Vol 3 Chapter 40 – Because in the end, I’m nothing but a puny human.

Leaving the Demon Lord’s room, I head toward the library to study with Garon-san for the first time in a while.

Spending time with the cute Garon-san will surely help calm my nerves.

“Coming in~”

“Glad you could make it, welcome. Here, here, come over to me.”

Eva-san was beckoning me over, so I immediately turned on my heel.

Come to think of it, isn’t this her home turf? What was I thinking? I should change my study spot.

I’ll just ask Puria-san or someone to pass a message to Garon-san later…

“Wait. It’s quite rude to turn around and leave the moment you see someone’s face, isn’t it?”

“Ah, well, I suppose you have a point.”

“Yes, as long as you understand. By the way, I have a favor to ask…”

“No thanks.”

“I may have lost our bet, but I still want you. Making a woman say such things… you’re quite the sinful man. Don’t you agree?”

Listen to what I’m saying.

“Is that so.”

“What a cold man you are. Do you really not even want to speak with me?”

“Let’s have a conversation after you throw away that syringe hidden in your pocket. I might feel a little more inclined to talk then.”

“Oh my, you’re unexpectedly observant. Still, it hurts to be doubted. This is just a nutritional supplement. Nothing suspicious at all.”

“I can’t trust a person who lies as easily as they breathe.”

“All women are liars. Come now, if you want to know more about women, come over here… ah, hey.”

Slam.

I shut the door.

At the very least, this place has become a death trap for me.

It was a comfortable spot, and I have memories here with Garon-san, so it’s a shame, but I’ll avoid coming near here as much as possible from now on.

But man, what the hell. My sanity points were already dropping thanks to the Demon Lord, and now they’ve been chipped away even more. If I don’t see someone soothing right this second, I’m going to lose it.

Of the people I know, the soothing ones are Puria-san or Garon-san, with Selphi-san getting a passing grade…

“Oh my, Nine-chan. You’re alive. Welcome back.”

…It’s El-sama. I’d like to include her in the soothing category too, but her face looks exactly like Chris’s.

I really don’t want to talk right now.

“Yes, yes, I’ve returned in disgrace. Come to think of it, we promised to play when I got back, didn’t we? Shall we play horsey? There’s an adult way and a child’s way, which do you prefer?”

“I’m still a child, so I suppose the child’s way would be best.”

Damn it.

“Understood. Your older sister was just indulging in that earlier, actually. Well then, hop on my back…”

“I don’t want to right now. Let’s play some other time.”

Oh, how unexpected. Did she end up hating me? Did I really just get brushed off with polite lip service by a little girl like this?

Some other time. I wonder how many men have swallowed bitter pills believing those words… Even at this tender age, a woman is still a witch, after all…

“…Don’t misunderstand. It’s just a bad time right now.”

“Ah, my apologies then.”

“…Seems you’re still misunderstanding.”

“? Um, what do you mean?”

“I mean it’s a bad time for you. You might understand if you look in a mirror.”

…For a brat, she sure knows how to speak in riddles.

“…What is it, do I have trash on my face or something?”

“If it were the you from when we first met, I think you would’ve said something a bit more clever.”

“…………”

“I hate it when you’re just putting up a front. If it’s the you who loves me, then I’ll talk with you properly.”

…Now I get it. The biggest witch in this castle is this cheeky little brat.

“Next time we meet, have a slightly cuter smile for me, okay? Not a plastered-on face like that.”

“…I’ll do my best.”

“The intense, glaring you is nice too, but I prefer the slightly gentler you. See you later.”

With that, Electra walked away.

Truly, without showing a single ounce of lingering attachment.

What I cast on her was only a provisional contract done without Tia-sama present, so I knew the effect would be weak, but… I feel a bit lonely, yet somehow saved at the same time.

…I had given her some words of advice.

“By repeating questions and answers, you can draw closer to the truth.”

It’s one of my personal mottos, but knowing her, she might just realize the true meaning behind why I gave her those words.

When that happens, she probably won’t forgive me.

If I end up being killed by her, someone who looks exactly like Chris, how will I feel in that moment?

I’m actually looking forward to it a little.

…No, wait. That’s messed up. I’m supposed to love her. Why am I having such cruel thoughts?

Why would I even imagine a scenario like that?

…Thinking things like this about Electra is strange.

As I thought, I’m really not normal right now.

I need to get back to my neutral state as soon as possible.

Laughing frivolously, I broke into a run toward my bed. My facial muscles were twitching in spasms.

It’s no use, today is just a cursed day. At this rate, I won’t be able to control myself.

Forget about Garon-san for today. I’ll properly greet her again tomorrow. I might get punched for it, but it can’t be helped. Today is a lost cause. I can’t even be myself. Everyone is making me so unstable.

Just as I tried to head straight back to my bed in the jail cell, I made eye contact with one of the prisoners I had brought in, who was currently being dragged away by a demon.

I feel like he said something to me, but it’s no use, the words wouldn’t register.

I could tell he was cursing me over and over with a face contorted beyond belief, but I couldn’t hear his voice.

I can’t afford to have regrets. I’m on the demons’ side now, remember? Because I already betrayed humanity and became an ally to the demons. I just need to hurry up and sleep and forget it all.

Look, plenty of people have died because of me already, haven’t they? From now on, I’m going to swallow down these voices of resentment and live peacefully alongside everyone in the demon race.

Isn’t that why I went out of my way to come to Agusta in the first place?

Dammit, this is all Chris’s fault.

If she… if I just hadn’t seen her face. No, wait, Christela-sama isn’t to blame. If I hadn’t gone and visited that grave and remembered unnecessary things, there wouldn’t have been any problems at all.

“Yo, it’s you, huh. Heard the news. Ya did real good.”

Right on the verge of hurriedly fleeing the area, I was called out to by one of the demons gripping the prisoner by the scruff of the neck.

It’s Minotaur-san, someone whose face I’ve seen in the dining hall a few times.

“Thanks to you, I get to eat a feast too. Much obliged.”

When I instinctively looked at his face, he had narrowed his eyes, directing a genuine, heartfelt smile right at me.

Ah.

Ah, what the hell have I done?