Chapter 33 – A Convoluted but Clear Name

There’s a saying: “Attach yourself to a dragon’s tail.”

While the detailed explanation of this phrase is rather harsh, the meaning is essentially “If you follow someone exceptional, even an ordinary person can achieve great things.”

Conversely, it can also mean “Even if you’re getting results, don’t overestimate your own abilities.”

In the end, Gaikaku was the amazing one—the rest of them were nothing special at all.

After witnessing a real knight order, they were painfully aware of this fact, and their mood remained low throughout the entire march.

Gaikaku had initially thought, Well, can’t be helped, but as they finally approached the battle lines at the Medusa Ruins, he lost his temper.

“Listen up, you lot! You already knew you were bottom-tier, didn’t you?! Don’t go getting crushed by reality now!!”

“…No, we were seriously being presumptuous. We’re not worthy of being called knights.”

“We can’t bear the same name as those battle-hardened veterans…”

“Should we go back to being the Lowly Slave Knight Order…?”

“Ugh…”

With their rendezvous with allied forces imminent, this low morale was a problem.

Gaikaku rallied his troops.

“You don’t have to be cheerful—just keep up appearances!”

The exemplar of an adult, shouting at them to fake it.

Hearing this, his subordinates made openly displeased faces.

After all, he wasn’t even telling them to cheer up. Of course they’d be unhappy.

But even so, acting like an adult means trying your best—that’s what he was saying.

“Listen carefully. Where we’re heading, there are allied forces in trouble. They’ve heard from above that we’re coming. They’re being pushed back by the enemy, on the verge of defeat. In that situation, a knight order is coming to help… and this is your attitude!!”

“…”

“Put yourself in the allied forces’ shoes for a second—they’re facing this before the battle even starts!!”

Imagining it, yes, that would be terrible.

They were already weak, and now they’d get reinforcements with no motivation? The worst.

“Listen up! If you guys lack motivation and we end up at a disadvantage because of it, I’ll be the one taking responsibility!!”

“How will you take responsibility?”

“I’ll have to treat every single injured soldier from the allied forces!!”

“…You can do that?”

“I brought medical supplies, just in case! But we don’t have the Artillery Corps, so no assistants! And it’ll definitely be a financial loss!”

Gaikaku wasn’t a medical professional, so he was selective about patients.

But conversely, if a sense of responsibility arose that he had to heal them, he would do it.

Reluctantly, but thoroughly. Not that he wanted to.

“Anyway… Supreme Knight Commander Tistria said it too, right? If you can do a knight order’s job, you’re a proper knight order. Pull off a big success on this battlefield, and nobody will complain.”

“Think we can pull it off? Our only magitech weapon this time is our Fresh Golems…”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. The new Fresh Golems haven’t had many chances for real combat… but that means we’ve been able to make repeated improvements. Frankly speaking, they’re stronger than your average ogre.”

The previous Fresh Golems were items that, even when worn, barely kept pace with an ordinary ogre.

There was also the emergency option of chemical enhancement, but since it assumed disposability, it wasn’t something they could use frequently.

However, the new Fresh Golems, while maintaining the same muscle strength, had improved combat capabilities, he claimed.

If Gaikaku said so, it must be true.

“Once you actually fight on the battlefield, it’ll be obvious. The dark elves will support us too—we’ll definitely be huge successes!”

“If Boss says so, then it must be…!”

Ultimately, results were what mattered.

From the perspective of those being saved, the manner of salvation wasn’t important.

Even if they were anxious at first, the standard flow was to perform as well as a knight order and receive gratitude.

“Anyway, I’m not saying pretend you’re knights, but at least march like you’re proper soldiers!”

The group, told to keep up appearances.

Treating this as part of the job, they finally approached the encampment where their allies waited.

And as they drew closer… it was quite a gruesome scene.

Many wounded soldiers, given half-hearted treatment, sat with hopeless eyes.

Despite a knight order’s arrival, no one showed any excitement.

Compared to the earlier Conjurer Knights, this encampment was depressingly downcast.

“O-oh, the Conjurer Knights, I presume. We’ve been awaiting you… U-um, I am the commander of this army.”

“Gehihihihihi! Why, how very courteous! I am Gaikaku Hikume, leader of the Conjurer Knights!”

“You’ve come all this way as reinforcements, yet we can’t even give you a proper welcome…”

The commander himself was injured, but he had barely managed to come meet Gaikaku and his group.

However, he was extremely exhausted.

Both body and spirit were in tatters.

“Hmm… this is worse than what I’d heard. Has something happened?”

“Well, you see… there was combat up until just a little while ago…”

“…Still, with morale this low, it’s impressive you’ve survived.”

“The enemy charges in without regard for casualties, so… well, their numbers are declining. That said, they’re apparently getting reinforcements soon…”

(This is bad. Our main force is supposed to be the previous army… At this rate, we can’t fight.)

Gaikaku, who had been acting like a buffoon, felt a sense of crisis in this situation.

“Gehihihihi! It seems everyone is quite exhausted… If you can’t welcome us, then we should be the ones showing consideration!”

“Eh?”

“I was thinking of serving this after our victory, but… let’s call it an early celebration!”

Gaikaku decided to play another card.

“I’ll show you some energizing magic!”

The soldiers on the Medusa front lines were exhausted.

The enemy had been attacking with unusual desperation, which meant having to kill more of them.

They’d endured such fierce battles for quite some time.

Any ordinary soldier with normal nerves couldn’t handle it.

When the enemy came, they had to fight, but otherwise they could do nothing.

They had no appetite and couldn’t sleep well. They felt their life force draining away bit by bit.

They didn’t know if they were alive or dead right now. Awake or asleep—they couldn’t tell anymore.

They’d been told reinforcements were coming, or maybe it was today.

But everyone was too exhausted to care.

“Hm?”

“Wh-what?”

The soldiers sitting on the ground noticed something.

Those who had become living corpses took interest in information reaching their brains through their noses.

“Hey, listen up! Apparently some knight order called the Conjurer Knights has arrived!”

“And the leader of that knight order is cooking, and he’s going to feed us!”

“Why?”

“Who knows?”

Why was the leader of a knight order cooking?

They had no idea, but it smelled amazing.

A scent that hit their heads like a punch, stimulating their appetites.

A violent smell that reminded them they were hungry.

Everyone anticipated that aroma as their hunger accelerated.

Soon after, distribution began.

“Now then, everyone! This is Gaikaku Hikume’s special ‘Mysterious Oatmeal’!! There’s enough for everyone, so don’t push—just eat! Ihihihihihi!”

A decidedly suspicious-looking man presented a decidedly abnormal-smelling dish with a suspicious name.

A large pot contained oatmeal, which he ladled into small bowls.

Even from a distance, they could see additional batches being made for the thousand-strong army.

“…Mm, mmm!!”

The soldiers who received bowls of this mysterious oatmeal couldn’t wait until they left the distribution point—they started eating while walking.

They were eating in silence, gobbling it down.

(Sweet! And somehow… intense! Just, intense!)

Oatmeal with an energy-drink-like flavor.

The soldiers devoured it eagerly, then lined up again for seconds.

It was orderly, yet brimming with vitality.

“Um, Boss… are you making them eat something weird?”

“That’s right, Leader. This is kind of scary…”

“Master, did you mix in some medicine? Something… bad for the body…?”

The subordinates continuing to cook all wore troubled expressions.

They suspected their master had administered chemical hazards to boost morale.

In response, Gaikaku waved his hand dismissively.

“No, I’m not using anything like that.”

(Though I could make it…)

“I am using illegal ingredients, but they’re not bad for your health. Well, if you eat them regularly, that’s a different story.”

Everything had an appropriate amount—eating too much of anything becomes poison, that was common sense.

However, what they were eating now was highly effective, which meant it wasn’t suited for daily consumption.

“I used seasoning made from mushrooms the dark elves have been cultivating for us: ‘False Flame Mushroom,’ ‘False Flame Mushroom Lookalike Mimic,’ ‘Poison-Free Poison-Poison,’ and ‘Non-Poison-Poison Poison-Containing Poison-Free Poison-Poison.'”

“…?”

“…?”

“Um, excuse me. The mushrooms we were growing in that cold, dark place—those were their names?”

Hearing the names, his subordinates didn’t understand.

Actually, they didn’t understand the names themselves.

“It’s convoluted, but these are properly established names. First, there’s a deadly poisonous mushroom called ‘Flame Mushroom,’ and there’s a similar one called ‘False Flame Mushroom,’ and there’s one similar to that called ‘False Flame Mushroom Lookalike,’ and one even more similar to that called ‘False Flame Mushroom Lookalike Mimic.'”

“I understand but I don’t…”

“Also, there’s a poisonous mushroom called ‘Poison-Poison,’ and a harmless relative called ‘Poison-Free Poison-Poison,’ and a harmful relative of that called ‘Poison-Containing Poison-Free Poison-Poison,’ and a beneficial relative of that called ‘Non-Poison-Poison Poison-Containing Poison-Free Poison-Poison.'”

“…You can actually say all that?”

Written out, it made perfect sense, but spoken aloud, it was incomprehensible.

They understood it was being explained carefully, yet felt like they were being bamboozled.

“The names are convoluted, but their appearance is even more convoluted. Even experts have trouble distinguishing between the non-toxic beneficial species and the deadly toxic harmful species. As a result, collecting all of them became illegal.”

“I see, so that happens too…”

“Well, in my case, I have the technology to cultivate mushrooms, so it’s not a problem.”

Looking at the soldiers eating frantically, it was clearly delicious.

That’s probably why people in the past tried to eat them enthusiastically and ended up eating the wrong ones by mistake.

Yes, no wonder they became illegal.

“When people are this exhausted, it’s best to eat something with intense flavor and get a good night’s sleep. After one night’s rest, our allies’ motivation should return. By the way, the specific medicinal effects of ‘False Flame Mushroom,’ ‘False Flame Mushroom Lookalike Mimic,’ ‘Poison-Free Poison-Poison,’ and ‘Non-Poison-Poison Poison-Containing Poison-Free Poison-Poison’ are…”

“Ah, that’s okay…”

The Conjurer Knights returned to cooking.

Gaikaku was only explaining because he’d been asked—he wasn’t in the wrong—but it seemed too difficult for them.

Actually, it wasn’t difficult, just confusing.

Besides, they were making large quantities, so there was no time to waste on idle chatter.

And more importantly, it was preferable not to talk during cooking.

Gaikaku’s subordinates continued cooking according to the recipe.

“However…”

As darkness approached, Gaikaku turned toward where the enemy was.

There didn’t seem to be signs of an enemy attack, but an ominous atmosphere appeared to be drawing near.

(The fact that a commander who’s needlessly getting his subordinates killed is still in command… doesn’t sit right with me. It’s also strange that the subordinates aren’t rebelling…)

Gaikaku voiced the most likely possibility.

“Maybe some rich kid is playing commander.”

Even the genius sorcerer Gaikaku Hikume couldn’t acknowledge the existence of a formidable enemy without evidence.