Vol 1 Chapter 14 – Alice’s Diary 1

Excerpt from the private diary of Intelligence Agent Alice Crux.

“Just as I was about to ask Aroma-sama to do something about that old hag elf, she asked me to run an errand.

I bought her stomach medicine exactly as she asked, but then she told me to bring her a meal.

I brought her the meal exactly as she asked, but next she told me to bring her some tea.

I brought her the tea exactly as she asked, but she said it was lukewarm and threw it at me.

Aroma-sama is so mean, but I love her.

Aroma-sama seemed to be in a better mood after a while, which was a relief.

Besides, from what I heard, it sounds like we’ll be able to kick that human out soon anyway.

Yay!

But in the end, she told me to keep observing the target.

She said she’d keep that old hag elf in check for me, but honestly, it’s such a pain now. So annoying.

Though Aroma-sama is always saying things are a pain, too.

I guess even when you become a big shot, you still have to deal with annoying stuff.

Do your best, Aroma-sama!

Come to think of it, I talked with Puria for a bit.

Apparently, she was chosen as the overseer for the game Aroma-sama mentioned.

I think we should just secretly kill a human like that, but apparently, the Demon Lord and the others are complaining about it.

I respect the Demon Lord, but causing trouble for Aroma-sama is a bit unacceptable. Bad.

My role as a watcher is supposed to be a secret, so I’ll be working while hiding from Puria, too.

Since I have the chance, I might as well keep an eye on how Puria does her job.

Also, I was told to report back immediately if Puria starts acting weird.

It seems Aroma-sama is still worried about the incident with Electra-sama.

I definitely agree it’s weird for someone like her to be obsessed with a human.

I wonder if she ended up falling for him.

If she really caught feelings for a human, that’s just stupid.

Well, they said there were no traces of magic, so I think it’s fine.

What could a mere human possibly do anyway?

The Demon Lord should just hurry up and massacre all the humans already.

I’ll make sure to laugh as much as I can watching that human tremble in fear of death.

If he hurries up and dies, my workload will go down too.”

The rest of the page remains blank.

Vol 1 Chapter 15 – The Faithless One

“And that’s what it’s come to.”

“Huh.”

“Don’t just say ‘huh.’ Acting like it’s someone else’s problem. Does this guy even get it?”

The glamorous werewolf in front of me, Garon Vermillion, muttered in a hushed, irritated tone.

Since she had graced my underground Dungeon bed with a midnight visit, I welcomed her with a pounding heart, thinking the time for my first experience had finally come.

I thought my Honesty John was going to go in and out of Garon-san’s Secret Garden while my friend Wilson watched over us, resulting in a perfectly happy ending.

I really have to question women who string guys along. I really do.

Like, is she a total femme fatale? Keeping a guy on the hook by baiting him like this is totally uncool, right? Totally bogus, right? Seriously, gag me. Major buzzkill.

While thinking such things, I pressed my face against the iron bars and showed off my best duck face, only to have my lips pulled with enough force to rip them right off.

Thanks to her, I am currently experiencing an unprecedented swollen-lip time. I don’t mind if you kiss me, you know?

Well, whatever. Listening to her story, it seems my life is in serious danger.

Thanks to Aroma-san and Eva-san, my life is depleting at mach speed.

What a predicament.

“Making a face like ‘What a predicament’ is useless. Try thinking about this a little more seriously.”

“Soooorrry ’bout thaaaat~”

“I’m done.”

Saying that, Garon-san started to rise from her cross-legged position.

Noooo, I need you, Garon-san!

“Wait, wait, please wait! You sprang this on me all of a sudden, so I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

“It was a complete surprise to me, too. I wouldn’t have blown up at them like that otherwise.”

“Ah, you mean what you said yesterday? I was moved by those words. What was it again? ‘Don’t look at other women! Look only at me!’? I completely understand, Garon-senseeeeei.”

“I’m going home.”

Garon-san tried to stand up again.

I told you to wait. Ah, I can see her underwear through the gap in her shorts. Gray, huh? How sporty. But I bet pink would actually look surprisingly good on her.

“I said please wait! It’s troubling how short-tempered Garon-sensei is.”

“There won’t be a next time.”

Saying that, Garon-san sat back down.

You say that, buuut~

You actually don’t hate this kind of thing, do you? You little tease.

If I say that out loud, she really will go home, so I’ll keep my mouth shut.

“So? You used to be at a slave merchant’s place, right? Don’t you have any connections or know-how for gathering humans?”

“Oh my. Yesterday you were talking as if you completely despised that kind of business.”

“Werewolves never abandon their pack. And, for better or worse, you are my student. I’ll give you a little bit of special treatment. Besides, the way Aroma is doing things this time isn’t right.”

“Oh stop, you’re making me blush. Has your affectionate phase finally arrived? What a dilemma. Can’t we just stay friends?”

“I believe I said there wouldn’t be a next time.”

“I’m sorry, please don’t abandon me! The politics are to blame! It was just a momentary lapse of judgment!”

No, but seriously.

When she hits me with such straightforward words completely out of nowhere, even I’m going to blush. Truly.

It’s nice that Garon-san is so deeply affectionate, but she’s going to get tricked by a bad man, you know?

I’m a virgin so I don’t really know, but is this the part where I should go on the offensive? Is it okay for me to turn into a carnivore right now?

Against a faithless person having thoughts like that, I think Garon-san, who is still staying here with me, is a genuinely good person.

Her attitude is completely different from when we first met. I wonder if my love has finally gotten through to her.

Tia-sama’s teachings really are amazing. This is way more effective than a masterclass. Nothing beats love.

“Alright then, I’ll speak seriously.”

“You should have done that from the start.”

“I have no connections and no know-how.”

“You don’t have any?! You weren’t phased in the slightest, so I thought you had something up your sleeve!”

“But well, I’ll figure something out.”

“Really? I just can’t bring myself to trust your words. You only ever spout random bullshit.”

“I’m telling the truth. When Garon-sensei is worrying about me this much, there’s no way I’d do anything to make you sad.”

“Hmph, I’m not worried about you. See? Your words really are incredibly shallow.”

While saying that, Garon-san’s tail was giving a little wag, which I thought was incredibly cute.

Well, from her perspective, I’m probably just being treated like a pet.

But that’s fine.

I just have to love her back to the absolute fullest to make up for it. In exchange, please let me keep acting spoiled like this… Garon-Mama?

“Well, just do what you can. I’m forbidden from directly lending a hand, but I’ve got free time, so if there’s anything I can do, I’ll help you out.”

“Thank you very much. Just leave it to me.”

“Yeah. Anyway, tomorrow Aroma is going to explain the details, so… hey, what are you doing?”

“First, I’m practicing my dogeza.”

“Crying and begging won’t work on them, idiot! You really are an idiot!”

The one who says idiot is the idiot~

“I never thought you’d actually do it.”

With a hand placed against her forehead, Garon-san spoke with an expression of profound exasperation.

Currently, inside Aroma-san’s office, everyone from Her Majesty the Demon Lord Christela to every other demon whose name I knew was lined up.

And right in front of all those faces, I was currently executing a spectacular dogeza.

If anything, I was rubbing my head against the floor with the resolve to even lick Aroma-san’s beautiful legs if permitted.

“Doing such a thing is useless. As I said earlier, starting today, you have one month to gather two hundred humans. Bring them all here without missing a single one.”

“Yes, Ma’am. However, if a weakling like me were to go out there with nothing but the clothes on my back, I would simply end up as monster food.”

Monsters.

Lower lifeforms used as familiars by the demons. Grotesque beasts said to be either mutated animals or biological weapons created by the demons.

Strangely enough, these creatures only target and attack humans. The Church of Saria defines these creatures, which are far more “demonic” than the demons themselves, as monsters.

“I have already considered that aspect. Selphi, come here.”

“…”

The cross-dressing beauty, a painfully shy vampire. Selphi-san appeared soundlessly from behind Aroma-san.

“Go on, Selphi.”

“!”

Prompted by Aroma-san, Selphi-san slowly approached with her head down, casting fleeting, upward glances at me.

“!”

Chomp. While I was still prostrating, she sank her fangs directly into my shoulder.

“N-Nooo! There’s an order to these things! First, we have to exchange diaries!”

“What are you panicking about? She is doing this for your sake.”

“Personally, I would prefer it if the sample was not damaged too much.”

With Eva-san saying such things with her usual hazy expression in the background, I was currently writhing in agony.

“Ow, ow, ow! Isn’t this the part where it’s traditionally supposed to feel good?! Bram Stoker is a liar! This hurts like hell! Ah, aha, but somehow the pain feels kind of good.”

“P-P-P-Pervert! Your Majesty, it isn’t too late. We really should hand this guy over to Eva!”

“A minor abnormal fetish is within acceptable parameters. Calm down, Aroma.”

As expected of the Demon Lord, she really understands. Ow, it still hurts!

This is no joke. Hee-hee-hoo. Hee-hee-hoo.

Oh crap. That slurping sound is super erotic.

Since Selphi-san is on all fours sucking my blood, I can see right down her cleavage.

They’re surprisingly large. What a feast for the eyes. Ah, this is bad, my consciousness is starting to fade.

“Selphi. That should be enough. Is the engraving complete?”

“…”

“Selphi?”

“…”

“S-Selphi! You’re sucking too much! At this rate…”

“!”

“It’s no use, she can’t hear me! Garon-san, pull Selphi off him!”

“You damn vampire bat, what the hell are you doing?! Get off!”

Smack! With a satisfying sound, Garon-san slapped Selphi-san on the back of the head.

“!”

“Don’t give me that ‘It was unexpectedly delicious so I couldn’t help myself’ look! Do you have no sense of reason?!”

“!”

“You bitch, did you just call me a stray dog?!”

Please, you two, don’t fight over me!

Is what I thought.

But what stopped Garon-san from grabbing her at any moment was a single word from Chris.

“Both of you, step back.”

“Ojou, but!”

“! !”

“I said step back.”

Told off like that, both of them reluctantly stopped glaring at each other and took a step back.

“Thank you, Your Majesty. Human, Selphi just engraved a monster-warding crest onto you.”

Told that by Aroma-san, I checked using a hand mirror she passed me. A circular, complex, and incomprehensible symbol—probably what you’d call a magic circle—had appeared on my skin.

Since the area where I was bitten still felt weird, I touched it and found it sticky with Selphi-san’s saliva.

What a reward. I’ll hold off on bathing for a while.

Seeing me grinning, Aroma-san furrowed her brows as if to say, ‘How disgusting.’

“With that, monsters will no longer attack you. But just because you can go outside doesn’t mean you can escape, so don’t even think about it.”

Saying that, Aroma made eye contact with Puria, who was waiting in the back.

“Yo, Nine. I’ll be playin’ yer overseer, so nice to meetcha.”

Puria-san called out to me with a vulgar, suggestive laugh.

Since this harpy is a pure hedonist, she probably doesn’t care as long as it seems fun. She probably thinks of this whole ordeal as nothing more than getting a front-row seat to watch a game.

Damn it, just you watch.

“Puria-han, yer lackey’s in a right spot of trouble. Do somethin’ ’bout it, won’tcha?”

“Ain’t gonna happen. I’m the type to roll with the big dogs. By the way, cut the crap with that way of talkin’. You mockin’ the words of my hometown?”

“Whatever do ya mean~? I reckon I’m just peachy~”

“The hell, punk? You pickin’ a fight? You pickin’ a fight, ain’tcha?”

“Oh my, how scary~. This birdie is so scary~”

“You little shit, I’m gonna kill you!”

The one I can rely on here is, of course, our Demon Lord!

Just like with Garon-san and Selphi-san earlier, she’ll expertly keep her in check!

Authority is wonderful!

Please, give her a piece of your mind!

“Do it, Puria. His attitude just now was deeply unpleasant.”

As expected of the Demon Lord, she really underst—wait, huh? Something’s wrong here.

Smash! Bam!

I nearly died.

Such a basic girl (lol).

After getting brutally beaten by Puria-san (and nobody stopped her until Eva-san chimed in, saying it would be problematic if the sample was damaged any further. This is absolutely messed up!), Aroma-san continued her explanation to my physically and mentally battered self.

“Well, I’m sure you already know this. The central area of Ista, located to the west of here, is already within our sphere of influence, so many monsters inhabit the area. There are small villages scattered around, but even if you went around rounding them up, gathering two hundred would be difficult.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“The southern part of Agusta has many key trading posts along the inland sea. If you are going to purchase humans, that might be your most realistic option. Well, doing so without a single penny to your name will be difficult, though.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Eastern Agusta. The border checkpoint with Indira cannot be passed without a transit permit. However, there are rumors that those who lost political struggles and the like have gathered to form settlements on the Agusta side, so I suppose that would be an all-or-nothing gamble.”

“I see, I see.”

“Regarding your travel, I was intending to have Puria assist you, but whether or not she actually cooperates is entirely up to you. Though with your behavior just now, that possibility has likely vanished.”

Puria-san was glaring absolute daggers at me. It’s my own fault, sure, but I definitely messed up.

Well whatever, things will work out somehow.

I already achieved my objective, anyway. As long as monsters don’t attack me, that’s all that matters.

“I understand the gist of it. By the way, what about travel expenses or food?”

“As if we would give you any. Procure them on-site or earn the money yourself.”

If you think about this normally, it’s a completely unwinnable checkmate. Just how much do they hate me?

“Consider this matter a penalty for laying your hands on El. If you can complete this condition, we will formally make you our subordinate this time.”

“Your Majesty.”

Aroma-san looked as if she wanted to say, ‘Please don’t offer such overly generous words,’ to Christela, who had bestowed those thankful words upon me.

“Thank you very much. Now that you’ve said that, this Nine feels like he has the strength of a hundred men.”

Saying that, I bowed my head.

I have a general plan in mind, so I should be fine. I was planning to have Garon-san help me out, but now that I have a monster-warding crest, I don’t need her to anymore.

Alright, this time, I think I’ll have the little fox girl who’s been sneaking around observing me lend a helping hand.

While I was thinking that, El-sama, who had been hiding behind Christela, called out to me for the first time since I got here.

“Hey, Nine-chan.”

“I am honored that you remembered my name. It’s been a while, El-sama.”

“Yeah, it’s been a while. Can I ask you just one thing?”

“Please, please, ask anything you like.”

“Why do you look so happy?”

“…”

Without thinking, I rubbed my own face.

Looking around, everyone wore bewildered expressions, meaning it really was an unexpected question.

“Hey, El, this guy doesn’t look like that at all. To begin with, this isn’t exactly a situation to be enjoying.”

Garon-san spoke up, but El-sama didn’t take her eyes off me.

“Did I look happy to you?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I’m sure I must be.”

“Even though it’s your own feelings, you don’t know?”

“Things like that happen sometimes.”

“I see.”

Saying that, El-sama looked down.

“Do your best. And, when you come back, will you play with me again?”

“Yes, I’d love to.”

Saying that, I left the room alongside Puria-san, who was still sulking and looking away, in order to set out on my departure.

In the room now devoid of the human and the harpy, Eva spoke to Electra.

“El, why did you ask such a thing?”

“That boy told me once. ‘By repeating questions and answers, you draw closer to the truth.’ But, yes. Sometimes you don’t even understand yourself. Or perhaps, right now, there is simply no answer. Maybe things like that happen.”

“…”

Eva stared at the door the two of them had exited through.

Those teachings were the words that formed the foundation of Spirit Arts—arts that were now entirely lost.

To gaze at oneself, to gaze at others, to gaze at the world, and to eliminate the things one does not know and cannot understand one by one, in order to draw closer to the true essence of nature.

“He is fascinating after all. I want him.”

Eva Karma was a machine designed to collect knowledge.

And spirits were nature itself; they were wisdom.

Eva, unable to comprehend the difference between knowledge and wisdom, would one day commit a fatal mistake.