I Was Cheated on by My Girlfriend but My Devilish Junior Now Yearns for Me - Chapter 19

Chapter 19   A Phone Call with Ayaka

“…Was it wrong to ask?”

I stood in front of my phone, staring down at the screen. Ayaka’s icon was displayed on it, a photo likely taken with her circle of friends. In the picture, Ayaka had a radiant smile, but the tone of her voice seemed far removed from that expression.

“…No, it’s not that. It’s not wrong,” she finally responded.

It was rare for Ayaka to speak so haltingly. Was she shaken? Just from her breathing over the phone, I could sense her emotions to some extent. Ayaka understood me in the same way, and I could usually gauge her feelings as well. Even if I didn’t know much about Ayaka’s past, that wouldn’t change the years we’ve spent together.

Still, the fact that I didn’t know certain things about her left me feeling a little lonely. That’s why I’d asked the question in the first place, but now I shook my head.

Maybe she didn’t want me to know because we’re close. If she had kept it hidden all this time, that had to be the reason. Otherwise, there’s no way five years could go by without me hearing anything about her middle school days.

“Well, if you don’t want to talk about it—”

—You don’t have to.

That’s what I’d usually say. If someone doesn’t want to share, prying too much is just a nuisance. Plenty of people like to think that knowing something others don’t gives them some sort of special connection. They pry into secrets for the thrill of being trusted, for their own validation. But there’s a difference between those who ask out of self-serving curiosity and those who genuinely want to be trusted out of love or friendship.

Smart people can tell the difference. Ayaka was one of the smart ones.

Back in high school, guys often tried to ask her for advice, hoping to get closer to her. Ayaka would always detect their ulterior motives and brush them off with polite, neutral responses. I remember watching her idly play with her phone, looking bored, and thinking to myself: “Fake behavior won’t work on her. I need to be real.”

Backing off now didn’t feel right to me. I’d already decided to be honest with Ayaka, so pressing forward seemed like the best option.

“So, what if I don’t want to talk about it?” she challenged.

“Yeah. Even if you don’t want to, I want you to tell me,” I said directly.

“…You’re such an idiot,” she muttered.

Then, she fell silent. It wasn’t a heavy silence, though. It felt more like our usual dynamic. Sensing her acceptance in that quiet, I decided to keep speaking.

“I heard from Akemi. You and Akemi were in the same club, right? I haven’t heard much else.”

As soon as Akemi’s name came up, Ayaka let out a small sigh.

“Yeah, Akemi…”

“You seemed to get along well, though.”

“Just normal. We were just teammates.”

I wondered what Akemi would think of that. While they might have appeared friendly on the surface, it seemed Ayaka didn’t feel particularly close to her. Maybe Akemi felt the same way, but said they were close just because she met me.

“I’m not going to talk about it now, but if the opportunity comes, I will.”

“Hey, that sounds like something you won’t end up talking about.”

“I will talk about it.”

Her response was quick, leaving me momentarily speechless. Ayaka exhaled and spoke slowly.

“I’ll tell you, so just wait without saying anything.”

“…Got it.”

Her firm tone seemed to carry the intent to wrap this topic up. However, after asking Ayaka once, I no longer felt like I shouldn’t ask about her middle school days. Of course, I wouldn’t ask carelessly, but I believed her promise to tell me when the time was right. In that case, it was best to just wait.

I wasn’t in a rush. I felt satisfied just knowing that she promised to share things she hadn’t revealed before. We weren’t in a romantic relationship; we were just friends. If she responded with, “Why do you have to know?” it was exactly because of that vague relationship that I felt happy. Being promised something felt like it indicated we were closer than just ordinary friends.

The phone screen flickered, alerting me that the battery was running low. Ayaka also seemed to lose the mood for casual chit-chat, as I heard some rustling sounds in the background.

“Why did you suddenly decide to ask?”

As she seemed to be tidying up, the question came my way.

“Because I was curious, obviously.”

“…I see. Good. I was worried you might say something like it was for my sake.”

“I wouldn’t say that. I know you don’t like that kind of talk, and I’ll only speak my mind from now on.”

I was sure there were plenty of girls who liked those kind of insincere words, but they were likely limited to words from close friends. Ayaka didn’t fit that category.

Consideration is important. However, if it doesn’t come from the heart, it doesn’t mean anything to Ayaka. The irony is that she often engages in fake care and insincere gestures herself. While I sometimes felt the urge to criticize her for putting others on a pedestal, I found myself agreeing more with her viewpoint. Perhaps because she acts insincerely, she wants those close to her to be genuine.

“I like that side of you.”

“…Oh.”

Her straightforward words caught me off guard. Perhaps curious about my reaction, Ayaka quickly corrected herself.

“Ah, I mean as a person. I think you understand that, right?”

“I get it, so stop saying it. It actually annoys me. Besides, with you talking like that, no wonder guys confess to you.”

When a friend of the opposite sex says something like that, it’s hard not to be somewhat conscious of it, even if you understand it. The guys who have liked Ayaka in the past must have fallen for such straightforward words.

“I only say this to you.”

“Huh?”

“I’m not the kind of person who goes around saying this to everyone.”

…True, I didn’t think Ayaka, who usually turns down confessions, would intentionally try to lead someone on.

“Then why did you say it to me?”

“…I don’t know. Just a mood, I guess.”

After a short response, Ayaka changed the subject.

I thought she might have gotten a bit embarrassed, but I decided not to say anything.

“By the way, you haven’t forgotten about the drinking party tomorrow, have you?”

“Yeah, the post-test celebration, right? I haven’t forgotten.”

It was the drinking party she invited me to after the tests. Given what happened with Reina, I wanted to lighten my mood, so I was unusually looking forward to it.

“Just so you know, I don’t know anyone else besides you. I’ll be fine once I get a bit tipsy, but until then, stick with me.”

Although I’m attending the drinking party, I’m technically an outsider. I felt awkward joining the table while still sober.

However, Ayaka said, “You don’t need to.”

“I know people there. The girls who came to the Christmas mixer are all in my circle. Since we’re there, you should talk to them.”

The Christmas mixer. Ayaka had set it up for both girls and boys. It ended up being unforgettable because of the commotion caused by Shinohara and Motosaka when they showed up halfway through.

“Really? We only had dinner, so I wonder if they remember me.”

“The girl who talked about manga was really happy to hear you were coming.”

It must be about the only girl I exchanged contact information with. Since then, we hadn’t really communicated or met up, but hearing that made me happy.

“Christmas wasn’t all bad after all.”

“It was a failure for me as the organizer, so it wasn’t a great memory. But honestly, if a guy got to know four cute girls and complained about Christmas, it would be chaos.”

“Four?”

There should have been four girls at the Christmas mixer, including Ayaka. I pondered who the fourth one could be when Ayaka, sounding exasperated, asked, “Did you forget?”

“You bumped into Santa, right?”

“Oh, right.”

I hadn’t expected Ayaka to mention Shinohara, and it completely slipped my mind.

It was true that I had met Shinohara during the Christmas season.

After breaking up with Reina, I had been walking under the illumination, feeling empty and alone during Christmas.

But now, looking back, I realized I had formed new connections that I wouldn’t have made if I had been with a girlfriend.

It was precisely because I was alone at that time that I had the relationships I do now.

Thinking about it this way, I felt an unexpected warmth in my heart.

“I wish Christmas would come around again.”

I couldn’t help but say it aloud, and Ayaka chuckled softly.

“I’m glad you’ve moved on.”

…Maybe the Christmas mixer was also something she organized with me in mind.

That thought crossed my mind, but I decided not to ask.

I didn’t know if Ayaka was aware of it, but I was grateful nonetheless.

I pondered whether I should give her a gift as thanks.

I had never given Ayaka a present, but she had given me a key case.

As a return gift, she would surely be happy to receive something from me.

Lost in thought about that, Ayaka suddenly exclaimed with excitement.

“Look outside!”

Following her instruction, I glanced out the window.

Outside, soft powdery snow was dancing gently through the air.

Snow that hadn’t fallen even on Christmas was now blanketing the city.

It had been quite a while since I had seen snow.

When I opened the window, dry, cold air rushed in, and the powdery snow swirled inside.

“I wish we had some more illumination.”

“I know!”

Leaning out from the second-floor window of the one-room apartment, I gazed at the snow illuminated by the streetlights.

I could hear Ayaka opening her window through the phone.

“It’s so cold!”

Seeing Ayaka’s innocent excitement made me smile involuntarily.

“It really is cold.”

As I spoke, my breath rose into the night sky in a white puff.

I hoped the next Christmas would come soon.

Feeling the relentless cold wind against my skin, that was my thought.