Vol 1 Chapter 1 – Prologue

That evening. I remember it being terribly cold, even though it was still autumn.

“Sorry to keep you waiting. So this is where you were.”

This is the last one. I picked up the final piece I had finally found; it was awfully light. That lightness was inexplicably frustrating, so even though no one was watching, I readjusted my grip with both hands to carry it as if it were especially heavy.

It had been raining non-stop since yesterday. The ground beneath my feet was muddy, and yet, the stench still permeated the area.

No, that’s not it. My nose has just stopped working. This stench of blood won’t ever wash away.

Looking ridiculous, I leaned back as if clutching a heavy load against my chest, walking bow-legged. Even though I had lived in this village for years, it looked like a completely different place now. Still, enough traces remained that I reached my destination without getting lost.

“I finally found Dad. Sorry it took so long, Mom.”

Saying that, I gently placed my father’s head next to my mother’s inside the communal grave—which was really just a hole—where everyone else in the village was already resting. It had been stomped on and kicked so many times that it was distorted, with various things spilling out, but it was still my dad.

Dad was a true hero. He charged at those bastards first, and he was the first to die. He didn’t even last ten seconds. He was a hero.

I peered down into the hole. Because this would probably be the last time I saw everyone.

To the ones I found first, you’re at the bottom, so it might be heavy, but I’m sorry.

Yuri-san, Hanna-san, Gusto-san… I couldn’t even find a single fragment of you in the end. I’m sorry.

I just… really wanted to find Dad’s head, at least. I played favorites.

I’m sorry, everyone. It’s cramped, but please bear with it.

But, you aren’t lonely, right?

Thinking that, I felt relieved that I could finally make it look like a proper grave, and began covering them with dirt. Even though they were being covered by earth and their forms were gradually disappearing, for some reason, my memories of them were coming back clearer than ever.

“Mick, I put Natsu right next to you. You probably didn’t know, but Natsu didn’t actually mind you. Yeah, I wouldn’t lie about that.”

“Tina-san, I’m sorry I ended up seeing you naked. You must have been in the middle of a bath… those guys have terrible timing. But you know, you’re still as beautiful as ever.”

“Paula, you never did return that book I lent you. Well, I guess I kept yours too, in the end.”

“Man, you all left me behind. Getting to go be by the spirits’ side… I might be a little jealous.”

“…Still, it’s way too soon. Tony was just born, for crying out loud. There’s supposed to be an order to these things.”

Talking too much is my fatal flaw. I used to chatter away during meals and get a fist to the head from Dad for it. Though I don’t think I ever had a habit of talking to myself.

Even if no one was listening, I wanted someone to hear me. Even though there’s no one left.

Ah, man, my fingers hurt so much. Those bastards took every farming tool and anything else useful, so I had to dig the hole with my bare hands. I only have two fingernails left. And my arms and legs… they’ve gotten all stringy and stiff from hauling everyone over from all over the place.

It’s raining, too.

And it’s cold.

“Ah, if it was going to rain, I wish it had started sooner.”

“Then digging the hole would have been a little easier.”

“I might have been able to make a grave for each of you individually.”

“I mean really, it’s freezing.”

“Ah, am I being annoying? Sorry.”

“No, but really, you guys are playing dirty.”

“I guess it’s not playing dirty. Sorry.”

“…Say something. It’s just me talking… I look like an idiot.”

“Anyone, please, just say something.”

Answer me. Listen to me. Why aren’t you here? I worked so hard, didn’t I? I sweat buckets digging that hole in this cold, and you guys were pretty heavy, you know.

Praise me.

…Or scold me, I don’t care which.

Muttering to myself, cursing all sorts of things, I properly returned everyone to the earth.

No tears came out.

After I finished covering them with dirt, I rolled a large stone onto the grave and carved everyone’s names into it. It felt lonely, like I was being left out of the group with my name missing, so I carved mine too. …It’s fine. There’s no one left to call my name anymore, anyway.

—Finding everyone in the village had been an ordeal.

It was a depressing task, and every time I found someone, I threw up. More than anything, since they were scattered all over the place, doing it mindlessly ended up taking me three whole days.

Once it finally settled down, I thought, Ah, I guess this is good enough for now.

On top of the wreckage that used to be my bed, inside the wreckage that used to be my house, I wrapped myself in a tattered blanket. The scent of the remains of Dad, Mom, and everyone else still lingered, but I didn’t want to let it escape, so I pulled the blanket completely over my head. But, physiologically, I just couldn’t stomach that smell, and I threw up.

…It doesn’t even keep the rain out. It really is cold.

I’m hungry. I wonder what I’ll do for food starting tomorrow.

Hey, Mom.