I’m an M, So I Took the Hits for My Party and Somehow Everyone Ended Up Becoming Yandere - 58

Chapter 58: March to Battle

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The next day, Alicia ultimately decided not to tell them. There were several reasons for this.

First, they had privately decided that they would retreat immediately if necessary. If Vasily or Aria could not handle the situation, Finn would step forward as the shield and take the blows with his own body, just as he always had. And when that happened, the two of them would probably panic. In that state of mind, there was no way they could follow the plan calmly. Therefore, if that situation arose, they would withdraw at once. Marianne would be accompanying them as their healing support, so there was no need to worry about that.

It would also be troublesome if Vasily lost her composure after being told in advance.

Giving up was one thing, but becoming overprotective was another. Worrying about Finn Debyura was fine. But he was a hero. A man who had already begun walking that path. She did not want them to forcibly twist the path he had chosen to walk. It was also frightening to imagine Aria losing her sanity, but that was a road they would eventually have to pass through. As long as Finn continued to challenge that forest as an adventurer, it would inevitably happen someday. It would be difficult to keep it hidden forever, and it was equally difficult to take preventive measures in advance.

If it were something that could be easily prevented, they would have already done so. And so, Alicia chose to remain silent.

(If it’s going to happen eventually anyway, then it’s better to deal with it when we still have some breathing room.)

Considering the possibility of an emergency, Carla and Astrea would also remain outside the forest. Even Astrea could not fully control the winds in that environment, but that did not mean her skills had diminished. If she remained within the safe zone and focused solely on manipulating the wind without moving or guarding her surroundings, she could still exert a fair amount of power even under these conditions.

Carla’s role was to protect Astrea, who would be unable to move and would have no awareness of her surroundings. Astrea’s role, in turn, was to focus all her senses on listening to Finn and the others.

(Using someone skilled enough to rival the strongest platinum-ranked adventurers as nothing more than a communication and surveillance officer… talk about luxury.)

Inside the quietly moving carriage, Alicia looked up at the sky. They were traveling in two carriages. One carried Starry Sky, the other Dawn. Alicia, of course, was seated with Starry Sky. Next to her were Aria, nodding off sleepily, and Vasily, reading through documents.

(Haah… this is depressing…)

Even if that place was a realm beyond the reach of ordinary people, perhaps Aria could manage it. That was the only hope she had. Even the Demon Lord had been impossible for Alicia to defeat alone. Aria, who had once fought that monster head-on and forced a mutual defeat despite being gravely injured, was now far stronger than she had been back then.

If Alicia herself thought that much, then from Vasily’s perspective there was no way Aria would fail. That was why there was such confidence. In fact, the reason Vasily still had to work even at times like this was simply because she held such an important position. But thanks to her light-footed nature, the Item Box she had developed using Johan’s knowledge, and the fact that she herself was among the strongest beings in the world, she lived freely and did as she pleased.

However, even for someone like Vasily… If Finn, her beloved disciple and the recipient of so much of her affection, were to suffer a mortal wound right before her eyes…

(…She probably wouldn’t go berserk, but…)

It would undoubtedly influence their future course of action.

(…Ow. Ugh… maybe I should go to the church…)

A sharp pain stabbed through her abdomen.She pulled her knees closer to her chest and let out a long sigh.

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Heh… heh heh… the moment has finally come! For the past month, through sheer perseverance, I’ve lived my life doing everything possible to minimize physical pain. Thanks to that, my body’s been perfectly healthy! No bloody stool, no blood in my urine.

Which meant that Sera-san’s staff hadn’t pierced my rectum and the pitiful gold-ranked adventurer crying his lungs out had stayed quiet… 

But that all ends today! I wonder what kind of monster I’ll meet today. A Giant Boarman, maybe? That bastard’s spear is thick and jagged. What an absolute nightmare of a weapon. Just pulling it out almost makes me climax, and it forces a scream out of me, which honestly makes it the best. My organs get completely shredded—ohoho. If Marianne weren’t around, I’d already be dead. I’ll be in your care again today.

“Finn-san, are you alright?”

“…I was just concentrating a little. It’s been a long time. My body might be surprised.”

If I climax from how good it feels, that would defeat the whole point. If I’m going to feel good and climax, it has to be at the right moment. Think about it! If someone suddenly climaxed in the middle of a fight, you’d think they were a weirdo, right? I’m not a weirdo, so I don’t climax during battle. I climax AFTER the battle is over.

Well… sometimes I can’t hold it in and reach the limit anyway, but that’s fine. I’ve successfully suppressed it behind a perfect outward appearance, so there’s no problem.

Up until now I’d been constantly bathing my brain in enormous pleasure during combat, which basically fried it, but for the past month I’d been living a life of abstinence. I’d been relaxing—, getting scolded by Dark Marianne and Alicia, bumping into Carla in the bath, and being healed by Sera-san.

It’s been a long time since I lived the fulfilling life of a hardcore masochist—my “Maso-fulfillment lifestyle,” if you will. And now, suddenly, monsters from the Abyssal Forest are going to attack me. Even if I’m used to it, my body and mind are bound to be surprised. That’s why I needed to calm both my body and mind in order to recreate how things normally are.

“I can’t exactly disgrace those two either…”

“…Are you perhaps nervous?”

“Just a little.”

Man, it’s been a while since I climaxed masochistically in front of Master and Aria. They probably won’t see through me, but Alicia-san is here this time. If Alicia-san realizes my hardcore masochistic tendencies from my climax… what should I do? If that happens…

Well, it is what it is. That’ll be the end! I’ll just have to live as the disgusting masochist shield until the day I die, feeling good the whole time. Still… I’d rather not get found out… Fulfilling my masochism feels great, sure, but living an ordinary daily life is just as comfortable. What do you think I should do?

『You’re dealing with the inhabitants of that place, after all…』

Hm. Dark Marianne has insight. She said it before, explore that place carefully from the outer perimeter. I have no idea why she keeps bringing up things I don’t consciously know, but it’s probably just my subconscious reciting common sense.

『Eventually we’ll find a clue. I’ll wait however many years it takes, so don’t worry.』

Oh, I see. Dark Marianne is pretty motivated about conquering the Abyssal Forest too. I’m motivated as well! Mainly because the enemies are strong and it’ll feel good.

“But honestly… Rather than nervous, I’m excited.”

“Excited…?”

“Yeah. Maybe Master and the others will clear the place quickly. But if they don’t, that means I’ll get to show them how much I’ve grown. Back then, I caused them nothing but trouble and was always being saved. Now I finally get the chance to show them that this guy has become a proper adventurer. That’s why I’m excited.”

Master… I became a gold-ranked adventurer. They said silver was my limit, and I was still carried by my teammates, but I still made it to gold rank. 

I’m not quite worthy of calling myself your disciple, but I’m at least a full-fledged adventurer now. I can’t repay you for everything but in this forest, I’ll show you how much I’ve grown. Back then I would’ve died instantly, but now I can do my job properly as a shield.

“Excited… I see…”

Eh… M-M-Marianne-san, why are you looking at me with such sad eyes? Is being a shield not good enough? Do I need to do more? B-but I’ve never let the three of them get injured as long as I was shielding them. Well, actually… The only place they’ve ever gotten hurt was in the Abyssal Forest. That’s true.

But I didn’t tell a single lie.  Right, Dark Marianne?!

『Well, you didn’t lie.』

See?! Dark Mari, who’s been watching me all this time, says so, so it must be true!

『Please stop giving me strange nicknames.』

That’s the kind of relationship Dark Marianne and I have. Compared to that, I’m actually pretty close with the hero Arianrod, whom I call Aria. But Aria’s used to dealing with men and has her pick of handsome guys in the world, so someone like me probably doesn’t even register in her eyes.

She says she loves me thanks to the childhood friend bonus, and I love her too—in that sense. Of course I love her in other ways too. A close, busty childhood friend… Honestly, no one can top her. If someone asked me to choose between that and my masochistic lifestyle, I’d agonize for three days and three nights before choosing Aria.

Though… Aria wouldn’t choose me. Ahh… This is all because Dark Marianne denied me. Now I feel sad. To think even the personalities inside my head reject me… heh… heheh—oh crap, I’m gonna leak!

“Finn-san, um… please don’t push yourself too hard. We would never abandon you.”

“It’s fine, we’re just doing our usual routine, anyway. Marianne, thanks for always helping pathetic guys like me.”

“Pathetic…? That’s not true at all. Finn-san is wonderful. You’re always been a wonderful guy.”

Ahhh… I really love the real Marianne. Let’s get married. Let’s build a house by a quiet lake with beautiful scenery. And then we’ll have children. But I hear giving birth is really hard. If I were a woman, I could give birth instead of Marianne…

『You probably suffer more in your daily life, Finn-san.』

Wait, really? Also, how does Dark Marianne know that if I’ve never given birth? Ah…! C-could that just now have been my arrogance? Did it come out because deep down I’m proud of suffering more than anyone? That’s not good. Absolutely not!

Reflect on yourself! Just because something hurts or is painful doesn’t make you great! No matter how much you pile up suffering, if you fail when it counts, it means nothing. I can’t get arrogant about that. Thank you, Dark Marianne.

Because of what you said, I can look at myself again. Though it’d be nice if you could beat me up as much as Alicia does. But you’re too kind for that. I know. And that’s fine. Thank you, as always. Both the dark and the light Marianne are indispensable to me. So if I get married, it’ll be to both of them. You can even get married inside your head. The ceremony can happen anytime.

『Sure.』

You couldn’t sound less interested… But even that version of Dark Marianne is wonderful!

『Yes, yes.』

“…Hey, what’s with you two flirting so naturally? Is that supposed to be a jab at us?”

“Haaah… I knew it was the right choice to come along, Saint.”

“Ge-Geez! You two always say things like that right away! That’s not what this was!”

The light Marianne had been taken by Carla and Astrea. The dark Marianne had lost interest and become harsh.

Heh… Moments like this are the best. The moment hope falls into despair… because it makes my heart creak.

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