I Hope You’re Still Alive When Tomorrow Comes - 33

Chapter 33: Pain

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Nanami was there. At the other end of the hallway, five meters away from me. She stood still, staring at me as if she was searching for the right words to say. This was the first time we had faced each other since that day in the infirmary. Our eyes met and I could see her face tensing ever so slightly.

I could see her taking her breath, as if she was nervous. However, seemingly determined, she walked straight toward me. 

“….I’m sorry about the other day, Kan-chan.”

As soon as she reached me, Nanami lowered her face and muttered softly. A familiar voice. Like the voice of a child that was on the verge of crying. 

“I… I said something terrible to you, Kan-chan.”

“…No, you-“

Seeing how she gripped the herm of her skirt so tightly like that, I shook my head. 

“I’m sorry too, for saying mean things to you.”

“No, Kan-chan, you didn’t.”

“Were you okay? After that.”

“Ah, yeah. I’m fine. It was a mild one, so I managed to calm down pretty quickly.”

“I see.”

“…Sorry for making you worry.”

Our conversation came to a halt. Silence ensued between us. I could tell we were both struggling to find the next words. It felt terribly awkward and this made me feel extremely sad for a split second. After all, I never expected I would feel this awkward with Nanami before. I had never struggled to find the words to say when talking to her. 

“…Umm, just now..”

Nanami broke the heavy silence. Her voice sounded hesitant. 

“Kan-chan, were you talking with Sakashita-san?”

“Yeah, I was.”

“…Then, Kan-chan…”

Nanami continued albeit hesitantly. She was still looking down and fiddling nervously with the hem of her skirt.

“Are you dating Sakashita-san?”

“Huh?”

“Ah, I mean, I heard rumors in the class, so…”

Hearing her soft muttering, I felt a bit exasperated to know the rumors were already spreading.

“We’re not dating, we’re just…”

I was about to say ‘friends’, but I remembered Kiho’s words earlier. 

“…Acquaintances.”

“Really? But you two seemed so close.”

“I’m just following her around one-sidedly. It seems she’s still aiming after Hiwatari.”

“…Huh?”

Nanami finally looked up. Her face was tense from shock. 

“I told you before, didn’t I? About that rumor…”

“No, I mean, I thought it was just a rumor… So… It was true after all?”

“It is. That’s why, Nanami, you shouldn’t be so complacent.”

I said, the advice slipped out from my mouth before I could stop myself. Nanami didn’t say anything back. She fell silent as she stared at me with a thoughtful expression.

After a short pause, Nanami continued on. 

“Then, Kan-chan… Are you…”

Nanami seemed to be choosing her words carefully. She sounded worried. 

“So it’s an unrequited love? You and Sakashita-san.”

Her cautious tone made me feel a bit uneasy, but in the end, I nodded. 

“Well….”

This was all Kiho’s fault. 

“Yeah. It’s an unrequited love on my part.”

“I see…”

Nanami lowered her eyes again, looking solemn. Silence ensued between us again. Nanami seemed to be lost in thought. She must be searching for the right words to say. Probably she was confused whether to encourage or comfort me. 

Understanding what was going on in Nanami’s head, I spoke before Nanami could open her mouth.

“That’s why, you better hold on tight on Hiwatari.”

“Huh?”

“Hiwatari must not get swayed by Kiho. I would be in trouble if he did. I don’t think Hiwatari is interested in Kiho for now, but that doesn’t mean he won’t change his mind in the future. That’s why, you must not get complacent. Don’t let your guard down, Nanami.”

“Huh? Ah, ye-yeah.”

Nanami’s eyes widened in shock at my words. But then, her expression quickly turned tense again. 

“I see… Yeah, you’re right.” 

She murmured softly as she nodded to herself and clenched her fist tightly against her chest. 

“Leave it to me, Kan-chan. I’ll be sure to hold on to Suguru-kun properly. I won’t let him get away from me!”

“I’m counting on you, Nanami.”

“Yeah, it’ll be fine! That’s why…. Kan-chan…”

At that moment, Nanami’s expression suddenly grimaced. The smile she had kept on her face turned a bit awkward for a moment. That moment only lasted for a split second though. Nanami looked down, she lightly bit her lip before she quickly lifted her face again. 

She looked straight into my eyes and forced a smile out. 

“Do your best, Kan-chan. I’m cheering for you.”

Her voice sounded a bit shaky there, but maybe it was just my imagination. Her smile looked awkward too, like it pained her to smile. She looked like she was on the verge of tears. 

However, that too, must be just my wishful thinking. 

After all…

“Thank you, Nanami.”

I was in pain right now. In extreme pain. If she could feel a pain similar to mine, even just for a little bit, I would feel relieved.

“…Do your best.”

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T/N: Can’t jump to conclusion here.