Chapter 8 – My Private SSS Rank Penthouse Comes with a Free Yandere Princess?!

The Rank SSS dormitory building looked exactly like a solid gold wedding cake sitting at the very highest peak of the academy campus. The normal student dorms were tiny brick boxes far below us in the valley, while our private building featured massive glowing diamond pillars and a literal water moat.

“This is way too extra.”

I rubbed my tired eyes and stared at the towering front doors.

“I just wanted a standard twin bed and a quiet desk.”

The solid platinum doors opened automatically with a soft magical hum.

“I guess I live in a ridiculous palace now.”

I walked inside as my cheap shoes sank deeply into the impossibly soft carpet. The grand foyer was empty and intimidating, but the golden door to my private room clicked open smoothly. I stepped over the marble threshold and immediately dropped my cheap canvas backpack, realizing the space inside was not a dorm room at all. It was a massive luxury penthouse suite.

“This is insane.”

I stared blankly at the giant indoor waterfall cascading down the far wall.

“Nobody needs a personal waterfall for a basic magical education.”

The rushing water sounded incredibly loud and unnecessary.

“I bet the monthly water bill is astronomical.”

I walked slowly across the expensive white tiger skin rug toward the cooking area.

“At least the kitchen has a chill vibe.”

I spotted a massive commercial-grade baking oven resting perfectly in the corner.

“They actually gave me a professional bakery.”

I ran my calloused fingers over the cold and shiny stainless steel countertops.

“This almost makes up for the crazy edgy kids.”

I opened the giant industrial refrigerator and smiled widely at the contents.

“It is fully stocked with imported premium sweet butter.”

I closed the heavy metal door and felt a rare moment of pure peace.

“I could make ten thousand perfectly flaky croissants right this exact second.”

A heavy knock echoed loudly from my solid golden front door, and my brief moment of peace was shattered. The door swung open to reveal my worst possible nightmare. The hallway outside was lined with expensive velvet wallpaper where four massive and heavily armored royal knights stood at perfect attention. My crazy childhood friend stood directly between them.

“What are you doing here?”

Sakura smiled her deeply creepy and obsessed sweet smile.

“I came to check on my precious property.”

I gripped the golden door handle tightly.

“I am not a piece of property.”

Sakura pushed past me and walked straight into my lavish dorm room.

“This place has a highly acceptable and chill vibe.”

I watched her drop three massive pink leather suitcases onto my expensive rug.

“Why do you have so much heavy luggage with you?”

She spun around and spread her thin arms wide.

“I am officially moving in with you right now.”

My heart dropped into my cheap white canvas shoes.

“You absolutely cannot move into my private academy dorm room.”

She tilted her bright red head to the side in pure confusion.

“Why not?”

I pointed frantically toward the open door and the empty hallway.

“Girls and boys have separate dormitory buildings.”

Sakura laughed a very loud and obnoxious high-pitched laugh.

“Those stupid peasant rules do not apply to us.”

I rubbed my tired eyes with my flour-stained knuckles.

“School rules literally apply to every single student here.”

She stepped incredibly close to my average face.

“We are SSS Rank living legends.”

I backed up quickly until my spine hit the cold marble wall.

“We are just teenagers trying to get a basic education.”

Sakura poked my chest firmly with a cold finger.

“The kingdom officially classifies us as highly unstable national treasures.”

That was the craziest legal loophole I had ever heard, as the concept of being a national treasure sounded incredibly stressful and fake. Sakura walked over to the giant indoor waterfall and dipped her hand in, the rushing water glowing slightly with a faint blue magical aura while the armored royal knights remained outside in the hallway.

“You just made that stupid law up right now.”

Sakura pulled her wet hand out and dried it on her expensive silk uniform skirt.

“The school principal literally cried when he handed me my golden room key.”

I crossed my arms tightly over my basic cotton shirt.

“Why would an adult man cry over a simple room key?”

She shrugged her shoulders without a single care in the world.

“He knows we could level this mountain accidentally.”

I thought about the massive blazing meteor of sorrow from the entrance exam.

“Dantalion almost destroyed the testing arena earlier today.”

Sakura nodded her head in total agreement.

“Exactly.”

I walked over to the giant white tiger skin rug.

“That still does not explain why you are moving into my room.”

She kicked off her expensive leather shoes and stepped onto the soft fur.

“We are entirely immune to all standard academy disciplinary actions.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose to fight a massive incoming headache.

“That sounds highly dangerous and irresponsible.”

Sakura closed the distance between us with terrifying and silent speed.

“I can protect my precious Dylan without any annoying teachers interfering.”

I tried to step away, but my cheap shoes snagged on the thick tiger fur.

“I am safe inside a locked golden room.”

She grabbed both of my normal hands tightly.

“The glowing blond idiot is sleeping directly next door to you.”

My eyes went wide with absolute horror.

“Leo is my literal next door neighbor?”

Sakura nodded very seriously and squeezed my trapped hands entirely too hard.

“I saw him blessing his doorframe with highly annoying holy water.”

I groaned loudly and looked directly up at the massive crystal chandelier.

“I am never going to get a single full night of sleep.”

Sakura smiled her unhinged and deeply terrifying possessive smile again.

“That is exactly why I must stay right here with you.”

Her crazy logic was actually starting to make a tiny bit of sense. The three massive pink leather suitcases ruined the chill vibe of the room as Sakura let go of my hands and walked back toward her heavy bags, popping the shiny brass latches on the first suitcase open with a loud click.

“A girl must always be prepared for any situation.”

I peered down into the open piece of expensive luggage.

“Those are literally just thirty different sharp silver knives.”

She stroked the shiny metallic handles lovingly.

“They are my highly specialized assassination prevention tools.”

I took a fast, huge step backward away from the bags.

“You cannot keep literal deadly weapons inside my room.”

She closed the heavy luggage shut with a loud metallic snap.

“You lack a basic and necessary survival instinct.”

I crossed my arms tightly over my shirt again.

“I survive perfectly fine without a massive pile of knives.”

She opened the second pink leather bag quickly.

“Then you will appreciate my backup plan.”

I looked inside the expensive bag nervously.

“That is literally just a massive pile of heavy rope.”

She smiled her creepy and unhinged sweet smile again.

“It is for securing the entire perimeter from intruders.”

I backed up until my legs hit the soft edge of the massive living room sofa.

“I really don’t think we need literal thick rope.”

Sakura pulled a long section of the heavy rope out of the bag.

“A glowing idiot with a sword requires highly extreme restraining measures.”

I felt a cold bead of sweat roll down the back of my itchy neck.

“Please put the terrifying heavy thick rope away.”

She dropped the rope back into the bag with a sad sigh.

“You are stifling my creative and protective genius.”

I was trapped in a terrifying and weird nightmare. The double doors leading to the master bedroom were carved from solid heavy oak, and I pushed them open to reveal an entirely separate and massive living space. A giant king-sized bed sat perfectly in the center of the dark room, its mattress looking like a fluffy white cloud.

“This bed is larger than my entire childhood bedroom.”

Sakura walked past me and threw herself onto the soft mattress.

“It is incredibly soft and perfect for us.”

I stood perfectly still in the dark and expensive wooden doorway.

“There is absolutely no us in this specific scenario.”

She rolled over onto her back and stared right at the high ceiling.

“I am exhausted from threatening people with heavy silver candlesticks all day.”

I uncrossed my arms and leaned against the doorframe.

“You brought that extreme physical exhaustion upon yourself.”

She patted the empty space directly next to her on the giant bed.

“Come here and lay down right now.”

I shook my head rapidly back and forth.

“I am absolutely not sleeping in the exact same bed as you.”

Sakura sat up and crossed her thin arms.

“We used to take innocent naps together in the bakery flour sacks.”

I felt my entire face flush an embarrassing shade of bright red.

“We were literally five years old when that happened.”

She tilted her head and gave me a weird blank stare.

“I fail to see how the passage of time changes anything.”

I rubbed the back of my itchy neck with my right hand.

“We are older now and it is weird.”

Sakura stood up from the soft white mattress.

“If you refuse my generous offer, I will sleep on the floor.”

I looked down at the cold and hard polished hardwood floor.

“You are a literal royal princess.”

She nodded her head proudly.

“A true royal princess will suffer for her absolute true love.”

I groaned incredibly loudly and rubbed my tired eyes.

“Do not say crazy things like that.”

She dropped to her knees on the expensive hard wood.

“I am preparing my fragile body for a night of total agony.”

My weak conscience was my absolute worst enemy. The cold marble and hard wood looked highly uncomfortable for an actual princess, yet Sakura remained completely still on the hard floor, her bright red hair pooling beautifully around her knees to make her look like a tragic heroine from a cheap dramatic play.

“You are being incredibly dramatic and extra right now.”

She looked up at me with huge and fake puppy dog eyes.

“I will bravely freeze to death down here while you sleep warmly.”

I let out a long and defeated breath of warm air.

“The room is literally temperature-controlled by expensive crystal magic.”

She shivered violently and wrapped her thin arms around her small shoulders.

“My fragile royal bones are already turning to pure solid ice.”

I walked slowly away from the wooden doorframe and approached the massive bed.

“You are the most stubborn person in the entire kingdom.”

Sakura ignored my insult and smiled a bright, victorious smile.

“Does that mean you surrender to my perfect logic?”

I kicked off my cheap white canvas shoes and climbed onto the fluffy mattress.

“We are strictly sleeping on opposite far sides of the bed.”

She jumped up from the hard floor with incredible and terrifying athletic speed.

“I promise to be on my absolute best behavior.”

I laid down on my back and stared at the dark ceiling.

“If you try anything weird, I am kicking you out into the hallway.”

She climbed under the extremely soft and expensive silk sheets.

“I just want to protect you from the glowing blond idiot.”

I closed my heavy and tired eyes.

“Goodnight, Sakura.”

She wrapped her thin arm tightly around my left bicep.

“Goodnight, my perfectly precious and wonderful Dylan.”

I gave up trying to fight her terrifying yandere, unyielding grip. The first insane day of magical academy was finally over.