I Was Cheated on by My Girlfriend but My Devilish Junior Now Yearns for Me - Chapter 88

Chapter 88   Santa’s Words

Maybe because I arrived at the university early, there were still only a few students around.

By about thirty minutes before the first period, the campus grounds would be overflowing with students as usual.

“Senpai, aren’t you looking a bit down? It’s been a whole week since you last saw me, you know!”

“I’m fine. This is just how I am in the morning.”

I replied flatly and sipped my café au lait, which served as my breakfast substitute.

Sitting next to me on a bench on the second floor of Building Six was Shinohara. She’s the only one in this university who calls me “senpai.”

She wore a beige top and a striking red skirt.

Shinohara’s outfit, typical for her, would soon start turning heads once more students arrived. Hopefully, we’d be in the lecture room by then.

“I know you’re not a morning person, Senpai, but you haven’t even looked my way since we sat down. What’s that all about?”

As I pondered how to respond, Shinohara chimed in, her tone brimming with the satisfaction of someone who’d come up with a great idea.

“You don’t have to mean it, you know.”

“If I look at something too cute in the morning, it makes the rest of the day hard.”

“Ahaha, then maybe you should just stay with me all day… Wait, is that what you don’t mean?!”

From the corner of my eye, I saw her dramatically recoil in mock surprise.

I exhaled lightly at her playful reaction.

“Geez, sighing is a no-go this early. It’s been a whole week since you last saw me, and you’re already taking me for granted?”

“…Ah, a whole week already, huh.”

I looked up at the ceiling, leaning fully back against the bench.

But the firm bench didn’t seem to appreciate my relaxed posture, jabbing me uncomfortably.

“It’s been a week since you saw your ex, Senpai. I got busy too and couldn’t visit your place, but I never thought you’d go a whole week without sending me so much as a single message!”

“You didn’t text me either. I’d have replied if you had.”

In a lazy voice, I threw back my reply, and Shinohara grabbed my shoulders, shaking me back and forth.

“I want proactive messages from you, Senpai!”

“Aow aow aow.”

As she shook me, I let out a helpless sound, and suddenly, she let go, nearly causing me to fall off the bench.

I lifted my head, ready to complain—what was she doing, letting go when I’d trusted her to hold me steady?

But seeing Shinohara’s expression, I held back. Her eyes weren’t playful; there was no teasing glint in them.

Though it’s somehow scarier that she’d let me nearly fall without even a hint of joking, I decided to set that thought aside for now.

“So, Senpai. How did it go?”

“…Are we really talking about that here?”

Realizing what Shinohara was asking, I glanced around. There wasn’t a single person in sight.

Maybe it’s because there were no scheduled lectures on this floor, but it was unusual for the area to be completely deserted.

“Yep, here’s fine.”

“…Alright.”

I reluctantly nodded at her confirmation.

Truthfully, I’d planned to tell her when she came over sometime. That day, even though she’s younger, Shinohara had given me the push I needed.

I don’t know if she even realized it, but it’s thanks to this junior of mine that I could start over with Reina.

So, there was no reason to hesitate in telling her what happened.

I tried to speak but found myself grimacing. Then I took another breath and spoke again.

“It was all… my fault.”

“Huh?”

Shinohara blinked in surprise.

Instinctively, I looked down, avoiding her gaze.

But the floor beneath me was cold and lifeless, bringing back the same thoughts that had been running through my head all week.

…If only I’d considered Reina’s feelings, even a little.

Maybe things wouldn’t have ended up like that.

If my frustratingly dense mind had just one extra wrinkle to help me see things from her perspective, maybe we could’ve avoided all that misunderstanding.

I bit down hard on my lip.

It’s really sickening. I never did anything like Sakakishita in high school, hurting people on purpose.

I’m confident that I don’t think in such cruel or selfish ways.

But if, in the end, I still hurt Reina, maybe I’m no better than he was. That thought has been stuck in my head, refusing to leave.

“…Senpai?”

“…I’ll talk.”

I steeled myself, pushing aside my hesitation, and started speaking to Shinohara.

Once I began, she listened silently, letting me share everything.

…Normally, this isn’t something I should tell a third party.

But since she already thought Reina had been unfaithful, I needed to clear up the misunderstanding by explaining what happened last week.

No matter what Reina says, I know that I’m the one to blame.

I left out anything regarding Ayaka.

She did nothing wrong. In fact, there were several times when, despite not knowing Reina personally, she expressed concern about her.

It was all my fault for taking everything too lightly.

When I finished, there was a brief silence.

But soon, I heard her voice, light and clear like a bell.

“So, basically, it just came down to a lack of communication.”

“…Huh?”

Surprised, I looked up to see Shinohara tilting her head slightly.

“When words are lacking, misunderstandings are bound to happen. If you never fully express yourself, it’s only natural for misunderstandings to continue.”

I couldn’t find the right words to respond to Shinohara, so I kept my mouth shut.

…Being able to understand each other without words—that’s often considered the ideal in a relationship. But maybe that’s just wishful thinking. One person, or sometimes both, ends up suppressing something.

The way to reduce the number of times each person has to hold back is by using words to share their thoughts and perspectives. Only after repeatedly rebuilding that understanding can a couple finally develop that occasional, wordless connection.

How was it between Reina and me?

…No need to think too hard. The answer is right here in front of me.

“Senpai, you’ve spent this whole week brooding, haven’t you? It shows on your face.”

Shinohara continued, swinging her feet from the bench.

“But you know, Senpai, it wasn’t just you who lacked communication. Your ex—no, Reina—she must’ve realized that too. That’s why she wanted to start fresh with you, isn’t it?”

“Even so, I’m the one who created the reason for us to break up.”

Sure, if Reina had opened up about her feelings, maybe things would’ve gone smoothly, just like Shinohara said.

But I was the one who caused it by not voicing my own feelings.

There’s no way I could ever say that Reina was at fault. If I hadn’t created that situation, Reina wouldn’t have had to suffer through it—

“These sorts of things can pop up anywhere, you know. This time, it just happened to fall on your side.”

Shinohara got up and stepped in front of me.

With her back turned, she clasped her hands and fidgeted with her fingers, clearly organizing her thoughts. Then, finally, she faced me.

“Supporting each other like that, deepening the connection, becoming like family—that’s what being in a relationship is about, right? Well, not that I would know.”

“…You don’t know?”

After some hesitation, I gave a small retort, and Shinohara nodded.

“Nope, I’ve never had that kind of deep relationship. This is just my opinion, formed from the fake knowledge I’ve gathered from dating shows.”

“Got it.”

We watched those dating shows at home sometimes, too, and they had some serious segments, I guess.

One episode had this really dramatic survey from people on the streets; that one left an impression.

“That’s why, as an outsider listening, my honest opinion is that it’s a matter of both sides. But knowing you, Senpai, you’ll understand my view but probably still won’t be convinced by it, will you?”

Sensing my thoughts, Shinohara’s words hit home, and I nodded.

Her opinion might not align with typical standards, but it’s logical enough that I can’t ignore it. No matter what conclusion I try to reach, I’m unable to sort through my feelings.

“In that case, as someone who’s gotten pretty close with you, I have a couple of things to say!”

Shinohara placed her hands on her hips, standing confidently.

“What you need to do isn’t to keep brooding. You should talk to her, just like you did before you were dating. Right now, what Reina probably wants most is just some normal conversation with you.”

Her tone suggested she understood Reina’s feelings. Maybe there’s something she picks up on as a fellow woman.

…She’s probably not wrong.

The fact that I can’t come up with any argument against her shows how right she is.

“To be honest, I’d rather tell you to stop worrying about Reina altogether, but that’d probably be a bit too blunt! So I decided to keep those thoughts to myself.”

“You just said it, though. You laid it all out,” I replied, realizing I’ve had to call her out on this before.

“And before you say anything else, Senpai, I’m going to get ahead of you,” Shinohara added, suddenly pointing a finger up.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“I mean that I’m not going to hold back on spending time with you, without worrying about Reina. Our relationship may be a bit unconventional, but I’m not really involved in the whole situation anyway.”

Shinohara said this without hesitation, then waited for my response.

“…That’s…”

I wracked my brain, trying to figure out the right response.

Maybe a thank you would suffice for her saying she’d “stick around.” Lately, I’ve found myself more grateful to her than ever.

It almost feels nostalgic, back when I’d try to stop her from coming over to my place.

“…Thanks for everything.”

“You’re welcome! But, Senpai, wrong answer,” Shinohara said, crossing her fingers over her mouth, the same way she did during that hot spring trip.

“What’s wrong with that?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m the kind of person who prefers actions over words.”

“Don’t have money for that.”

Shinohara frowned at my response.

“What do you think I am…? And besides, I have way more than you.”

“That last part’s painful to hear, could you stop? Hurts an older guy’s pride.”

Even as a student, I can’t help but feel frustrated that I’m no match for a younger girl. But with Shinohara’s side gig as a salon model, beating her earnings is impossible, at least while I’m still in school.

…Maybe she’s letting me escape into these thoughts on purpose. The heavy gloom in my mind is slowly clearing away.

“If you have that much pride, then make me dinner sometime!” she teased.

“Fine, watch me—I’ll make something that’ll blow you away!” I shot back, accepting her challenge with a grin.

But Shinohara’s smile froze, and she shook her head furiously.

“Wait…uh, that was a joke! Please don’t!”

“Do you think my cooking’s toxic or something? Sure, I mostly live on store-bought meals and convenience store bento, but still.”

“It’s not that—it’s just, I don’t want to consume calories if the food isn’t tasty.”

“Could you not hit me where it hurts?!”

It would’ve been better if she’d just joked about it being poisonous. After years of slacking off on cooking to conserve energy at home, my culinary credibility with her seems to be at rock bottom.

Just as I was about to say something else, I noticed the atmosphere around us becoming livelier. Glancing around, I saw a few students entering the lecture hall.

…It’s almost time for class.

“Senpai.”

“…Yeah?”

“I’m honestly glad you broke up with Reina.”

The mention of Reina caught me off guard, and I paused, thinking the topic had naturally faded away. Shinohara’s large eyes were fixed on me, watching my reaction.

“…And why’s that?” I asked.

“Oh, you’re actually asking?” She looked slightly bashful, covering her mouth with her hand.

“—Because you were trudging around, lonely and newly single, that’s why we met, Senpai.”

A memory flashed through my mind.

It was around Christmas. I’d accidentally bumped into Shinohara dressed up as Santa. Flyers scattered everywhere, and as an apology, I took her out for a meal. Until then, I’d only built relationships through the people I went to middle and high school with, in the same environments. But Shinohara was different. We only met because I was walking around that day, in that place, with that frame of mind.

“No matter how pathetic or ridiculous the actions that led you here, or even if you’re feeling down about it now…”

Shinohara winked at me suddenly.

“Meeting me!—That’s an amazing stroke of luck, so it’s all a big positive!”

I found myself gaping at her. Normally, I’d find a snarky comeback, but this time, I couldn’t help but feel that Shinohara might have a point. Or maybe I just wanted to believe she did.

“…Haha, you’re as confident as ever.”

“Oh, please, you’re making me blush with all the compliments.”

“I wasn’t complimenting you.”

“Aw, come on!”

As Shinohara pouted, I let a slight smile tug at my lips. Heading toward the lecture hall, I exhaled softly. Maybe I should take a page from that junior’s book.

She was right. There’s something else I should focus on right now. Reflection is essential, yes, but it’s for making sure I don’t repeat mistakes, for tomorrow’s sake.

Rather than dwelling gloomily on what’s already finished, what matters is looking forward to the future. After all, that’s why we decided on a fresh start.