I'm Immune to Interdimensional Monsters So Now I'm Their Prison Guard (And They're All Obsessed With Me?!) - Chapter 7
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- I'm Immune to Interdimensional Monsters So Now I'm Their Prison Guard (And They're All Obsessed With Me?!)
- Chapter 7 - The Primordial Mother
Chapter 7 – The Primordial Mother
Gaia’s cell is the only one with flowers.
The containment unit sits at the deepest level of the facility, past seventeen security checkpoints and three dimensional barriers that shimmer like heat waves. The walls are reinforced mythril, the kind of material that costs more than my yearly salary per square foot, and every surface is etched with binding runes that glow faint gold.
But somehow, impossibly, there are flowers.
They grew through the concrete, defying physics and common sense, tiny white blooms that smelled like spring mornings and fresh rain. The guards stopped trying to remove them after the third time they grew back overnight.
I pressed my palm against the biometric scanner outside her door.
“Kai Evans, clearance level Omega, here for weekly maternal visit.”
The system beeped, locks disengaging with heavy mechanical clicks that echoed down the empty corridor.
“She’s been waiting for you, been asking about you every hour since midnight.”
Miller stood guard outside, looking exhausted and vaguely traumatized, which tracked because talking to Gaia for extended periods did that to people.
“She try to adopt you again?”
“Twice, she offered to make me her son-in-law if I brought her grandchildren, I’m not even dating anyone.”
I couldn’t help but grin at his misery.
“That’s just how she shows affection.”
“That’s harassment, Kai, that’s workplace harassment.”
The door swung open before I could respond, revealing the most comfortable prison cell in existence.
My mother had redecorated again.
The standard-issue furniture was gone, replaced by an ornate wooden table, plush chairs that looked like they belonged in a Victorian parlor, and somehow—somehow—a fully functional kitchen setup in the corner. Pots hung from hooks on the wall, copper and gleaming. Fresh herbs grew in window boxes even though there were no windows.
Gaia stood at the stove, stirring something in a pot that smelled incredible, warm and savory and exactly like home even though I’d never actually lived with her.
She turned when I entered, her face lighting up with pure maternal joy.
“Kai! My baby boy!”
She looked human mostly, if you ignored the way her hair moved like living vines, green and brown strands that shifted and curled independent of any breeze. Her eyes were the color of rich earth, deep brown with flecks of gold that sparkled when she smiled. She wore a simple sundress, yellow with white flowers, the kind of outfit that screamed suburban mom rather than primordial earth goddess.
“Hey Ma.”
“Come here, let me look at you.”
She crossed the room in three quick steps, her bare feet silent on the stone floor, and grabbed my face in both hands, tilting my head down so she could examine me properly.
“You’re not eating enough, look at these dark circles, and your skin is pale, when was the last time you saw actual sunlight?”
“I see sunlight.”
“Walking from your car to the facility doesn’t count.”
She squeezed my cheeks, her fingers warm and smelling faintly of rosemary.
“And you need a haircut, this shaggy look isn’t working for you, you look like that worthless father of yours when he was pretending to be a guitarist in the seventies.”
There it was, less than thirty seconds in and she was already taking shots at Dad.
“The hair is fine, Ma.”
“The hair makes you look like a delinquent, and speaking of delinquents, did that absolute waste of cosmic energy bother you this week?”
“If you’re talking about Dad, then yes, he called me at three AM.”
Her expression darkened, eyes flashing with something ancient and dangerous.
“Of course he did, the inconsiderate bastard, did he at least have a good reason or was he just being his usual attention-seeking self?”
“He warned me something big is coming, said the cosmic grapevine is buzzing.”
“The cosmic grapevine.”
She released my face, turning to pace across the room, her dress swishing with each angry step.
“That man wouldn’t know responsibility if it bit him, he breaks out of his cell whenever he feels like it, he traumatizes your coworkers, and now he’s calling you in the middle of the night with vague warnings like some kind of discount oracle.”
“To be fair, his warnings are usually accurate.”
“I don’t care if they’re accurate, he should be properly detained like the rest of us instead of waltzing around like he owns the place.”
She gestured sharply at her cell, at the flowers and the kitchen and the obvious containment measures.
“I stay in my cell, I follow the rules, I don’t terrorize the guards or steal pens from the office, because that’s what responsible entities do.”
I sat down at the table, letting her rant herself out, because trying to defend Dad when she was on a roll was pointless.
“And another thing, he gave you a cult for your birthday, a cult, what kind of father does that?”
“A really weird one?”
“A terrible one, cults are not appropriate birthday presents, you should have gotten a bicycle or a nice savings bond, not a group of fanatical humans who think you’re the avatar of the apocalypse.”
She pulled a pitcher from nowhere, pouring two glasses of what looked like fresh lemonade, and set one in front of me with more force than necessary.
“Drink, you need vitamin C.”
I took a sip, the taste bright and sweet and perfect.
“How do you even make lemonade in a containment cell?”
“I grow the lemons obviously, the guards let me have soil and seeds as long as I promise not to terraform the facility.”
“You terraformed the breakroom last month.”
“That was an accident, I was stressed about your safety.”
She sat across from me, her expression softening from angry to concerned, which was somehow worse because concerned Gaia meant incoming interrogation.
“So tell me about these girls.”
“What girls?”
“Don’t play dumb, the ones who keep calling here asking about you, the night shift supervisor mentioned you’ve been getting emergency calls from multiple entities, all female.”
I groaned, dropping my head into my hands.
“Ma, it’s not like that.”
“Then what is it like? Because from what I hear, you’ve got a cosmic horror trying to steal your clothes, a trickster goddess saying your name like a prayer, and someone who lives in your bathroom making ice sculptures.”
“They’re inmates, it’s literally my job to manage them.”
“Managing and enabling obsession are two different things, sweetie.”
She reached across the table, taking my hand in both of hers.
“I worry about you, you’re surrounded by dangerous entities who don’t understand boundaries, and you’re too kind for your own good.”
“I’m not kind, I’m professional.”
“You’re both, and that’s why they’re all falling for you.”
Her thumb rubbed circles on the back of my hand, the gesture so maternal it made my chest ache.
“You inherited your father’s immunity but you got my empathy, and that’s a dangerous combination in this job.”
“I can handle it.”
“I know you can, but you shouldn’t have to.”
She squeezed my hand once before releasing it, standing to check whatever was cooking on the stove.
“That sperm donor should be here helping you instead of gallivanting across dimensions stealing office supplies.”
“He’s not that bad—”
“He abandoned us, Kai.”
Her voice went quiet, pain bleeding through the anger.
“He turned himself in and left us to figure everything out alone, and now you’re stuck cleaning up the mess of his existence while he treats the facility like a vacation home.”
I didn’t have a good response to that, because she wasn’t wrong, Dad’s definition of responsibility was definitely nonstandard.
“He does care, in his own way.”
“His way is terrible.”
She pulled something from the oven, the smell of cinnamon and apples flooding the cell so intensely my mouth started watering.
“But you’re here now, and you’re staying for dinner.”
“Ma, I have to get back to—”
“You’re staying for dinner, end of discussion.”
That was Mom Voice, the tone that meant arguing was futile, and honestly I was too tired to fight it anyway.
She set a plate in front of me, loaded with roasted vegetables and some kind of grain that definitely didn’t exist in normal grocery stores, and it looked incredible.
“Eat, you’re too skinny.”
“I’m not skinny, I’m average.”
“You’re wasting away, that cult of yours should be bringing you food instead of bothering you with midnight assassination attempts.”
“It was one attempted assassination and they didn’t know it was attempted, they thought they were doing urban art.”
“That’s even worse, they’re incompetent cultists.”
I took a bite of the food, flavors exploding across my tongue in a way that made facility cafeteria meals taste like cardboard in comparison.
“This is really good.”
“Of course it’s good, I’m your mother, I know what you like.”
She watched me eat with that satisfied expression parents get when their kids enjoy their cooking, her earlier anger fading into contentment.
“I made your favorite for dessert.”
“Ma, you didn’t have to—”
“Apple pie, the one with the lattice crust and extra cinnamon, just like you used to eat when you were little.”
My chest went tight, emotion swelling up unexpected and overwhelming.
“You remember that?”
“I remember everything about you, baby, every favorite food, every nightmare, every time you smiled.”
She brought over the pie, golden and perfect, steam rising from the vents in the crust, and cut a generous slice that she placed in front of me.
“Even if your father is a dimensional disaster, at least he gave me you.”
I picked up the fork, cutting into the pie, apples and cinnamon and buttery crust combining into something that tasted like childhood and safety.
“Thanks, Ma.”
“Anytime, sweetie.”
She sat back down, watching me eat with eyes that held centuries of love and loss and stubborn determination.
“Now tell me about your week, and don’t leave out any details.”
So I did, talking between bites of the best apple pie in existence, and for thirty minutes I wasn’t the Head Warden of a supernatural prison, I was just a tired kid eating his mom’s cooking.







































ok i kinda thought he had a human mom , but she is a goddess. Kinda sad she is locked up honestly, plus you are telling me he has no powers at all???????????
Finally a realist who sees it for what it is LOL
Honestly, he deserves it