I Won’t Let the Execution Battalion Die, ~Even If the Empire Falls, We Want to Survive~ - Chapter 3: Banquet of Deadly Poison and the Man Who Won’t Bite ③

The one more surprised by this sudden proposal than me was Second Lieutenant Crimine.

“Me?!”

“That’s right, you. You’re quite petite, aren’t you? The poison would be more effective on you than on that lieutenant there. Probably more than on me as well.”

Certainly, with the same amount of poison, someone with greater body weight would have a survival advantage. Second Lieutenant Crimine was only about 150 centimeters tall and weighed less than Lord Grien.

Lord Grien looked at me with a triumphant expression.

“Even if it’s an amount you could endure, this second lieutenant couldn’t.”

“With respect, the one dueling is myself and you. Second Lieutenant Crimine is merely a witness.”

“Of course I’m dueling with you. But you’re going to win for certain, aren’t you? Then there should be no problem if she eats your portion.”

How troublesome… Well, fine.

“You have a point. Second Lieutenant, please eat in my place.”

Second Lieutenant Crimine’s eyes went round, but she seemed to remember that she was a soldier.

“Y-yes! If those are my orders!”

“Sorry about this. If you get done in by poison, I’ll grant any last wish you have.”

At that, Second Lieutenant Crimine’s face reddened slightly as she snapped to attention with a crisp salute.

“In that case, I’ll do it gladly.”

Seeing this, Lord Grien burst into laughter.

“Hahaha! You truly live up to being feared as the Grim Reaper Battalion. Using your own subordinate as a disposable pawn!”

“She’s not disposable. You’re the one who’s going to die today.”

Wanting to finish this farce quickly, I handed Lord Grien a silver pair of tongs.

“There are twenty-four cookies in total. Please specify which ones we’ll each eat first.”

“Very well.”

Lord Grien smiled slyly and began carefully examining the sweets.

“Since these are baked goods, the poison must be something that doesn’t lose its toxicity when heated. And to put it in such small cookies, it would have to be an extremely potent poison. Am I wrong?”

I answered as expressionlessly as possible while brewing tea to Lord Grien, who was looking at me with a smug face.

“I have no obligation to answer. The duel has already begun.”

“Hmm, I can see your inner anxiety?”

Grinning broadly, Lord Grien compared the cookies.

“On the Black Knight side there’s a crescent moon… Duke Kaisas’s crest. This represents the formation after the Fourth Battle. He defected from the White Knight side, you see. After his mother was poisoned to death… hmm, somehow significant.”

What a long-winded old man. But the more he agonized, the closer his death approached. Let him be.

But suddenly he shrugged his shoulders.

“…No, the crests are just misdirection. You’re just making them look authentic to confuse me. In that case, I’ll make that young lady eat whichever one I’m likely to choose.”

Without hesitation, he selected a fish-shaped cookie from the White Knight side.

“You eat this one. And I’ll take this one.”

What he chose was a cookie shaped like a tower.

“I’ll take Duke Bacherum, who was defeated in battle and died drinking a cup of poison.”

Second Lieutenant Crimine picked up the designated fish cookie and kept glancing at me.

“Is this one safe to eat?”

“Who knows…”

I kept a straight face. Second Lieutenant Crimine looked dejected as she bit into the cookie.

“If I die, please have the lieutenant oversee the autopsy.”

“Understood.”

I nodded and said to Lord Grien.

“Now you eat yours too.”

“Indeed.”

Lord Grien picked up the cookie with his gnarled fingers and crunched it down. He looked quite confident.

Let’s keep this momentum going.

“Please select the next sweet.”

“Hmm. Wait a moment.”

After taking a sip of tea, Lord Grien crossed his arms.

“Now then, which should I choose? I want to see that young lady writhing in agony soon. Let me make a rather sharp move.”

He selected a black leaf-shaped cookie.

“The willow leaf is Duke Fentinen’s crest, but it’s unusually thick. It looks like it was deliberately made thick to put something inside. I’ll give this one to you.”

“I… I understand.”

Second Lieutenant Crimine gingerly picked up the cookie.

“Ugh… I charge forward…”

Second Lieutenant Crimine munched on the cookie and swallowed with a gulp.

Then she looked up at me.

“Lieutenant, there was something bitter inside. I might really be dead this time.”

“Don’t worry. It takes time for symptoms to appear.”

“What’s reassuring about that?!”

I casually ignored my subordinate’s scream and urged Lord Grien.

“Now you too.”

“I’ll take this one.”

Lord Grien selected a white frog-shaped cookie.

“A toad crest is in poor taste, but it’s said that witches use them as ingredients for poison. You probably thought I’d be intimidated since it looks so obviously poisonous.”

“Just eat it.”

What a waste of time.

Lord Grien ate the cookie with dissatisfaction and washed it down with tea.

“However, it’s quite unpalatable. Couldn’t you have prepared something better?”

“My apologies. I didn’t want to use public funds for something that a mere death row inmate and I would be eating.”

When I honestly told the truth, Lord Grien snorted dismissively.

“It’s useless to try to cloud my judgment by making me angry. But this is tedious—shall I select the rest all at once?”

“Please feel free.”

When I readily agreed, Lord Grien chose ten cookies from the remaining twenty.

“These are what I’ll eat. The rest are for you.”

“Y-yes…”

With a tense expression, Second Lieutenant Crimine took the cookies and began nibbling them with her front teeth.

“Lieutenant, how many of these have poison in them? Won’t we both collapse?”

“If we both collapse, the mission is accomplished.”

“Ugh… this heartless superior officer…”

Insulting a superior officer was punishable by imprisonment.

The extremely awkward tea party continued for a while, and all the prepared cookies ended up in their stomachs.

While wiping his mouth with a napkin, Lord Grien sighed.

“Good grief, those were thoroughly unpalatable sweets. Prepare better tools next time. And next time, Lieutenant, you’ll be the one eating them. I’m starting to want to kill you.”

Next time? I couldn’t help but laugh.

“There won’t be a next time. The execution has been carried out.”

“What…?”

With a loud scraping sound, Lord Grien stood up from his chair.