I Was Supposed to Be Feeding the Pigeons, But Somehow I Ended Up Feeding a Beautiful Demon Lord Instead - 22

Chapter 22

I’ve always thought meetings are basically a waste of time. Back in my previous life during my black-company days, I spent hundreds of precious hours of my life being hung out to dry in things called “morning assemblies” and getting blamed left and right in things called “regular progress meetings.”

That’s why I’m very sensitive to the atmosphere in meeting rooms. Whether it’s a productive meeting or a useless one—I can usually tell the moment I step inside from how heavy the air feels.

And right now, the air in this room I’d been brought into was, without a doubt, the absolute worst kind.

Sitting around the round table were five people, including Bel and Zest. The other three were people I was meeting for the first time, but every single one of them had an extremely strong presence.

One was a huge man built like a muscle daruma. He was shirtless with leather belts wrapped around his upper body. Probably the kind of foreman who runs the civil engineering section.

Next was a gloomy, skeleton-thin man who kept muttering to himself. Definitely the type obsessed with numbers—probably accounting or legal affairs.

And the last one was a big-sister type wearing a very revealing bondage-style outfit… Public relations? Is this outfit really okay with the city hall’s compliance standards?

“…So you’ve come.”

The muscle daruma glared at me. His eyes were sharp, looking like he might bite my head off at any second.

“This is the so-called ‘external advisor’? He looks like a frail human. What can someone with such skinny arms even do?”

I got dissed right from the first meeting. Well, craftsmen who came up through the field usually hate amateurs.

“Volg, hold your tongue.”

Bel, sitting at the head of the table, spoke with full dignity.

“This person was personally invited by me. His knowledge is on a completely different level from the muscle-brains you all have.”

“…Heh. Fine, I’ll watch what he can do.”

The muscular man called Volg snorted and leaned back arrogantly. Prompted by Zest, I sat in the chair prepared next to Bel. Spread across the round table were stacks of parchment and some very complicated-looking blueprints. It seemed they were dealing with a pretty serious problem.

“Then continue the situation report.”

At Bel’s command, the meeting resumed.

“Regarding the capture of the western ‘Sanctuary,’ we are facing great difficulties.”

The gloomy man who seemed to be in charge of accounting spoke in a low, ominous mutter.

“The strength of the barrier is far beyond our expectations. If we try to force it open, our own losses will only keep growing…”

“Argh, shut up!”

Volg slammed the table.

“Stop fussing over tiny calculations! If you just let my unit charge in, I’ll turn that wall into flat ground in three days!”

“That’s exactly why I’m saying it’s inefficient. Is your brain made of muscle too?”

“Haaah!? What did you just say, you bastard!”

“Oh come on, stop it, both of you. It’s unsightly.”

The bondage big-sister type cut in lazily while filing her nails.

“Brute force is so outdated. The smartest way is to let my ‘Charm’ unit collapse them from the inside. Humans are helpless the moment you show them a woman.”

Shouting. Cursing. Blaming each other. It was the classic pattern of a “terrible meeting.” Field workers, management, and sales all stubbornly refusing to give up their own territory.

I sighed inwardly. Everyone’s exhausted, aren’t they? Their eyes were bloodshot and their complexions were terrible. They must be under crushing deadlines. I didn’t know exactly what this “Sanctuary capture” project was, but it was probably some huge redevelopment operation or something.

The relocation negotiations were almost certainly going badly.

“…Um, excuse me for a moment?”

I timidly raised my hand. Instantly, every pair of eyes at the round table stabbed toward me.

“What is it, human? You don’t have the right to—”

“Wait, Volg. …Kazuya, do you have some kind of idea?”

Bel threw me a lifeline. I cleared my throat.

“It’s not so much an idea, but… doesn’t everyone seem a little too tense? With this sharp, edgy atmosphere, no good ideas are going to come out.”

Volg frowned at my words.

“Edgy… you say? Of course we’re edgy! This is war we’re talking about! Lives are on the line!”

“Yes, I understand. People’s livelihoods are at stake, after all.”

I nodded deeply. When the future of the company—or in this case, probably the army—is on the line, it really does feel like life or death.

“But there’s an old saying: you can’t fight on an empty stomach. So how about we take in a little sugar first?”

I rummaged through my cloth bag and pulled something out. It was yesterday’s leftovers, but the quality was still guaranteed. Special red-bean anpan. I placed five of them on the round table.

The moment the anpan appeared, the entire atmosphere in the meeting room changed completely. The executives stared at the round buns as if they were looking at time bombs.

“…What is this?”

The gloomy man asked while tearing one in half, full of suspicion.

“The surface looks burnt black… and there’s something pitch-dark lurking inside…”

“Is it an explosive? Or maybe a poisoned offering?”

Volg braced himself.

“It’s anpan. Just regular sweet bread.”

I answered cheerfully.

“It’s great for recovering from fatigue. Especially helpful for people doing heavy mental work. Bel-san likes it a lot too, right?”

When I turned to her, Bel coughed lightly.

“…Ahem. This is ‘alchemical food’ created by Kazuya. It’s not poison. I guarantee it.”

She picked up the nearest one, split it open with practiced ease, and took a big bite.

“Mmm… yes, this is it. This sweetness… it calms my raging magical power…”

The Demon Lord wore an expression of pure bliss while chewing. Seeing that, the executives started murmuring.

“The Demon Lord ate it without the slightest hesitation…!”

“That ominous black thing…!?”

“…I’ll try it.”

Surprisingly, Volg was the first to move. He picked up an anpan suspiciously, sniffed it, then cautiously brought it to his mouth. Chomp. He bit off more than half in one go.

Chew. Chew. And then—he froze.

“…!?”

Volg’s eyes flew wide open. The fierce, demon-like expression on his face quickly melted away.

“Wh-what is this…! Sweet…! Violently sweet…!”

“What’s with the drama?”

The bondage big-sister also took a bite, drawn in.

“Nn…! No way!? This dough is softer than my own skin…! And this dark paste inside… so rich and thick, clinging stickily to the tongue… what an indecent flavor!”

Her food review was way too unique. The gloomy man started eating silently too, then began to tremble.

“I can’t calculate it… the components of this taste… they’re impossible to analyze…! Wheat, red beans, sugar… just that simple combination, and yet why does it produce this level of bliss…!?”

All three executives were completely tripped out over a single anpan. I nodded in satisfaction. Like I thought—when people are exhausted, sugar is the answer. The tense, murderous atmosphere in the room gradually turned soft and fluffy like freshly baked bread.

“Hmm… not bad.”

Volg said while licking the poppy seeds off his fingers.

“The moment I ate it, I felt every muscle in my body relax. …If I eat this before battle, unnecessary tension might disappear and my performance could actually improve.”

“Yes. I can confirm a mental stabilization effect too. If we give it to prisoners before interrogation, they might open up more easily.”

“The cost-performance is also outstanding. For this amount of mass, the calories and satisfaction level… as rations, it’s revolutionary.”

I felt like they were considering some pretty dangerous uses, but well… as long as they liked it, I guess it’s fine. I also handed out coffee to everyone. Anpan and coffee. There was no way this ultimate combination could fail.

A few minutes later, the Demon Lord army’s top brass were completely melted.

“…So, how is it? Feeling a little calmer now?”

When I asked, Volg let out a deep sigh.

“Yeah… somehow, all that shouting suddenly feels stupid. There’s no need for me to be the one charging at the front to destroy a single wall. I can leave it to my subordinates and just sit in the back eating this.”

“Oh, same here. Going to the front lines to seduce men is such a hassle. Maybe I’ll just give instructions through communication magic from now on.”

“From an accounting standpoint too, budgeting for an ‘anpan fund’ for a quick decisive battle would be far cheaper than dragging out a war of attrition…”

Perfectly, everyone’s motivation vector had shifted. From “warmongering” to “energy-saving.” The very first step toward work-style reform.

“Kazuya.”

Bel looked at me with admiration.

“I never imagined you could tame my bloodthirsty Four Heavenly Kings with just a few pieces of sweets. You truly are a terrifying man.”

“Huh? It was just a snack break.”

“A break… I see. So this is the advanced tactic of ‘resting to sharpen one’s spirit.’”

Bel grinned.

“Very well. Approved. From now on, our army will regularly implement ‘anpan breaks.’ Kazuya, I leave the supply entirely in your hands.”

“Ah, yes. I’ll buy them from the shop. Is ‘Royal Army’ okay for the receipt?”

“Indeed. Put it on expenses.”

And so, the Demon Lord army’s meeting ended in an astonishingly peaceful manner. The all-out attack on the western Sanctuary was apparently changed to the mysterious strategy of “for now, let’s feed the soldiers anpan and see how things go.”

“Well then, I’ll be going.”

As I left the meeting room, the burning gazes of the Four Heavenly Kings followed my back.

“That guy… he’s no ordinary human…”

“He controlled our fighting instincts with nothing but appetite…”

“Truly… the ‘Ruler of Stomachs’…”

All this just for bringing in some bread. It really showed how harshly Bel usually worked them.

Pretending I hadn’t heard anything, I transferred back to the usual royal capital.