Vol 2 Chapter 14 – When I Let My Wife Have Modern Conveniences, Her Yandere Escalated

Winter mornings in the Alcian Empire are cold.

Convenient things like heaters don’t exist in this world, so I’ve always hated winter mornings.

Now that I can use sorcery and magic, I can warm up a room—but putting a spell together when I’m sleepy is a pain, so…

“Mmmnnh~♪”

These days, my favorite way to keep warm is hugging Yumeba’s naked body—warm and soft—and bundling up together under the blankets.

Half-asleep, Yumeba hugs me back and rubs against me, sharing body heat like that…

“Good morning. It’s morning alread~y.”

“………….”

Just when the mood starts building enough that it feels like we might cross a line, Yukina-san wakes us up—this has basically become our daily life.

Well, since both Yumeba and I are naked, it’s not like she actually barges in and shakes us awake, but it’s true that she forces us to wake up.

I doubt she’s doing it with killing intent, but somehow we still get forcibly snapped awake anyway.

Will Yumeba be able to do that someday, too?

My money-making finally settled down—or rather, I got blacklisted by the Adventurers’ Guild, so it forcibly ended.

I checked with the Emperor for good measure, and he said we should be able to cover the war funds, so it seems there’s no need to earn any more.

Today too, I sent Yumeba off to Royal Guard training with a hug and a kiss—and then I decided to get to work modifying smartphones.

I gave Unit No. 1 to Yumeba, but I still want at least email functionality.

So that’s why I’ve been working my butt off analyzing the smartphone, but…

(Yeah, this is rough solo.)

Part of it is that I’m not a specialist, but I really do want at least one person to help.

Yumeba’s reliable, but what I need right now is a helper with modern Japanese knowledge.

Even better if they know programming.

Well, if I actually knew someone like that, I wouldn’t be struggling this much…

(Wait—those guys were reincarnators from Japan too, weren’t they?)

What comes to mind are the two cheat reincarnators staying as Yunix’s “guests”: one with black hair, one with brown hair.

They’ve got no guts, they’re still whining and dragging their feet through Yunix’s training, and they’re the kind of duo that makes you wonder if they really have cheats at all.

Of course, it’s out of the question for me to contact them directly, but…

(There are plenty of ways to do it.)

I don’t expect them to be useful, but I should confirm it, just in case.

◇◆◇

Today too, Yunix was clutching his head because of the two cheat reincarnators.

“You two! Stop trying to take breaks every five seconds! Run upright—don’t hunch over!”

“Eeeeh…”

“Quit talking back!”

Kitazawa Ryuji and Nanba Yosuke try to sit down and rest the moment there’s even a second to spare, and when they run, they curl themselves up as much as possible.

“It’s cold, okay?”

“Let us wear thicker clothes!”

“S-T-O-P IT!”

Their excuse is basically: 《Because it’s winter.》

They spent years living cozy in heated rooms through cold winters, so they have zero tolerance for the cold.

“Yuni’s kinda short-tempered, huh?”

“Maybe he’s low on calcium?”

“Shut up and run!”

And even when they do run, they jog along lazily while chatting.

From Yunix’s perspective—someone who knows what Royal Guard training is like—telling him not to yell would be the unreasonable demand.

And then, break time.

It’s less a break for Kitazawa Ryuji and Nanba Yosuke, and more a break for Yunix—who’s tired from yelling—so Yunix leaves them behind and heads back to his room.

“This is nothing like the isekai life I imagined.”

“Yeah, and we can’t even say ‘isekai’ around Yuni.”

Because of the restrictions imposed by Earth’s god, the two of them can’t leak modern Japanese information in front of Yunix—someone who’s purely a person of this world.

“Man, this is boring.”

“If only we had a smartphone, at least.”

The two of them, taking their break and complaining, grumble—and then a smartphone plops down right in front of them.

“…Huh?”

Confused, they look at each other, then cautiously pick up the smartphone lying on the ground.

“It’s a smartphone, right?”

“It’s a smartphone.”

They nod to each other and focus on it—and Nanba Yosuke casually turns it on.

The screen lights up without any issues…

“There aren’t any apps.”

“It can’t call or email.”

Realizing it’s a useless piece of junk, they drop to their knees in disappointment.

But while they’re slumping, letters start appearing on the smartphone screen automatically.

《Please cooperate so we can upgrade this smartphone》

“Huh…?”

For a moment, they’re confused, and it takes them a second to process what it means, but…

“So basically, we can add whatever functions we want to this thing ourselves?”

“Now this sounds fun. This is what an isekai is supposed to be like!”

Once they get it, they start frantically messing with the smartphone, completely absorbed.

The two of them poured themselves into adding functions to the smartphone, day and night.

Normally, they didn’t have the skills to add smartphone functions—but the hypnosis magic cast on the device dragged knowledge out of their brains, letting them fully use what they’d once looked up on Earth’s internet, giving them the ability of bargain-bin programmers.

They’d had way too much free time on Earth, and they’d wasted it roaming all kinds of sites for no reason—this was the moment all that useless experience paid off.

They added email functionality right away, but that wasn’t enough for them, so they upgraded it into an L●NE function, recreated the map function they’d wanted in this world, and threw in a calculator and a memo app.

Even though they didn’t understand how it worked themselves, they somehow even connected it to Earth’s internet and made search functionality usable.

But to them, all of that was just the warm-up.

“Alright. I’m adding the game app I was obsessed with on Earth!”

“Then I’ll help—I played it too!”

With passion they’d never shown before, they started embedding all kinds of game apps into the smartphone.

At last, they completed a smartphone that satisfied them.

“Heh. This is what you call a cheat.”

“Now isekai life is finally getting fun.”

With only one smartphone between them, they played like they were fighting over it…

《Thank you for your cooperation. This smartphone will self-destruct in 5 seconds》

“…Huh?”

A completely nonsensical message popped up out of nowhere, and they froze.

And true to the warning, the smartphone exploded—blasting the two of them nearby off their feet and knocking them unconscious.

◇◇◇

Their personalities and behavior are… questionable, but as expected of former Japanese people.

And it seems like both of them had at least touched programming-related stuff before—because once I put them under hypnosis through the smartphone, I managed to pull out information that clearly came from things they’d researched online.

They messed with the smartphone day and night, cranking out whatever functions they wanted and adding them however they pleased.

Of course, as-is it’s not usable, so I still have to reproduce it with magic on my end—but compared to my progress before, the smartphone evolved at an absurd pace.

Up until now, it only had a function for mind-calling a specified person. But now it had email, a calculator, a memo app, a map, an L●NE function evolved from email, and a bunch of game apps on top of that.

The best unexpected win was the map function: by syncing it with my world map magic, I made it possible to get position information on a planetary scale.

And by establishing a relay point, I was able to connect it to Earth’s internet and enable things like search functionality.

Well, setting up that relay point was a pain—I had to open a microscopic teleportation gate and keep mana from leaking into the other world—but still.

Either way, thanks to two cheat reincarnators I’d written off as useless, the smartphone got a massive power boost.

《Thank you for your cooperation. This smartphone will self-destruct in 5 seconds》

“…Huh?”

Of course, just because they helped doesn’t mean I owe them a smartphone. The one I loaned them for information gathering got blown up the moment its job was done.

There’s no way I’m letting Yumeba hold a dangerous object smeared with their grimy fingerprints, and there’s no way I’m using it either.

The upgraded smartphone is already in my hand, and now all that’s left is upgrading Yumeba’s smartphone.

“After all that, I don’t even know what I should do first.”

I upgraded it, but it seems Yumeba herself can’t handle how multi-functional it is.

“For now, as long as you can use mind-call, L●NE, and the map function, you’ll be fine.”

That kind of limitation defeats the point of it being a smartphone, but what matters is Yumeba’s usability—she doesn’t need the other functions.

“Ohhh. So with this, I can send you messages whenever I want, Lio, and I can see where you are at a glance♪”

Strictly speaking, it’s not me—it’s the position of the smartphone I’m carrying—but… close enough.

“Like this?”

Yumeba immediately used L●NE to send me a message.

《Lio, I love you♡》

“………….”

“Ahh♡”

Without saying a word, I hugged Yumeba.

It’s something we tell each other all the time, but seeing it like this—yeah.

Later, I’ll message her back too.

Even as I make that decision, the mood between us heats up, and just like that…

“Could we have those too, perhaps?”

“………….”

We handed over two latest-version smartphones—with instruction manuals—to the world’s strongest creature and made our retreat, so we could enjoy the rest.

I knew it!

I knew from the start that if I powered up smartphones into something convenient, the world’s strongest creature would interfere!

So it’s totally fine! There’s no problem at all with me flirting with Yumeba!

◇◇◇

I messed up.

《Lio. I’m bored.》

《Lio. Are you heading to the Adventurers’ Guild right now?》

《Lio. Are you in the Holy Kingdom today?》

《Lio. Buy me souvenirs, okay》

《Lio. I miss you.》

etc, etc, etc……

Yeah. Giving a smartphone with L●NE to Yumeba—who was already basically a yandere-in-training—was a mistake.

During Royal Guard training, maybe just to kill time, she keeps sending messages nonstop.

And since she can track my location with the map function too, she can tell exactly where I am and what I’m doing.

Maybe he’s going through the same thing, because Yukina-san’s husband looked at me with bitter eyes, and I truly am sorry.

Saionji women + smartphone = the yandere escalation law. I should’ve seen it coming, and it’s my fault.

Replying is a nightmare.

Anyway, money-making and smartphone modding are done, and things have settled down.

Now, as weird as it sounds, all that’s left is waiting for the war to start.

“A naval battle, huh.”

Lying back on the sofa, I open my world map magic—carved into my right eye—and zoom in on the Empire’s ports.

There aren’t many places where you can land in the Empire from the sea.

Not many, but not exactly few either.

Even if the enemy wins the naval battle and lands—and I go to meet them—there’s a chance House Saionji alone won’t have enough hands to cover everything.

But even before that…

“To think they’d actually choose to challenge a naval battle.”

In this world, monsters appear more frequently at sea than on land.

Merchant ships don’t just hire skilled guards—apparently, in areas where monsters appear especially often, they even sail while sprinkling monster-repelling holy water into the sea.

That monster-repelling holy water isn’t cheap either, so they don’t use it outside truly dangerous waters, apparently.

That’s how dangerous it is to sail in this world’s seas.

Even if warships form a fleet, you can’t reduce monster damage to zero, and if a storm hits along the way, the losses will be brutal.

And if they understand all that and still choose to invade the Empire…

“Someone who hates the Empire—someone with an obsession to destroy it. There’s a good chance that mastermind is the one pulling the strings.”

The damage the Empire takes from this naval battle will definitely be in the tens of thousands, and if ships go down, the expenses will naturally balloon.

Even if I and House Saionji loan money, a loss is still a loss.

And even if the Empire somehow wins, there’s the added mess that no one knows who to demand reparations from.

Just like the time with the Continental Public Security Maintenance Alliance, it isn’t like one country is clearly leading things, and there’s no one you can call the responsible party.

Except the mastermind—but they won’t show themselves.

“The Empire sure managed to earn the grudge of a real pain.”

I don’t know who they are or why they hate the Empire, but I really wish they’d leave me and Yumeba’s peace alone.

Ping.

Right as I’m thinking that, a message arrives on my smartphone, cutting my thoughts off.

Obviously, there’s no sender other than Yumeba. I’m thinking about how to reply when I check the message and…

《Lio. Are you worried about something? I’ll listen, so talk to me.》

It was so direct it made her seem psychic.

“………….”

I think for a moment, then send a message back.

《Yumeba. I love you》

I sent my honest feelings as they were, but…

《Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ Lio♡ ……》

It came back as a crazed flood of love so fast I genuinely don’t know how she typed it that quickly.

Yeah. But somehow, realizing again just how deep Yumeba’s love runs made me feel a little relieved.

◇◆◇

“I was wondering what you’ve been sneaking around doing behind my back… are you idiots?”

“Ugh… we got played…”

“Our dream smartphone…”

While Yunix looks disgusted, the two of them are utterly crushed.

The self-destruct was something Emilio set up, but maybe he showed them a tiny bit of consideration since they helped finish it—the blast knocked them out, but it wasn’t strong enough to kill or maim them.

Still, when they woke up, the shock of losing their ideal smartphone completely killed their motivation.

“What is a smartphone?”

“Uh, well, it’s…”

“Uhh…”

Yunix asks, but the restrictions on them keep the two of them from answering properly.

If they could explain it, Yunix would’ve realized it was the flat device Yumeba has been fiddling with during Royal Guard training lately—but if they can’t explain it, he can’t understand it either.

“Whatever. More importantly, there’s something I need to tell you while I have the chance.”

“What is it?”

“About the next war.”

“W-War?”

Naturally, for two guys born and raised in Japan, war is something distant.

Even if they came to another world, became adventurers, and hunted monsters, they still had never killed a human being.

“Originally, it would’ve been best if you were the ones to target… and dispose of Emilio, but right now, driving off the enemy trying to invade the Empire takes priority over Emilio.”

“………….”

“The next war will likely be a naval battle, and Emilio… House Saionji will probably be deployed there, but they’re the key to the defense. Which means this is our chance to seize the honor of being the first to charge in and make our mark.”

“………….”

“…Are you listening?”

“We’re against war.”

“………….”

They’re always unmotivated, but today they’re even more timid than usual, and even Yunix is left speechless.

“Don’t tell me you two… are you going to say you’ve never killed a person?”

“We think killing people is wrong.”

“………….”

Faced with allies this unreliable, Yunix feels like he might pass out from the headache.

(H-How am I supposed to kick their asses into gear and get them to go to war?)

That’s what Yunix thinks—but to be honest, the coming war will be Yunix’s first battle too.

Yunix has never missed a day of sword and magic training, and he’s been weaving schemes and plots for ages, but he has no real combat experience.

During the war with the allied forces, he stayed shut in the conference room, and when the Kingdom of Rotoria attacked, it was a defensive battle where House Saionji took center stage—so Yunix was completely a bystander.

That’s why he’d been counting on the two of them, who supposedly had power on par with A-class adventurers, but…

(I-It’ll be fine. I’m the man who’ll become Emperor. There’s no way I’ll die somewhere like this!)

He desperately pumps himself up while forcing down the anxiety and fear surging up inside him.

And then spring arrives—the spring when the enemy comes to attack.