Chapter 28: The Saint Stopped at “What is Your Own Happiness?”

“Wha—! Y-You bastard, what are you doing!”

The moment I grabbed the Saint Serafina’s wrist and forcibly stopped her healing magic, the church priests who had been waiting in the back of the tent flew over with their expressions completely changed.

“Insolent fool! Do not casually touch Serafina-sama with your filthy hands!”

“Let go right now! Do you know how many believers are still waiting for salvation!”

Not only the priests, but the injured people waiting in line and their families showered me with angry shouts of condemnation: “Don’t get in the way” and “What are you doing to the Goddess’s emissary!”

But I didn’t take a single step back, keeping my grip on Serafina’s slender wrist.

“Look at her fingertips. They are trembling faintly, aren’t they. Plus this abnormal cold sweat, and her shallow breathing — these are clearly early symptoms of mana deficiency.”

“W-What nonsense! The Holy Saint’s mana is a blessing from the Goddess — it is bottomless!”

“As long as she is human, her body has limits! If she continues invoking incantation-less healing any further, it will cost her life!”

Even when I raised my voice, it didn’t reach the crowd intoxicated by enthusiasm and faith.

One of the priests, his face bright red, reached out to grab me by the collar.

— Before his arm could reach me.

“…Could you not casually touch Nagi?”

Thud! A tremendous sound of someone stepping in shook the plaza.

Standing in my way to block them was the A-Rank swordswoman, Lise, wielding a random stick she had picked up nearby. Still dressed in her adorable festival one-piece, the genuine killing intent radiating from her made the priest let out a “Hiiie!” and fall flat on his rear. The killing intent was so thick the stick practically looked like a holy sword, so I couldn’t blame him.

“That’s right. If he gets injured, my rest protocol will collapse.”

Next, lining up beside me was Fran.

She also pointed a stick at the crowd. Even without the amplification of her staff, a pale blue cold air rose from her feet.

“The authority of the church is all well and good, but overworking someone while ignoring the limits of their life functions is the height of illogic. If you interfere with Nagi’s judgment, I will freeze this entire plaza along with you.”

“Ahaha~! If you lay a hand on Onii-san, maybe I’ll just completely empty out the contents of the church’s vault?”

From behind me, Roux was laughing while fiddling with a priest’s pocket watch — wherever she had pulled that out from.

The strongest swordswoman with abandonment anxiety.

The genius mage dependent on logical management.

And the dual-natured thief on a two-shift day-night system.

The three problem children who had threatened my peace had now become the most reliable bulwark imaginable, cutting me and the Saint off from the church members.

“…You’re a lifesaver!”

Leaving the dumbfounded crowd behind, I broke into a run with Serafina’s wrist still in hand, fleeing from the festival’s clamor.

“No cheating!!”

“Process this strictly as business.”

“I’m trusting you, Onii-san!”

I’ll do that even if you don’t tell me… though today is my off-duty day.

＊　＊　＊

The Adventurer’s Guild — the small room of the “Mental Health Counseling Window.”

In a room so completely silent it made the hustle and bustle outside feel like a lie, I placed a warm cup of herbal tea in front of Serafina.

“I mixed in a little bit of mana recovery potion. Please drink.”

“…Thank you very much.”

Swaying the sleeves of her pure white clerical robe, Serafina wrapped both hands around the cup and took a sip.

On the face of the girl taking a breather, that “perfect and empty smile” was still plastered on just as before.

“Why did you stop me?”

It was a flat voice, devoid of anger and lacking even much doubt.

“I am a member of the clergy. If they are seeking salvation, answering them even if it means whittling away my own body is the mission I was given. …I still could have saved them.”

“If you continued any further, you would have collapsed. As a single human being present at that scene, I couldn’t just overlook a person breaking right in front of my eyes. That is all.”

When I answered, Serafina let out a soft breath while still staring at the cup.

“…You are a kind person, aren’t you.”

It sounded completely detached, as if it were someone else’s business entirely.

“However, it would have been fine if I collapsed. If I break, I will merely return to the Goddess’s side.”

“Serafina-san.”

“…I am a defective product.”

The Saint quietly began her confession.

“In the past, having someone’s wounds close and seeing them smile thanks to my power was what made me happier than anything else. …But I wonder — since when did it change. Even if I save them, even if I am thanked, even if they shed tears… my heart no longer feels anything at all.”

She gently placed a hand over her own chest.

“There is no joy, nor is there sadness. I am only performing healing as a function — simply out of obligation. I, who cannot sincerely rejoice in salvation, harbor a terribly frightening defect as a Saint.”

For her, this must have been an outpouring of deep despair she couldn’t tell anyone.

In this deeply devout world, to say that you save people and feel nothing could easily result in being condemned as a heretic.

In the terms of my previous life, it was textbook burnout — the terminal stage of “compassion fatigue” caused by excessively saving others. As a result of wearing her heart down too much, she had completely switched her emotions off in order to defend herself.

I didn’t deny her. I simply nodded quietly.

“That is not a defect.”

“Eh…?”

“Your body merely forced a lid over your emotions to prevent your mind from breaking. That is how much you have exceeded your own capacity — living far too long for the sake of others.”

Serafina widened her eyes ever so slightly.

She seemed bewildered that the emotionlessness she thought was her “sin” had been so readily defined by me as “fatigue.”

“Serafina-san. Please let me ask you one question.”

“Yes… what is it.”

“You have prayed for the sake of others, and you have performed healing for the sake of others, correct?”

“Because that is my reason for existing.”

“Then.”

I peered straight into her empty eyes.

“What is your own happiness?”

“…………Eh?”

Serafina’s movements stopped completely.

“Please leave aside things like ‘because someone else will be happy’ or ‘for the sake of the church.’ What is something that you yourself, personally, think ‘doing this is the most fun’ or ‘this fulfills my heart’?”

“My… personal happiness…?”

Serafina blinked repeatedly.

I could tell her empty eyes were desperately searching around inside herself.

But no matter how much she searched, there was nothing there.

Wanting to eat something delicious. Wanting to wear pretty clothes. Wanting to fall in love. Wanting to sleep in.

Such completely natural “personal desires” as a human being had entirely slipped out of her. Having lived solely for the sake of others, she did not even possess the concept of “her own happiness.”

“…………I don’t know.”

After dozens of seconds of silence, Serafina shook her head with a thoroughly bewildered expression.

Her perfect smile crumbled — and for the first time, something like the “impatience of a single human being” surfaced on her face.

“I… what I want to do, what I like… nothing is coming to mind. Sensei, what… what has happened to me?”

“It’s alright. It’s only natural that you don’t know right now.”

I pulled out a scrap of notebook paper and wrote down a short sentence with a pen.

“I will assign you homework for our next session.”

“Homework, you say.”

“Yes.”

I held the paper out in front of Serafina.

“Do just one thing that isn’t for anyone’s sake.” This is your homework.”

“Something that isn’t… for anyone’s sake…”

“Going for a walk, drinking tea by yourself, or even just looking at the sky is fine. Please try doing one action — just one — that isn’t for the sake of saving someone, or for the sake of being thanked by someone.”

Serafina timidly accepted the scrap of paper with both hands, as if looking at some unknown magical grimoire.

“…Will I be able to do it?”

“It’s fine even if you can’t. Trying it out is what matters.”

Serafina stared at the paper for a while, then eventually bowed her head deeply.

“…Understood. I will try it out. Sensei.”

“I’m Nagi. I’m a guild receptionist.”

“Yes. …Nagi-sama. Thank you very much for today.”

The back of her figure as she stood and headed for the door did not look like the “perfect Saint” from the festival plaza — it looked merely like a lost little girl.

Click. The door closed.

“…Now then.”

Left alone in the small room, I sipped the herbal tea that had started to go cold.

“Nagi! Did that girl go home?!”

“I will not let her shave away any more of my rest time!”

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Onii-san~!”

Slam! The door was thrown wide open, and the three who had been on standby came avalanching inside.

Holding my head in my hands, I became convinced.

That day, the regret toward the client I couldn’t save in my past life — as if to wipe it away, this time, I had actively stepped into the mind of the “empty Saint” who had been the closest to being too late to save.

My stomachaches and the pandemonium at the counseling window seemed poised to increase in intensity even further.