Chapter 1: A Masochist Living a Fulfilling Life

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“Gaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!?”

Agonizing pain. A distorted spear pierced straight through my abdomen. The monster had painstakingly crafted it by hand, its warped shape displaying a vicious, accordion-like lethality. It was a complex wound that could never have resulted from a simple impalement.

A searing heat, as if my stomach had exploded. I had no idea whether it would ever heal, or even whether I would make it back alive from here. If treatment was delayed even a little, I would unquestionably die. Even as I received it and nearly had my consciousness stolen by the surging heat, I grit my teeth and roared.

“Not…Yeeeeettttt!!”

The moment the monster faltered at my literally blood-spitting roar, the counterattack was unleashed without hesitation. What burst forth was crimson flames. A swordswoman clad in light armor adorned with crimson patterns, her red hair flashing as her sword strikes shimmered.

—Zazazang!!

One. Two. Three. Slashes woven into a single instant carved apart the outer shell, exposing the fragile flesh beneath and precisely severing the sinews.

“—O wind!”

In time with the mage’s voice, magical power writhed. Her own vast reserves of mana mixed with the mana saturating the area. Different attributes were fused, altered, compressed and then rampaged as blades. There were about thirty of them. They shattered the monster’s split outer shell, burrowing deeper to slice through the flesh inside.

“UGOOOOOOO!!?”

Releasing its grip on the spear that had torn open my abdomen, the monster tried to flee. But it was already too late. The monster was within range. 

“—I won’t let you escape…”

An auroral light gleamed. An absolute radiance that painted over the wind, the crimson flames, and even me. It was the blessing of the sole god, Esperanza. A blow tantamount to rejection of all that was demonic. It engulfed the area, and when my vision returned…

The monster had vanished, and the battle was over. As expected, the power was overwhelming in exchange for the long charge time. It was Fifth-Tier magic, usable only by a select few among the clergy, right? A priest I knew used to cast it like it was nothing, so when she joined my current party, I was shocked. But now, that memory only served as a fond memory of the past. 

…Anyway, this was no time to be thinking so leisurely. If I didn’t deal with this spear soon, I was going to die. Weapons handmade with care by monsters were generally crude. Most were roughly carved stone rather than metal blades, but damn if they didn’t hurt. Fired with monstrous strength, they could casually blow arms away, punch through abdomens, or shatter faces.

Naturally, the wall role that had to take hits like that was unpopular. It was usually forced on thugs or third sons from the countryside who wouldn’t be missed much if they died and they did, often. I’d seen far too many colleagues die while trembling in pain and fear.

That said, that rule applied only to everyone else. I volunteered to be the wall. Trusting my companions, taking the attacks, standing closer to death than anyone. It wasn’t that I had no other options. I had other options, I certainly did, but I had no choice but to choose this role.

Why?

Because…. I was a hopeless hardcore masochist. Pain so intense it nearly knocked me unconscious was pleasure just as intense. A dance with death beside me as I slipped past blades closing in. Blocking attacks I could have dodged to forcibly create openings, which my comrades would then capitalize on.

It was irresistible!

What made it even better was that while I was just blocking attacks and getting off following my own kink, my companions defeated the enemies! For a near-death masochist, this was nothing short of a revolution. The risk of death was reduced to the extreme, I could satisfy my kink with the fact that I was helping my comrades and on top of that, I even got treated. For free!

Thanks to that, ever since I met them, I’d been living fulfilling days. Living a fulfilling life as a hardcore masochist… Shortened to Maso-Ful. And there was one more thing…

One more point where I became hopelessly aroused. As I knelt, trying to stop the blood pouring out even a little, slender, supple hands reached out without concern for getting dirty and pressed a clean cloth against my wound. When I lifted my face to give thanks, I saw a face twisted in anguish.

“Finn…! You’ve pushed yourself again…”

“C-Carla… haha, but… we beat it, right?”

The Crimson Swordswoman, Carla Tsukamoto. She’d been a novice when we first met, but she’d grown. Now, she was counted among the Sword Saints. Beautiful red hair, light armor opened at the joints for mobility. No man would feel bad being worried over by a beautiful woman, even after all these years.

“Are you okay!? Mari! Hurry!”

“Yes! I’m sorry, Finn-san. It’s going to hurt… a lot…”

Urged on by the elf Astrea, the priest Marianne rushed over. Despite having just cast a powerful spell, she showed no signs of fatigue at all. There had been a long, painful road to get here but that wasn’t something to recall while on the brink of death. What mattered was that she could cast spells of that level hundreds of times.

Yes. Why did I take on the unpopular, high-attrition wall role in this party? The answer lay with her.

“Yeah… I know. Do it…”

“…………Yes…”

As I sat there, Carla grasped the embedded spear. With a grim expression, never averting her eyes, she spoke to me.

“Here I go. Endure it…”

Rip, riprip… Squelch, gush…!

“U-gah, aaah! Uaaah!! Aaaaaahhhhhh!!!”

“—Finn! Hang in there!”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…!”

“I’ll heal you right away…! 【High Heal】!!”

“Gaaaaaahhhhhhh!!! A-gi……”

“Hurry… Hurry and heal…!!”

—It hurts! It hurts!It hurts!It hurts! It feels good! It feels good! Uuhyoooo!I’m going to dieee!!! I’m dying! I’m dying! It hurts and feels so good!! I’m dying!! Death is getting closer!! I can feel every drop of blood flowing out of my body!! My life is draining away!! It’s exhilarating!! This is bad I’m going to…! I’m going to…! It feels too good I’m going to come! I’m going to come…! Something that shouldn’t come out is going to come out….!!

————……Phew.

“Finn…! Are you alright!?”

“Yeah… I’m really sorry for always showing you such an ugly side of me.”

“No! It’s not ugly at all…”

“That’s right, Finn. The ones who should be blamed are us. We keep forcing you to push yourself, while we fail to grow…”

Phew…

In post-nut clarity, everyone’s concern really hit home… But don’t misunderstand.I’m not okay with just anyone. I mean, sure, at the beginning, maybe anyone would’ve been fine. 

Actually, they were all like that. A swordswoman who looked down on adventurers. A trainee priest who joined as part of charity work. An elf who called humans themselves inferior. It was the worst first meeting ever.  Even so, we stayed together and five years had already passed.

We overcame local troubles after many twists and turns, fought some obnoxiously huge monster birds, and lately even battled some big-shot commander of the Demon Lord’s army. We were no longer just comrades.

We were irreplaceable companions bound by bonds. I loved them all. That had nothing to do with my kink.

Even a hardcore masochist is human. Beyond just wanting pain inflicted, we want to be loved too. 

Just as I loved them, surely they loved me as well. So, there was no way I could tell them about this kink. Seriously. I didn’t want to make them worry.

I mean, sure, if Astrea said, “Well, he’s a hardcore masochist, so we can just leave him,” I’d be insanely turned on. Or if Carla glared coldly and said, “Pervert. Deal with it yourself,” that would get me going too. And if Marianne said, “Why haven’t you been purified?” No! Marianne would never say something like that!!

Begone, dark me!

“Haah… Hah… Haah…!”

“Is something wrong? Could it be you’re not fully healed…!?”

“No! I’m fine! Just… I just got a little scared… (by my own weird imagination).”

Marianne would never say something like that. She was genuinely saint-like. She treated even filthy kids my age back then as individuals, without discrimination. She became a priest because she wanted to save as many people as possible. She was a pure soul, through and through.

But… If she knew I was a hardcore masochist…

I can’t say it…! I really can’t…!!

“Alright. I’m fine now. I’ve switched gears. Let’s head back. The request is finished, right?”

“…Yeah. That’s right.”

“Honestly… You’re so carefree without a clue how we feel.”

“Haha, thanks, Astrea. You’re kind.”

“Hmph! If your companion is nearly dying every time, of course you’d worry!”

『Humans are all inferior life-forms, so could you please not come near me?』

To think she’d changed this much after saying that so seriously… That really got to me.

“What is it?”

“Hehe, nothing at all. Right, Finn-san?”

“Yeah, nothing. Kind old granny Astrea.”

“What did you say!? I’m still young!! You brat!”

Astrea heated up, I teased her, and Carla and Marianne laughed as they watched us. It was a good walk home. I wished this everyday life would go on forever.

~*~*~*~

“Guoo… Gagogogo…”

“…Is he asleep?”

“He is.”

“He’s asleep.”

After finishing the subjugation request, the three spoke in hushed voices so as not to wake Finn, who had fallen asleep during their evening drink in the mansion they jointly purchased in the capital’s prime district.

“Haah… My heart nearly stopped today too. That was a Big Orc, you know? A monster that’s lived deep in the Abyss Forest, where even us elves can’t approach. And he took its attack with his body…”

“…That is our way. Finn holds them back, and we slay them. It’s how it’s always been.”

“I know! But… Carla, you understand too, don’t you? At this rate, he’ll die.”

At Astrea’s words, Carla frowned.

“Even Mari’s barrier magic has limits. He survived because of his toughness, the barriers, and lucky impact points…. But if that had hit his head…”

“…Stop.”

“For the past year, it’s been like this. He… Finn keeps taking hits knowing he might die. Because it’s the most efficient way for us to kill the enemy. Because it’s where he’s most useful.”

“Stop it…”

“What are we going to do? If Finn just dies like that. Humans already live such short lives and if Finn died like that… And… He said he was scared. He said he got scared. Even though he’s scared, he keeps doing it. What do we do if Finn… dDies…”

“Stop it!!”

A shout rang out.

“I know that! I know he’s always fighting the fear that he might die! I want to do something! I want to do something about it! I want to save Finn with my own hands! I want to stand beside him. But… I’m not enough…”

Carla was one of the fewer than twenty 【Sword Saints】 in the world. In swordsmanship, only a handful could rival her, and in pure combat she possessed absolute strength. But that was only among humans.

Sea dragons that caused tsunamis just by breathing. Black dragons that gouged the earth simply by flying. Legendary beings said to travel freely between sky and space, descending from the heavens. Among such monsters and other supernatural beings, Carla was classified as weak. She understood that well. And so she lamented.

“I’m still immature. I’m not enough. To stand beside Finn… To truly be his companion… I’m still far too weak…!!”

“…Carla…”

“—I feel the same.”

Marianne nodded at Carla’s outpouring. Lacking talent and of low status, she’d been sent to the Adventurers’ Guild. This meeting was nothing short of a miracle for her. She wanted to save everyone within reach. It wasn’t a coincidence that Marianne gained power. It was because she formed this party. The arrogant eastern swordswoman, the human-hating elf, a boy from the countryside, and an immature priest.

They clashed at times, joined hands at others, and sometimes—well, built up little memories they couldn’t tell other women about—until they reached this point.

“I will never let Finn-san die…”

She didn’t want anyone to die. She wouldn’t let anyone die. That resolve thinned as she gained power. Marianne understood her strength wasn’t something she gained alone. She knew she obtained it by adventuring with irreplaceable companions. And so, when faced with an emergency… When forced to choose between two options, she would choose her companions without hesitation.

“Carla-san, Astrea-san, Finn-san… I won’t let a single one of you die. That is my resolve as the 【Saint of Holy Strikes】.”

“…Then I too swear once more. The 【Crimson Sword Saint】 will become the spear that protects you all.”

“And I as well. I swear as a 【High Elf】. The wind will surely protect us. We have the blessings of nature and the earth.”

The three shared the same resolve. They didn’t want Finn to suffer anymore. They knew he wasn’t doing it because he wanted to. He did it because he had to and because it was the most efficient way. Because he was the one least likely to die… He took the hits, creating openings for the three of them to attack. All of it was caused by their own lack of strength.

(Watch me, Finn. I will be the one to stand beside you.)

(Just you wait, Finn. You should be sent off as a hero, dying of old age. I won’t allow you to die in battle…)

(Please watch, Finn-san. I will protect you. I’ll make it so you won’t have to be hurt anymore, so you can sleep peacefully. I promise.)

The three looked at the sleeping Finn.

“Gugogo… u, ah…Stop, stop it…That’s not, that’s not… Help…”

“…U-uh… I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Finn! It’s because I’m weak…!”

“Don’t cry! You mustn’t cry! The ones who should cry aren’t us…!”

“…May you sleep peacefully, even just a little. 【Sleep】…”

Astrea collapsed in tears. Carla endured desperately, tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. And Marianne, crying as well, guided Finn into restful sleep. Each of them hardened their resolve as they listened to Finn’s cries. They would save Finn, no matter what. They would stand beside him.

“U, ah… (Don’t stop treating me just because you’re grossed out by my masochism)… Stop, stop it… (Ah, but that would be nice too…) No, no (That’s wrong! Marianne would never say something like that!) …………Help me…”

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T/N: Honestly if I were Finn, I would take this fetish to my grave too (ಥ◡ಥ)