I Hope You’re Still Alive When Tomorrow Comes - 25

Chapter 25: Next to That Girl

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“Nanami’s Mama loves the sea, you know. That’s why….”

Nanami said as she picked a blue crayon to start drawing on her sketchbook. Her voice was full of joy. 

“That’s why there’s ‘sea’ in Nanami’s name.”

“But there isn’t? There’s no ‘sea’ in Nanami?”

Not quite understanding what Nanami was talking about, I tilted my head to the side. I continued drawing with crayons in my sketchbook, just like Nanami. It was a sunny day, so all the other kids were playing outside. Only Nanami and I were staying inside the classroom. 

“There is. It’s the ‘mi’ (海) in Nanami (七海). The ‘mi’ is the sea.”

“….I don’t get it.”

“Anyway, that’s why Nanami wants to go to the sea. I’ve been wanting to go for a long time.”

Not caring about my response, Nanami continued excitedly. Her hands never stopped drawing in her sketchbook. She was drawing the sea. At this age, Nanami always drew pictures of the sea. This was a week before the overnight trip at the nursery.

“The sea is really big and beautiful. We will all play in the sea together when we go to Yuzushima. That’s what the teacher said.”

“Hmm…”

At that time, I was more curious about the cheerful voices coming from outside. I was getting bored of drawing. In fact, I didn’t even like to draw to begin with. I often wondered how Nanami never got bored of drawing everyday. Furthermore, she had been drawing the same picture over and over again recently. 

Getting increasingly bored, I was considering going outside to play when suddenly, Nanami said…

“Let’s play together in the sea when we go to Yuzushima, Kan-chan!”

“Yeah, okay.”

“It’s a promise!”

With a joyful smile on her face, Nanami extended her pinky finger to me. 

At that time, I didn’t understand why Nanami was always inside, drawing all the time. I didn’t know why she didn’t just play outside, nor the reason why she often skipped nursery school. And so, without thinking too deeply about it, I intertwined my pinky finger with her. Nanami’s smile grew even bigger. She began singing. 

“Pinky, pinky bow-bell, whoever tells a lie~ Will sink down to the bad place~ And never rise up again~”

I joined in the singing, still completely oblivious. I only found out that Nanami couldn’t come right on the day of the overnight stay at the nursery school. 

While carrying a bag bigger than usual, I stepped outside, feeling more excited than usual. 

“―No! No! No!!”

I saw Nanami crying in front of her house. Her hair was disheveled, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks.

“Nanami wants to go! I’m going! I’m definitely going!”

“Good grief… Stop being so selfish.”

Nanami’s mother, who was trying to calm her down, looked like she was about to cry too. Nanami’s mother looked so perplexed. She seemed just as sad as Nanami. 

“No!”

Nanami screamed, yelling as loud as she could and pushed her mother’s arm as her mother tried to hug her. Nanami often cried, but that was the first time I ever saw her crying like that. She was the epitome of anguish.

Thinking about it now, that was the first time and last time she ever cried like that. 

“Nanami wants to go! Together with Kan-chan! We promised to play at the beach together! Nanami-! Nanami promised Kan-chan!”

Finally, it dawned on me. Nanami was different from other kids. What was possible for other kids, might not be possible for Nanami.

“….Maybe, I shouldn’t go either…”

I mumbled to the teacher just before getting on the bust. For some reason, the teacher also looked a bit sad.

“Make sure you will play with Nanami-chan a lot when we’re back. Okay?”

The teacher said and in the end, I was persuaded to get on the bus. Sitting down, I looked out the window and there, I saw Nanami staring up at me. Her eyes were red. Her shoulders were shivering as she continued to sob. Our eyes met and she broke down crying once again. I could almost see her lips moving, begging me not to go. 

“Don’t go…”

Don’t leave me, Kan-chan. 

That was when I realized that Nanami was ‘pitiful’. I decided that when I got back, I would draw with Nanami again. No matter how much I wanted to play outside, I would hold back. Because… Nanami couldn’t. Because Nanami was pitiful. I decided that I would stay by her side, so she wouldn’t cry like that again. So she wouldn’t be sad. 

That was what I was thinking. Just that, really. 

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At first, I thought the bus would only take us to the foot of the mountain. It turned out, the bus climbed all the way to the middle of the mountain. After about twenty minutes of going up the mountain road, we finally reached our final stop. All the other passengers had already gotten off along the way, leaving just us two riding until the last stop. 

“….So this is what you meant by climbing the mountain?”

I muttered, feeling a bit disappointed.

Right after getting off the boss, we could already see where the observation deck was. Beyond the rolling rocks the railing fence, an expanse of sea and small islands stretched out before us. 

“The summit is still up ahead, but the view here is already beautiful, huh?”

Nodding, I walked closer to the railing. I looked down and my vision was immediately filled with the clearest deep blue.

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“Kan-chan, can you draw the sea?”

After returning from an overnight trip with the nursery school, I went to play with Nanami-chan again. She handed me her sketchbook. She didn’t ask what we did or where we went during the trip. She only asked me to draw the sea. 

Nodding, I took the sketchbook from Nanami. With a blue crayon in hand, I filled the blank page in blue. 

“…Nanami-chan.”

“Hm?”

“Next time, let’s go together.”

“Huh?”

“When Nanami-chan is a bit healthier, let’s go to Yuzushima together. Let’s play at the sea together. Okay?”

Nanami stared at my face, blinking a few times before soon, her face lit up with a smile. Her cheeks turned red, her face was the very picture of joy. 

“Yeah!”

With a beaming smile, Nanami extended her pinky finger to me. 

“Let’s go together, Kan-chan.”

Nanami… Just how long has she remembered that promise? How long has she pictured me by her side, at the sea?

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