Chapter 67 – Daddy Issues and Divine Real Estate

【Miller PoV】

I was going to die on this rooftop.

Not from the battle happening three blocks away. Not from the ice storm consuming downtown. Not from the reality-warping chaos that had turned half the police fleet into rubber ducks.

I was going to die from the panic attack.

My chest felt tight. Too tight. Like someone had wrapped my ribcage in shrink wrap and then applied a heat gun. My hands shook so badly I’d dropped my phone twice trying to call for backup that didn’t exist.

The warehouse district was a war zone.

Thalia floated above the target building like a frozen angel of death, generating enough cold to create localized weather patterns. Esdeath’s ice legion surrounded the perimeter, hundreds of soldiers that shouldn’t exist but did anyway. Loki was doing something with the architecture that made my eyes hurt to look at directly.

And I was responsible for all of it.

I’d signed off on Kai’s housing assignment. I’d approved his emergency contact protocols. I’d filed the paperwork that put him in range of a fanatical cult with kidnapping fantasies.

This was my fault.

My career was over. My life was over. I was going to spend the rest of my existence in a federal prison explaining to my cellmate why I’d let interdimensional monsters lay siege to a civilian area.

“Rough day, huh?”

I screamed.

A full, undignified shriek that probably carried three blocks despite the sound of ongoing apocalypse. I spun around so fast I nearly fell off the roof edge.

Adam sat on the concrete barrier like it was a park bench.

He wore khakis and a Hawaiian shirt covered in cartoon pineapples. His legs dangled over the twenty-story drop with casual confidence. In one hand he held a hot dog loaded with mustard, relish, and what looked like sauerkraut.

He took a bite, chewing thoughtfully while watching the chaos below.

“Want one? I got extras.”

He gestured to a whole tray of hot dogs sitting next to him, still steaming like they’d just come off a grill.

“How did you—”

“Miller, buddy, we’ve been through this. I go where I want. Spatial dimensions are more of a suggestion for me.”

He took another bite, mustard dripping onto his shirt. He didn’t seem to notice or care.

“Besides, this is the best view in town. Front row seats to the family drama.”

I stared at him.

My brain was trying to process several things at once. Patient Zero was here. The most dangerous entity in containment was eating hot dogs on a rooftop. And he’d brought snacks.

“You need to stop them.”

My voice came out strangled, pitched too high.

“Stop them? Why would I stop them? This is the good part.”

Another explosion rocked the warehouse district. Thalia’s ice spears were hammering the protective barriers, each impact sending shockwaves through the surrounding blocks.

Adam watched with the focused interest of someone watching their favorite sports team.

“See, that form right there? Thalia’s really committing. Full cosmic manifestation. She usually holds back more than this.”

“People are going to die.”

“Nah. Elizabeth evacuated the surrounding buildings hours ago. Very thorough, that girl. Say what you want about fanatical devotion, but it makes for excellent planning.”

He finished his hot dog, wiping his hands on his pants.

“You want to know a secret, Miller?”

“No.”

“I’m going to tell you anyway. I buffed the wards.”

I processed those words slowly, my panic-fried brain struggling with basic comprehension.

“You what?”

“The protective barriers around the warehouse. Elizabeth’s people did good work, don’t get me wrong. But their setup would’ve lasted maybe forty-five seconds against Thalia at full power. I added some reinforcement. Little touch here, little anchor there. Now they’ll hold for at least another ten minutes.”

He said it casually, like he was discussing weekend home improvement projects.

“Why?”

“Because my son needs to learn something.”

Adam reached for another hot dog, this one loaded with chili and cheese. How he was eating during a crisis was beyond my comprehension. Then again, everything about Adam was beyond comprehension.

“You see, Miller, Kai’s got a problem. Well, several problems. But we’re focusing on one specific problem right now.”

A massive crack echoed across the district. Part of the warehouse’s protective barrier shattered, chunks of magical energy dissipating into the air.

Adam nodded approvingly.

“Good technique. Esdeath found the structural weak point. Anyway, where was I?”

“Your son’s problem.”

“Right. So Kai, bless him, he’s got Lust covered. Thalia’s obsessed with him on a cosmic level. That’s the passion aspect. Pure want.”

He gestured with the hot dog, using it like a pointer.

“He’s got Amusement locked down too. Loki’s chaos incarnate. She keeps him sharp, keeps him engaged. That’s the joy aspect.”

“I don’t understand what this has to do with—”

“But he’s missing Worship. Faith. Devotion. The third leg of the metaphysical stool.”

Adam took a massive bite, chewing while he continued talking with his mouth full.

“To become the Anchor, he needs all three. Lust grounds him in desire. Amusement grounds him in experience. But Worship grounds him in purpose. Without that, he’s just a guy who’s immune to stuff.”

The warehouse shook again, more violent this time. The roof was starting to collapse in sections. Ice and frost covered every surface.

“Elizabeth provides that. She and her cult, they give him something those other two can’t. They give him believers.”

I gripped the roof ledge, my knuckles white.

“You orchestrated this. The kidnapping. The siege. All of it.”

“Orchestrated is a strong word. I nudged. I facilitated. I made sure certain parties had access to certain information at certain times.”

He shrugged, completely unbothered by the admission.

“I’m not the villain here, Miller. I’m just a dad trying to get his son a promotion.”

“A promotion.”

“To Anchor status. Cosmic linchpin. The thing that holds reality together in this sector. It’s a big job. Great benefits. Unlimited PTO.”

“You’re insane.”

“I’m efficient. There’s a difference.”

Adam finished his second hot dog, wiping chili from his chin with the back of his hand.

“See, if Kai becomes the Anchor, I can finally retire. Pass the torch. Spend my golden years exploring dimensions that don’t have paperwork. Do you know how long I’ve been doing this job? Eons, Miller. Actual eons. I’m tired.”

The protective barriers were failing faster now. Thalia had found her rhythm, each attack precisely calibrated to maximize structural damage. Esdeath’s legion was breaching the outer walls.

“But you can’t just retire. The system doesn’t work like that.”

“The system works however I want it to work. I’m Patient Zero. I make the rules.”

He stood up, brushing crumbs from his pants.

“Besides, Kai’s ready. He just doesn’t know it yet. This whole situation? It’s his final exam. Can he handle the Harem? Can he balance their needs against his own sanity? Can he integrate the Worship aspect without losing himself to the cult’s devotion?”

“What if he fails?”

“Then he fails and we try again next month. Not a big deal. Failure’s how you learn.”

Adam stretched, his spine popping audibly.

“Although watching him try to escape the most comfortable chair in existence while his girlfriends demolish a building is pretty entertaining. Kid’s got priorities.”

The warehouse roof collapsed entirely, revealing the interior. Through the dust and debris I could see movement. Figures converging. The siege was entering its final phase.

“Okay, lesson’s over.”

Adam snapped his fingers.

The sound was soft, barely audible over the chaos. But I felt it. A fundamental shift in the air, like someone had flipped a switch on reality itself.

“What did you do?”

“Deactivated my wards. The ones I added to Elizabeth’s barriers.”

He grinned, the expression bright and terrifying.

“Let’s see how he handles the breakup.”

The remaining protective barriers around the warehouse shattered.

All at once. Simultaneous failure across every defensive layer. The magical energy exploded outward in a wave of dissipating power, washing over the parking lot in a flash of light.

Thalia descended like divine judgment.

Esdeath’s legion breached the walls. Loki teleported directly inside, her laughter echoing across the entire district.

Adam pulled out another hot dog from somewhere, taking a relaxed bite.

“This is going to be good. Miller, you should probably call medical. Someone’s going to need therapy after this. Probably everyone.”

“You’re a monster.”

“I’m a parent. Same thing really.”

He patted my shoulder with the hand that wasn’t holding food. The contact felt like touching a live wire, energy crackling against my skin.

“Don’t worry so much. Kai’s got this. Probably. Maybe. We’ll find out together.”

Then he vanished.

Just gone. No flash of light, no dramatic exit. One second he was there, the next he wasn’t. The hot dog tray disappeared with him.

I stood alone on the rooftop, watching three of the most powerful entities in existence converge on a warehouse containing my boss who just wanted to drink coffee in peace.

My phone rang.

Unknown number.

I answered without thinking, my brain too fried for basic caution.

“Miller speaking.”

“Hey buddy, it’s Adam again. Forgot to mention, you should probably update Kai’s file. List Elizabeth’s cult as an official support network. HR’s going to need that for the insurance paperwork.”

“Insurance paperwork.”

“Property damage claims. There’s going to be a lot. Also, you might want to clear his schedule for the next few days. He’s going to be busy.”

The line went dead.

I looked at my phone, then at the warehouse, then back at my phone.

Below me, Thalia tore through the building’s infrastructure like it was made of paper. Esdeath coordinated her legion with military precision. Loki was presumably inside causing chaos that would take weeks to document.

And Kai was somewhere in the middle of it, probably still thinking about his coffee.​

I sat down hard on the roof, my legs giving out.

My hands were still shaking. My chest still felt tight. The panic attack wasn’t getting better.

But at least now I understood.

This wasn’t a crisis. This was a family function. The kind where everyone yelled and broke things and someone cried and at the end you all went out for dinner and pretended it was fine.

I pulled up my phone’s note app.

Started typing the incident report because someone had to document this mess.

“Incident Report: Day 347. Subject Kai Evans involved in unauthorized relocation event. Multiple cosmic entities responded with excessive force. Patient Zero confirmed as instigating factor. Recommend therapy for all involved parties including myself. Also recommend better coffee in the break room because I’m going to need it.”

The warehouse district lit up with another explosion.

This was fine. Everything was fine. I was fine.

I was absolutely not fine.