I Run the Protagonist’s Favorite Café in a Hopelessly Depressing Game World - V1 Chapter 1.1

I Got the World Completely Wrong

To cut straight to the point, I had the whole world setting wrong.

“…?”

I stared at the girl tilting her head right in front of me.

She had translucent white hair and skin that reminded me of fine porcelain. Even though she still looked young, her face already promised she’d grow into a real beauty. Walk down the street with her and guys would definitely call out—no question.

I recognized her.

“Wh-what’s wrong, Aoi?”

“Nah… it’s nothing.”

I waved my hand like it was no big deal and looked up at the ceiling to escape reality for a second.

Jagged rock walls. A lamp hanging there. In a cave with barely any fresh air, using a lamp would normally make you worry about oxygen, but the one glowing blue ran on magic stones, so no real problem.

“Haa…”

I touched the edge of my mask with my fingertips and let out a quiet sigh.

The girl standing in front of me—I’d just saved her from a pack of monsters a little while ago. Her name was… Asuka Minegishi, I think.

That striking white appearance and that name.

…Yeah.

──She’s totally the final boss from Witch or, isn’t she!!

I felt like screaming inside.

If nobody was watching, I would’ve been stomping my feet on the ground for sure.

That’s how shocked I was.

“U-um… is something wrong after all? Did I do something…?”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just not feeling great. It’s not your fault.”

Asuka started fidgeting, looking all flustered.

The final boss of Witch or, Asuka Minegishi, had a setting where her magic would go berserk if her emotions ran too high. So I did my best to calm her down.

I had zero plans of dying a stupid death in a place like this. Even if I died, I wouldn’t be able to rest in peace.

Well, this was my second life, so maybe I didn’t have the right to complain.

──That’s right.

I, Aoi Komeiji, am a reincarnated person.

A reincarnated guy who had the entire world setting wrong until just now.

I’ll skip the boring stuff like how I died in my previous life or what kind of person I was. In this world, magic exists, just like in any fantasy story.

But I couldn’t exactly celebrate. Magic could only be used by women, and every single time you cast it, you had to pay a crazy heavy price.

The costs came in all kinds.

Some were simple—stuff like going blind or losing your memories, damage to yourself.

Others affected the people around you—family or close friends dying, that kind of thing.

It was basically a curse pretending to be magic. Totally messed up.

When I reincarnated into a world like this, for some reason I could still use magic even though I was a guy.

Of course I was scared of the cost, so I’d only used it a handful of times.

And then, even though I was a man, I became a magic user and started thinking I must be the protagonist.

Can’t blame me, right? Something nobody else could do—I could do it. Only me.

Plus I had the whole reincarnated thing going for me.

When you added all that up, it was only natural I’d see myself as the center of the world.

I went on and on, but basically it was just a dumb guy’s dumb misunderstanding.

Still, luckily—or maybe unluckily—I actually had talent.

I dove into dungeons full of monsters, mowed them down left and right, and before I knew it people were calling me the strongest witch in the world.

That’s right.

A witch.

Even though the rule was only women could use magic, here I was, a guy, openly casting spells. If anyone found out, I’d definitely get treated like a lab rat or worse.

So I hid my gender and went into dungeons wearing a mask that covered my face and changed my voice.

──But that ends here…

I thought this world was some convenient afterlife made just for me.

I was wrong.

I’d figured out it was the world of Witch or, that game famous for being super depressing.

No time to walk around with a stupid grin calling myself a witch.

“…?”

Asuka Minegishi was still tilting her head in front of me.

She was the future final boss. If I got on her bad side, even I might end up dead.

And in Witch or there were tons of characters who could kill me.

In short, if I acted cocky, I was heading straight for a death ending.

It was so terrifying I could barely breathe.

So I made a decision.

No hesitation.

Right after deciding, I turned to the party members surrounding me and declared in a clear voice,

“I’m retiring.”

“Huh?”

◇

I tossed aside the magazine with flashy text screaming something like ‘The Strongest Witch in the World, Aoi Komeiji, Under Threat!’

I’d thrown it toward the desk, and it apparently landed safely.

A dry “patan” echoed through the shop.

“Hey boss, don’t throw stuff.”

“Sorry, sorry. Slipped.”

“Seriously, that bad habit of yours…”

The girl in the apron sighed.

Her hair was black as if the darkness itself had melted into it—Shikiko Komuta picked up the magazine and frowned.

“It’s about Aoi Komeiji, isn’t it? The strongest witch has a lot of fans, you know. Treating a magazine with her story like that is gonna bring bad luck.”

“Fans?”

“You didn’t know? She suddenly retired a few years ago, but her skills were real, so she still has a strong following.”

Plus she took down so many world-destroying monsters. A lot of people saw her as a savior, or at least a hero.

Shikiko flipped through the pages while she talked.

“Hmm.”

I gave a vague reply.

I’d been treating my witch days like a dark past and tried to avoid the topic, so I had no idea things had gotten like this. I wished people would just forget already.

They say rumors only last seventy-five days, after all.

“Boss, there are no customers right now. Can I read this magazine?”

“Go ahead.”

“Yay!”

With a relaxed voice, Shikiko plopped down in a customer chair.

She rested her cheek on the table, eyes glued to the magazine. Hard to believe she was actually working here as a part-timer.

Well, I was the one who allowed it.

No one to serve anyway, so whatever.

“Man, it’s quiet…”

I looked around the shop.

I’d put a lot of effort into the interior, so the atmosphere was nice.

But the location was fatally bad.

A back alley off an already narrow street.

Once you put a shop there, no matter how good the coffee or the vibe, hardly anyone would come. Business was never going to boom.

After retiring as a witch I’d just opened this café as a hobby, so not being busy was actually fine.

The boredom was the only downside—back when I was diving into dungeons I never had time to relax.

These days I just spent my time wrapped in the smell of coffee, zoning out.