I Run the Protagonist’s Favorite Café in a Hopelessly Depressing Game World - V1 Chapter 9

The Hidden Laboratory

I decided to close the café for the day for the first time in a while.

It’s basically just a hobby, and customers don’t come anyway, so there’s no real problem.

I thought I’d go for a walk around the capital and soak up some sunlight.

That’s why I made today a day off.

I stroll along the cobblestone streets, enjoying the walk.

Technically they could have paved everything with asphalt, but for scenic reasons the capital’s roads have used the same material for thousands of years.

Once you step a little outside the area, though, it suddenly gets very modern.

“Still as mismatched as ever.”

I walk along the street and look at the buildings.

The townscape is refined, but I can’t shake the feeling that it’s all a bit off.

You’ll see a three-story stone house and right next to it a single-story wooden one. If you only cared about efficiency it would make no sense at all, and if culture had developed naturally this kind of mix would never happen.

It’s because this country is a “united kingdom.”

The Astraedia United Kingdom, just like the name says, was born when three countries came together at the time the barrier was put up.

The three cultures coexist and sometimes create scenes that can only be called messy.

For people born and raised here it’s probably normal, but for me with knowledge from another world it’s pretty interesting.

Even though it’s a country I’ve lived in for a long time and scenes I should be used to, when I look around with the clear purpose of “taking a walk,” it feels different from usual.

Then again, maybe it’s because I usually stay shut up in the back alleys and never go out.

Online shopping covers everything I need.

Honestly, there’s no reason for me to leave the shop.

That’s the classic shut-in line.

“Hey, store owner. It’s rare to see you around here.”

While I was wandering without any destination, someone called out from a street stall.

When I look, a well-built man with tanned skin waves at me. He’s the customer who came by with a congratulatory gift when I first opened the café.

Because this world is divided by the barrier, land is limited and prices shoot up easily. So only a handful of people can open shops, and that tends to create strong connections between them.

When a new shop opens nearby, it’s basically understood that you visit at least once.

…Well, since my café is dead quiet, I can imagine how things went after that.

I walk over to him.

“Staring at the walls in the back alley every day is bad for my mental health.”

“True. Even I get sick of it sometimes, and my shop is right on a busy street. That… spot of yours with terrible sunlight must be even worse.”

The man chooses his words very carefully.

Terrible sunlight, huh.

He wrapped it in so many layers it sounds like he double-wrapped it in tissue paper.

I smile bitterly and scratch my cheek.

“There are more rats than people there, after all.”

“With restaurants, image actually matters more than taste. Cleanliness. No matter how good the food is, just being in a back alley is already a minus.”

“Yeah… but if I tried to set up on the main street, the rent would be insane.”

“I’m not saying you have to buy the land outright. You can just rent a space like I did.”

Only a handful of people can open shops, but the ones who actually own the land are an even smaller handful. Most people rent from landlords like he does.

It’s true that I earned a lot during my witch days.

I probably could have rented a prime location for a few hundred years.

But I had no intention of standing out on purpose.

That’s why I deliberately bought land in the back alley.

“I’m not really good with crowded places.”

“Oh? That’s not the best personality for running a shop.”

“Haha… I’m aware.”

While smiling bitterly, I casually check my watch so it doesn’t look obvious.

“Sorry, I have to get going.”

“Sorry for holding you up. Here, a little something as an apology. Take it.”

“Whoa… thanks.”

The man tosses something over and I catch it against my chest. It turns out to be a carrot.

…A carrot? Isn’t the usual thing an apple in these situations?

Well, apples are easy to eat while walking and they’re a popular item. His stock looked low too, so a carrot was probably more practical as a thank-you for the chat. That must be it.

Street vendors have it rough, I think as I go back to my walk.

I wander aimlessly, cross a bridge, slip into the sewers, climb some stairs.

I even step into cleverly hidden passages that are tucked away from sight.

Crawling under spider webs on the way down.

Before I know it, I’ve gone from the old cobblestone world into a space that looks like a cutting-edge laboratory. Everything is wrapped in an almost sickening white. Is this some kind of out-of-body experience?

“Uh…”

I let out a confused breath without meaning to.

I look around.

It really does look like a research lab.

Epoxy resin floors, cold fluorescent lights.

Every step I take echoes off the walls.

I arrived here almost like something was guiding me.

When I calm down and think about it, my actions today seem way too strange.

I almost never leave the café, yet today I suddenly decide to go for a walk. I deliberately take roads I would normally never go near.

Just like a snail infected with Leucochloridium, moving to places it would normally hate so it gets eaten easier.

I remember suspecting before that someone might have mentally manipulated me.

If I’m being brainwashed or something, it would explain why my behavior feels so off.

“…Only realizing how weird I am when I reach a fatal situation.”

That might be how terrifying brainwashing is.

An abnormality you can never notice yourself.

At least having some self-awareness might mean I’m only a mild case.

I lower my center of gravity slightly and adjust my stance so I can respond no matter who attacks.

I breathe out completely, refresh the air in my lungs, and switch my brain to combat mode.

Stay alert. The enemy deliberately led me here. Even if I’m sitting on the throne of the world’s strongest, I could still get tripped up. Always watch for traps.

I’ve seen plenty of witches die because they got cocky. Don’t follow in their footsteps. I’ve survived until today precisely because I’ve avoided both visible and invisible dangers.

“……”

One second, two seconds, three seconds.

I stay silent and observe the situation.

Five whole minutes pass like that.

“No change.”

Are they trying to make me drop my guard by waiting?

Or was my assumption wrong from the start?

Maybe there was no enemy at all and my strange actions were just coincidence?

Then reaching this lab was pure chance too?

“No way that’s possible.”

I shake my head and reject the idea.

The odds are way too low.

Probability-wise a human passing through a wall isn’t impossible, but in reality we’d laugh it off as nonsense. The world isn’t a thought experiment. Pure theory doesn’t become real. Wandering around aimlessly and stumbling into a hidden laboratory? If that were allowed, the world would be full of people who struck gold by accident.

I decide to move.

It’s fine to stay ready for an attack that might come.

But staying in the same spot forever is actually more dangerous.

“……”

Tap, tap.

My footsteps echo coldly.

It really does look like a research lab.

It’s so perfectly “lab-like” that it feels artificial.

“And… it feels familiar somehow.”

Something tugs at the bottom of my memory.

Or at least it feels that way. Maybe I’m imagining it.

But the further I walk, the stronger the déjà vu gets.

After walking down a straight corridor for a few hundred meters, a corner finally appears.

At the same time I sense magic power.

It’s around the corner.

Finally showed up. The enemy.

I press my back to the wall and carefully peek around the corner so I won’t be noticed.

“…Shikiko?”

On the other side of the wall is Shikiko Komuta. The one talking to her is probably Tamaki Omuta.

Why are they here—right as that doubt hits me, a jolt runs through my brain.

I remember now. The research lab. The hidden passage. Of course it feels familiar. This is the background I saw so many times in the game. It’s basically the protagonist’s home.

Well, it doesn’t have any of the warmth that usually comes with a “home,” though.

For Shikiko Komuta, this place is nothing more than the place she was born.

So this is that lab.

I lower my guard a little.

If my memory of the description is right, there shouldn’t be any traps.

It’s hidden precisely because it has no way to repel intruders.

Even so, I don’t let my guard down completely.

In the dungeon, the ones who let their guard down die first. That saying doesn’t only apply to special environments. In this hopeless world, it’s true everywhere.

Life is too cheap in the world I live in.

“……”

If those two are here, Sophia who took them back should be here too. I want to avoid running into her. I have no idea what variables might appear.

I hold my breath.

I hold my breath and observe the other side of the wall.

“Peeping is your hobby?”

“…You surprised me. I’m sensitive to presence, but…”

“Presence is a vague thing. It refers to sounds, smells, heat—things that can’t be put into words. If you block all of those, even the most skilled hunter won’t notice.”

Something cold is pressed against the back of my neck.

I move only my eyes to check. It’s a blade.

On top of that, something is jabbed into my back.

From the shape and hardness, it’s probably a pistol or something.

“And I’m the one who’s surprised. This is a sanctuary no one should be able to find. This research lab was built to be exactly that. To think a man who’s not even a witch discovered it.”

“I was just out for a walk and happened to end up here.”

“You’re a bad liar. Are you not afraid of death?”

Sophia snorts mockingly.

She adjusts the position of the gun with a shift.

“If you think ‘this woman wouldn’t attack a human,’ then I’m sorry to disappoint you. I won’t hesitate at all to pull the trigger. I left all mercy behind in the dungeon.”

She’s probably right.

She would definitely do it.

Especially Sophia, who lost nearly all human emotions as the price for magic.

I quietly raise both hands.

A white flag. Declaration of surrender.

Of course, if I were the world’s strongest witch Aoi Komeiji, I could subdue her without any problem even with a gun pressed against me at point-blank range. I wouldn’t shed a single drop of blood. This situation isn’t a crisis for me at all. Once I know who the enemy is, it’s not scary.

But… if I resist poorly, I can’t predict how things will turn out.

If she orders Shikiko and the others to “kill that man” or something, it would get really annoying.

If the protagonist dies, this world can’t avoid destruction.

It won’t reach a happy end.

So I obediently follow Sophia’s instructions, put my hands behind my head, and move with the gun still pressed against my back.

Our destination is either hell or the guillotine.

Either way, I doubt she’ll offer me any tea.