In a World of Reversed Chastity, I’m Surrounded by a Clingy Older Woman, a Walking Red Flag, and an Exhausted Office Lady - 5

Chapter 5: A Prince Appeared Before Me, Yua’s POV

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It would be fair to say that I had grown tired of life. At work, I had been troubled by human relationships. Was it that they didn’t like the way I looked, or that they disliked my personality? For one reason or another, work was often pushed onto me, and it was painful. At times, there was even violence.

Even the music I had loved since I was little—though I was allowed to perform at street lives and live houses—showed no sign of ever gaining popularity. The songs I uploaded online were the same. If they reached a few thousand plays, that was already good. They never took off and showed no growth at all. I had lived thinking, Someday, surely… but in the end, I simply didn’t have any talent.

Little by little, I accepted that this was all I amounted to, belittling myself as someone who would never stand on a grand stage. Day by day, I felt myself rotting away. I hated it, yet it was always the same repetition, and nothing ever worked out.

What should I do? How could I change things? I struggled and thrashed about, but in the end, I could do nothing. I was completely bound and stuck. And then, as if to strike me again while I was down, the man I believed I was dating said to me…

“You’ve been bad about paying lately, and I don’t need you anymore. See ya.”

And just like that, he cut me off one-sidedly.

I had been foolish enough to think we were mutually dating when in reality it had only been one-sided on my part, and that made me hate myself even more. I was tired. I didn’t want to do anything anymore. I wanted relief as soon as possible.

So last night, I finally made up my mind and tried to kill myself. But I was half-hearted about everything in life, and in the end, I didn’t even have the courage to go through with it. Dragging my heavy feet home, I noticed my key was missing. I must have dropped it somewhere.

I called the landlord, but the landlord told me to wait until tomorrow. I didn’t even feel like retracing my steps to look for the key, so I just sat blankly in front of the door, thinking about the anxious future ahead of me. And then, suddenly, it appeared before me.

“Um, are you okay?”

A prince appeared for me. I woke up feeling many times more refreshed than usual. My body moved the way I wanted, and although my heart had been so gloomy, now it felt considerably lighter. When I looked around, the color of the walls and ceiling hadn’t changed, but the interior and cleanliness of the room were clearly different.

“So it wasn’t a dream.”

The moment I recognized again that yesterday had been real, I felt my heartbeat grow stronger and stronger. And when I remembered that gentle face, my chest tightened painfully. No man had ever treated me that kindly before.

Back in my student days, there had been an average of four or five male students in the classroom, and I had interacted with them to some degree. But somewhere in their attitudes, I could see through it…

“The men are above, and you women are below.”

That sentiment had been transparent. I hated it. I knew it was wrong. But there weren’t many men around, and I had strongly wanted to experience a romance like in manga or dramas, so in college I dated a man for the first time.

Looking back now…

“I’ll go out with you.”

To have dated such a disgusting, condescending man and even thought of killing myself over him… How foolish I had been. He saw me as nothing more than a convenient wallet. Even though we were dating, we never went anywhere, and I wasn’t even allowed to kiss him. I was only allowed to hold hands.

When I asked him why…

“You look kind of like a slut, so I don’t want to catch some disease.”

…That was the vile, prejudice-filled reason he gave. It was true that I had six piercings and an inner color in my hair, but I had never had any experience at all.

Even so, when he gave me such a horrible reason, I was still happy just to be able to hold hands with him. That alone satisfied me, and I acted like his girlfriend. I could now laugh and say I had been incredibly stupid.

So what if I had been dumped by such a trash, worthless man? That was how I felt now. If you asked why, there was only one reason.

My neighbor-kun.

Meeting Shirasu-kun yesterday had allowed me to learn what a real boy was like. It might sound ridiculous to say that when not even a full day had passed since we met, but what Shirasu-kun did for me yesterday had been that significant. 

I had known him before, but I hesitated, thinking that a woman like me speaking to him might be taken as a crime, so I had never talked to him. I never imagined that we would start talking because of my suicide attempt. I never thought a day would come when I could look back on the past so refreshed. And the one who made me feel that way was now sleeping beside me…

“Huh!? He’s not here?”

He wasn’t sleeping there. Looking around, I found a piece of paper and a spare key on the table where we had eaten dinner together last night.

『Good morning, Shinonome-san. I have class from the first period, so I’m leaving the house first. I’m leaving the spare key here, so please use it to lock up when you leave. You can just return the key later.

P.S. There’s a little leftover from last night’s dinner. It might not be enough, but please eat it. It made me really happy when you said it was delicious.』

That was what it said. The moment I finished reading it and understood the meaning… A sharp, squeezing pain gripped my chest. My heart thumped hard, and a tight, fluttering sensation filled my lower abdomen. I instinctively clutched my chest and crouched down, trying to suppress it, but my pounding heartbeat showed no sign of calming.

What came to mind was Shirasu-kun’s face from yesterday along with his voice.

『Oh? Is that so? You’re beautiful, so I just assumed you did.』

…Ah, this is bad.

“—!!”

My body jolted, my legs trembled, my vision flickered with flashes of light, and my breathing grew ragged. After a few minutes, I somehow calmed down, but my breathing was still uneven, and my body felt slightly sluggish.

“…I’m the worst.”

I stopped the sticky fluid soaking through my drenched underwear from running down my legs and made sure Shirasu-kun’s floor didn’t get dirty. Going into a boy’s house, being treated unbelievably kindly, reading a letter and climaxing… There was nothing more disgraceful than that.

…But isn’t Shirasu-kun also at fault?

What did he mean, giving a spare key to a woman he had just met yesterday and barely knew? Wasn’t that far too careless? As an older woman, I almost felt like scolding him a little, but I figured he wouldn’t want to be scolded by a woman who had pleasured herself to his letter, so I buried that thought deep inside my heart.

Still, there was more I wanted to say.  

What is he thinking, giving me breakfast too? If you’re that kind to a woman who gets scolded at work, whose passion isn’t recognized at all, and who has no eye for men, of course she’s going to misunderstand, right?

From talking to him yesterday, I could tell that for Shirasu-kun, this kind of thing came to him as natural as air. 

Ah, geez!!

That fluttering feeling started again in my lower abdomen, and I desperately restrained myself from reaching down.

“I’m just the neighbor.”

I told myself that to maintain my sanity. Shirasu-kun trusted me, so I must not betray that any further. What had happened earlier was unavoidable, but doing it deliberately would be wrong. I steadied my feelings, folded the futon I had used, and ate the meal Shirasu-kun had made yesterday. Thinking that I would probably never eat something like this again in my life, I savored each bite carefully.

When I finished the very last grain of rice, it hurt to think that starting tomorrow it would be back to discounted supermarket bento loaded with additives.

“Thank you for the meal.”

Suppressing those feelings, I finished everything neatly and washed the dishes with gratitude. Only then did I check my phone messages. One was from the landlord: 『I unlocked the door.』

The other was a flood of missed call notifications. There was no need to check. They were from my workplace. I would probably be yelled at terribly, but I didn’t care. I felt no panic.

“Hello.”

『Hey, Shinonome. What are you doing? Work started a long time ago.』

“Yes. I sincerely apologize.”

『Tomorrow, you alone will—』

“I’m sorry for the sudden notice. I quit. Well then, goodbye.”

With that, I hung up and turned off my phone. They would probably say something, but I had recorded the scenes of violence, power harassment, and work being forced on me with my smartphone. I would likely be able to quit smoothly.

Everything felt refreshing, as though I had been reborn. I felt like I had become a new version of myself unlike ever before. Today, I was born anew here. It even felt that way.

Thank you, Shirasu-kun. I don’t think I will ever forget today.

I resolved to leave Shirasu-kun’s house and checked to make sure I wasn’t forgetting anything. That said, I had gone out intending to kill myself, so I had brought very little with me. There was nothing to forget. My phone, my wallet, and the spare key to Shirasu-kun’s house.

Ah, and this—I can take this too, right?

Thinking that, I picked up the letter he had written for me. No matter how many times I read it, it was a wonderful piece of writing. If he sent it to a publisher, I was sure it would win an award. But to Shirasu-kun, who wrote it, it was probably worthless and would be thrown away.

If that were the case, then it would be better for humanity if I kept it. So I carefully tucked it into my cleavage, making sure no one would take it. Even though I would see Shirasu-kun once more when returning the spare key, something like this would surely never happen again, so this letter would become my family heirloom. In just one day, my entire life had been completely changed. 

I will keep this letter as proof of that.

Telling myself that, I left Shirasu-kun’s house and returned to my own.

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