I Was Reincarnated as a Mob Noble, and I Swear I'll Protect the Villainess Who Got Married Off to Me No Matter What ~To Dodge Our Total Downfall, I Went All Out Training My Trash Skill [Super Recovery] Through Crazy Hard Work, and Before I Knew It, I Could Totally Wreck the Game Protagonist Who Condemned My Wife Easily

Chapter 48: Comeuppance Time. Saintess Alicia Freaks Out as Her Plan Starts Falling Apart

[Saintess Alicia’s POV]

“Thank you so much, Saintess Alicia!”

“Amazing… so this is [Miracle of Healing]…!?”

On the road leading the volunteer army toward the Greivan frontier count territory, I—Saintess Alicia—stood there in the glow of the setting sun while three soldiers gazed up at me with sparkling, worshipful eyes.

These guys had gone ahead into town to secure a fancy inn for me to stay in, but they got a little roughed up by some monster attack along the way. So I just tossed a quick Heal on them, easy peasy.

“That’s right—this is God’s own work, the [Miracle of Healing]. With this, I’m gonna save the kingdom!”

I puffed out my chest and struck a dramatic pose, and the soldiers around me exploded into cheers.

“She’s a real savior! With Saintess Alicia here, we’re invincible!”

“The Balzark Empire army? Pfft, nothing to be scared of!”

“Under Saintess, we’ll protect the kingdom to the end!”

Pfft, what a bunch of easy marks.

Inside, I was fighting hard not to burst out laughing.

These idiots were the roughly ten thousand volunteers I’d gathered under the grand cause of “protecting the kingdom” using my saintess title.

They’re just pawns so I can become queen first by turning into a national hero.

That’s why even for tiny little scratches, I made a big show of using [Miracle of Healing] on them—to crank up their devotion to me as much as possible.

By drilling it into them like this the whole way, I’d turn them into obedient lapdogs who follow my every order.

“I’m going to save the precious lives of the people from the empire army! That’s my duty as a saintess! For love and justice, please lend me your strength, everyone!”

“Uoooooooh! Long live Saintess!”

“What an incredibly kind person…!”

I let my eyes well up with tears as I shouted, and the dumb guys all roared in unison.

Yes yes, smooth sailing, smooth sailing!

Truth is, I couldn’t care less about the people’s lives.

Talking about love and justice honestly makes me wanna puke.

But hey, it’s all for becoming queen.

When I announced I was leading the volunteer army to help the Greivan frontier count, Crown Prince Harold literally cried tears of gratitude.

He kept saying Alicia is wonderful, a true saintess.

Harold was getting more and more obsessed with me.

Totally according to plan!

Except… Harold started yelling that he “couldn’t let Alicia face danger alone!” and insisted on marching to the frontier himself too. It was a huge pain to talk him out of it.

If he actually tagged along, the whole plan would go straight down the drain.

Because this volunteer army isn’t heading out to help the frontier count army—it’s going to wipe them out.

The scenario I had in mind was: “I, the saintess, marched out to protect the kingdom, but Greivan frontier count Baldo betrayed us to the empire to secure his own position, leading to our defeat.”

During the battle with the empire army, I’d shout, “Take down the traitor Sword Saint Baldo!” and send the church operatives I’d planted in the volunteers charging straight at him.

The “reinforcements” would instantly turn into internal enemies.

These heroism-drunk morons who blindly believe in me would get swept up and start attacking Sword Saint Baldo’s main force too, throwing the frontier count army into total chaos and wiping them out.

And if, worst case, Zenon or Valeria objected and got the volunteers positioned far away from Baldo’s headquarters? No problem.

I’d just poison the wells.

The frontier count army, drinking contaminated water, would drop like flies. Blame it on the empire army, and my hands stay clean.

Well… it would also deal a pretty heavy blow to the empire forces occupying the territory afterward, so it’s a bit risky.

I need the empire to invade and take over a decent chunk of the country, though—for building my glorious saintess savior legend.

…But above everything else, the top priority is killing Zenon and Valeria, the ones getting in the way of my ambitions.

Zenon, who has the same [Miracle of Healing] as me. And Valeria, the duke’s daughter who used to be engaged to Harold—they’re teaming up, the arrogant brats, trying to judge and condemn me of all people.

Heh heh. But no matter how much they struggle, the frontier count army’s defeat is already set in stone.

The lord himself—Sword Saint Baldo—personally requested reinforcements. There’s no way he can refuse mine.

If he tries something stupid like that, I’ll just use communication magic to cry to Harold.

“Harold, something’s wrong with Sword Saint Baldo! He must be secretly working with the empire to kill me! Alicia’s so sad… waaahhh!”

Like that.

Then I paint Sword Saint Baldo as a traitor and drive him straight to ruin.

“Ahahahahaha, perfect!”

I burst out laughing—then noticed something weird.

“…Huh?”

[Necromancer] Gideon had secretly stationed an S-rank undead monster, [Phantom Lord] , above my carriage where no one else would notice…

But that presence had vanished at some point.

Since my saintess [Miracle of Healing] can also purify undead, I’m extra sensitive to their aura.

“…Tch, that idiot Gideon slacking off!? That damn old geezer!”

I clicked my tongue without thinking.

Summoning and controlling undead consumes life force, so maybe Gideon hated that and dismissed the [Phantom Lord] while we were still far from the frontier count territory.

You could keep undead summoned far away from the caster if there was a catalyst at the spot, but still.

Surrounded by all these praising soldiers, I headed back to my carriage.

“…A sign of the god-defying existence [Healing Potion] has been detected in the Greivan frontier count territory.”

The moment I stepped into the carriage, a middle-aged man dressed as a priest muttered something bizarre to himself.

This was the so-called Divine Punishment Enforcer Kamael, sent by His Holiness the Pope as a force to take down Zenon.

“W-what a creepy guy…!”

Goosebumps prickled all over my skin.

This dude was just incomprehensible, way too weird—I seriously didn’t wanna deal with him.

When we first met, he didn’t even greet me, the saintess, so I decided to teach him his place and stabbed him in the neck with a knife.

I can Heal it right away, so no big deal. I always pull this on anyone who looks down on me.

Normally they freak out and become super obedient after that.

But something insane happened.

The knife sank right into Kamael’s neck with a squelch—and then got absorbed into his body.

No blood, nothing. He just stood there like it was nothing, even though I’d almost killed him. No emotion, no reaction toward me at all—just standing.

Even I got scared of this guy.

His Holiness sent a letter about him that said:

『Saintess Alicia. The Divine Punishment Enforcer Kamael will neither obey your commands nor protect your life. He accompanies you solely to eliminate Zenon Greivan—the man granted a skill by a demon that could destroy the world in defiance of God.』

『Do not interfere with this man in any way. Even I cannot give orders to a Divine Punishment Enforcer.』

『Know that ensuring Zenon’s complete elimination is the will of God.』

I had no idea what the hell the letter even meant.

His Holiness was saying that wiping out Zenon took priority over the scheme to let the empire crush the frontier count army.

And to use Kamael for that…

I tried asking Kamael questions to figure out what was really going on, but he stayed dead silent the whole time.

He never interferes with me either, so I just left him alone.

Riding in the same carriage as this guy is pure torture, but His Holiness’s letter also said to keep him out of sight as much as possible, so I had no choice but to let him tag along.

No one dares climb into my carriage without permission anyway.

“W-welcome back, Saintess Alicia!”

Inside, another person waited—a seventeen-year-old girl who was a communication mage. She greeted me with a stiff, awkward smile.

“Hey, you worthless bitch! Get Gideon on the line right now!”

I plopped down hard on the seat and barked the order at her.

This girl came from the same church orphanage as me. But she never got the [Saintess] skill—instead God gave her the [Communication] magic skill, and she ended up in the church’s dark side.

Meaning in the church hierarchy, I’m way above her. I can treat her like a slave, no problem.

“I-I’m terribly sorry! We lost contact with Gideon a little while ago. I’ve tried calling him over and over with communication magic, but…”

The girl answered, body rigid with tension.

“Huh? What about the bodyguard duty I assigned him!?”

“Eek!? I-I’m so sorry, Saintess!”

When I yelled, her face twitched and she apologized frantically.

A bit earlier I’d stabbed her in the neck with a knife just to vent, and ever since she’s been completely terrified of me.

“Tch, this is bad…”

With ten thousand troops around me, I don’t have to worry about monsters or bandits threatening my life.

But if Valeria pulls a surprise attack with her undead Schwarz Ritter, that’s a whole different story.

In this world, quality beats quantity when it comes to soldiers.

A flimsy volunteer army like this would get overrun and the enemy would reach my headquarters in no time.

That’s why I felt safe with an S-rank monster on guard duty…

The church operatives alone aren’t reliable enough protection.

I mean, Schwarz Ritter is the kingdom’s strongest knight order.

Since that weirdo Kamael is zero help as a bodyguard, Gideon’s S-rank monster was my lifeline—and now it’s gone. That’s fatal.

“…I’m Saintess Alicia, loved by God! How dare that geezer Gideon abandon someone as great as me!? Whatever he’s doing, get him here now! I’m gonna chew him out!”

“…!?”

In a fit of rage, I grabbed the girl by the neck and slammed the back of her head against the wall.

She almost screamed, but to protect my “kind-hearted saintess” image even a little, she desperately held it in and endured.

This girl is my personal punching bag—I can hurt her as much as I want whenever I need to blow off steam.

Today I’m gonna torment her good.

“N-no good… still no response! Possible reasons… maybe Gideon is sleeping, or… or…”

“Or what?”

“Or maybe he was attacked—killed or captured!? Otherwise it’s unnatural that the communication mage stationed there has gone silent too!”

“Huh…? Wait, hold on. Even if that old man’s useless, you’re saying the top assassin in the dark side got taken out in an ambush? No way… right…?”

I felt a serious wave of confusion.

Gideon had gone into hiding after Zenon figured out he was the one behind the attempted assassination of the crown prince.

His hideout was a secret location known only to a few high-ranking church members.