I Was Oblivious to the Subtle ‘Yandere’ Side of My Nonchalant Sex Friend Gyaru - Chapter 26-27

Chapter 26: 

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The train on the way back was packed like a can of sardines. I couldn’t even think about sitting down; I could barely move as I clung to the handrail. As I made my way home alone, I kept replaying my conversation with Asou-san in my head.

“Do you have someone you like?”

I couldn’t say yes or no to that question.

Seeing me unable to give a clear answer, she hesitated and said.

“If you do, you should probably come buy this with that person instead.”

Of course, I didn’t believe in charms, so I tried to just stay in the queue. But Asou-san said.

“Don’t worry. I’ll tell my friend. I mean, if things don’t work out with that person, it’d feel like it was my fault.”

And then, she quickly stepped out of the line. So in the end, we left the store without buying anything. After that, she said she’d wander around the city a bit since we’d come all this way, and then disappeared into the crowd.

I got on the train alone after that.

“…What the hell am I doing, really?”

When the train stopped, I was pushed along by the crowd getting off and stepped out onto the platform. Once outside the station, I found myself in the same familiar streets as always.

I walked a little ways back to my part-time place, which had been our meeting point, and just then, I spotted the manager coming out of the store.

“Oh, Aoyama-kun. Weren’t you out shopping with Asou-kun today?”

“H-Hello. Well, we ended up splitting up there.”

“Haha~ That’s very modern of you two. Still, I’m surprised you’d spend your day off going shopping with someone.”

“You think so?”

“Haha, sorry, sorry. But you know, Asou-kun seems so much brighter these days, thanks to you. Keep getting along well with her, okay?”

The manager, looking a bit giddy himself, wandered off somewhere after that. Come to think of it, he said he was meeting his girlfriend for the first time in a while today. He mentioned they’d been together since college.

Even though they couldn’t see each other often, he stayed devoted to her alone. That was really impressive.

I wished Asou-san could learn from him instead of letting her heart wander so quickly.

“…Please don’t fall for me just because I was nice to you.”

Even someone as dense as me could tell she was starting to have feelings for me. It might not have been love, especially so soon after her breakup. But she clearly had a genuine fondness for me and I just didn’t think I could return those feelings.

That was why I’d run away like this.

“…She’s not here yet.”

I made it back to my apartment, but there was no sign of Kurenai. I went inside, lay down alone on my bed, and stared up at the ceiling as I let out a long sigh. Then, a message came in.

『Sorry about today. I’m on the train now. Let’s do our best at work tomorrow.』

Reading that message, I sighed again.

“Haa… I really messed up.”

Even though I’d agreed to help with the shopping, I’d been restless the whole time. I probably didn’t say it out loud, but my body language screamed that I just wanted to go home. Anyone would feel bad seeing someone act that jittery.

I’m the worst.

“…I hope she gets here soon.”

I kept glancing at the entrance over and over. But no matter how long I waited, Kurenai never showed up. I lay down, peeked at the entrance again, and repeated that over and over.

Before I knew it, evening had come.

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Chapter 27: 

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『I’m sorry about today. I’ll definitely make it up to you.』

It was quite a while before I finally replied to Asou-san. But even so, she messaged me back right away.

『Then, if you tell me about the person you like tomorrow, I’ll forgive you, okay?』

It was obvious how kind she was. However, talking about the person I liked… I doubted I could live up to her expectations. In the first place, I didn’t even know if I actually liked her. And yet, we were already doing everything lovers did.

Still, I hardly knew anything about her. Could I really talk to someone else about a relationship like that? A relationship I couldn’t even admit to anyone—what did that say about me in the first place?

Lately, I’d been going in circles with those same questions. While I was lost in my own dismay, the outside had grown dark.

“She never showed up after all…”

Even though it was already completely night, Kurenai still hadn’t come. Had she come here before I got home, only to leave again? Or did asking her to come over make her lose interest in me?

Sitting alone in the pitch-dark room, the thoughts weighed on me until I felt like I was going to be crushed. I couldn’t take it anymore and jumped up to head outside. Then—

“Ah.”

As soon as I dashed out the front door, there she was: Kurenai, standing right there.

“W-What… You were here?”

“I just got here. So? Are you going somewhere?”

“N-No… Not really.”

I hadn’t expected to see her tonight, and just the sight of her usual calm face made my heart race so much I couldn’t hide it. When I quickly averted my gaze, she said with an exasperated tone.

“Is it Asou-senpai again?”

I hurriedly shook my head to deny it.

“N-No! I mean, you were late, so—”

“Well, I didn’t want to come and end up waiting forever again.”

“But still—”

“Now you know what it feels like to be kept waiting, right?”

“Huh?”

“Anyway, if you’re not going anywhere, hurry up and get back inside. There are so many bugs out here.”

She brushed past me and headed into the room first. Then, sitting down on the bed without saying anything, she looked unmistakably upset.

“…Hey, are you still mad?”

“I don’t remember being mad at you in the first place.”

“Being kept waiting… It’s lonely, isn’t it?”

The words slipped out of my mouth before I realized. Kurenai’s eyes widened as she looked at me.

“…That’s…”

“The other day, I made you wait, didn’t I? I’m sorry about that. From now on, if I have plans, I’ll tell you properly.”

“…What is that supposed to mean?”

“No, I just—”

“Forget it. I’m taking a shower.”

Still clearly in a bad mood, Kurenai disappeared into the bathroom.

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“Haa… I guess I got my hopes up for a second.”

He apologized for making me wait. How many times had I imagined him saying something like that? Imagining him accepting me? But… Even though it didn’t turn out how I’d hoped, I felt a little relieved. Because if he actually directed those kinds of feelings at me, I wasn’t sure I could accept them straight on.

I’d grown up watching my parents fight all the time, convinced love was a lie, throwing myself into softball all the way through middle school. Then I got confessed to by a boy everyone said was the most popular in class. When I turned him down, my teammates started giving me the cold shoulder.

That only convinced me more that love was crap. And then he appeared, suddenly, in front of me. Right after I started school, a senpai who had a reputation for being one of the worst delinquents was already stalking me. That day, the senpai kept pestering me relentlessly.

I’d been thinking if he wouldn’t give up, I’d just grab a flower vase nearby and smash it over his head. But then, like it was nothing, he stepped in, peeled the senpai’s hand off me, and twisted him down in an instant. I was stunned.

At the time, I just thought, “Wow, what an amazing guy.” But he didn’t demand anything from me in return. He was just genuinely worried about me and then left like it was no big deal. Seeing his back as he walked away made something inside me waver.

So I went to his place. I followed him. I didn’t understand if it was love or not. But I knew I didn’t want him to belong to anyone else. And I didn’t want to belong to anyone but him. Those feelings made me want him to hold me. And even now…

…But, I was still scared. I was scared that this fragile situation would break apart. I was scared that if I asked for something more than just a convenient relationship, I would be rejected. I was scared that if we tried to have a proper relationship, like a couple, I wouldn’t be able to face it with honesty.

I don’t trust other people. I don’t even trust myself. I don’t trust anything.

“…What am I even doing?”

Staring blankly at the water streaming down in the shower, I ran my hand over my slightly sweaty skin.

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