I Was Cheated on by My Girlfriend but My Devilish Junior Now Yearns for Me - Chapter 87

Chapter 87   Self-Loathing

The freshman welcome season is nearing its end.

The cherry blossoms, once in full bloom, now have only a few petals left, gradually giving way to fresh green leaves.

The occasional chill in the air is starting to subside, and even the early mornings, just after sunrise, are relatively comfortable.

It’s just after six o’clock.

Yet here I was, heading back home from the nearest convenience store, holding a plastic bag.

When was the last time I started my day this early?

I’ve often stayed up this late, but waking up without any sleep till now is another thing entirely.

In my pajamas and sandals, I wouldn’t dare step outside at any busier time. This is a privilege reserved only for these early hours.

An elderly man walking his dog gave me a slight nod, so I bowed my head lightly in return.

Maybe exchanging nods with strangers just because we made eye contact is something unique to this time of day.

When I arrived home, I set the plastic bag down haphazardly at the entrance.

Inside were a few days’ worth of breakfast items.

Cheap options like pastries and rice balls, staples for students on a budget.

I picked up a single pastry and headed to my room. The room, with its curtains fully drawn, was still dim, but I went ahead and unwrapped the pastry anyway.

The reason I woke up early today was that I have a class with high attendance points from first period. Since the registration period is over, missing a class makes it much harder to pass.

To be on the safe side, I set my alarm at five-minute intervals starting from an hour before I needed to get up, yet today, I woke up on the first ring for some reason.

“…It’s cold.”

I muttered under my breath as I stuffed the pastry into my mouth.

Recently, warm meals have become my main diet, and I’ve drastically reduced my visits to the convenience store. Though healthier, I feel I’ve lost my simple enjoyment of pastries.

It’s a bit sad, but maybe that’s a luxury.

Thinking about this, I opened the curtains with the pastry in my mouth, hoping to fully wake myself up.

Glancing at my phone screen would surely finish the job.

Squinting at the dazzling morning sun, I checked my phone.

“You’re going to bed early tonight. Good night!”

A message from last night, sent just before midnight. Someone who knows how often I stay up late would send a message like that.

But the sender wasn’t Ayaka or Shinohara.

Displayed as the sender was the name “Reina.”

Opening the chat, I recalled last week’s events.

“Starting from scratch,” Reina had said.

It’s been a week since then, and we’ve been exchanging words on LINE every day. Not that we’re messaging constantly, just a few words here and there.

Still, there’s a calmness between us now, something I never could have imagined just a short while ago.

“Good morning. I’ve got first period today.”

After sending that, I pause for a moment.

Then I add, “Surprisingly, I woke up with just the first alarm today.”

Reina knows well how I tend to snooze through multiple alarms each morning. Oddly enough, I was almost never late for our dates, thanks to the alarms I set at regular intervals.

…Dates, huh.

We used to be like that. I glanced around, feeling the sudden urge for a cigarette, but my smoke-free home—cigarette-free for months now—didn’t even have an empty box in sight.

“…Damn.”

I muttered, maybe to myself.

The time I spent with Reina back then was undeniably happy. Just as she said when she accepted my confession, “I’ll make you happy.” And she did.

But I’m the one who shattered it.

This past week, every time a message from Reina arrived, there was a painful twinge in my chest.

I couldn’t see her expression through the screen. I could only wonder what she might be feeling as she typed.

But perhaps I don’t even have the right to be concerned about that.

The reason we’ve been able to restart our relationship, even in a limited way, is purely because of Reina’s generosity.

But there’s no going back now. We can’t just bring that time back and place it in the present.

Both of us understand that, and it’s the only reason we’re able to take this step forward.

It’s a strange relationship, different from the one I have with Ayaka or Shinohara.

But now, thinking about it—

If things had ended back then, I would’ve still felt this lingering ache, no matter how much time passed.

I know it’s selfish to think this way after being the one to walk away, only to feel this relief the moment we reconciled.

To the point that I can’t help but dislike myself a little for it.

…But—

I’m glad we got to start again.