In a World of Reversed Chastity, I Strive to Become an Honorable Male Knight, but Lustful Women Keep Targeting My Body - 303

Chapter 303: The Widow Elf’s Anguish

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I, Vanka Orisis, woke as if I were about to drown in my own tears. The time was midnight. Wrapped in a poncho, I lay in the forest with a tree root for a pillow.

『All elves should just die.』

Even though I had awakened from the dream, those words kept echoing in my head over and over. Day and night, whether asleep or awake, endlessly. Ever since the day he died.

“Ugh… ugh… I’m sorry, I’m sorry for being an elf…”

Crying, I tightly gripped both of my ears. The long, pointed ears that marked an elf. I wanted to cut them off at once. But I knew it would mean nothing even if I did. I had to atone. I had abducted an innocent man, violated him, humiliated him, starved him, and in the end dragged him into a petty internal conflict that got him killed. It was not a sin that could ever be forgiven, but that did not mean I could simply accept it and move on. I was the exact opposite of a good wife, but precisely because of that, I had to at least grant his final words.

“Vanka-don, Vanka-don. Apologies for disturbing you at midnight. Is now a good time?”

A voice called out to me from afar. I always had nightmares, so I made sure no one approached while I slept. I could not let others see me like this, crying myself into a mess every night. Still, what an irritating voice. That filthy elf accent. Holding back the urge to hurl abuse, I answered, “Wait a moment.” I took out a pill from inside my poncho and bit down on it with my back teeth. As bitterness and a green, raw taste spread through my mouth, the murky feeling inside me cleared away. This pill was something I had compounded myself from calming herbs. Its effectiveness was beyond question.

“…So, what is it?”

After wiping my tear-soaked face with the poncho, I stood up. The one who had called out to me was a young half-elf, still wearing a bell-shaped hat despite the late hour.

“The night raid unit has returned.”

“I see.”

I responded curtly. We were currently pursuing the coalition forces of the wretched elves heading north along the Elfen River toward the city of Carrera, along with the forces of Liseben. Calling it a pursuit, though, our strength was inferior. Of course, we did not challenge them head-on. We kept launching small, persistent attacks to wear them down.

My goal was the annihilation of the elves. Killing the hopeless fools who still followed me would be easy, but I also had to wipe out the subordinates of Dalaiya and the youngest princess of the Orphan royal family. That was no easy task. I had to think carefully and act accordingly.

“So, what were the results?”

“Everything went as planned. They fired all the whistling arrows they had… and it seems they took down five or six sentries.”

“Hmph…”

Even though it was called a night raid, what I had ordered was simply to disrupt the enemy’s sleep. I had not told them to kill enemy soldiers… yet it seemed they had acted on their own again. Well, it was nothing new. If I got worked up over every little thing like this, I could not serve as an elf commander. …What a worthless bunch of scum. They should all just slit their bellies and die right now.

“What about our losses?”

“They say three were taken out… As expected of our seniors, to not yield even a step against superior numbers and to take down nearly twice as many enemies…”

Hearing the young one speak with genuine admiration, I almost clicked my tongue. If they reported six kills in a night raid, the real number was probably at most three. It could very well be fewer. At best, it was a one-for-one trade; at worst, we might have suffered greater losses.

The difference in strength between us and the coalition forces was about one to two. By simple calculation, each of us would have to take down two enemies just to reach a draw. But realistically, that was impossible. Even with a surprise attack under the cover of night, we only managed a one-for-one exchange. If we clashed head-on, we would be crushed unilaterally.

“…As expected of the elite elves. However, it is also true that our strength is somewhat lacking. Are the preparations of those ants not yet complete?”

Even fighting here, where we held the advantage, this was the result. If they managed to escape into Carrera, we would no longer be able to touch them. That place had completely turned into a fortress city over the past few months. Siege warfare was a field elf soldiers were poor at. We had to force a decisive battle while we could still engage them in open combat.

But for that, we were overwhelmingly short on strength. I did, however, have a plan to deal with that. After all, I had spent years devising a strategy to destroy the elves themselves. The groundwork had already been laid. The situation had diverged considerably from my original assumptions, but it would work out somehow.

“The ants will move by tomorrow, they said… But is it really safe to trust those kinds of fellows?”

“There is no problem. They are nothing more than simple-minded barbarians. Manipulating them as we wish is an easy task.”

What nonsense, calling them barbarians. I felt embarrassed just saying it myself. The truly savage ones were the elves…

“Besides, we have preparations for the worst-case scenario. That ‘thing’ has been kept unfed for a while, hasn’t it?”

“Of course. Those brutes burned down the food stores, so we don’t have much rations left anyway.”

“The more it starves, the more ferocious it becomes. Leave it out to dry like that for a while longer.”

“Understood.”

The young elf bowed and left. I let out a sigh and sat down at the base of a tree. Were the babies whose mothers I had taken away safe? Were they crying from hunger? Such thoughts kept spinning endlessly in my head. I had decided to wipe out the elves. That was supposed to be my resolve. And yet, I could not stop worrying about the children. Hypocrisy. Utter hypocrisy. I was the one who had taken their mothers and was about to throw them into the battlefield.

Faithless, dishonorable, irrational. To my husband, and to those children. I was a half-baked beast who could not even fully become a creature of vengeance. That was what I was now. In such a state, could I truly stand against that wise and gentle knight?

Ah… ah… I’m sorry, Sir Blondin. I never intended to drag you into this, yet it has come to this. I’m sorry. Truly, I’m sorry. But I can no longer stop myself. I will not ask for your forgiveness, I cannot. Please, just hate me.

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