I Tried Pulling When Pushing My Childhood Friend Didn’t Work, and It Totally Broke Me Inside - Chapter 1.5

I’m Shiraishi Yuna, and I have a childhood friend named Akikawa Daisuke.

We’ve been together since we were little, and our families are close because we live next door to each other.

I’ve always had a hard time showing my feelings on my face. That sometimes caused problems, but Daisuke would help me every time.

It was in middle school that Daisuke confessed to me for the first time.

To me, he’s a very important friend, but when it comes to liking him in that way… I wasn’t sure.

So I said, “No.”

I still remember the look on his face when I said that.

He looked really hurt.

That’s why I said, “I’m going home.”

I don’t really know why I said that… I just felt like I didn’t want us to drift apart.

Even after that, Daisuke confessed to me a lot, not every day, but often enough.

And every time, I said, “No.”

Even now, in our second year of high school, he hasn’t given up.

“Yuna, I like you! Please go out with me!”

And today, he confessed again.

“No.”

“…”

“I’ll go home if you’re done.”

“Yes… But why do you seriously walk to and from school with someone you already rejected?”

Daisuke asked.

I don’t dislike him. Being with him makes me feel safe.

Daisuke went quiet and looked serious.

Was he really that hurt from being rejected?

“Daisuke?”

I leaned in slightly to look at him.

“N-no, I-I’m really fine.”

His face turned a little red.

“I’m going home. I’ll come by your room later today.”

“That’s fine, but you still won’t go out with me?”

“Yeah, I won’t.”

“Why? Do you dislike me?”

“Not really…”

I don’t hate him.

In fact…

“Oh, shoot. The teacher called me today. I’m sorry, but you go home first.”

“Okay.”

“If you want to come to my room, that’s fine too.”

“Yeah.”

“Then, see you later.”

I left Daisuke behind and headed home.

☆

After leaving school, I walked for a little while when I heard someone call my name.

“Yuna.”

“Oh, Mom.”

I ran into my mom. It was unusual to see her here.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m on my way to my part-time job.”

“I see.”

“By the way, isn’t Daisuke-kun with you today?”

“He said he had something to do and went to the teacher’s office. Oh, and he confessed again today.”

“And you said no again?”

“Yeah.”

“Geez, poor Daisuke-kun. He keeps getting rejected. If you keep doing this, he might give up on you. Are you okay with him liking someone else someday?”

“Huh?”

The moment she said that, my chest felt heavy.

It was a feeling I had never had before.

“Th-That’s, but Daisuke…”

“Well, don’t regret it later.”

Mom walked away.

“It’s okay, right? Daisuke likes me, so it’s fine.”

☆

I arrived at Daisuke’s house.

Ding-dong.

“Yes.”

Daisuke’s mom opened the door.

“Yuna-chan, welcome, Daisuke is…”

“He said he went to the teacher’s office and will come back later. He told me to go to his room first.”

“I see. Come on in.”

“Thank you.”

I went into Daisuke’s room and flopped onto his bed.

The familiar and comforting smell…

I like Daisuke’s smell.

I like how kind he is.

I like how he always helps me.

There are so many other things I like about him, too.

Wait…?

I like Daisuke.

Next time he confesses, I’ll say yes.

No, maybe I should tell him first?

Then Mom’s words from earlier came back to me.

“If you keep doing this, he might give up on you. Are you okay with him liking someone else someday?”

It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.

Daisuke likes me…

That’s right, Daisuke…

☆

Daisuke came back home. I tried to calm myself by reading a manga, but it didn’t help at all.

“Welcome back.”

“Thank you.”

“Hey, did something happen?”

He seemed off somehow.

Did something happen?

“No, nothing.”

“I see…”

Why is he hiding it?

Why can’t he tell me?

Why?

“If you keep doing this, he might give up on you. Are you okay with him liking someone else someday?”

Mom’s words came back to me.

It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.

Daisuke likes me…

“Daisuke.”

“Hm?”

“I want a cola.”

“Yes, yes.”

I didn’t really need the cola.

I just wanted to talk to Daisuke.