In a World of Reversed Chastity, I’m Surrounded by a Clingy Older Woman, a Walking Red Flag, and an Exhausted Office Lady - 21

Chapter 21: I Want to Be Ruined

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In the refreshing weather, I walked leisurely along the road to school as I always did—being myself, just like always. Sometimes men looked at me with displeased expressions or blatantly tried to avoid me, but the current me did not have a fragile enough mentality to be hurt by that. Thanks to my prince, Aoi, appearing in my life, my mentality had become strong, and I was no longer the kind of girl who would get depressed over something like that.

I walked confidently, arrived at the university, and entered the lecture hall. I looked around to see where Aoi was, but even though I should have been able to find him right away as usual, for some reason I could not find him today. I strained my eyes and scanned the lecture hall once more, but he still was not there.

Maybe he was coming a little later today? He usually arrived earlier than I did, though.

Well, sometimes that kind of thing can happen.

Thinking that, I sat down in my usual seat and waited for Aoi to come while feeling a little uneasy. I kept glancing at the time on my phone, but that only made me more anxious and restless, so I stopped checking it halfway through and decided to wait quietly. But in the end, Aoi did not show up even when the lecture started. I completely lost any motivation for the class, and since it was a fairly relaxed lecture, I picked up my phone and sent Aoi a message.

『Aoi, are you okay? Did you catch a cold?』

When I sent that, it was marked as read fairly quickly, and a reply came back.

『Aoi: I’m sorry, I overslept. I’m planning to go to the afternoon classes.』

…That was rare.

Aoi usually lived a disciplined life, so he never overslept.

『It’s rare for you to oversleep, Aoi. Did something happen?』

When I asked that out of curiosity, there was a brief pause before he replied.

『Aoi: Yesterday I hung out with some friends from my hometown, and something a little not-so-good happened to someone I’ve been getting closer to lately, so I was a bit busy because of that.』

…………………………

It was more than just a bad feeling, I could almost certainly tell that those hometown friends were girls, and that the person he had been getting closer to lately was also a girl. An ugly, sludge-like emotion bubbled up in my heart.

But I did not want to throw those feelings at Aoi, and more than anything, I could not. Maybe Aoi did not feel anything special about those people. Maybe he only thought of them as friends. I could understand that he might have acted out of concern. But still, it bothered me.

『Aoi. The friend from your hometown and the person you’ve been getting close to… they’re girls, right?』

…There was a possibility they were not girls, after all. Clinging to that faint hope, I tried asking.

『Aoi: They’re girls. Why?』

That was the natural reply that came back. I knew it.

What should I do?

Leaving things as they were would not be good for my mental health, and I hated feeling like something had been stolen from me.

…Okay.

『Aoi. Don’t go to your afternoon classes. Let’s go shopping together.』

I gathered my courage and sent that. It was marked as read, but no reply came right away. My heart grew cloudy again, and without thinking ahead, I sent another message.

『You can hang out with other girls, but you won’t hang out with me?』

It sounded like I was rushing him and being sarcastic, and I started to feel a little depressed, wondering if I had given Aoi a bad impression. Finally, a message came back.

『Aoi: Okay, sure. Then how about we meet at 1:00 at the west exit of the station?』

As soon as the lecture ended, I left the university and headed for the station. I was probably smiling brighter than anyone else walking toward the station, my heart clear and light. Usually, it was after parting with Aoi, so I felt a little gloomy on the way home, but today was different. Since Aoi usually waited for me in the lecture hall, today I would be the one waiting.

He said the west exit, right? 

Thinking that, I waited at the meeting spot. Staring at my phone felt somehow lonely, so I decided to stay alert so I could react right away when Aoi arrived. I had been waiting with an excited heart, but that feeling collapsed in an instant.

“Hey, isn’t that Koibuchi?”

“Who?”

When I heard my last name being called, I turned toward the voice and saw that guy from high school, the one who had said I was his type, and his friend looking at me.

“That’s definitely Koibuchi. I mean, she’s the only one who dresses like that.”

As they said that, they approached and stopped right in front of me.

“Whoa, she’s dressed crazy.”

“Right? She was into me back in high school. Isn’t that messed up?”

The guy pointed at me and burst into ugly laughter.

…It’s okay. I have Aoi.

“Hey, Koibuchi. You’re Renka Koibuchi, right?”

“……….”

“At least answer me, you clingy landmine girl.”

…It was okay. It had to be okay.

“You haven’t grown at all since high school.”

“Seriously? She’s been like this since high school?”

“Yeah.”

…Why?

I was just wearing the clothes I thought were cute. Why did I have to be told things like that by them?

No. Stop it. You have no right to say that to me.

Even though I thought that in my heart, I could not say it out loud. I had believed my mentality was strong, but that plating gradually peeled away, and all my insecurity spilled out at once.

I hate this. I’m scared.

“She dressed like that back in high school too. And it was so obvious she was totally into me. It was seriously gross.”

“Seriously? That’s disgusting. That gives me chills.”

“And she looked like she’d be a crazy possessive type, so I dumped her.”

Was it so wrong to try to appeal to the person I liked? I just wanted to be myself. Why would they say things like that? I could not take it anymore.

Just as the tears I had been holding back while looking down were about to spill…

“Renka.”

With that familiar, gentle voice, someone firmly grabbed my hand and pulled me away.

“…A-Aoi.”

“Let’s go. You’re in the way, so move.”

Aoi shoved the guys aside and led me forward.

“Huh? What’s your problem all of a sudden?”

“Are you her boyfriend? You’ve got no taste.”

Hearing their mocking laughter directed at me, he stopped, turned around, and stepped in front of me protectively.

“You’re the ones with no taste. Renka’s seriously cute, you know that? Are your heads screwed on wrong? The fact that you can’t recognize how cute she is… Your lack of judgment and sense is what gives me chills. Don’t ever show your faces again. You’re disgusting.”

It was like something out of a fairy tale… No, not even in stories or fairy tales was there a man this cool.

“You’re getting way too cocky.”

One of the guys approached and tried to hit Aoi, but Aoi easily dodged it.

“If you’re going to do something to someone, be prepared to have it done back to you. How lame. Don’t ever say something cruel to Renka again.”

My prince always protected me. He would never betray me or make a fool of me.

“Renka, let’s go. You don’t have to worry about trash like them anymore.”

He gave me his usual sun-like smile and said exactly the words I wanted to hear. He took my hand and coolly led me out of that hell. He told me it was okay for me to stay as “myself.” The pitch-black feelings from just moments ago cleared away like it was just an illusion. A muddy torrent of emotions surged through me, my body reacted abnormally, and a tight, aching sensation began deep in my lower abdomen.

I want to have this man’s child. I want to fall asleep in his arms.

My body would not accept anyone but him. I would probably throw up, and if I had to accept anyone else, I would rather kill myself. It had to be him. It couldn’t be anyone but him. If there was a world without him, I would die.

Happiness, joy, lust, possessiveness, jealousy, excitement. All of it mixed together, and my brain felt as though it was being violated, churned into a mess.

I was broken. By this man. He made me understand that I could not live without him. I was certain…. There was no way I could ever leave Aoi.

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