Vol 1 Chapter 1 – I met God—huh? Wait, again!?【Volume 1 – God and the Post-Mortem Debrief Session】

It was a pure-white space. The sensation of whether I was standing or floating was so vague it was honestly kind of scary. And yet… it was warm. Everything was white, but it wasn’t blinding. What a weird place. Why am I here? Looking for a hint, I lowered my gaze to check myself—

“—W-Wait!? W-What is this!?”

—The fact that I couldn’t see my body at all sent an icy chill through me. Wh-What is this, seriously!? I-I can still talk, so does that mean everything above my throat exists!? Maybe it was a mistake to start thinking so desperately, because I realized something I wasn’t supposed to—and I realized it in this situation of all times. I couldn’t feel my heartbeat speeding up. Even though I was so shaken my heart should’ve been pounding itself to pieces—ba-dump, ba-dump—not a single beat reached me.

“—!”

A soundless scream and tears threatened to spill out. Something—anything—please! I don’t care what! In this pure-white space, something other than me—

“Ah… so you finally died, huh… Well, this life, you actually did your best, though. Compared to your previous life, it looked like you were getting along with your stepsister and all. If I made a happiness ranking, this time would definitely be near the top.”

As if my wish had been answered, a voice spoke up. It was high-pitched. From the way it talked, maybe a girl? But it also sounded like a boy before his voice changed.

“Who are you?”

“God☆”

“Huh?”

I don’t know why… but even though I couldn’t see them, I felt irritated. Maybe it was the sentence ending? If you wrote it out, it’d probably have a “☆” stuck on it.

“Hey, hey—young ladies shouldn’t make that face, you know? You’re good at playing innocent, aren’t you?”

“If you suddenly tell me you’re God, I think it’s kind of impossible to just believe you.”

The way their tone bounced at the end—like it went “run♪”—seriously ticked me off. I couldn’t see them, and I had no idea how old they were. It had to be our first meeting, so normally, using polite speech would be the safe choice… and yet I didn’t even feel like doing that.

Also, saying I’m “good at playing innocent”—can you not? Everyone puts on a public face to some extent… Ugh. The extra little jab at the end just adds points to the irritation meter.

“You want to see what I look like? Sure. I’ll show you.”

“Wah!?”

What appeared in the pure-white space was a pure-white silhouette of a person. From the top of their head to the tips of their toes, perfectly white. At a glance, they looked like a little girl—early elementary school age. Or rather… in this white-on-white world, why could I see them so clearly even though they were the same color? Their features looked doll-like, artificially sculpted, and it was creepy. The total lack of complexion made it even worse. If they really were God, it’d be unbelievably rude, but the word “ghost” flashed through my mind anyway.

Maybe my reaction amused them, because they wore a beaming, innocent smile like a little kid. Well, yeah—if something like that suddenly popped up right in front of you, you’d yelp once or twice too!

At this point, maybe I should flick them on the forehead. I fumed internally, but at the same time—despite the fact they were right there, close enough that I could reach out and touch them—I somehow knew I wouldn’t be able to.

“Ahaha! You really get it☆”

The self-proclaimed God laughed, clutching their stomach like they were having the time of their life. My irritation level climbed, but something else bothered me more. Could it be… they can read minds?

“Told you, I’m God. Believe me now?”

“So… what does this God want, dragging me to a place like this?”

Ah—if they really are God, shouldn’t I be using polite speech…? But if they were going to get mad, wouldn’t they have already…? S-So I’ll just keep going like this… I don’t want to talk politely to the God in front of me anyway.

“Inadera Otome-san. This is sudden, but you have passed away. Age at death: nineteen.”

God’s demeanor changed completely, their voice turning into something like an announcement system. Like their personality flipped a switch, they wore a serious atmosphere.

“Huh!? What are you talking about all of a sudden!? Don’t joke with me!”

“Not a joke☆”

Ah. They’re back.

“Let me punch you once!”

“As if a human could just touch a god that easily~. You know it’s pointless, and yet you still try. You’re always like that. And this life? You seem especially mean, too☆”

I know my personality sucks!! —Wait. That was a weird way to put it, wasn’t it?

“—You said ‘always’? I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve met you.”

“Every time you die and go through the cycle of reincarnation, we meet, you know? Though, I guess you don’t remember. Otome is special, in a way☆”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“No matter how many times you reincarnate, you always end up with an unhappy life, you know… At this point, it’s like your soul has some kind of curse stuck to it that drags in that kind of fate… So every time, we have a little reflection session-slash-consultation together so that in your next life, you can finally live happily. I tinker with your soul a bit, then you go back into the cycle, and this time makes—what number was it again? Do you remember?”

N-N-N—What is that supposed to meeeean!?!

“Good. If you remembered, I’d be worried I tinkered with your soul so much it bugged out. Especially since this life was relatively happy, and yet you ended it in such a sad way.”

Wait… I’m dead, right? It can’t have been an illness. I knew I was healthy, and in reality, I’d lived a life totally unrelated to anything serious enough to land me in the hospital. There was no warning sign—at least, I don’t think there was. Then was it an accident…? I don’t remember anything at all!?

And besides—“relatively happy,” huh… If that counts as happy, then what were my past lives like? I’m curious, but I’m too scared to ask.

“Ah, you really don’t remember? Well… considering the shock, it wouldn’t be strange for your memory to blank out. Might be better that way…”

H-Hey!? The God in front of me, who’d been talking like they were messing with me this whole time, is sympathizing—just how did I die!?

“Nah, compared to the past, the way you died was better~. It’s just that the timing was the absolute worst…”

“Timing?”

“…Since you’ve managed to forget, isn’t it fine if we just leave it at that~?”

With how this conversation had been going, it made me more anxious when they didn’t tease me. W-Wait… was the timing really that bad? If anything, that makes me think I have to know! But from the flow of the conversation, it’s also obvious I’d be happier if I didn’t. Ugh… And everything I’m thinking is totally getting through to them too, right? God’s eyes look weirdly warm—okay, I’ve decided! Even if I regret it, I don’t care. I want to know how my life ended!

“Please tell me.”

I bowed my head as deeply as I could—or at least, I meant to. I feel like I’m bowing, but I have no idea what it looks like from the outside. If it’s true I’m dead—then maybe I’m just a soul. A ball of light or something? If so, that would explain why I can’t see my body.

“Haa… Otome, you’re always like this. Even when you forget about half of it when you die, you always want to know. Fine—I’ll tell you. You were—on the day of your long-awaited first step as an idol. On the day of your first live show, on your way to your first stage, you were killed by a random attacker. You were supposed to die three years later—stabbed by a fan who turned into a stalker—and yet… why did it happen early? It’s a real mystery. I tweak things when you reincarnate so you can live a happy life, and yet every time… it gets overwritten by a fate of dying young. That’s a mystery too, though.”

“————Idol…”

—Right. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to become an idol, so I worked hard at singing and dancing. In my last year of high school, I passed the audition for a local idol group back home. While attending college, I kept up my lessons, and finally, it was decided I’d perform live at a festival in the neighboring town—and then… it was decided… and then—?

“Hm? Even hearing it doesn’t bring your memory back—you’re seriously messed up. This pattern’s happened twice. Guess I’ll just show you.”

Something like a shogi board appeared in the pure-white space. God snapped their fingers—snap!—and a 3D hologram like you’d see in a sci-fi story displayed itself over the board. It showed me walking through the familiar streets of my town, along with my stepsister, Sakuya.