I’m an Introvert, but After Taking Care of the School’s Most Beautiful Girl Who Lives in an Apartment When She Was Sick, She Became Attached to Me and Started Inviting Me Over to Her Place! - Chapter 62-63

Chapter 62

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“Fufu… I’m happy.”

The words slipped from my mouth with surprising honesty. Every single word the boy in front of me gave me filled my heart, as if water were being poured into an empty glass. His unexpected words stirred my inner feelings violently. He was usually a passive person. When I leaned on him, he accepted it while blushing, and when I confided something in him, he listened with heartfelt concern as if it were his own problem.

At some point, I had come to trust him. It had been that way even from our first meeting. The sensation of my body floating softly, his face filling my entire field of vision, looking so desperate… It made me want to smile and tell him, “It’s okay.” That same boy had looked straight at me and told me I was “cute.” And yet, blushing shyly, he lowered his gaze and didn’t say anything more after that.

Still, he understood me to an astonishing degree. The slightly forced smile I wore at school, my wish to live up to someone’s ideal… Realizing that he had seen me that deeply made my heart feel warm. I wanted to accept his awkwardly given words of encouragement head-on and wrap my arms tightly around him. But….

You’ll break, you know?

A voice like that came from somewhere, putting the brakes on my attempt to be honest. At the same time, it hurt somewhere in my heart, like salt being rubbed into a wound.

No. I wanted to be honest. I wanted to be honest so I could face his warmth. I wanted to be my true self, not someone else’s ideal—myself, the person everyone liked. But something grabbed my foot as I tried to step forward and wouldn’t let go. The more I struggled, the deeper I sank into my past, losing confidence. My wishes turned into fear, and once again I crouched down timidly.

“You really look at me closely, don’t you?”

I didn’t want to accept his warmth with this dark, murky heart full of tangled emotions. I averted my eyes from his words, desperately trying to cover it up. If I teased him like this, surely he would avert his gaze like always and panic—

“Of course I do.”

My heart leapt violently in my chest. My heartbeat quickened, thump-thump, and heat rushed through my entire body. His demeanor had completely changed, and his bright, clear voice reached my ears. Why was he so hard to deal with today? Normally, if I caught him while he was embarrassed, he’d panic, his voice would crack, and he’d give such an adorable reaction.

But today, he looked at me with gentle eyes, his ears still faintly red, and smiled softly. Though he seemed flustered, he didn’t show his usual prickly attempt to hide his embarrassment. His words were straightforward, without any defensive pretense.

“Ah…!? Th-thank you…”

“Hm? You’re welcome.”

When I thanked him awkwardly, completely caught off guard, he tilted his head with a puzzled look on his face, as if it were only natural, and accepted my gratitude with curiosity. Inside me, the thread of anxiety tied to his warmth slowly unraveled. But….

It’s only for now anyway.

The voice in my heart wouldn’t forgive so easily.

Why would you say that? You’ve seen his warmth too. You know how sincerely he reached out to me, how much I relied on him when I was anxious.

I could say it clearly. He was someone I could trust.

Can you really trust that? Do you have the courage to respond to his kindness? You might get hurt again, you know?

“Really…?”

“Huh?”

“Huh!? …N-no, it’s nothing!”

I felt the solid core within me wobble violently. As if all the confidence I had just moments ago were a lie, anxiety bubbled up again like maggots. I found myself doubting the truth of his words, the very words I had wanted to accept completely.

Why? Why was I this cowardly? Did I still not have the right to face his straightforward feelings?

“I… I think I’ll go home for today… Take care, okay?”

“Ah, yes. I’ll walk you h—”

“No, it’s okay. Thank you.”

I felt like I couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore, so I forcefully grabbed my bag and stood up. He followed me to the entrance and offered to walk me home, but I just couldn’t bring myself to accept that right now.

“Thank you for having me.”

“S-see you… Tomorrow…”

Click.

The sound of the front door closing echoed against my eardrums, lingering unpleasantly long.

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Chapter 63

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“I definitely got carried away…”

After seeing Kaon’s back as she walked home under the streetlights, Sorato quietly went back inside. With no strength left in him, he collapsed face-down, arms and legs spread wide, onto the sofa where the two of them had been sitting just moments earlier. His mood was at rock bottom. He had finally crossed a line that someone like him should never have touched. Her clear rejection. The unmistakable look of disgust on her face. Just recalling it made the depths of his heart feel like they were being gouged out by a massive shovel.

Why did I say something like that… I was supposed to make sure I never thought about things like that when we were alone…

Looking back on his actions now only filled him with self-reproach. The reason she was willing to stay beside him even when they were alone together was probably because she saw him as a “safe guy who wouldn’t do anything.” But what he had said earlier was clearly treating her as a “woman.” Of course she would feel threatened. It must have made her feel seriously uncomfortable.

Words that slipped out could never be taken back. He had thought the dangerously close distance, the sensation of her head resting on his shoulder, was something “special.” At first, all he wanted was to tell her, “It’s okay to be a little more honest with yourself.” At school, she was so different from how she was in private. He figured keeping up with that facade must be suffocating for her.

In the end, he failed to put the brakes on his selfish feelings.

“Being told ‘you’re cute’ by a guy you don’t even like… That just makes me no different from all the other guys…”

He had wanted to be her one and only place where she could feel at ease. And yet, what he was doing was exactly the same as all those guys at school who didn’t know the “real Kaon Natsuki.”

“I knew it…Someone like me should probably keep my distance from Natsuki-san. If I stay with her any longer—”

He swallowed the words he was about to say. He didn’t let them spill out, not even in his own mind, and wiped them from his head. In the end, Sorato couldn’t bring himself to do anything for the rest of the day. By the time he noticed, the unpleasant fatigue and chills had left his body but he still couldn’t honestly say he felt any better.

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“Morning…”

“Oof… What’s with that wiped-out look on your face?”

“You look like my dad when he’s hungover.”

It was his first day back to the school. When Sorato went to see his friends first thing in the morning, they immediately worried that he might still be feeling unwell because his complexion was so bad. Of course, the reason his face looked terrible was something else entirely. Whether awake or asleep, he couldn’t forget what had happened yesterday, and the weight of it had dragged him all the way here.

“……”

“Hm? What is it, Sorato? Do I have something on my face?”

“No, nothing. I was just spacing out.”

“Are you really okay?”

Seeing how unlike himself Sorato was, his friends couldn’t help but worry. But even with their concern, Sorato’s mind was stuck spinning endlessly in yesterday’s memories, filled with regret and hesitation. Everything else barely registered.

Rattle!

“Morning!”

“Oh, it looks like Natsuki-san is here.”

“Good morning, Kaon.”

“Morning, Kaon-chan!”

“Oh! Natsuki-saaaan! Morning!!”

“Good morning, Natsuki-san.”

“Morning, everyone!”

Meanwhile, Kaon walked into the classroom wearing a calm smile, as if nothing at all had happened the day before. Sorato was a little surprised, but like everyone else, he exchanged their usual greetings as if nothing were wrong. This was a secret meant to stay between the two of them, something his friends must never find out. Even knowing that, Sorato didn’t have the courage right now to look her in the eyes and talk to her.

“I, uh… I’m gonna go to the restroom…”

He didn’t actually need to use the bathroom at all, but staying in this space any longer felt unbearable. Sorato stood up unsteadily and left the group with lifeless steps.

“Hey… Is he really okay?”

“Is Sorato-kun still not feeling well?”

“…………”

“I’ll go check on him.”

“Tenma…”

The only one who stood up to follow Sorato was Tenma. With a complicated expression on his face, he hurried out of everyone’s sight. The rest of them quietly waited. They all understood that going together would be tactless of them. They chose to trust Tenma and leave it to him.

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“Hey, Sorato.”

“Hm…? What is it…?”

As Sorato staggered down the hallway, leaning against the wall in his unwell state, Tenma caught up to him from behind and called out. Dark circles shadowed Sorato’s eyes, and the smile he usually wore until last night had twisted into something clearly unnatural.

“Sorato, can I ask you just one thing?”

“Hm…?”

In a gentle, almost admonishing tone, Tenma posed his question.

“You’re actually closer with Natsuki-san than you let on, right?”

“W-why do you think that?”

Tenma’s calm eyes were clear, as if they could see straight through everything. That unwavering gaze struck straight at the core of Sorato’s guilt.

“…Maybe it’s okay to tell you, Tenma. Yeah. I do get along with Natsuki-san. But it’s nothing more than that. We’re just good friends.”

“Oh? You confessed pretty honestly. I thought you’d deny it a lot more.”

“I don’t really have the energy to worry about that today and I trust you, Tenma. You won’t tell anyone else, right?”

“Not a chance. Besides, to be honest, I’ve known about your relationship since the amusement park.”

“Wha—”

“Kaede told me, on the condition that I absolutely wouldn’t tell anyone. Maybe keeping your secret with Natsuki-san all to herself was a bit too much for her.”

Hearing Tenma’s shocking revelation, Sorato was left speechless. Apparently, inside the Ferris wheel at the amusement park, Kaede had explained everything to Tenma after making him promise never to tell anyone else.

There was nothing wrong with that in itself. Within their circle, Tenma was someone—like the others—who could be trusted. What Sorato regretted was his lack of consideration in making Kaede shoulder the secret of two people all on her own.

“…I’m sorry.”

“Putting that aside… How do you feel about Natsuki-san? This is advice from a friend. Just so you know, from an outside perspective, Natsuki-san is—”

“No, you don’t need to say it. That’s something I need to figure out myself.”

“…I’m glad to see you’ve made up your mind. Then, Sorato, let me ask you one last thing.”

As Tenma turned away, speaking back-to-back with him, his voice sounded faintly cheerful, yet tinged with a bit of sadness. Sorato listened carefully to that tone.

“Do you like Natsuki-san?”

It was a straightforward question, one that meant everything. The meaning packed into the word “like” wasn’t about friendship or social ties, but whether he saw her as someone of the opposite sex. After a brief moment, as students passed by, Sorato whispered his answer.

“Yeah.”

Hearing it clearly, Tenma grinned and, this time, raised his voice energetically.

“Then don’t you think there’s someone you need to settle things with before Natsuki-san?”

“That’s true. I need to talk properly with Kohaku too… Thanks, Tenma. You really helped.”

“You’re welcome. It’s a bit painful to watch a friend get so down, after all.”

Though the cloudiness hadn’t fully left his eyes, some brightness had returned to Sorato’s expression. Seeing that from the corner of his eye, Tenma nodded in satisfaction and walked off in the opposite direction.

“Sorry, Kohaku. I’m on your side but at the same time, I’m on Sorato’s side too.”

Tenma apologized quietly to his lovestruck friend. Supporting friends who were lost and conflicted over a single beautiful girl… This man, too, carried his own share of burdens.

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