Jobless Man’s Zombie Survival Life - Chapter 36: The So-Called Samurai

Chapter 36: The So-Called Samurai

“Morning!!”

“Gyufun!?”

What the heck!?

I was just watching the online announcement for the new open-world RPG I love… oh, it’s a dream.

“…Morning, Miku-chan…”

“Morning, Ichirou-ojisan!!”

Miku-chan beamed happily on my chest.

Kids are so lively in the morning.

I wiped my face with a deodorant sheet to force myself awake, then it was breakfast time.

Miku-chan got shelter rations.

I had a calorie bar and water.

…Miku-chan, you don’t need to share with me.

This is plenty for morning!

Oh, want a chocolate bar? It’s fine, I’ve got tons.

Whoa, slow down or you’ll choke… see, told you!

I brushed my teeth with Miku-chan using well water I brought, getting ready for the day.

I’m scouting the second shelter today, so I’ve gotta check everything carefully.

“Hey, Ojisan, are you a ninja?”

Miku-chan peered curiously as I checked my shuriken for dents or rust.

I’ve got quite a few now, so I can see why she’d think that.

Climbing and descending the school probably didn’t help.

“Hmm… more like a samurai, I guess. I’m better with this.”

I pointed to the Japanese sword propped nearby.

Miku-chan wanted to see it, so I told her it’s dangerous and not to touch, then drew it.

Her eyes sparkled at the blade, but she didn’t try to grab or hold it.

Such a good kid.

Her parents must’ve raised her well.

“So, Ojisan’s job is a samurai!”

“Uh?”

“Not that? Then what’s your job?”

“…A samurai, I reckon.”

“Wow! Samurais still exist? Not just on TV?”

“Haha… that’s right, Miku-dono…”

“What does a samurai do?”

“Well… helping kids in trouble, fighting bad guys… that sorta thing, I reckon.”

“Wow! That’s so cool! Like a hero!!”

I can’t tell this sweet kid I’m jobless…

Guess I’ll embrace being the last samurai of justice.

No other choice.

…No other choice, I reckon!

Today’s goal: scout Shiiya High School.

Time to get serious!

I got ready and headed to the entrance.

Miku-chan trotted after me.

Like a duckling following its mom.

“Oh, morning, Onii-san! And Miku-chaaaaan!!”

Yukiko-chan ran up from the hallway, scooped Miku-chan up, and spun her around.

As expected of the volleyball team… or was it?

“Kyaa! Yukiko-oneechan, morning! Kyaa!”

Miku-chan giggled as she was spun.

Such a heartwarming sight.

“Morning, Tanakano-san!”

Hina-chan showed up too, probably drawn by the noise.

“Hey, morning to you both.”

The four of us walked to the entrance, chatting.

“Good morning, Tanakano-san. Looking forward to working with you today.”

“Morning, Kanzaki-san. Same here.”

Kanzaki-san was already at the entrance, fully geared.

As always, her presence is flawless.

“Ichirou-ojisan, going to work?”

Miku-chan, held by Yukiko-chan, asked nervously, probably recalling yesterday.

“Yup, like yesterday.”

“Is it safe?”

“No worries! Ojisan’s pretty strong. Plus, Kanzaki-oneesan’s with me!”

I flexed and grinned.

“If I’ve got time, I’ll bring back a souvenir. Play with your big sisters and wait, okay?”

I ruffled Miku-chan’s hair a bit roughly while she was in Yukiko-chan’s arms.

She giggled ticklishly.

“Okay… then, have a safe trip, Ojisan!”

“Right! I’m off!!”

Whoa, I’m super pumped!

Is this what having a daughter feels like?

…Well, I’d need a partner first.

“Go get ‘em, Samurai!!”

Oh crap, the samurai thing’s sticking!

Sent off by Miku-chan’s cheer and warm looks from the others, I headed to the parking lot with Kanzaki-san.

“Samurai work, huh?”

“Please don’t. I’ll die of shame.”

Kanzaki-san chuckled.

She’s having fun with this…

“Hey! Wait up!!”

I turned to see Harada-kun standing there.

What club’s he even in?

“…What’s up?”

“You’re going outside, right!? Take me with you!”

“No way!!”

“Huh?”

“Why should I take a rude punk who hasn’t apologized for last time?”

Harada-kun looked stunned… just Harada now.

Never apologized, just glared whenever we crossed paths.

Probably jealous ‘cause Yukiko-chan talks to me a lot, holding some grudge.

Compared to him, Moriyama-kun’s not bad.

Bet he wants to show off to Yukiko-chan, but I’m not playing along.

Besides, my truck’s a two-seater.

Not letting him ride in the bed either.

“You come up outta nowhere with that? Ever heard of apologizing? That’s just rude.”

“Besides, we don’t have room for non-combatants. You’d be a burden.”

Kanzaki-san and I hit him back-to-back, and Harada’s face went red, then pale, real busy.

“Wha…!? I…! I can fight! I’m not like last time!!”

He’s sounding like a cornered villain.

Still no apology for last time…

I don’t care that much about it, but dodging it this long ticks me off.

“Hmm, is that so…”

I dropped my backpack and stepped toward Harada.

“Then come at me, punk.”

“What!?”

“You say you can fight? Show me, Harada-kun. Forgot how to fight and apologize?”

I taunted him with the most infuriating grin.

Harada’s face turned red, and he lunged.

Idiot.

I kicked up a cloud of dirt into his face.

As he clutched his eyes, I landed a restrained front kick to his open gut.

“Guh!? …Ughhh, that’s cheap!”

“Think zombies or bad guys fight fair, moron? Idiot. Virgin.”

“…You!!”

No clue which insult hit hardest, but Harada, still kneeling, sprang up and swung again.

His wild right fist came, and I slammed my right elbow into it.

As he froze from the unexpected pain, I grabbed his right hand, swept his leg, pulled him toward me, and threw him to the ground.

I pinned him with a knee on his back, grabbed his forehead, and yanked his head back.

“…So? What now?”

“Guh…!?”

I drew my sword and waved it in front of his face for him to see.

I tapped his cheek with the flat of the blade.

“Wanna keep going? If not… you got something to say to me, right, Harada-kun?”

“L-Last time… I-I’m sorry!”

“There we go, acting human. Good, good.”

I sheathed the sword and stood.

Slung my backpack back on, ready to go.

“Let’s move, Kanzaki-san. This idiot cost us time.”

“Yes.”

At the corner of my eye, I saw Harada stand with a furious look.

Overdid the taunting? No regrets.

He was about to jump me again.

Doesn’t learn.

I was ready to knock him out with a few punches when Kanzaki-san stepped in front.

“Pathetic. At least know when to quit.”

“Shut up!”

As Harada reached out, yelling, Kanzaki-san delivered a sharp low kick to his right calf.

As he crumpled, she hit his left calf with another.

The sound was brutal.

“Argh!! Gaaaah!!”

…Ouch, that looked painful.

Her kicks were so fast I barely saw them.

Right to left, seamless.

A sharp papaan! sound.

I read in a manga that downward low kicks hurt like hell ‘cause there’s no escape for the impact.

No broken bones or bursting veins, but agonizing.

Perfect for disabling.

No way I could copy that.

I’d rather whack with a bokken—easier.

Kanzaki-san’s combat skills are insane.

She’s no ordinary SDF.

I wanna know, but I don’t! Mysterious!!

I gave one last jab to Harada, writhing on the ground.

“Sorry, Harada, my truck’s a two-seater anyway.”

“Ugh…”

Almost forgot.

“Hey, you like Yukiko-chan, right?”

“!?”

What, he thought it wasn’t obvious?

He’s always staring, chatting her up, helping with stuff—totally transparent.

Only Yukiko-chan hasn’t noticed.

She’s kinda annoyed by him too.

“If you wanna impress her, do it in the shelter. Help the elderly, play with kids. That’s what matters.”

“…”

“Don’t just focus on Yukiko-chan—she’ll hate that.”

“!?”

“Think about it. A guy who’s only nice to her and cold to others? No way she’d like that. And…”

I crouched to meet his eyes.

“If you ever hurt her with some selfish obsession…”

I slowly drew my sword in front of him.

He stared, face frozen in fear.

“Listen close… I’ll gut you with this, no question. She’s like a little sister to me. I’m dead serious.”

“No kidding, what a pain right at the start.”

“He’s notorious in the shelter for all the wrong reasons. His attitude’s awful to everyone but Yukiko-chan. Even makes kids cry sometimes.”

“Wow… a jerk on top of being an idiot. Hopeless.”

In the truck, I chatted with Kanzaki-san.

Harada, maybe shaken by my threat or Kanzaki-san’s double low kicks, limped back to the school.

Probably the kicks.

Just to be safe, I radioed Miyata-san on the way, tipping him off about Harada.

Miyata-san knew his bad rep, so it went smoothly.

All good now.

…Maybe I should give Yukiko-chan some shuriken for self-defense?

I lit a cigarette while thinking it over.

Now, off to Shiiya High School!!