Vol 2 Chapter 3 – Even When Plans Don’t Go as Expected, the Result Stays the Same

The army of the Kingdom of Rotoria finally began its march toward the border.

This time, even the Emperor didn’t have the luxury of being stubborn. From the start, a request had come to the Saionji Duke family, so Yumeba, Yukina-san, and I were on standby near the border.

“Let me make this clear from the beginning. We can attack the enemy army once they cross the border line… Hup!”

Just as Yukina-san was explaining, she suddenly swung her sword mid-sentence—and the shockwave carved a long, clear line into the ground.

“We can attack once they cross that line, but attacking before they cross it is strictly forbidden, understood?”

“Yes…”

Wouldn’t it be easier if this person just handled everything alone?

Why does a shockwave come out just from swinging a sword with no enchantments?

“…What?”

“Nothing, nothing at all.”

Would Yumeba end up like this in the future too?

While the Imperial army gathering at the border seemed busy with various preparations—building encampments, setting traps, and so on—until the enemy forces appeared, none of that concerned us. So I pulled out a massive tent from my dimensional storage and decided to rest inside.

“That really is convenient. Maybe I should’ve brought my darling along?”

The exterior looked like a tent, but inside it had a complete set of furniture. A soundproof divider hung in the center of the room, creating separate living spaces for us and Yukina-san.

Of course, the beds were doubles.

Moreover, even if we brought Yukina-san’s husband along, there was enough space for two couples to live comfortably.

Though I doubted Yukina-san would bring her combat-incapable husband to a battlefield.

“By the way, does Yukina-san’s husband really have no combat ability?”

“I don’t know much about Father myself. Mother never let me near him.”

“…Yeah, that tracks.”

The Saionji Duke family doesn’t even let their own daughters get too close to their beloved husbands if they can help it.

I talk to him occasionally, and he seems like a normal person when we chat—but whether a truly normal person could marry into the Saionji Duke family is highly questionable.

That man probably has something special about him too, which keeps me on guard.

“~♪”

Meanwhile, Yukina-san was happily chatting with her husband back in the capital using the telepathic device I’d made.

Having that device was what kept Yukina-san mentally stable even on the battlefield.

When women of the Saionji Duke family are separated from their beloved husbands for extended periods—they gradually become more and more irritable.

Eventually, they’d go berserk and rampage until reunited with their husbands, with no way to calm them down before that reunion.

“…”

Thinking about it that way, Yumeba had been right to bring me along during that Imperial Knight Order’s summer training camp.

“What?”

“I love you, Yumeba!”

“I love you too, Lio♡”

I should make sure never to let Yumeba feel starved for affection going forward.

◇◇◇

Monitoring the enemy army’s advance, I periodically used teleportation to secretly send Yukina-san back to her home in the capital, letting her meet her husband to relieve stress.

I couldn’t openly send Yukina-san back to the capital with the military on high alert, but that’s why I’d set up the massive tent as cover. As long as we didn’t get caught, it was fine.

Even with the telepathic device helping to mitigate things, not being able to actually meet her husband still gradually worsened her mood.

“~♪”

On the other hand, Yumeba was constantly with me, so her stress level remained near zero as always.

“I wish they’d hurry up and get here already.”

Yukina-san seemed frustrated by the time limit on her rendezvous with her husband, muttering something dangerous.

Wanting the enemy army to hurry up wasn’t something you could let regular soldiers hear.

“Considering the enemy army’s march rate… the day after tomorrow or maybe three days from now?”

The enemy army was advancing relatively quickly, but moving a large force still took time.

Incidentally, checking with World Map revealed the enemy’s total numbers at around 30,000.

In contrast, the Imperial army gathered at the border was just over 10,000.

Moreover, while the enemy army’s morale was high, the Imperial army’s morale was rock bottom.

Well, the Emperor had strained to gather this army, and the conditions—starting with food supplies—weren’t great.

On top of that, they had to fight an enemy nearly three times their size, so there was nothing to raise morale.

“We’re outnumbered, our morale is lower, and we’re less trained. Is there any way to win?”

“We won’t lose because we’re here.”

“…Right.”

It wasn’t good that the Empire relied so heavily on the Saionji Duke family for defense, but that was the only winning factor left, so it couldn’t be helped.

The Emperor’s real intention was probably to end the war quickly and disband an army that cost money just to maintain.

◇◇◇

Finally—or perhaps inevitably—the enemy army appeared at the Empire’s border.

“Finally” was what I and the other Saionji Duke family members thought, while “inevitably” was what the low-morale Imperial soldiers thought.

Battle would begin immediately, so both armies started forming their formations, but…

“Huh? Is that position okay?”

“…This isn’t according to plan.”

When I asked, Yukina-san answered with a troubled look.

The Imperial army’s position was right at the border defense line—in other words, positioned at the very edge to prevent enemies from entering the border.

The plan had been to lure the enemy across the border so we could sortie, but at this rate, we couldn’t make a move until the enemy broke through the Imperial army and entered the border.

“Did the commander go rogue?”

“I wonder. I explained it multiple times during the war council, and he seemed to understand the plan then.”

“Hmm.”

After consulting with Yumeba, I used True Eyes just in case to search for the commander, and…

“He’s totally panicking and yelling at everyone around him. Looks like the army captains formed up for standard border defense thinking that was the plan.”

“…Communication failure.”

Despite holding multiple war councils and explaining the operation, it seemed the plan hadn’t been accurately conveyed to the commanders.

“Either way, it’s too late now. We can’t make a move unless the enemy army breaks through the Imperial army and crosses the border, or the Imperial army retreats inside the border and lures the enemy in.”

“If it was going to end up like this, we didn’t need 10,000 Imperial soldiers.”

“Right. Just 300 would’ve been enough to keep up appearances.”

We ended up discussing things that would make the Emperor collapse if he heard them, after all his effort gathering 10,000 troops.

“…It’s starting.”

And so the war began.

It started with the standard exchange of arrows between archers, and as the distance closed, mages traded spells.

However, only Imperial soldiers fell, while enemy soldiers who fell were immediately pulled back for treatment and returned to battle.

Then, as the Imperial formation crumbled, the cavalry that had been waiting on the enemy’s flank charged in.

“…It’s collapsing.”

Just as Yumeba declared, the Imperial army stampeded and scattered after the cavalry charge, and enemy infantry rushed into the chaos.

“Isn’t it rare for things to go this perfectly according to standard tactics?”

“The enemy has superior numbers, morale, training, and command. I’d be more surprised if we held out.”

“…They’re about to cross the border line.”

“Yes. Let’s go.”

Different from the original plan, the Imperial army collapsed completely and fled inside the border, with the enemy army pursuing them across the border.

Confirming this, we prepared to sortie, and then…

“Gahaha! Weak! Too weak! Are there only weakling soldiers in the Empire?!”

We spotted an oddly conspicuous guy rampaging at the head of the enemy army.

Over two meters tall with abnormally bulging muscles, wearing only minimal armor, his entire body gleamed with a metallic sheen.

And it wasn’t just him—everyone around him looked the same.

“I am Glossa, leader of the Fierce Tiger Mercenary Company! Are the famed Imperial soldiers only this much?! Where are those rumored Saionji sluts?!”

“…”

Ah. Yumeba-san just quietly snapped.

Naturally, since the women of the Saionji Duke family were devoted only to their husbands and poured their whole heart and soul into loving them, words that insulted that—like calling them sluts—were basically taboo.

Yumeba silently pushed through the fleeing Imperial soldiers and—stood in the path of the gleaming group.

“What’s this, little girl? We ain’t interested in women, so prostitutes are usel—?”

That guy wasn’t Glossa, the one who’d called himself the leader, but being closest to Yumeba was his misfortune.

Before anyone could tell when Yumeba’s left-hand katana had been drawn from its sheath at incomprehensible speed—the gleaming man’s body was diagonally bisected, cutting off his words as he fell to the ground.

“Impossible! She cut through a body coated entirely in mithril!”

So that’s why they gleamed so oddly—they’d coated themselves entirely in mithril.

She really did cut through mithril with an iron sword.

I thought she might be able to do it, but to actually pull it off…

“You guys… the Kitten Mercenary Company, was it? You’re weak, so why don’t you tuck your tails and run home?”

Then Yumeba flashed a savage grin and provoked the mercenaries.

“Fuhaha! Interesting!”

But rather than flee, the mercenaries gleefully advanced on Yumeba.

Their appearance might be ridiculous, but their movements suggested veteran warriors. Three men rushed at Yumeba in coordination as the first one started running, and…

“Ugh… weak, so weak.”

They were cut down without a sound.

“Real kittens would put up a better fight. I’m bored, so come at me while doing tricks or something.”

And then more provocation.

Actually, is that really provocation?

“…Who are you?”

“What’s the point of giving my name to someone about to die pointlessly?”

Yeah. She’s definitely snapped and just saying whatever comes to mind.

After that, she cut down the mithril-coated guys one after another, and…

“Huh?”

I realized Yukina-san, who should’ve been nearby, was gone.

“Ah.”

Then I saw her cutting down mercenaries from a different angle than Yumeba.

Well yeah, you’re also from the Saionji Duke family, so being called a slut would make you snap too.

Also, you can apparently cut mithril even without a specialized katana.

“…Guess I should work too.”

I decided to fire magic at enemies other than those Yumeba and the others were targeting—enemy soldiers besides the mercenary company.

I’d judged that the mercenaries coated entirely in mithril would be less affected by magic, but when I occasionally caught them in the area of effect, it seemed to work just fine on them.

What even was mithril supposed to be?

◇◆◇

What the hell is this?

Glossa, leader of the Fierce Tiger Mercenary Company—renamed the Kitten Mercenary Company by Yumeba—could only stare blankly at the scene before him.

The absolute defense he’d gained through the insane act of coating his entire body in mithril was completely useless against two women—Yumeba and Yukina.

Not only was their defense meaningless, but the warriors who’d formed a mercenary company of elite fighters were being cut down helplessly like new recruits on their first battlefield.

So these… are the Saionji Duke family.

At this point, Glossa successfully identified the enemy, but identifying them meant nothing.

To them, fighting strong opponents was supreme bliss, and dying while fighting strong opponents would be their greatest honor—but this wasn’t even a fight.

No matter how much they sought strong opponents as battle junkies, being one-sidedly trampled by an overwhelmingly powerful foe wasn’t fun.

What mattered to them was the exhilaration gained in battle.

On top of that, ridiculously powerful spells—actually magic—kept getting fired, and even the aftershocks alone turned company members coated entirely in mithril to charcoal.

Even if metal had resistance to magic, that only reduced magical damage to some degree. It couldn’t block even the residual effects of Emilio’s high-powered magic.

As company members kept falling one after another, leader Glossa…

I’ve found my death ground. I’ll taste what it means to face the strongest, and then I—

Despite what he thought, his body crawled backward, moving behind the others, and…

“Tch. As expected of the Kitten Mercenary Company, they’re good at tucking tail and running.”

“The mercenary company leader running away first… How admirable.”

Hearing the contempt from the two strongest women at his back, Glossa returned to the border line, turned his back on the battlefield, and fled at full speed.

Later, he would spend the rest of his days scorned as “Glossa the Coward” and “Glossa whose only skill is running away”—but since that’s irrelevant to this story, we’ll skip it.

◇◇◇

Even though the Imperial army had completely collapsed, actual casualties numbered only a few hundred.

In contrast, the enemy army was half-destroyed—about 15,000 killed—and fled back to their own country.

Needless to say, most of these battle results came from the Saionji Duke family.

“When I see that mercenary company leader next time, I’m going to absolutely pulverize him!”

“…That was the Kingdom of Rotoria, wasn’t it?”

The two were angry that they’d let the mercenary company leader escape across the border.

Also, Yukina-san, I think the mercenaries were just hired, so please stop trying to secretly invade the Kingdom of Rotoria.

It would seriously cause an international incident.

“…My apologies.”

After the battle ended, the general who’d been assigned command of the Imperial army came to us and bowed his head.

Well, the communication failure had made the original plan unusable and caused unnecessary casualties.

If the Saionji Duke family had sortied according to plan from the start, those hundreds of casualties wouldn’t have occurred.

“Anyway, we’re heading back, but we’ll leave the post-battle cleanup to you.”

“…Leave it to me.”

The commander, who hadn’t distinguished himself in battle, watched us leave via teleportation to the capital without complaint.

◇◆◇

Later.

Having finished various post-battle procedures, the general had an audience with the Emperor to report.

“As expected, a patchwork army with patchwork captains was too much. I never anticipated they’d start fighting on their own without even understanding the war council.”

“My deepest apologies.”

“It’s fine. I understand this wasn’t your incompetence.”

The general chosen as commander this time was too excellent to waste commanding a patchwork army.

If even he couldn’t manage it, no one else assigned as commander could have done anything either.

“Still… half the enemy killed. That’s effectively total annihilation.”

“Yes. Moreover, most of the battle results came from His Highness Emilio’s astonishing grand magic.”

This war wasn’t so much Emilio’s great achievement as it was that Yumeba and Yukina got fixated on annihilating the mercenary company and slacked off, so Emilio’s contributions just happened to stand out.

“The Fierce Tiger Mercenary Company, right? That insane mercenary company that coated their entire bodies with precious mithril using special techniques. So the Saionji Duke family took on those magic-resistant enemies while Emilio handled the rest?”

“A-Actually… His Highness Emilio’s magic incinerated the mercenary company members with just the aftershocks.”

“…What?”

“This is only my personal opinion, but I believe His Highness Emilio alone could have completely annihilated the enemy army.”

“…”

Hearing the general’s assessment, the Emperor thought for just an instant:

If Emilio became Emperor, wouldn’t the Empire’s long-cherished dream of continental unification be easily achieved?

It was truly only for an instant before the Emperor shook his head and banished the foolish thought.

He understood all too clearly that trying to make Emilio Emperor would turn not just the Saionji Duke family but Emilio himself into enemies.

I seem to lack judgment of character despite being Emperor.

The son he’d treated poorly just for having black hair and heterochromia possessed the qualities most suited to being Emperor.

He couldn’t help thinking what might have been if he’d treated Emilio the same as the other princes.

Too late for such thoughts now.

The future had already been lost when Emilio chose not to participate in the succession struggle. The Emperor sighed deeply, very deeply.

After finishing all his official duties and heading back to his chambers—he encountered a son in peculiar attire.

“…What are you doing?”

“F-Father… No, Your Majesty! Th-This isn’t what it looks like!”

For some reason—yes, for some reason—the Empire’s Fifth Prince, Yunix, was standing in a palace corridor dressed as a bunny girl.

“I once thought you were a capable son, but your recent eccentric behavior has been excessive. Why don’t you learn from your brother Emilio?”

“…!”

That was a comment that slipped out unconsciously because he’d come to recognize Emilio as the son most suited to being Emperor, but it was practically a forbidden phrase for Yunix.

Having suffered endlessly as the twin brother of the “discarded prince,” for Yunix, any praise of Emilio was bad enough, but being told to “learn from Emilio” was utterly unacceptable.

Moreover, when such words came from the Emperor—the pinnacle of the Empire—it was even worse.

“…! Excuse me!”

But Yunix’s upbringing as a prince didn’t permit the outrage of arguing with the Emperor.

Grinding his teeth, Yunix departed the Emperor’s presence, his face twisted in the ultimate humiliation as he walked away briskly.

Still dressed as a bunny girl.