I Run the Protagonist’s Favorite Café in a Hopelessly Depressing Game World - V1 Chapter 5

Thank You

“Thank you so much for saving one of my students.”

“I only did what anyone would have.”

“If I had been alone, I wouldn’t have been able to save Tamaki. I’m a failure as a teacher. I lecture them that you must never let your guard down in a dungeon, yet I couldn’t even follow my own advice.”

The teacher gave a self-mocking laugh.

But—I hadn’t missed it. In the instant the monster’s attack flew toward Tamaki, I saw the teacher draw the staff at her waist and start gathering magic power.

She hadn’t hesitated to use magic. She was a model teacher.

Even if I hadn’t been there, she probably would have managed to save her somehow.

Whether they could have gotten through it completely unharmed… that was harder to say.

“Still, you really are the strongest witch in the world. Taking down that monster in a single instant.”

“Tamaki had already worn it down first. I just delivered the finishing blow.”

“Even so. Monsters are incredibly stubborn.”

That was true. Monsters were stubbornly tough to a frustrating degree.

Battles that dragged on for over an hour were common.

Their vitality was so strong it almost felt eerie.

It was enough to make you feel resistance at even calling them “living things.”

“…Hm?”

Right then the teacher tilted her head.

Something seemed to have caught in her mind—

That kind of look.

“Something wrong?”

“No, it’s just… you two are supposed to be meeting for the first time, yet you called Tamaki by her first name so casually. …Sorry. That was rude of me.”

My heart skipped a beat.

She was pretty sharp.

Maybe I should be more wary of the teacher than the monsters.

If the true identity of the strongest witch in the world (lol) got exposed as a guy…

Just thinking about it made me shiver.

Cold sweat ran down my back while I gave a half-baked excuse—“I make it a point to show respect to brave witches”—that may or may not have worked, and somehow got through the immediate crisis.

Thank goodness the teacher wasn’t the suspicious type.

Otherwise I would’ve been looking at a horror scenario where the café owner turned out to be a stalker.

So this was the fate of a witch who once had all the fame in the world—Was this what a bad end looked like?

After chatting with the teacher for a few more minutes, the witches who had been shaken up by the monster encounter finally calmed down, and the dungeon exploration resumed.

I was about to slip away again and hide when the teacher called out.

“Um… Komeiji.”

“Yeah?”

“This might be a bold request, but… would you be willing to accompany us?”

“You want me as an escort?”

“Yes. I used to fight as a witch myself, but after my right arm was taken, I started working as a teacher at the academy.”

She lowered her gaze to her own right arm.

No. Not to her right arm.

From the shoulder down, there was nothing where the arm should have been—only an empty sleeve hanging there.

She had lost the arm as the price for using magic. No wonder she retired from being a witch.

“I was told that even I could lead the group on the first floor of the dungeon since strong monsters are kept out by the barrier.”

“But just a little while ago a fairly tough monster showed up.”

“Exactly. You really can’t measure a dungeon by common sense or usual rules.”

The teacher gave a bitter smile.

Then she changed her expression.

──And bent at the waist almost at a perfect right angle.

“I don’t have the confidence to protect the students by myself. But if we run away now, the trauma planted by that monster will take root and grow deep. Once a witch reaches that point, she’s finished. She can’t fight anymore. Before the memory of that fear stays too vivid, they need the success experience of killing a monster with their own hands. Please, Komeiji. If the strongest witch in the world is with us, I think the students will feel much safer.”

I rested a hand on my chin.

This proposal was perfect timing. I had come all the way to the dungeon specifically to prevent Tamaki Omuta’s death. If I could guard her up close, the chances would be much higher.

“Of course this would be an official request, so the academy would pay you a proper reward.”

“I’m not interested in the reward… but I’ll accept.”

“──! Really?!”

Thank you so much!!

She said it in a loud, clear voice and gave a beautiful bow.

There were quite a few witches who held high pride from an elitist point of view, but she didn’t seem to hesitate at all about lowering her head. Or maybe she thought “if it’s for the students, my own pride is nothing.” Either way, she really was a model teacher.

I had only been thanked straight to my face a handful of times in my life, so it felt awkward. I scratched my cheek and looked away to hide how uncomfortable I was.

“I won’t step in unless it’s a life-threatening situation. …That work for you?”

“Yes. This isn’t a sightseeing tour of the dungeon—it’s combat training, after all. As long as their heart and brain are still working, they can manage somehow.”

What a really stoic education policy.

Well, if they didn’t go that far, they probably couldn’t fulfill the role of risking their lives to kill monsters.

I stuck my hands in my pockets and fell in at the very back of the witches’ formation.

◇

The dungeon had floors.

The tower that pierced straight through the barrier was structurally like a giant straw.

By dividing it into floors, it functioned like valves in blood vessels to stop monsters from coming in through the hole in the barrier.

In other words, from the surface the dungeon spread both upward and downward.

This time it looked like we were heading underground.

I asked why, but apparently there was no special reason.

The strength of the monsters didn’t really change anyway.

There were some differences in the monsters’ traits, but for a shallow exploration it didn’t matter.

“──Assist! Please!”

“Roger that! Die, enemy of humanity!!”

The explosive roar echoed off the rock walls and the smell of gunpowder drifted through the air.

The monster that took countless bullets from every direction collapsed weakly to the ground.

Of course the witches didn’t let their guard down for a second.

They approached the corpse with machetes ready and chopped off its head without hesitation.

When they first encountered a monster they couldn’t even defend against the mental contamination from its magic power and had lost their minds, but once they gained confidence that they could “kill it themselves,” they started racking up kill counts with that kind of polished teamwork. Maybe having me behind them helped too, but either way it was definitely a good trend.

The teacher smiled brightly, humming a little as she raised one finger.

“Let’s review what we learned in class. Monsters are basically humanoid. Since they at least have a human shape, cutting off the head or crushing the skull will usually stop them from moving. But there’s one thing to watch out for here. Tamaki Omuta? What is it?”

“…Just because they have a human shape doesn’t mean they are human. Even if you cut off the head or crush the skull, there’s still a chance they can keep moving. Never let your guard down even if they stop moving.”

“Correct. That’s a very important way of thinking if you want to survive as a witch. Monsters are cunning. You should even suspect that their whole purpose is to trap humans.”

The teacher’s voice carried real weight.

She hated monsters from the bottom of her heart.

The kind of hatred that made anyone listening absolutely sure of it.

Most people who had lived long as witches showed that kind of attitude.

They had companions killed, or were cornered and forced to use magic.

There wasn’t a single witch who felt anything soft toward monsters.

I’d heard there were apparently some religions out there that claimed “monsters are trials sent by God” and criticized the witches who killed them.

If someone said that straight to a witch’s face, even if the other person was human, there’d be no guarantee they’d keep their life.

“Hmm.”

I watched their lesson scene and felt impressed.

I folded my arms and nodded, thinking “I see, I see.”

For a normal witch, graduating from the academy was the first time they were recognized as a proper witch, but since I was a guy I couldn’t even enroll, let alone graduate.

That’s why watching a scene like this felt purely interesting.

It was probably like the feeling a parent gets watching their child grow up.

The kids who had been teary-eyed and scared of monsters just a while ago were now standing tall, holding their guns properly and firing in coordinated bursts.

Yeah, it really hit me in the chest.

“Becoming a teacher at the academy might be fun.”

With the name value of the strongest witch in the world, I’d probably pass.

But I was a guy, so it would still be hard. There was a limit to how long I could keep wearing the mask too.

Besides, I was the owner of a café, so it wouldn’t be right to abandon my own shop and play school.

I was sighing, thinking it really was impossible, when Tamaki, who had just finished a fight, walked over with quick little steps and spoke to me with a very tense expression.

“K-Komeiji.”

“What’s up?”

“How was… um… my fighting…?”

It was the first time Tamaki had called me “Komeiji” or used such polite language, so it felt weirdly itchy, like my skin was turning inside out.

I hadn’t even told her my real name, so there was no reason for her to call me by my last name.

Normally everyone just called me “boss.”

The Tamaki in front of me looked nothing like her usual self—she was standing there looking terribly embarrassed, pressing her fingers together in front of her chest.

“Your first fight—against the monster that looked like a Buddha statue—seemed a bit rough.”

“Ugh…”

“But it got more polished with every battle after that. I can feel the talent. If you use magic once or twice, you’ll become quite a capable witch overall. …Well, I don’t really recommend using magic just to get stronger.”

You never knew what you’d lose as the price.

If your eyesight or your legs got taken, it wouldn’t be a matter of getting stronger anymore.

The boost to physical ability was only a side effect of magic, and you shouldn’t make that the main goal.

“Thank you so much!”

Tamaki gave a quick bow with a pat and pat-patted back to her original spot.

Her movements were really childish. Which made sense for her age.

I shrugged my shoulders and snorted.

At this rate, it didn’t look like she’d end up in a situation where she lost her life.

Of course I couldn’t get complacent.

I still needed to stay on full alert at all times just in case.

“Alright.”

I slapped my cheeks to psych myself up again.

If Tamaki Omuta died, the story would head straight for a bad end.

That would mean the end of the world. Or the extinction of humanity.

Either way, it was a future that had to be avoided.

──And so, with all that going on, the lesson inside the dungeon gradually came to a close.