I Risked My Life To Save The Cheeky Girl, And As A Result, I Lost My Right Arm. - Chapter 15.2: Hate. —Part 2.

Hate. —Part 2.

I realized, after parting ways with the seniors, that I immediately entered the girls’ restroom.

Inside a stall, I stifled my sobs.

“…Ugh, ugh… u…”

I sat on the toilet seat, waiting for my body to stop trembling. But no matter how much time passed, the shaking wouldn’t stop.

I gripped my skirt tightly. My fists were damp with sweat.

“…Ugh, ugh…”

My heart felt like it was going to break. The pain was so much, I couldn’t bear it.

“So, the First Sino-Japanese War comes first, and then the Russo-Japanese War, right?”

“Yes! You’re right, Nakamura-kun! If you remember that, you’re all set!”

“Thank you, Kurasaki-san. This part really confused me, so you’ve been a huge help.”

“Hehe, no problem at all. If I could be of help to you, Nakamura-kun, I’m happy too.”

Nakamura-senpai and Kurasaki-senpai’s exchange kept replaying in my mind. It echoed over and over, making me feel more and more trapped with each repetition.

…I knew I had no right to interfere with their relationship. I had no authority over them.

I didn’t know what feelings Kurasaki-senpai had for Nakamura-senpai, but it was clear that they weren’t just friendly.

After all, no one would offer to tutor someone one-on-one unless they were close enough. No one would sacrifice their lunch break unless they wanted to spend time with the other person.

Maybe Kurasaki-senpai was hoping to get even closer to Nakamura-senpai… I had sensed that from the beginning.

That’s why, when I first heard Nakamura-senpai mention it, I considered…

Leaving.

I wanted to step aside, leave them alone, and maybe that would help them get closer.

“I’ve decided… I will never fall in love again.”

Nakamura-senpai had said that, but still… deep down, he must not want to give up on love. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have said something like that.

So, in order for Nakamura-senpai to walk toward happiness, I wanted to help bridge the gap between him and Kurasaki-senpai, so they could become a couple… I wanted to make that possible.

But instead…

“I’ll be with you too, Yuzu.”

I, I…

I became a hindrance.

I got in the way of Nakamura-senpai and Kurasaki-senpai getting closer. I ruined their chance.

Because I didn’t want them to get closer.

Because I didn’t want them to become a couple.

“Ughh…!! Ugh, ugh…”

Heartburn and nausea hit me at once. The voice I had been holding back finally broke through, and sobs leaked out through my lips.

“I’m the worst…! The worst, the worst, the worst!”

The words that surged in my chest spilled out before I could stop them.

“Why! Why am I always so selfish…!? Why! Why do I always get in the way of senpai…!?”

Nakamura-senpai lost his right arm because of me. And now, because of me, he might lose his future lover.

Because I like him. Because I’m in love with him. His life is getting ruined more and more. I want to do things for him, but it always ends up backfiring.

“Enough! I hate it! I hate it…!! I hate myself so much…!”

I hunched over, messing up my hair in frustration.

“Die! Die! Just die…!”

I wish I could just die…

For a while after that, I let out silent screams. I couldn’t even go to class. I was just alone, stuck in the dimly lit restroom.