him to train us.”

Stronger shelter defenses are good for his grandkid.

In Japan, where guns are rare, close combat’s king.

Knowing techniques makes a huge difference.

No harm in learning, and occhan’s surprisingly helpful.

“You not joining, Miyata-san?”

“Swordplay’s not my thing… I’ve always stuck to judo.”

“Ojii-chan said Miyata-ojisan almost went to the Olympics for judo!”

“What!? That’s wild.”

“No, no, just got picked as a training athlete once.”

Still impressive…

With that body and skill, I’d never fight him.

One wrong move, and he’d grab me—straight to the afterlife.

On concrete, not a dojo mat, a throw’s fatal.

Even swinging a pole or sasumata, he’s a threat.

“Oi! Tanakano-bouzu! Get over here!!”

While I’m watching the group practice swings, occhan calls from the platform.

Uh-oh… what now?

I set down my helmet and gear, heading over.

“His kendo rank’s nothing special, but he’s got more real combat experience than anyone here. So…”

Oh, bad feeling.

“Learn by doing! Someone fight him!”

“Wha!?”

Knew it!!

Stop it! Everyone’s stares hurt!!

“Hold on, occhan! Why me!? You do it!”

“No way, too much hassle. Young guys gotta move! Actions over words, right?”

As we bicker, voices pipe up.

“Go, Onii-san!”

“Tanakano-san, do your best!!”

Miku-chan, now in Yukiko-chan’s arms, and Ogahara-san beside her.

Stop! The guys’ glares are terrifying!!

“I’ll do it!!”

Here comes idiot Harada!!

Where’s that baseless confidence from!?

Does he get daily head trauma and amnesia or what!?

“Give it up, kid. You’re no match.”

As expected from occhan.

He saw through Harada’s pathetic skills instantly.

“…! Shut up, old man!! I said I’ll do it, so I will!! Stay out!!”

Occhan, yelled at, puts a hand on my shoulder.

Ow, ow, it’s digging in!

“Bouzu, anything goes except eye gouges, groin shots, or breaking bones… I could do it, but I can’t hold back with brats like him.”

Worst permission ever.

I’m handed a standard bokken and face Harada.

The crowd watches eagerly.

“No repeat of last time, old man…!”

“Yeah, sure, do your best.”

My light retort turns Harada beet red.

His taunt resistance is always rock-bottom.

“Here I go!!”

Harada charges, swinging his bokken.

Nice of him to announce it.

His brute-force downward strike meets my bokken.

I guide it with a wrist flick, sending his weapon flying to the ground.

“Go pick it up.”

Harada, stunned, scrambles for it.

“Hold it tight, or it’ll fly again.”

“Shut up!!”

His next attack’s a side swipe.

Taking my advice too literally, he grips so hard his swing’s stiff.

I lean back to dodge, tapping his exposed wrist.

“Ow!?”

His bokken flies again.

“Go pick it up.”

“Damn it!”

Harada glares, gripping his bokken.

I sense killing intent past fighting spirit.

Played too much?

“Do it fair and square, old man!!”

“Huh…?”

Like before, he never learns when I use tricks to win.

He seems to think losing to “dirty moves” means he’s not weak.

Win’s a win, loss’s a loss, clean or not, but not to him.

I could brush him off again, but he’d just come back.

No choice—time to crush him head-on.

“…Nagumo-ryu, Tanakano Ichirouta… Here I come!”

I declare grandly to pump myself up.

Embarrassing, but kinda addicting.

“Shut up!!!”

I catch Harada’s charging slash with my bokken’s handle.

“Hn!”

Using my whole body, I fling his bokken upward.

“Haa!!”

I slam the handle into his open chest, tackling him backward.

“…Hmph!!”

I spin the bokken, landing three quick body blows in one breath.

Harada collapses, writhing, unable to pass out.

…One hit might’ve been enough.

“That’s it! Listen up, that’s the worst way to fight.”

Occhan points at Harada with his bokken.

“Charging full force at someone stronger, swinging without a plan, falling for taunts—his attacks were trash.”

Brutal verbal pile-on.

Harada’s too out of it to hear, thankfully.

“Real fights aren’t ‘ready, go.’ You don’t know how many enemies there are. Conserve energy while fighting. Got it?”

“““Hai!!”””

Harada’s sacrifice tightened everyone’s focus.

He died for the lesson…

Harada’s carted to the infirmary.

Namu Amida Butsu!!!

After, I spar with some cops.

As expected, their kendo experience makes them leagues above slug Harada.

I take some solid hits, but my inner protector hardens, so no issue.

Their moves are too “clean”—textbook dojo swordsmanship, easy to counter.

Our dojo uses anything that works, so our training’s brutal, but normal kendo’s straightforward.

“Phew… I’m beat.”

“Ichiro-ojisan! Water! And a towel!!”

As practice winds down, I rest, and Miku-chan brings a bottle and towel.

What a thoughtful kid—she’ll make a great wife someday.

“Wow, thanks, Miku-chan. Here’s a gift for such a good girl.”

“Yay! It’s pretty!!”

I pull a seashell necklace from my backpack, crafted from a shell I found fishing.

Made it on a whim, but had no use until I thought of Miku-chan.

Came here to give it to her, but forgot.

“I’ll treasure it forever! Thank you! I love you, Ojisan!!”

Miku-chan, wearing the necklace, hugs me with a grin.

Ugh, I’m super sweaty…

“…Pretty close with my grandkid, huh, bouzu.”

Occhan’s voice comes from behind, smiling but with cold eyes.

“Miku, you like Tanakano-ojisan?”

“Yup! He’s kind and cool, so I love Ichiro-ojisan!”

“Got it, got it…”

Her opinion of me’s higher than expected!?

A scarred space-pirate-looking guy like me being called cool feels nice.

“Gotta move or I’ll go senile… Spar with me, bouzu.”

Occhan’s aura feels dark.

Am I getting lolicon vibes!?

“But I’m already tired…”

“Bad guys don’t wait for you to rest! Come on, now, or I’ll kill you!”

Half-dragged to the field’s center, we face off.

“Look, occhan, Miku-chan’s ‘love’ is like family affection, not romantic…”

“I know, but it pisses me off, so just fight.”

Unfair!!

So unfair!!!

“Ojii-chan! Ojisan! Go for it!!”

Miku-chan cheers, with Kanzaki-san beside her, eyes sparkling.

No way a martial arts nut like her would miss this…

“No limits on techniques. No vital strikes, cool?”

“Got it…”

I give up, raising my bokken.

He’s way above me, but I’ll borrow his chest for this…

Here we go!!

…I got utterly wrecked.

Landed a few hits, but none were decisive.

Ouch… this is a guy past sixty?

He finds the tiniest gaps, slipping his bokken in with insane precision.

“Ojii-chan’s awesome!”

“Haha, you bet, you bet!!”

Occhan’s thrilled at Miku-chan’s praise, grinning sloppily.

What’s with that face!!

“To land hits on that master… Tanakano-san, teach me sometime.”

“Sure…”

I wipe sweat with Kanzaki-san’s towel, lighting a cigarette, feeling mixed emotions.