Chapter 33: The One Who Is Broken Is You

The soft scent of a clean church. And the overwhelming softness and warmth of the bountiful chest, in which my face was buried.

“I will heal everything for you…”

Caught in Saint Serafina’s sweet whispers and her cage of perfect “maternal instinct,” my consciousness was just beginning to fade to white when—

“Get away from him, you thieving cat!!”

KRA-KOOM!! With a thunderous roar, the consultation desk’s wooden counter was smashed perfectly in half by a wooden sword swung down from above.

“Eek?!”

“What are you doing to Nagi?! That’s my special seat!!”

Lise, the A-Rank swordswoman, bared her fangs with the face of a demon. From behind her, Fran—who had a lethal level of lightning magic charged at the tip of her staff—delivered a sentence in an absolute-zero voice.

“Pressing yourself against the subject for more than ten seconds is a clear overstepping of authority. Step away immediately, or I will forcibly send you to God’s side.”

“Get away from big brother! Luna, do it!”

As if answering Roux’s shout, a black shadow dropped silently from the ceiling beams.

“…Pay for the sin of laying hands on my manager with your neck.”

The cold blade of the night thief, Luna, was thrust mere millimeters from Serafina’s neck.

In an instant, the consultation desk had become a scene of carnage. However, even while bathing entirely in the bloodlust of the three girls, Serafina did not let her perfect smile crumble by a single millimeter.

“Please be quiet. Nagi-sama is currently at the limit of his exhaustion. Do you not realize that the more you scream, the more you wear down his heart?”

“Wha…! That’s because you’re forcing yourself on him!”

“A false accusation.”

Fran thrust her staff forward, countering logically.

“Through the ‘Ladies’ Agreement’, we provide him with one complete day of rest per week. His mental and physical fatigue should be appropriately recovered under our management. There is no reason for an upstart like you to interfere.”

“Appropriately, you say?”

Serafina looked around at the three of them with eyes as cold as ice, filled with profound pity.

“Cutting off contact with him for one day a week. …As a rule, it is certainly admirable. But what is the result of that? You all hold up the excuse of ‘I held back for a whole day,’ and for the remaining six days, you crush him with a violent pressure far heavier than before, do you not?”

“Ugh…!”

“Even if there is a day of rest, if your dependency and demands increase on the other days, his burden is the same as if it had only grown.”

Struck right where it hurt, Lise flinched, and Fran’s expression turned grim. Serafina deepened her motherly smile.

“If you are so immature that you end up clinging to him unless bound by a rule, you cannot protect him. …If you claim to love him, why do you not stand on your own two feet and strive for independence?”

A blade of pure logic. The faces of the three girls contorted with humiliation and frustration.

“I am healing him. In fact, Nagi-sama was finding peace within my chest. …Isn’t that right, Nagi-sama?”

Serafina stared at me with heavy, half-lidded eyes. Immediately after, three terrifyingly resentful glares pierced into me all at once.

“Nagi…? Is it true you were finding peace…?”

“I demand an explanation. Make one mistake, and I will turn this place to ash.”

“…”

Luna remained silent, but I felt the tip of her knife turn ever so slightly toward me.

“N-No! My body just couldn’t move because of the forced relaxation effect of the healing magic… Ahh, I’m at my limit! I’m going to get some fresh air!”

I vaulted over the half-destroyed counter, leaving behind the four heroines who had started a blood-soaked argument, and fled to the guild’s backyard at top speed.

Pant, pant…

Sitting down in the shadow of a deserted materials storage area behind the guild, I calmed my ragged breathing.

My stomach hurts. My head hurts, too. How did it end up like this? All I wanted was to face the wounded adventurers in front of me sincerely so I wouldn’t repeat the trauma of my past life.

The result of ignoring my own limits and stepping too far past professional boundaries was a four-way yandere great war. Serafina, in particular, was bad news. She had accurately seen through my “habit of forcing a smile” and was trying to fill her own empty heart by saving me.

“…Nagi-sama. So this is where you were.”

My shoulders gave a violent jolt. Standing at the entrance to the alleyway, her pure white vestments swaying, was Serafina. I didn’t know how she managed to slip past those three, but there was absolutely no hesitation in her steps.

“Serafina-san… Please, I’m begging you, just leave me alone for a bit. I’m really fine.”

I stood up and tried to put on my usual “customer service smile.” But Serafina slowly shook her head from side to side.

“Are you trying to put on that mask and run away from me again?”

“I’m not running away. I’m a counselor, and you are—”

“Do not try to deceive me!”

It was a strong voice, unlike any I had heard from her before. Serafina marched right up to me and grabbed me by the collar with trembling hands.

“Having healed the wounds of so many, I can tell. You cross boundaries to step into the hearts of others, yet you draw a strong line around your own heart and refuse to let anyone in!”

Her silver eyes pierced right through me. What lay within them was not the eyes of an empty machine. It was raw, living emotion carrying a painful heat.

“Why do you sacrifice yourself to such an extent?! Taking on their overwhelmingly heavy emotions, pouring your heart out over an anonymous letter from someone whose face you don’t even know… Your own heart is at its limit, yet you refuse to ask anyone for help!”

She saw right through me. It was true. Terrified of the failure from my past life—where I drew a line because I was afraid of being worn down—I had subconsciously rejected “being saved” (relying on others) in this life.

“Please tell me, Nagi-sama. What is the ‘curse’ that drives you so far?”

“It’s not a curse. I just…”

“Just?”

“…I just don’t want to regret it ever again.”

My mind, stretched taut to its absolute limit, finally cracked. Unable to withstand the pressure of her 100% goodwill and overly direct empathy, my true feelings spilled from my lips before I even realized it.

“In the past… because I drew a line and hesitated to step into someone’s heart, there was a person I failed to save.”

The darkest memory of my past life. Doctor. I don’t think I can do this anymore — that hollow voice over the phone.

“To protect my own heart, I maintained a safe distance as a professional. …As a result, she broke completely. Because I didn’t reach out my hand.”

I let out a self-deprecating laugh.

“That’s why I don’t want to run away anymore. Even if it exceeds my capacity, no matter how heavy their burden is, I will never let go of their hand… That’s what I decided. This is just my own self-satisfaction. It’s my atonement.”

Silence fell. By the time I realized I had said too much, it was already too late. For a counselor to confess their own past trauma to a client is an absolute taboo that must never happen.

Serafina stood frozen, her eyes wide, holding her breath.

“…I’m sorry. I said something strange. Please forget it.”

The moment I tried to remove her hands from me gently—

“Ah, ahh…”

Large drops of tears spilled continuously from Serafina’s eyes. She collapsed against my chest, clinging to me as she began to cry out loud.

“Serafina-san?!”

“Oh, my… my goodness…! You bore that single mistake in your past into your very soul, continuously taking the punishment all alone for so long…!”

Her trembling arms wrapped around my back, hugging me fiercely.

“It must have hurt! You must have suffered so much…! No one noticed your bleeding regrets. …Even though you were the one who was the most battered and torn!”

“No, I’m really not…!”

“No! The one who is broken is you!!”

Serafina raised her tear-stained face and cupped my cheeks with both hands. Her face was overflowing with an intense heat she had never shown before, and a terrifying “joy of salvation.”

“Nagi-sama… You are the one who must be saved!”

“…!”

“I will liberate you from the sins of your past. You no longer have to carry the pain of others. …I will lay my everything on the line to heal your broken heart.”

The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. I had made a terrible mistake. This was the worst.

I had handed the Saint—who had lost her reason for being (saving someone)—the highest-grade puzzle piece: a “broken human who absolutely requires salvation.” Me.

By saving me, she herself is saved. As long as I am wounded, her value of existence is eternally guaranteed.

“I absolutely cannot leave you alone anymore. Nagi-sama… please, let me save you.”

Wearing an ecstatic smile, Serafina gently dropped her lips against the nape of my neck. It was the moment the ultimate “co-dependency” was perfectly established.

Into the worst possible quagmire—the one I had mobilized all the knowledge of my past life to avoid—I had voluntarily plunged myself, right up to the crown of my head.