I Was Just a Losing Jail Guard, but When I Was Kind to the Captured Heroines, the Game’s Story Fell Apart. - Chapter 22: The Losing Jail Guard Cooks Boar Cutlets

Chapter 22: The Losing Jail Guard Cooks Boar Cutlets

“Alright, what should I make…”

I stood in front of a mountain of meat, deep in thought.

The boar-like monster Laecia had brought back had high-quality, delicious-looking meat.

A simple steak would’ve been amazing, no doubt. But since Laecia had raised the stakes with her grand declaration, I felt the need to step up my game.

Hmm…

“We’re about to head into a battle, so how about some cutlets for good luck?”

Well, technically it’s boar, not pork, so… boar cutlets?

While I butchered the boar, I asked Laecia to gather as many eggs as she could.

I bought flour from a merchant who had come to the royal army’s camp to sell food and alcohol, and I made breadcrumbs by grinding up the bread rations given to the soldiers.

For the grinding, I used a mixer made by Elette.

Once the ingredients were ready, I seasoned the boar meat and dusted it with flour.

After shaking off the excess flour, I dipped the meat into the eggs Laecia had brought, then coated it with breadcrumbs.

The final step was to drop it into hot oil —and done!

By the way, the oil was something Elette had acquired from Nea.

Apparently, it wasn’t for any golem modifications or anything; Elette just grabbed whatever she could.

Elette is terrifying.

“This smells amazing…”

“It’s making me hungry.”

“Yes, this is exactly what I was hoping for!!”

The sound of oil sizzling and the irresistible aroma of fried food quickly attracted a crowd of soldiers.

“Hey, what’s that smell? It’s incredible!”

“Apparently, one of Lady Katiana’s friends is cooking.”

“Lady Katiana’s? When did she befriend a chef?”

“Who cares about that? What are they making? It smells absolutely delicious.”

“Wait, is that… fried in oil?”

At this point, something felt off to me.

Every single soldier was reacting like they’d never seen fried food before.

Humans aren’t as indifferent to food as demons are, so I figured they’d have some experience with tasty dishes. Their awe was puzzling.

Oh, wait. Isn’t frying a relatively recent cooking method? I vaguely remember hearing something about that somewhere.

But anyway, that’s not the point right now.

“Uh, I’ll make enough for everyone, so could you stop staring at me so much?”

Their constant, eager gazes were making it hard to concentrate.

The boar Laecia brought back was huge, so there was more than enough meat to feed all the soldiers.

Seriously, there’s plenty to go around —no need to worry!

“Oh, looks like it’s ready.”

I noticed the sound of the frying cutlets change, so I quickly pulled them out of the oil.

After letting the freshly fried cutlets cool for a moment, I sliced one open with a knife and took a bite to taste-test it.

“Hot!!”

As expected, it was piping hot.

But the crispy coating had a satisfying crunch, and the seasoning was spot on. The meat was tender and flavorful.

I thought the boar meat might have a strong gamey taste, but it wasn’t an issue at all.

To be honest, though, I wish I had some sauce…

If I’d known I’d be cooking out here, I would’ve grabbed some from the Demon Lord’s castle.

“Hot! Mmm, but… this is delicious…”

“It’s amazing. You’re impressive as always, Lugus-suss.”

“H-Hot! Ow! I burned my tongue!!”

Katiana, Elette, and Laecia all gave it glowing reviews.

Now, what about the soldiers?

“What… what is this!?”

“The outside is so crunchy! And the inside… the meat is so juicy and rich!!”

“It’s incredible!! The more I chew, the better it tastes!!”

“Hey, give me your share!!”

“Don’t take two for yourself!!”

The soldiers were just as enthusiastic, but their eagerness to get their share turned into a full-blown scramble. Arguments broke out as they fought over the boar cutlets.

Katiana, alarmed, quickly stepped in to calm things down, but it looked like it might escalate into an all-out brawl.

And then, at that moment—

“What’s all this commotion!?”

An important-looking bald man with a tiny mustache stormed over, clearly drawn by the noise.

Judging by his outfit, he must be someone high-ranking in the royal army.

“What is this? Who made this?”

The mustached officer frowned as he looked at the boar cutlets I had prepared.

One of the soldiers eagerly pointed at me and said, “This man made them!” as he proudly offered a plate of the cutlets to the officer.

And then… the mustached man swatted the plate to the ground, sending the cutlets flying.

…HA?

““““Ahhh!?””””

The soldiers collectively gasped in horror, staring at the cutlets now lying in the dirt.

Katiana, who had been watching, muttered, “This is bad…” with a worried look on her face.

“To think, you’re getting excited over food before an important battle! Are you truly soldiers of this proud kingdom? If you’ve got time to waste, use it for training! Training!!”

The mustached man shouted, grinding the fallen cutlets under his boot as he berated the soldiers.

Yeah, sure.

Maybe he was feeling the pressure of the upcoming battle to reclaim the capital.

Maybe the stress had gotten to him —after all, the poor guy was completely bald.

It’s likely he reached his breaking point seeing the soldiers enjoying themselves while he was already on edge.

But let me just do this:

“You! I don’t know how you managed to worm your way into Lady Katiana’s favor, but acting on your own like this—”

“Hey, clench your teeth.”

What’s done is done, but this is a separate issue.

I punched the mustached man square in the face, sending him staggering, and then followed it up with a solid kick.

He fell flat on the ground.

“Gah! W-What are you—gah!!”

“You piece of trash!! Don’t you dare waste food!! Ever heard the saying, ‘An army marches on its stomach,’ you worthless scumbag!?”

I delivered a few more kicks to the man as he writhed on the ground.

Why does this world have so many people who treat food like garbage?

Katiana quickly rushed over to stop me.

“Wait, wait!! Sir Lugus!! Calm down!! I’ll see to it that he’s punished properly! Please, control your anger!!”

“Huff… puff…”

I managed to get my temper under control and returned to my cooking.

When I glanced at the soldiers, I noticed they were all frozen in place, watching the entire scene unfold.

Perfect.

“Listen up, soldiers. If you want to eat, line up in an orderly fashion. And if anyone dares to waste food, they’re getting punched.”

““““Yes, sir!!!!””””

The soldiers immediately stopped fighting over the boar cutlets and formed a neat line, waiting for their turn like model recruits.

The next day, the royal army finally launched their decisive battle to reclaim the capital from the rebel forces.

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[Afterword] 

A Random Tidbit

Author: “Out of all fried foods, I like croquettes the most.”

L: “Making them from scratch is such a hassle, though.”

If you thought, “Yeah, you should never waste food,” “The soldiers are hilarious,” or “Croquettes are so tasty,” please leave a comment, bookmark, give a ★ rating, or write a review!