It’s Too Early to be Having Newlywed Syndrome! ~Childhood Friends Who Rekindled their Love for Each Other ~

This Might be My Final Love

“That day, I took the English language proficiency examination.

Then on the nearest train station to the test venue, there’s a group of high school girls, from their uniform I reckon they’re members of a track and field club, while shouting their school’s name they were running. They passed through the station, were they on the middle of running a marathon course? I’m not that knowledgeable about track and field clubs, though.

When I looked at them, I saw the person I had a crush on. Out of all of them she’s the only one I saw sparkling. There might be about five, seven or ten of them, I already forgot. But only one person was shining. I’m supposed to have poor vision, but it felt like I saw her clearly.

I was surprised, at first, I’m confused. Why is she here? Is she the real thing? Those things floated on my mind.

Then I thought, speaking of which, this train station, and the high school’s name they’re shouting, I happened to hear her talking about it in class when I happen to eavesdrop on one of her conversations. Next, I remembered her also being in the track and field club back in middle school. I thought, then it’s highly possible that the person I saw was really her, the reality of it gradually hit me, then my body suddenly started shivering.

My whole body was already rejoicing, I’m thinking lots of things such as I’m glad I saw her, or is this fate, and other things. You know, the feeling like you’re on the clouds?

However, I have no sense of direction. So that I would not be late to the examination, my mother travelled with me to the venue against my will. I wasn’t able to fully confirm if it really was that person or not. I was somewhat embarrassed. Then at that time I thought, don’t screw with me, it’s all mother’s fault.

Then after going back home, in order t confirm the face of the person I saw today, I opened my graduation yearbook. I looked at the photo, and they were indeed similar, if she really was the real deal, then I thought, I’m happy even if I just saw her in a day, I’m completely fine with it being my last memory of her. However, after that I happened to read the part where she wrote ‘Let’s keep each other posted’, when I read that, I was just as surprised as when I saw that person on the station. If I only remembered about it, then even with my mother around, I would’ve rushed at full speed to ask that person, I thought to myself that I went and ruined my chance. Even though I still have feelings for her after one and a half year, to forget about something so important like this, I was quite shocked as everything piled up one after another.

First, I was shocked that I still had feelings for her. Normally, when you think you would not be able to meet again, one’s feelings would have settled down even if just a bit, right? But my feelings for her didn’t diminish even by one bit. If that’s how much I love her, then wouldn’t it be impossible for me to fall in love with another person, I thought that this might be my final love, that what should I do if fifty years pass and I’m still in love with her, it was painful.

Secondly, I was shocked by the idea that I if I love her, I love her, and If I love her that much, then I should’ve reached out to her. She did take the time to write ‘Let’s keep each other posted’ anyway. I thought that there might be a possibility that she wrote it because she anticipated such a situation happening, and wrote it for my sake. Then, by forgetting something she wrote for me and not reaching out to her, ain’t I already too stupid? If I love her, I love her, if only I honestly recognized that, and frequently looked at my yearbook from time to time, then at the very least I wouldn’t have forgotten what she wrote. Even though I love her I half-assed it, right?

Moreover, before I knew it, I’ve been thinking that it was just my bad luck. However, I was actually lucky. Since just seeing her was already fortunate on my part. Thinking that it was my bad luck because my mother was there, or because I forgot her message in my yearbook, those are just trivial things.

You know, I have a habit of pretending to forget things I don’t like, always running away from it. On top of writing ‘Let’s keep each other posted’ and being able to see her again, that might’ve been my last great chance, but even so, I chalked it up to my mother being there and ran away from blaming myself for it. If it was that me back then, even if I habitually been looking at my yearbook, would I be able to call out to her, I imagined the situation back then with that setup, and I think the me with that thinking will still not be able to reach out to her. When I thought that, I thought myself really pathetic, then the tears just…… the tears just went out……”

Naoto’s voice choked up, and from his eyes large drops of tears dropped. Even Natsuki, who was holding back her tears, the tears suddenly flooded out in one breath, Natsuki embraced Naoto as hard as she could.

While sobbing, and with his utmost effort, Naoto managed to squeeze out of his mouth the words that he wanted to say the most.

“That’s why……that’s why that day. When Natsuki and I boarded the elevator at the same time, at that day, I decided that that will be my fated day. If I didn’t reach out to Natsuki today, then I won’t be able to for the rest of my life. It’s just that I’m that kind of guy, so today will be the last day I’ll be able to make up with Natsuki…… those were my thoughts that day, then finally…….when I thought that at the very least, I want Natsuki to be healthy and happy……finally, I was able to reach out to Natsuki.

Natsuki………I’m sorry it took so long for me to make up with you……”

“Don’t be, it’s all on me, I’m the one who’s in the wrong! I’m sorry, Nao-kun, I’m sorry……”

Until the tears from the two stopped, their friends kindly waited. Sakurako, while crying with the two of them, held hands and kept calling out to Natsuki. Aki, without saying anything, kept patting Naoto’s back. Iida silently gave his sincere blessings to the two of them.

For many, many times, Naoto and Natsuki repeatedly said ‘Thank you’ to everyone.

“———Haaa, allow me to apologize somehow.”

Naoto, who finally stopped crying, with his nose still clogged, muttered with a nasal voice.

“I was finally able to say the things I wasn’t able to tell Iida and Natsuki.”

“Isn’t it great that you finally able to let it out? Well, I would’ve been alright even if you didn’t concern yourself with me, though.”

Those were Iida’s true feelings.

“No, if only I did not forget about ‘Let’s keep each other posted’, then I thought of if I would be able to address Iida’s story at the least. I actually called Iida here today because I felt that I have to apologize for not being able to talk to that person during that time with the yearbook and that time when I saw her. I’m sorry I’ve been silent about it until now. I don’t really know why, but I just wasn’t able to tell you about it. It might be because I want to treasure that moment to myself, or just that I’m pathetic, or it might be a mix of different factors.”

Iida wasn’t able to be in an angry mood. Instead, he felt deeply ashamed of his own spinelessness,

“No, you don’t need to apologize. If only I had a proper talk with her on or before the day of our graduation ceremony, then this whole thing wouldn’t have been so complicated. Overall, this is all my fault.”

Iida contemplated.

“That’s right. When it comes to whose fault it was, Morita-kun is actually the victim here. It all became spiraling down when Iida-kun forced him to confess. If it didn’t all went down that day, you might still be on speaking terms with her.”

Sakurako agreed with Iida’s opinion.

“But, right now, I’m extremely thankful to Iida. If it’s not for him, I wouldn’t be able to reach out to Natsuki somehow. Those experiences did not go to waste, it seems.”

Iida, who had no clue about it,

“Did I do something?”

He asked Naoto.

“From when that person left the class early, and on the day of our graduation ceremony among other things, I already acquired lots of experiences regretting the fact that I wasn’t able to reach out to that person, armed with those experiences, I was somehow able to talk to Natsuki that day. If, right now, Natsuki’s been hospitalized or became disabled, I think I’ll be wholeheartedly regretful. I was very nervous and my heart was beating fast, but steeling myself even with the possibility of her hating me, I talked to her. Because of that, I kinda tricked her, though.

“What’s this about getting tricked?”

Natsuki stared vacantly.

“What I’m trying to say is, during yesterday, and even before that, Natsuki’s been saying how kind a person I am, but I’m not kind. Because in truth, before when the person I had a crush on had her health deteriorate, I wasn’t able to do anything kind to her. If I didn’t have such an experience beforehand, then I might not be able to gather up my courage when it happened to Natsuki. I’m a pretty cold person myself.”

“Eh? What do you mean?”

Natsuki replied with a question once more. The others also have a look of curiosity.

“A really good person will, even without those experiences of regret, go and help Natsuki out, right? Me, I only helped Natsuki because I don’t want to have the same regrets again, it’s just, I did it for self-satisfaction, is that the behavior of a kind person?”

“I don’t really know much about it, but when Natsuki’s condition worsened, Morita-kun did worry about her, right?”

Sakurako asked.

“I did worry about her, but I only started to take action because, when I saw that person after a long time, she was shining at that moment to me. I couldn’t forget about the person I had a crush on, so I assumed that I don’t have feelings of love for Natsuki. If that’s so, then it’s okay to force myself to call out to her, I don’t have any ulterior motives after all, that’s how I convinced myself. I told myself the reason I’m nervous is because Natsuki’s too cute, it’s not because I’m in love with her, I’ll be fine even if she ends up hating me. Because of various experiences and coincidences piling up one after the other, I was just able to somehow reach out to Natsuki. I might have just deceived my own feelings, or maybe it was half-desperation on my part.”

“But, if you look at it on the flipside, doesn’t that mean that Morita-kun properly became a kind person?”

Said Aki.

“Even though it took incredibly numerous factors for me to just barely call out to her? If Natsuki’s illness happened months later than when it happened, then it might become another regret for me since I might not be able to reach out to her, you know?”

“Well, even though you’re supposed to have no feelings for Natsuki, you still went and offered your help even knowing that you might get hated for it, isn’t that the hallmark of a very kind person? Even if you might’ve not been a kind person before, right now you have become a very kind person, you know. Even if it happened at a different month, I think you’ll still be able to get worried about her. What happened to you is called growing up, Morita-kun.”

“Growing up, huh. I’m glad if that’s what it is. But growing up just because you managed to call out to someone, isn’t that kind of pathetic?”

“That’s not pathetic. A person who’s able to grow up is cool.”

Natsuki said, clinging to Naoto’s arm.

“I wasn’t able to tell Natsuki about it since I’m afraid you’ll get disillusioned with me. But is that fine with you?”

“I’m not disillusioned. You’re a kind person.”

“Also, I’m still not sure if the feelings that I have for that person have completely disappeared. Even so, are you fine with that?”

“I’m fine with it. As long as you love me, I’m fine with it.”

“I love you. I love you very much.”

“Then, it’s fine. I thought you were hiding something even worse than that. Like, you’ve exchange contact info with each other and have been meeting many times.”

“I only met her that one time. Or rather than calling it a meeting, if it’s not the case of her seeing me and then just ignoring me, then that means I just happened to see her without her knowing. Besides, I don’t really know if that was really her.

It’s just that, even though at the very least, that was supposedly the last day I’m in love with that person, the speed at which I transitioned between that and falling in love with Natsuki is a bit strange, what kind of a situation I’m in right now, I don’t even know it myself. By any chance, I might have an ulterior motive towards Natsuki, so I just acted kind towards you because I wanted to go out with you, I just wanted to tell you that.”

“I’m perfectly fine with that. I won’t call that having an ulterior motive.”

“Thanks. I’m glad I was able to let everything out.”

“So you don’t have anything you haven’t told us yet?”

“None, I think. At least, I shouldn’t have anything else that feel like I had to tell you. I don’t even know if I have any secrets that I’m just not aware of yet, but if I remember anything, I’ll tell you immediately.”

Hearing Naoto’s words, Natsuki remembered something,

“Ah, I also have something I need to apologize about!”

She said in a panic.

“What is it?”

“I, kinda told everyone, that you have lots of used tissues in your trash bin!”

“Eh, say what?”

Seeing Naoto get dumbfounded by Natsuki’s words, the other three could not contain their laughter.