It Seems Like I Got Transmigated Into An Eroge - Chapter 29 : Conversation with Lily

The conversation I had with Master Irene had occurred a few days ago, and I’ve been contemplating whether or not I should talk to Lily about it. Over these past few days, she has continued to apologize to me. I’ve been wrestling with the idea of whether accepting her apology would be a wise choice, despite Master Irene’s explanations. It still feels somewhat foolish, but I can’t help feeling uneasy. Her persistent apologies are taking a toll on me.

Therefore, I’m considering having a conversation with her to hear her side of the story. Perhaps I’ve misunderstood her intentions. However, it will ultimately depend on her response, given that I know her way of thinking differs from that of a typical person.

“Sigh…”

The memory of the man being impaled by ice is still vivid in my mind. If I had not been careful, I might have suffered a similar fate. The last incident was the closest call, with a shard piercing through my abdomen. At that moment, my quintessence ran out precisely at the 30-second mark, allowing it to pierce me. I need to become more adaptable and think more thoroughly in any given situation. Just because I’m calm doesn’t mean I’m thinking clearly.

Furthermore, I need to consider my academic life. Atlas Academy, a prestigious school in the country, is where all academic and high-achieving individuals gather. I am certain that I will face discrimination at that academy.

Even if I join the research department, I will still attend classes normally, but my time will be different as I’ll be focusing all my time on researching. Plus, I can’t be in the same class as the other heroines or the protagonist and will be automatically sent into D Class due to the nature of the academic system, and partially because I’m manaless. 

Regardless of my efforts, if I’m identified as such; I’ll be forever like that. Besides, it’s better to keep a distance from the protagonist and her harem, so that my life wouldn’t be in danger. If the storyline of the game would progress like that in this world. But seeing Lily, I doubt that would happen.

Furthermore, the wet dreams I used to have suddenly disappeared. They were always about Clara or Master Irene, never Lily or Diana. It’s as if my mind is fixated on those two. This change occurred after I fully recovered from my injury.

Now, I am searching for Lily inside the mansion, but there are no traces of her anywhere. So, I decided to search outside the mansion, where an immense forest awaits me. There’s a chance that Lily is training in the woods, as I’ve checked all the training rooms.

Why am I so desperate to find her? It’s simple; there’s an inexplicable feeling in my chest that has been bothering me for a while. I need confirmation and one last chance to hear her side of the story. If she can’t provide a logical explanation, that’s it.

While traversing the forest, I stumble upon an aquamarine-blue stream of water. It springs over rocks, babbling and burbling. Soft light streams down from above, reflecting on all sides of the enormous ice pillar. It glistens like a thousand diamonds shining. There, I see Princess Lily with her long golden hair swaying in the cold breeze, standing on a large boulder.

I halt in my tracks, watching Lily practice her flawless spirit ice ability. At this point, I can’t help but wonder why she is practicing in the middle of nowhere. If she wanted a peaceful and quiet place, the training room should be sufficient, given that there are only a few of us living together in this large mansion.

Lily eventually stops and notices me, looking confused. Awkwardly rubbing my neck, I call out, “Let’s talk, Princess Lily!”

Lily leaps through the air and lands in front of me. “Um, okay. Let’s sit in the corner,” she says, pointing to a large log by the river. We sit down, maintaining some distance between us.

“Master Irene talked to me, so I’ve decided to listen to whatever excuse you have,” I told her.

“I wanted to apologize for the last time. I didn’t mean to harm you in any way, and I’m truly sorry about that. That time, I was genuinely jealous of you because—” Lily begins, appearing nervous and lowering her gaze.

I cut her off, saying, “Because of Master Irene, right? She already told me what happened. But if that’s your only reason, I won’t accept your apology. Such a shallow reason is hard to believe. I nearly lost my life twice because of you. If I hadn’t been lucky the first time, I would probably be dead by now. Even though I survived, I can’t simply pretend it never happened. I’m not that type of person, even if you’re royalty. I don’t care.”

Lily’s eyes welled up with tears as she said, “I’m really sorry…”

“Even if you cry, it won’t change my stance. Your impulsiveness almost killed an innocent person.”

“Sorry…”

“From the moment we first met, you knew I had no mana, yet you went all out against me. Have you ever considered the possibility that I might be using some sort of magic stone to enhance my physical abilities that you’re not aware of? Did that ever cross your mind?”

“No…”

“From my perspective, it felt less like a test and more like a threat. That’s why I find it hard to trust everything you say to me. Your attitude towards me was that of a proud and spoiled princess, and it felt threatening. Don’t blame me for interpreting it that way. If you’re truly sincere, I’ll give you one chance to explain everything to me,” I say, glancing at the tearful Lily.

Then I continue, “So, what made you change your attitude?”

“It was Master Irene… After I accidentally injured you, Master Irene spoke to me about why I did it. Of course, I told her it was an accident, but she didn’t believe me. She explained, ‘Your eyes betrayed a personal hatred and grudge against my disciple. If you can’t resolve that issue within yourself, I’ll send you back.'”

“So, it was for your own benefit? Who would have known—”

“No, it wasn’t! I truly didn’t mean to harm you, but I guess my personal grudge unconsciously affected my thinking, leading me to harm you unintentionally. Honestly, I was looking forward to another fight with you. That’s why I’m really grateful to Master Irene for allowing me to challenge you again. But I made a mistake during the fight, nearly killing you. That filled me with guilt. Master Irene already told me that no matter how many times I apologize, I can’t change what happened, and I regret it. I’m sorry…” Lily bows to me.

“Oh…” I’m taken aback by her words. I never expected Lily to be so sincere in her apology, let alone bow to me. Could it be because of Master Irene’s warning? However, I can sense genuine remorse in her.

“I’ve already inquired about your past from my father, and I’ve learned a lot about you. Despite being born without mana, you found a way to achieve success. You broke free from your limitations and kept moving forward. On the other hand, I feel trapped in my own past.”

I didn’t expect her to delve so deeply into her personal feelings. It piqued my interest.

“What past are you referring to?”

Lily remains silent for a moment.

“If you can’t talk about it, that’s fine. Besides, I don’t think I’m the right person to know—”

“No, I’ve learned about your past, so I should share mine. When I turned ten, my father threw a banquet in my honor…”

“Wait a minute. Is this…?”

“Many people from different places and races gathered because of it. It was my first banquet, and naturally, I was thrilled. However, something happened that traumatized me—a human male wonder—”

“Okay, stop. I don’t want to hear any more. You’ve been through a lot; please don’t force yourself.”

“But…”

“Please, just tell me why you admire Master Irene.”

I can’t bring myself to listen to her story because I feel like a jerk at this moment. Recalling all the thoughts I had back then makes me angry to the point where I want to punch myself in the face. Even though it happened a long time ago, I still have the audacity to use the event that scarred her life for my own selfish gains.

I’m a piece of shit. She’s a living person, for heaven’s sake. And yet, I treated her as if she were a tool I could use for my own self-satisfaction. She has feelings and emotions, just like me, living in the same world. I’m pathetic. Because of this, a strange tightness engulfs my chest.

“When that human male appeared, the one who saved me from that person was Master Irene. She’s the one who saved me.”

After saying that, my eyes widened in astonishment. “Master Irene did?”

“Yes, she’s the one whom I look up to, which is why I’m pursuing becoming like her. However, every time I recall what happened to me at that time, it still scares me. I think that’s the reason why I envy you so much. You were abandoned and manaless, but you overcame all of it. Then you went through a process that could have even led to you killing yourself, but you still did it—I envy everything about you,” Lily said with a small smile.

“I’m weak. Even though I made a promise to be a stronger person for my people, I know that I’m prideful and act arrogant. I can’t deny that. Father and Master Irene are the people who made me realize that part of me—a person who acts all mighty and entitled. I’m sorry for belittling you.”

“Not really. If I had known it, I wouldn’t have had the guts to accept it. Obviously, it made me angry at first, and I held a grudge against Master Irene because of that, but I learned how to accept it. It’s already done, so I can’t do anything about it other than accept it. Getting angry over something that’s already done is futile. No matter what I do, I can never bring back the past.”

“Wrong, I haven’t done anything.”

“Huh—?” Lily looked at me, dumbfounded.

“Master Irene told me that my journey had just begun after that, so I can’t say I did anything special or achieved anything. If you consider overcoming my past an outstanding achievement, it’s not. It’s about understanding and accepting what happened in your life, learning to live with it. I mean, we’re still kids, and a lot of things will happen to us from now on. You just need to accept reality for what it is. I’m not as great a person as you may think I am. I have a lot of room for improvement.”

“…”

“Learn from your past and improve or forget about it. Don’t dwell too much on the past, as it will affect your journey ahead in life. It was Master Irene who said that to me. I’m going to engrave that phrase into my mind.”

I chuckled and continued. “She may be a lousy guardian for me since she’s mostly absent all the time, and she’s not a great teacher either. I learned nothing in the past year and relied on Clara’s unorthodox way of teaching, but she did help me learn how to properly hold a sword and showed me how it’s done. So I copied it. Now that I realize, it’s probably her way of telling me…”

The advice I’m giving to Lily turned into a story-telling/rant.

“I don’t even know what the hell Master Irene has been doing in her office all day. I seldom see her during those days. She’ll just come out of her office once or twice a week, not even eating dinner or breakfast; I’m always eating with Clara. Regardless of her past actions, right now, I have a newfound respect for Master Irene when she started instructing me these past few days. I’m perplexed whenever she points out my train of thought when fighting. It’s ridiculous.”

“Even after just a few days of teaching, she has pointed out all my bad habits, and she would give me insights on how to properly correct them. She’s better than I thought. Now that I think about it… How the heck can she do that… Can she read minds? Is she a psychic?” I’m holding my chin, pondering my thoughts.

Lily was listening to me obediently.

“Anyway, forgive me for digressing. At some point in my stay here, I did hold a grudge against Master Irene because she can’t teach, and her shenanigans really piss me off, but I learned to just deal with it—she must have a reason for it. I’m still grateful to her, even though it was mostly Clara who took care of me, but you get the point.”

“I’m not going to be choosy since Master Irene can provide everything for me and can protect me. I’m from the Belmont Family, which means they can still monitor my movements. I’m just being careful about it. I don’t know what kind of plan they have for me, but as long as Master Irene is my backer, I’ll be safe. That’s why I’ve learned to accept. Simple as that. I don’t mean that you can instantly do it. That’s why I’m only looking forward more than looking back at what has already happened.”

“I see…”

“You see, I just want to live. I’m scared. I mean, everyone is. I value my own life more than anything, and I value the people who are kind to me too. At first, Master Irene suggested that I could still live in my house or here. But I chose to stay here. In the end, it’s still my decision. Haha, looks like I talked a bit too much.” I smiled.

A while later, we stayed in silence for a while, contemplating things.

“Haha, thank you. I can’t believe I was a jerk to you. Forgive me.” Lily bowed her head.

“Hm? What are you thanking me for?”

“The things you said to me were an eye-opener. I’ll try my best to overcome it. And please forgive me for last time. It wasn’t really my intention.” Lily smiled with tears falling from her eyes.

I can’t stay mad because I’m filled with guilt inside my chest. Guilt has taken over my anger.

I chuckled. “Haha, let’s have a rematch then. If you beat me next time, I’ll accept your apology. How does that sound?”

“Deal!”

I then raised my fist toward her.

“What’s that?”

“This is called a ‘fist bump.’ It’s a way of saying we’re cool and all. We pump our fists together.”

“Oh!” Lily then raised her fist and bumped it into mine.

“So we’re good now?” Lily added.

“Yeah, but if you do it again, there’s no next time. You’ve got two strikes, lady, one more strike and you’re out.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s a metaphor that means you only have one last chance.”

“Oh.”

After a moment of silence, we laughed together.

I still have a lot of things I need to improve, like my attitude and behavior. ‘This world is not a game.’ I need to engrave that into my brain.

Soon after, Lily and I started heading back to the mansion as the sky began to darken. However, while on our way, Lily mentioned something that would blow my mind.

“Claude.”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you and sorry.”

“I mean, at least now, you can change.”

“Yeah, thank you… Although, I’m still perplexed that Master Irene took a male human and even let you live here.”

“Why’s that?”

“Of course, because she’s a succubus. She didn’t tell you?”

“Huh—?”