I Was Cheated on by My Girlfriend but My Devilish Junior Now Yearns for Me - Chapter 78

Chapter 78   The Meaning of Tears 1

Even now, it crosses my mind unexpectedly.

── “Isn’t it obvious? Because I wanted to see you.”

Those were the words spoken by Reina Aisaka in the basement parking lot.

Over time, memories fade, but it feels like I could recall them clearly if I really wanted to—such a vivid event.

What good does it do me to remember that?

Even as I try to close the lid on that memory, the scenes still seep through.

Unconsciously, I find myself pondering the meaning behind her tears.

◇◆

The usual, everyday life.

Whether daily life feels enjoyable or dull largely depends on human relationships.

These days, you often hear people say that everyday life can fall apart unexpectedly, and I think that’s because university students place a lot of weight on ever-shifting relationships.

When someone who was part of your daily life is gone, the world turns monochrome.

When someone new arrives, it becomes vivid and colorful.

And once again, that mischievous junior who has become an indispensable part of my life is hanging around at my place.

After I told her about my past, she blinked at me in surprise.

──The past I mentioned was the incident with Reina Aisaka.

While I had already told her about being cheated on, this was the first time I’d explained the details.

Now, having had a conversation for a few minutes, I ignore Shinohara’s reaction.

“Well, that scene was undeniably real. It couldn’t have been just a misunderstanding.”

As I said that, Shinohara immediately responded, almost interrupting.

“…Senpai. No, before even getting to whether it was a misunderstanding or not, this is the first time I’m hearing about this cheating situation. Just what were you thinking—”

“Alright, that’s enough.”

“Hey, listen!”

Shinohara flailed her arms in protest.

There were a few times in the past when I could have told her about this.

Like that time after the “end-of-semester” drinks during the second semester of our second year, when we ended up lying on the same bed. Even then, I decided not to tell Shinohara, thinking it was all in the past.

I’ve always trusted her, but now that trust has deepened even further. That’s part of the reason I finally told her about my past.

“I thought that by telling you, Shinohara, I might get a bit of courage.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Shinohara tilted her head in response to my comment.

“But, based on what you just told me… you should understand how I felt when Yuudou-senpai cheated on me too, right? Didn’t it make you furious?”

“No, it wasn’t about being angry. I was just in despair.”

“You’ve got a weak… or rather, no, that’s probably the normal response.”

“We were on different levels when it came to how much we loved each other and how long we were together.”

“True… the way I just agreed so quickly, doesn’t that make me sound like a terrible woman?”

“It does.”

“Deny it, please!”

I couldn’t help but smile a little at Shinohara’s protest, and I raised the bottle by my side to my lips.

As I quenched my thirst, my thoughts drifted.

──There was one more thing on my mind.

It was about Natsuki’s recent behavior toward me.

The advice she’d given me after a lecture.

It felt less like she was saying it for my sake and more like it was for someone else.

…Natsuki is Reina’s friend.

Considering that, I think I figured out who that advice was really meant for.

It’s likely that Natsuki knows about my relationship with Reina.

I sensed it from the way she arranged for me and Reina to run into each other at the Valentine’s Day party, and from the cryptic things she said at Green’s welcome event.

In other words, Natsuki and Reina are closer than regular friends.

And then there was that line Natsuki threw at me during class when I’d forgotten my pen.

── “If you ask, I’ll lend it to you. But if you don’t ask, I won’t.”

The reason Natsuki pointed out something so obvious wasn’t simply because I’d forgotten my pen.

There must be some kind of misunderstanding between Reina and me, and perhaps Natsuki is aware of it.

…Considering all this, maybe I should rethink things one more time.

But I feel some resistance to diving back into that issue.

“Senpai, are you listening?”

“I still believe she cheated on me. But, as I said earlier, she… she cried.”

“You’re not listening at all…”

With a sigh, Shinohara replied.

“There are plenty of girls who cry even after cheating. Aren’t you overthinking this, Senpai?”

“Maybe, but I’m going.”

“Wow, it’s so like you that none of this is getting through.”

As Shinohara nodded repeatedly, I pondered.

She’s right; there are definitely plenty of people in the world like that.

Maybe it’s the influence of the dream I had last night—I don’t know.

But I was genuinely happy during that year. That’s why the collapse hit me so hard.

I want to confirm, just once more, that year we had.

If I leave things unresolved, I’ll probably keep making the same mistakes as an adult.

Facing the things you’d rather avoid—that’s how people grow. So this is something I need to do for myself.

As I stood up, I spoke one last time to Shinohara.

“The reason I finally told you about the cheating now, Shinohara, is because I trust you more than before. I think that if I tell someone I trust, it’ll give me confidence in what I’m about to do.”

“What?”

“Well, see you later.”

“Hey, wait a minute.”

Two seconds after I started walking, she grabbed me firmly by the collar and pulled me back with surprising strength.

“Are you a gorilla, maybe?”

“Thank you for choosing a mammal as the comparison.”

“That’s… not the point of that comment…”

As I responded in exasperation, Shinohara’s expression softened, and she replied with a smile.

“Hehe. No one would be unhappy to hear that their bond with someone has deepened. I really like that about you, Senpai. So, as long as you keep your comparisons to mammals, I’ll forgive you for anything!”

“Oh… is that so? That makes you happy?”

“Of course it does! Aren’t you happy when I say I like you, Senpai? You’re happy, right? Thank you very much.”

“Stop deciding that on your own!”

When I retorted, Shinohara burst out laughing.

But it’s true; it’s impossible not to feel happy when someone close to you expresses their affection. Hearing Shinohara say it so honestly made me feel happy, too.

On the other hand, negative things are better left unsaid.

There are plenty of situations that go more smoothly when certain feelings are kept hidden.

── If you don’t say it, how would they know?

Natsuki’s words replayed in my mind.

Was she criticizing me for walking away back then?

Did she mean to offer me advice, even though I refused to hear her out until the end?

I still feel like there’s no point in going back and asking now. But after sensing Natsuki’s intention, I know that avoiding action would just be running away.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, Senpai. But even if it turns out Reina-san was only holding her cousin’s hand, I’ll still be on your side.”

“…Why? If, by some far-fetched chance, that’s true, then I’d obviously be the bad guy here.”

The scene I witnessed back then wasn’t just a fleeting moment.

It lasted several seconds—an incredibly brief yet painfully long span of time, one I still remember well.

If there were some genuine, undeniable reason that explained everything, then maybe Natsuki would indeed have every right to criticize me.

…but there’s no point in thinking about that here.

When I stepped into the hallway, intending to head out again, Shinohara didn’t stop me this time.

Instead, a voice called out from behind me.

“Facing the past must take a lot of courage, don’t you think?”

“…Who knows? Maybe a time will come when you’ll need that kind of courage too, Shinohara.”

As I tied my shoelaces, I bit my lip.

I instantly regretted saying that. Here I am, avoiding things myself, yet speaking to my junior as if I’m above it all.

I feel deeply frustrated with myself for putting up such a shallow front without even realizing it.

──Suddenly, I felt a warm sensation on my back.

When I turned around, I saw the top of Shinohara’s head right in front of me.

Her hand was gently resting on my back, and I instinctively tensed up.

“I’ve been saved by the idea, Senpai, that ‘the past makes us who we are now.’ I like who I am now… and I want to like myself even more.”

“…So, you’ve had times like that too.”

Sometimes I’d sensed this from her words and actions before.

But it’s rare for Shinohara to talk openly about her past.

“You have this stance where you talk when you’re ready, right, Senpai? I’m… like that now too. So, I was genuinely happy when you shared what you did earlier. It made me feel like we’ve gotten closer.”

Trusting someone and opening up about the things inside you aren’t the same.

Even so, I want Shinohara to talk to me about it someday. And I think she probably feels the same way toward me.

That’s why she’s sharing her warmth with me now.

She’s letting me feel the warmth of trust directly.

“Take care, Senpai.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you later.”

Knowing that this junior is here, waiting for me, made my steps feel a bit lighter.

There are a few people I need to see.

The first one was already decided in my mind.