I Fell in Love with Someone I Shouldn't Have Fallen in Love with - Chapter 3

Distance

After entering high school, my days became even busier.

I’m starting a new life in an unfamiliar high school.

In terms of friendship, I have a few friends from middle school who goes to the same high school, but most of the students in my grade are from different middle schools. Building new relationships from scratch is quite challenging.

As for the studies, the level of difficulty has increased significantly compared to middle school. However, my classmates around me are all diligently taking notes during class with serious expressions. Watching them, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of anxiety.

‘Am I the only one who doesn’t understand the lesson?’

‘Are they all keeping up with the lessons?’

I thought so in my mind.

Honestly, I was having a hard time deciding whether to join a club activity or not, but in the end, I chose not to.

Even though there is a literature club in my high school, I want to have free time after school and on days off.

However, I haven’t been able to spend much time with Souji-kun since the end of spring break.

Even when I visited his room late at night,

‘I need to focus on keeping up with my schoolwork, so I want to study.’

He would tell me so and send me back to my room early.

After school, Souji-kun always seem to have some other things to do, so we haven’t been able to have that after-school date I’ve been longing for.

I once tried to pick him up from his school after messaging him beforehand, but as I waited outside of his school gate, I ended up drawing a lot of attention and regretted it deeply. In the end, we were able to walk home together that day, but it was pretty much just that. We didn’t take a detour to go anywhere and head straight home.

At first, since we had just entered high school and I was also quite busy myself, I thought that things would settle down after a while and we would be able to spend time together again.

However, just before the Golden Week holiday, Souji-kun started a part-time job and becomes even busier than before.

Furthermore, Souji-kun told me,

“I’ve decided to start living on my own before graduating from high school. I’m planning to save up some money and move during the summer vacation.”

Souji-kun had told me before that he would move out of our home after graduating from high school, so I was naturally surprised and asked for his reasons.

He just explained to me simply that he wanted to focus on his studies and part time work.

Honestly, I can’t accept that explanation.

I believed that once we are in high school, we would be able to spend more time together, have fun, and hang out a lot more. But now, if we stop living together and things stays the same, we will hardly be able to see each other anymore.

Thinking about this, I can’t easily come to terms with it.

Furthermore, Souji-kun high school is a public high school, and without a doubt, Souji-kun will be very popular in his school.

If a girl who likes Souji-kun comes along, I won’t be able to compete with her since we won’t be living together anymore.

“Why? You said that you would stay with us until you graduate from high school. Why are you in such a hurry? Besides, if it’s about money, won’t you save more by continuing to live with us?”

“I’m sorry…but I’ve made my decision.”

“Are you sure that you are telling me everything? Are there no other reasons? Maybe something related to Mama? Did Mama say something to you? Could it be that Mama is trying to get rid of you, Souji-kun?”

“N-No, that’s not true. Ami-san’s mother hasn’t said anything to me. However, it is true that she doesn’t like me living here, so I can’t deny that it’s not unrelated to why I’m thinking about moving out.”

Upon hearing those words, I find myself unable to say anything to persuade him further.

It’s true that Mama has been acting cold towards Souji-kun since the day he came to our home, and if I put myself in his shoes, it’s only natural for Souji-kun to want to distance himself.

I shouldn’t hold Souji-kun back any longer just because of my selfishness.

All I want is to be with Souji-kun.

I thought that even if I can’t be your lover, I would be satisfied just with being by your side.

However, I have come to a realization that idea is naïve and unrealistic.