I Risked My Life To Save The Cheeky Girl, And As A Result, I Lost My Right Arm. - Chapter 8.2: The Lamentation of Hypocrites. (Part 2)

The Lamentation of Hypocrites. (Part 2)

It was clear, even from a distance, that Nakamura-kun was deeply troubled.

He stood motionless, broom in hand, as if frozen in place, staring silently into the void.

(Nakamura-kun…)

This wasn’t the kind of frustration that came from struggling with cleaning or finding it tedious. No, this was something far more serious.

I didn’t know what had happened, but it must have been significant.

Leaving him like this wasn’t an option. I slowly approached him and softly called out.

“Oh, ah… Kurasaki-san…”

“Did something happen? You look like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

“N-no, it’s nothing.”

“Really? You’re not forcing yourself, are you?”

“I’m not. Really.”

His smile as he said this was anything but convincing. It was a strained expression, one worn to keep me from worrying.

“If you want, I’m here to listen,” I offered gently.

“It’s fine. Really, there’s nothing to talk about.”

He scratched behind his left ear as he spoke, his tone firm.

This is difficult… If he insists there’s nothing wrong, I can’t push him further. But there’s no doubt something’s eating away at him.

***

Ding-dong, ding-dong

The bell signaling the end of the cleaning period rang.

I sighed internally. For now, it seemed I had no choice but to step back.

“Maybe I was overthinking things. Sorry if I pried too much.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m sorry for making you worry over nothing.”

“Let me put your broom away for you. Can I take it?”

“No, I’ll do it myself.”

With that, Nakamura-kun turned his back to me and walked toward the cleaning supply cabinet.

He seemed distant, almost cold.

(Did I go too far? Maybe my questions annoyed him.)

Perhaps my concern for him had made me overstep. That wasn’t good—getting ahead of myself like this wasn’t helpful.

If I wanted to support Nakamura-kun, I needed to approach things more carefully, to truly consider his feelings and circumstances.

(I promised to be there for him, so I have to do better.)

Clenching my right fist tightly, I whispered to myself, “You’ve got this, Momoka.”

Homeroom ended, and the school day was officially over.

Along with the other students, I made my way to the shoe lockers, switching my indoor shoes for my outdoor ones.

Zaaa…

The rain, which hadn’t been there in the morning, was falling steadily now.

“Wow, the forecast was spot on,” I murmured to myself.

The morning weather report I’d seen before leaving home had predicted this exactly. Feeling grateful for checking it, I pulled the foldable umbrella from my bag and stepped outside, opening it against the downpour.

Raindrops formed countless ripples in the puddles pooling on the ground.

(What could Nakamura-kun be struggling with?)

The image of his face during cleaning time flashed in my mind.

From what I’d seen during the day, nothing unusual seemed to have happened to him at school. Perhaps it was something at home—something I wouldn’t know about.

It’s only natural not to want others prying into personal matters, especially when the relationship isn’t close enough to share such things. Maybe we just hadn’t built that kind of trust yet.

Maybe I should invite him to hang out sometime.

If we spent time together and got closer, perhaps he’d open up to me eventually.

(If that happens, maybe one day he’ll think I’m even more dependable than Hasegawa-chan…)

The thought warmed me.

One step at a time, right? If I keep working to build a connection with him, surely we can grow closer.

“…Huh?”

The realization hit me mid-thought.

(Wait a second… Am I… competing with Hasegawa-chan?)

Thinking back, this wasn’t the first time. I’d told myself before, “Even without Hasegawa-chan, I’ll be there for him.”

(Good grief, what am I doing? There’s no need to compete with her, and no need to rush.)

I sighed at my own silliness, observing my feelings with a mix of amusement and embarrassment.

“…?”

It was then that I noticed someone standing about 10 meters ahead of me.

That person were waiting at the crosswalk, holding still in front of the red light.

What struck me was that despite the pouring rain, that person wasn’t using an umbrella. That person stood completely exposed, allowing the rain to drench them.

“…!”

It was Nakamura-kun.

At first, I didn’t recognize him because he was facing sideways, but then I saw that he was turning to his right, and his right arm was missing. That’s when I realized it was him.

“Nakamura-kun!”

I ran up to him and held the umbrella over his head.

“Don’t you have an umbrella? You’ll catch a cold if you stay like this.”

“……”

“Where are you headed? I’ll walk with you until you get there. Let’s share the umbrella, okay?”

“……”

Nakamura-kun didn’t say anything. He slowly turned his face toward me.

His expression at that moment… I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

It was a face filled with such sorrow.

At first glance, it just seemed like a neutral expression, but his eyes were vacant. I’d never seen such a look before—like someone who had given up on everything.

His lips were slightly bitten, and there was a subtle furrow between his brows. Because it wasn’t a dramatic grimace, it made it all the more clear—he was trying desperately to hide emotions that were just too overwhelming to contain.

Raindrops were falling from his bangs, dripping steadily down his face and chin.

And some of those drops… might not have been from the rain at all. They might have been tears.

“…Kurasaki-san.”

Nakamura-kun called my name in a hoarse voice.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about me.”

“Eh?”

“A fool who forgets their umbrella deserves to get wet on their way home. I’ll just have to deal with my own mess.”

“That’s… no, you don’t have to push yourself that hard. If you catch a cold, everyone… I’ll worry about you.”

“……”

“I get it, wanting to handle things on your own, but… you don’t have to be so stubborn. You can rely on others too.”

“……”

“See? Don’t be so stubborn. I’ll share the umbrella with you.”

“…I don’t understand.”

“Eh?”

Nakamura-kun gritted his teeth tightly and then, with a voice that was far from the usual kindness I knew him for, he shouted at me.

“You’ll never understand how I feel, Kurasaki-san!!”

“………”

“Stop it already! Don’t bother with me! I’d be better off not being here at all!! I’m always causing trouble for everyone, I should just die!”

“……!”

“I’m always clumsy, useless, and never reliable when it matters!! I’ve always been like this, and now that I’ve lost my arm, I have no way to live without being a burden to everyone!!”

“………”

“I’m just ruining everyone’s lives! I’m nothing but a hindrance, an obstacle!”

“………”

“Do you get how I feel!? Of course, you don’t! So stay away!! You’ll never understand my feelings, not with two arms like yours!!”

The sound of his scream was so intense, it almost drowned out the sound of the rain.

He was breathing heavily, trying to calm himself.

“………”

After a while, it seemed like he was starting to settle down. His brows furrowed, and he looked at the ground, murmuring softly, “I’m sorry.”

“I said something terrible to you, Kurasaki-san.”

“………”

“You were only worried about me. But I… I…”

“………”

“It’s really just me lashing out. I took all the frustration inside me and… threw it at you. Damn it, I’m really the worst… damn it, damn it…”

“………”

I stood there, silent, as his words echoed through the rain. His voice trembled with regret, and I could see how deeply he was struggling with his emotions.

I quietly stared at him.

The words Nakamura-kun had spoken to me didn’t feel like mere insults. In fact, I thought they were entirely justified.

It’s true—I have both arms. I could never fully understand what it feels like to have only one.

And yet, I had said, “I understand how you feel, Nakamura-kun,” offering a shallow kind of sympathy. It was no wonder that it frustrated him.

(…I’m such a shameful person.)

I clenched my teeth tightly, holding back the bitter feelings rising within me.

Somewhere deep in my heart, I had looked down on Nakamura-kun. I pitied him for being “unfortunate” and believed it was my duty to “support” him—a condescending mindset, assuming we weren’t even equals.

I was a careless hypocrite, oblivious to how he truly felt.

I was the one who was truly awful.

“………………”

I gently closed the umbrella I had been holding and gazed at my right hand.

As I stared at it, anger began to bubble up inside me. A deep, unrelenting frustration overflowed from the depths of my heart.

“………………”

I crouched down on the wet ground, placing my right hand onto the pavement. Raindrops steadily fell on the back of my hand, pooling before dripping off.

Thunk!

I stabbed the sharp tip of the closed umbrella into the back of my hand.

Over and over and over, I drove it into the same spot. My skin began to redden, and soon, blood started to trickle out.

“K-Kurasaki-san!?”

Startled by my actions, Nakamura-kun crouched down beside me, grabbing my arm to stop me.

“What are you doing!? You’re bleeding!”

“It’s fine! This hand… it doesn’t deserve to exist anymore!”

“Stop it! Please, stop this, Kurasaki-san! I’m begging you, stop!”

Nakamura-kun grabbed the umbrella from my hand and hurled it far away.

Rain poured down on me, drenching me from head to toe, soaking my hair, my back, and everything in between.

Yet, I didn’t feel cold at all. The fire of anger surging from deep within my core had consumed me entirely, burning away any sensation of the chill.

“Hah… hah… hah…”

“Why!? Why, Kurasaki-san!?”

“………………”

“Why are you doing this…!? This kind of thing…!”

“…Because I wanted to.”

“Huh…? Wh-what are you saying?”

“………………”

I lifted my gaze to meet his, looking him straight in the eyes, and said:

“I wanted to become like you, Nakamura-kun.”

“………………”

“If I lose the ability to use my right hand, I’ll finally understand how you feel. I’ll truly be able to stand by your side, in every sense of the word.”

“………………”

“I’m sorry, Nakamura-kun. For thinking I understood how you felt without ever truly trying to. From now on, I’ll do it properly.”

“K-Kurasaki-san!”

Nakamura-kun grabbed my shoulders, gripping them tightly. He clenched his eyes shut and began to sob uncontrollably.

“I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry!”

“………………”

“If only… if only I hadn’t said something so unnecessary!”

“………………”

“This isn’t what I wanted! I didn’t want you to do something like this! I… damn it! I…”

Nakamura-kun trembled as he hung his head low.

The hands gripping my shoulders tightened, their hold becoming firm and desperate.

…Zaaa—

The rain poured endlessly over us, relentless and unyielding.

It felt as if the sky itself was crying in our place.