I Risked My Life To Save The Cheeky Girl, And As A Result, I Lost My Right Arm. - Chapter 8.1: The Lamentation of Hypocrites. (Part 1)

The Lamentation of Hypocrites. (Part 1)

Tuesday, March 18th. 7:30 in the morning.

Cough, cough.

Hasegawa lay in bed, wincing as she coughed.

I stood by her bedside, placing an ice pillow beneath her head.

Beep, beep.

The thermometer tucked under her left arm signaled its completion. Hasegawa took it out and checked the temperature.

“What’s the reading?”

When I asked, she replied in a strained voice, “It’s 38.4°C.”

“Alright, Hasegawa. Just rest for today. You should definitely skip school.”

“But… I’ll go. I have to be by your side, senpai…”

“What are you saying? If you go in this condition, things could get worse! Please, take it easy today, okay?”

“But…”

“No ‘but’ or ‘because’! Besides, what will you do if I catch your cold because you overexerted yourself?”

“That’s…”

“Exactly, right? So, what I’m saying is, rest for my sake! Not yours—mine! Got it?”

“…Fufu~, alright. I understand.”

Hasegawa allowed herself a small smile as she responded.

“For senpai’s sake… I’ll rest today.”

“That’s right. Do that.”

“Thank you, senpai.”

“Hmm? Why are you thanking me? I’m only thinking about myself, you know~?”

“Hehe, honestly…”

Hasegawa and I exchanged soft smiles as we laughed together.

“Alright, I’ll be heading off to school then.”

“Okay, take care.”

“Yeah, I will. By the way, my mom has the day off today, so if anything happens, rely on her, alright?”

“I’m sorry for being such a bother.”

“It’s fine, really. I’ll let her know in advance, so don’t push yourself too hard, okay?”

I slung my bag over my shoulder and reached for the doorknob to leave the room.

“Se-senpai,”

Hasegawa called out to me just then.

“Hm? What’s up?”

“………………”

“…? What is it, Hasegawa? Did I forget something?”

“………………”

She said nothing, simply gazing at me intently. Aside from the occasional soft cough, she remained silent.

Then, without uttering a single word, she gave me a small wave.

“………………”

I paused, letting go of the doorknob, and waved back to her. She responded with a faint but gentle smile, despite her weakened state.

Her smile somehow warmed my heart. “I’ll be back as soon as I can today,” I said, before stepping out of the room.

Vroom, vroom.

On the bus heading to school, I stood, clutching a hand strap for support.

The bus was packed, practically squashing everyone together like a human sandwich, and the humid heat inside made it feel stifling.

(Damn… my arm’s killing me. Wish I could find a seat…)

Unfortunately, everyone seated near me was sound asleep. Waking someone up just to take their spot felt too inconsiderate, so I decided to tough it out.

Oh well, only two more stops until school. I could endure it until then.

(Still… I hope Hasegawa’s doing okay.)

It was that time of the year when colds spread easily. She had a fever, and it looked like she was really struggling.

Maybe I should grab some sports drinks on my way back. Staying hydrated is crucial when you’re sick. I really hope her fever breaks soon…

Oh, right. While I’m at it, I could pick up some snacks she might like. She’d probably appreciate that.

“Thank you, senpai.”

“………………”

Imagining Hasegawa’s smiling face, I felt a warm sensation spread through my chest.

Ever since that day at the shopping mall, her expressions had become brighter. While she still had moments of awkwardness, it felt like her nervousness was gradually easing.

And after that day, I found myself cracking jokes around her more often. Spending time together helped us settle into a comfortable rhythm, one where we could enjoy each other’s company.

(What does she like? Maybe chocolate? Or ice cream? What would make her happy?)

I just wanted to see her smile again…

Lost in thoughts about Hasegawa, I was jolted back to reality.

“Next stop: Omiya High School. Omiya High School.”

The bus driver’s announcement signaled my stop.

I released the hand strap and reached for the button to signal my departure.

“Whoa!”

Suddenly, the bus swayed, throwing me off balance. My left elbow accidentally struck the back of an elderly man’s head nearby.

“Ow! What the hell, you punk?!”

The man turned to me, glaring with a ferocious expression.

“S-sorry! Are you alright?”

“Alright?! Do I look alright?! What if I die of a stroke because of this? Huh?! How are you going to take responsibility?!”

The old man’s angry voice echoed through the bus. Great—this guy was clearly the troublesome type.

“I truly apologize. I just let go of the strap to press the stop button…”

“Idiot! A cripple like you has no business riding a bus!”

“What?”

“You’re a nuisance! If you can’t even hold onto a strap properly, don’t get on the bus! Buses are meant for people with two working arms!”

“………………”

“Hey! Driver! Stop the bus and get this idiot off right now! I swear, young people these days have no sense of how much trouble they cause others!”

As the old man’s anger escalated, a sharp voice interrupted him. “Oh, shut up already!” A woman nearby shouted.

“You’re the one causing a nuisance here! If anyone should get off this bus, it’s you!”

“W-what did you say?!”

“This kid already apologized! Stop making such a fuss over nothing! If you keep this up, I’ll call the police!”

“………………”

The old man had no retort. His face twisted in frustration, but the mention of “police” had clearly struck a nerve.

When the bus stopped, the old man hastily got off. The woman watched him leave and muttered, “Hmph, pathetic,” with an audible huff.

“I’m sorry about this, ma’am. And thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it. We all need to help each other when we’re in trouble. Listen, don’t let a jerk like that get to you, okay? The real fool here was him.”

“…Yes, thank you.”

“By the way, weren’t you getting off? Didn’t you press the button?”

“…No, I think I’ll ride one more stop. I’d rather not risk running into him again.”

“Fair enough. What a morning, huh? You’ve had quite the ordeal.”

“…Yes, I have.”

Vroom…

The bus resumed its journey to the next stop.

I held onto the strap again, swaying gently as the bus rumbled forward, lost in thought.

That entire day, I was lost in thought.

During class, during lunch, my mind wouldn’t work.

No, to be precise, my mind was trapped, echoing with the old man’s words, making it impossible to focus on anything else.

It was now cleaning time in the classroom, but I stood frozen in place, broom in hand, like a statue.

“Idiot! A cripple like you has no business riding a bus!”

“You’re a nuisance! If you can’t even hold onto a strap properly, don’t get on the bus! Buses are for people with two working arms!”

“………………”

Every time I recalled those words, my heart pounded violently.

It felt as if my chest was being squeezed, my heart crushed under a suffocating weight.

That lady was right—I didn’t need to let those words get to me. They were empty insults, meaningless enough to brush off.

But my heart refused to comply.

(I am… a burden. A nuisance…)

Yes, I am missing an arm.

I can’t live normally anymore. This handicap, this lack of an arm—it’s a lifelong companion. It won’t leave me until I die.

Because of this arm, I inconvenience the people around me. Simply by existing, I create situations where I must rely on the help of others.

“………………”

Drip, drip drip.

Outside, a light rain began to fall. Droplets streaked down the window glass, sliding to the bottom before disappearing.

(Even if no one says it, deep down, they probably don’t want to help me at all, do they?)

Maybe, in their hearts, they think the same as that old man. Maybe they find me a nuisance, an annoyance.

Maybe they’re tired of always having to go out of their way for me.

How many people have I depended on up until now? How many times have I been helped, taken care of?

They’ve carried things for me, written things for me, waited patiently while I fumbled through tasks that take twice as long with one hand.

If I had both arms, none of that would have been necessary.

If only I weren’t like this…

(Wouldn’t it be better if I just died right now?)

“………………”

If I were gone, no one would have to worry about me anymore.

If I were gone, Dad and Mom wouldn’t have to keep working to support someone like me.

If I were gone, Hasegawa wouldn’t have to endure the pain of taking care of me.

Yes, that’s it.

Hasegawa caught a cold… because of me, didn’t she?

She’s always looking after me, day in and day out. That stress must’ve finally taken its toll, and now she’s sick because of it.

If I died, Hasegawa would be free too. She wouldn’t have to look after me anymore.

It’s because I’m alive—half-living, anyway—that she’s stuck in this situation.

Honestly, what nonsense. I keep telling myself I want her to smile, but isn’t my presence the very thing keeping her from smiling?

I’m such a piece of trash. Selfish and pathetic. A hypocrite, basking in my own self-satisfaction.

I should just die already. I’m a curse on everyone around me.

“………………”

“Nakamura-kun, what’s wrong?”

Before I realized it, Kurasaki-san, my classmate, was standing next to me.

She was peering at my face with a worried expression, her eyebrows furrowed.

“Oh, ah… Kurasaki-san…”

“Did something happen? You look like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

“N-no, it’s nothing.”

“Really? You’re not forcing yourself, are you?”

“I’m not. Really.”

I forced a smile as I said that.

Raaaaaaahhhhhhhh

The light drizzle outside had turned into a downpour before anyone noticed.

The classroom, dim and damp, felt even more suffocating than before.